Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-26-2012, 03:44 PM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,467
Default DCM Shows Dislike For My Kids

There is no other way to say that nicely. It is blatantly obvious that my day care Mom dislikes my youngest son(4). He is a sweet kid, and no other parents have an issue with him, or ever have. DCG wanted to show her something today and my son said "Miss. ***** look at me do this!" (you know how kids are) and he climbed over a part of the playground equipment. She rolled her eyes and turned away. Then he hugged DCG on her way out and DCM said to DCG right in front of DS "I hope to God he didn't kiss you!" My son looked SO DEJECTED! I cannot help but be offended as her DS is the most overly affectionate child I have EVER had in my care. If you aren't paying attention to HIM, holding HIM, kissing HIM, he is in your face and clingy about it. Her ds (almost 4) does these things to my DD (13) so it's not much different than my ds and her dd!

Would you have said anything? Dh says I should just tell her that he is mimicing her ds
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-26-2012, 03:48 PM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,467
Default

She also has made several other comments about my older ds (7) being loud. He has mild hearing loss, so he has problems regulating his voice and she knows this.

She also asks me questions about what I let my dd (13) do. Yes she is allowed to walk in our woods. wth lady???
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-26-2012, 03:57 PM
Truly Scrumptious's Avatar
Truly Scrumptious Truly Scrumptious is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 211
Default

Oh h*** no!! I had a dcmom several years ago that would do this to the other day care kids and I know how that made me feel. I had to have a talk with her and she wasn't very happy. So, I gave her two choices...stop it or move on! If it had been towards one of my own children, she would have gotten her notice.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-26-2012, 04:35 PM
snowball's Avatar
snowball snowball is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 64
Default

I would terminate. My family comes first and I would not tolerate someone making them feel bad in their own home.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-26-2012, 06:48 PM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

I would terminate care, too. I would have zero tolerance for someone criticizing my own children in thier own home...especially when there was no misbehavior happening.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-26-2012, 06:53 PM
spud912's Avatar
spud912 spud912 is online now
Trix are for kids
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,312
Default

This brings me back to a dc father I had a ways back that would make sly comments about my older dd and another dcb. To this day, I regret not standing up for them!

He would say things like: "when is your daughter ever going to talk?" She was 2 at the time and shy around him! Another time, he said that dcb and my dd's lack of communication skills were the reason why their daughter kept having accidents . Yeah, that was quite the stretch if you ask me. Both my dd and my sweet dcb were and still are quite the chatterboxes (just not around everyone), and I really don't see the connection as to how another child's "lack of communication" results in another child to pee on the floor. Her accidents were actually a method to control whatever situation (she peed on command when she didn't get her way).

I would definitely say something to your dcm.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-26-2012, 07:30 PM
DaisyMamma's Avatar
DaisyMamma DaisyMamma is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,239
Default

I don't like that one bit.
Even if you get her to stop while she is in front of you , she will continue behind your back in front of her kids, AND she will be annoyed with you so it will probably be worse.
I would try to find a very delicate way to approach the subject next time something occurs.
Good luck!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-26-2012, 08:49 PM
EchoMom's Avatar
EchoMom EchoMom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 728
Default

OMG if anyone said anything snarky about my son I would absolutely stand up for them and if they weren't sincerely apologetic I wouldn't hesistate to give them the boot. There is no way I would accept any amount of money for being so disrespectful to me, my son, in his own home! No way, if you're like me, the whole reason you're doing home daycare is to give your own kids the very best because you love them so much.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-27-2012, 03:59 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,467
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
This brings me back to a dc father I had a ways back that would make sly comments about my older dd and another dcb. To this day, I regret not standing up for them!

He would say things like: "when is your daughter ever going to talk?" She was 2 at the time and shy around him! Another time, he said that dcb and my dd's lack of communication skills were the reason why their daughter kept having accidents . Yeah, that was quite the stretch if you ask me. Both my dd and my sweet dcb were and still are quite the chatterboxes (just not around everyone), and I really don't see the connection as to how another child's "lack of communication" results in another child to pee on the floor. Her accidents were actually a method to control whatever situation (she peed on command when she didn't get her way).

I would definitely say something to your dcm.

^ sounds like this DCM. HER kid(s) can do no wrong. This is the Mom of the dcb who is almost 4 still having regular accidents. She blamed my younger daycare kids (because they aren't potty trained) on her sons 'regression'. One is 16m! LOL! That conversation was amusing. "To REgress with potty training, we would need him to have regular PROgress at home."

Her daughter (almost 9) is soooooo boy crazy and catty it's not even funny. DCG who is aging out and she are good friends and get along great. She will be on vacation next week and the SECOND she walked out the door yesterday (after DCG hugged her, gave her a homemade "miss you" card, etc). DCG turned around and said "I am so glad she is gone, I can't stand her. Do you know she likes (insert boys name that all of my kids know and that we see regularly at the playground). Wouldn't it be funny to tell him? He won't like her because she is too ugly." WTF!? She WILL be a 'mean girl'. I don't think kids just become like that, she's like her Mom! There is nooooo point in telling her Mom because she calls it 'normal girl behavior'. I have a 13 year old, H*** NO that isn't normal!

There was another thing just last night. Ds (7) was showering and I heard him singing the whistle song(which is apparantly about oral sex)! DCG taught it to him! She told dd and ds she sings it on the radio with her Mom. I guess I am back to not allowing them to play in the dining room/adjacent to the playroom without my constant supervision until they are replaced.

Other issues are that Mom will NOT reinforce my rules with her kids. We don't run up the walkway/out front since it is a busy street and she allows her (almost 4) year old to go open their car doors. He ran into the road last week to open her door/drivers side and completely ignored her when she yelled to him.

Her ds is VERY aggressive, but ONLY towards his sister. I have out-lawed all power rangers talk, ninja turtles, superman, spiderman, etc for ALL the kids because dcb will just walk up to his sister and slap/bite/punch her (leaving lasting marks twice this week) with a smile on his face the whole time. (and *I* get the third degree when I put him in time out!)

Any behavior problem that I bring up is "Well did ds/dd learn it from here?" Her ds learned ONE thing from my ds (poopy-head) after older ds had friends over, and it ran rampant through the little kids. I stopped it, but I swear I will NEVER hear the end of it.

They wear their shoes in my house. I have hardwoods everywhere and just replaced them last year. I asked them repeatedly and her excuse is always 'well we wear shoes in our house so it's hard to get used to'. Different houses have different rules. MIL's is a shoe off house and my Mom's is a shoe on house. My kids see dh and I doing it, they do it too. She works in a factory, and I can only imagine what she is dragging all over my playroom floors. Yesterday without even asking me, she walked through my playroom, through my dining room, out my french doors and into my backyard (it had been raining ALL DAY) then walked right back through and tracked mud everywhere. I was SO MAD.

Thank you for letting me vent! Gosh that felt good to get out! My ad is up, I emailed my registrar to let her know I want referrals again. It's only a matter of time now.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:25 AM
texascare's Avatar
texascare texascare is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 203
Default

You poor thing that is awful! If she says one more thing you need to turn around and ask he point blank "do you have a problem with my son?". I have been in this situation and it was not fun. The parent seemed to "pick" on my child and always say derogatory things. I finally said if you have a problem with my child maybe you need to find are elsewhere!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:35 AM
countrymom's Avatar
countrymom countrymom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: ontario canada
Posts: 4,756
Default

first, "what, the whistle song is about oral sex" my ds loves that song. Now I need to listen to the lyrics.

Sounds like your kids aren't enjoying them either. I had a kid like this, and let me tell you, it made for a long summer. My kids were so miserable. I finally had enough and had to let them go. I couldn't deal with the comments everyday, that would drive me crazy.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-27-2012, 06:22 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,467
Default

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

I'm betting you like bebop
And i'm betting you love creep mode
And i'm betting you like girls that give love to girls
And stroke your little ego
I bet you i'm guilty your honor
But that's how we live in my genre
When I hell I pay rottweiler
There's only one flo, and one rida
I'm a damn shame
Order more champagne, pull a damn hamstring
Tryna put it on ya
Bet your lips spin back around corner
Slow it down baby take a little longer

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

It's like everywhere I go
My whistle ready to blow
Shorty don't leave a note
She can get any by the low
Permission not approved
It's okay, it's under control
Show me soprano, cause girl you can handle
Baby we start snagging, you come in part clothes
Girl i'm losing wing, my bugatti the same road
Show me your perfect pitch,
You got it my banjo
Talented with your lips, like you blew out candles
So amusing, now you can make a whistle with the music
Hope you ain't got no issue, you can do it
Give me the perfect picture, never lose it

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

Go girl you can work it
Let me see your whistle while you work it
I'mma lay it back, don't stop it
Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it, on
me
Now, shorty let that whistle blow
Yeah, baby let that whistle blow

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby




The bolded part is what DS was singing. Thankfully younger ds only picked up "whistle baby, whistle baby" although I wear a whistle and he asked me this morning if he could blow my whistle, baby.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 07-27-2012, 06:40 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 23,470
Default

Honestly it simply sounds as if this family is just not a good fit for your program or your life. You obviously don't pride yourself on comparison with others and you don't seem to be into playing the blame game for bad behaviors.

The comments she makes are rude and disrespectful but the dismissal of your house rules (shoe wearing) would NOT be tolerated here. period.

I also NEVER allow parents (or myself) to make mention, note or even talk about where a child learned some nasty habit/word/behavior or whatever.....because honestly, who care where they learned it?!?

I am far more concerned about WHAT you (the parent) are going to do about stopping it. Where it came from has no bearing on the fact that certain behaviors or actions are inappropriate.

I know everyone is not upfront and blunt but I know I certainly can be and have zero issues saying something to parents if I feel their words or actions were rude or snarky...... especially towards my children. I personally would call this mom out on her comments and her behavior and although I know that rarely stops people who are that "type" it does make me feel better.

You can bet your life, I would NEVER allow a parent to make such disrespectful comments about MY child(ren) in their home.

I think you need to let this family go, NOT necessarily because of the rudeness but for the disregard of your policies. I believe that you get out of life what you put in to it and I am guessing this mom is going to be hunted down by Karma and giving a swift kick in the fanny! ........She obviously needs it.


Part of me wants you to PM me her phone number so I can tell her what a twit she is!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 07-27-2012, 07:50 AM
SunshineMama's Avatar
SunshineMama SunshineMama is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Legally unlicensed state
Posts: 1,576
Default

If anyone had even the slightest problem with my kids they would get terminated on the spot. Unless, of course, my kid was legitimately acting poorly and was deserving of the comment. But to treat my kid badly for a hug? Uhhh, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 07-27-2012, 08:00 AM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,837
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
^ sounds like this DCM. HER kid(s) can do no wrong. This is the Mom of the dcb who is almost 4 still having regular accidents. She blamed my younger daycare kids (because they aren't potty trained) on her sons 'regression'. One is 16m! LOL! That conversation was amusing. "To REgress with potty training, we would need him to have regular PROgress at home."

Her daughter (almost 9) is soooooo boy crazy and catty it's not even funny. DCG who is aging out and she are good friends and get along great. She will be on vacation next week and the SECOND she walked out the door yesterday (after DCG hugged her, gave her a homemade "miss you" card, etc). DCG turned around and said "I am so glad she is gone, I can't stand her. Do you know she likes (insert boys name that all of my kids know and that we see regularly at the playground). Wouldn't it be funny to tell him? He won't like her because she is too ugly." WTF!? She WILL be a 'mean girl'. I don't think kids just become like that, she's like her Mom! There is nooooo point in telling her Mom because she calls it 'normal girl behavior'. I have a 13 year old, H*** NO that isn't normal!

There was another thing just last night. Ds (7) was showering and I heard him singing the whistle song(which is apparantly about oral sex)! DCG taught it to him! She told dd and ds she sings it on the radio with her Mom. I guess I am back to not allowing them to play in the dining room/adjacent to the playroom without my constant supervision until they are replaced.

Other issues are that Mom will NOT reinforce my rules with her kids. We don't run up the walkway/out front since it is a busy street and she allows her (almost 4) year old to go open their car doors. He ran into the road last week to open her door/drivers side and completely ignored her when she yelled to him.

Her ds is VERY aggressive, but ONLY towards his sister. I have out-lawed all power rangers talk, ninja turtles, superman, spiderman, etc for ALL the kids because dcb will just walk up to his sister and slap/bite/punch her (leaving lasting marks twice this week) with a smile on his face the whole time. (and *I* get the third degree when I put him in time out!)

Any behavior problem that I bring up is "Well did ds/dd learn it from here?" Her ds learned ONE thing from my ds (poopy-head) after older ds had friends over, and it ran rampant through the little kids. I stopped it, but I swear I will NEVER hear the end of it.

They wear their shoes in my house. I have hardwoods everywhere and just replaced them last year. I asked them repeatedly and her excuse is always 'well we wear shoes in our house so it's hard to get used to'. Different houses have different rules. MIL's is a shoe off house and my Mom's is a shoe on house. My kids see dh and I doing it, they do it too. She works in a factory, and I can only imagine what she is dragging all over my playroom floors. Yesterday without even asking me, she walked through my playroom, through my dining room, out my french doors and into my backyard (it had been raining ALL DAY) then walked right back through and tracked mud everywhere. I was SO MAD.

Thank you for letting me vent! Gosh that felt good to get out! My ad is up, I emailed my registrar to let her know I want referrals again. It's only a matter of time now.
PLEASE!!! put up a BIG sign that you make this weekend.

BABY ZONE...NO SHOES BEYOND THIS POINT...NO EXCEPTIONS!

That is about the rudest thing I've heard in a while....
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 07-27-2012, 08:14 AM
littlemissmuffet's Avatar
littlemissmuffet littlemissmuffet is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,081
Default

Parents who come into my home with their shoes on are given a warning. Do it again and you are not welcome passed the front entrance. Again? Terminated. I don't care what the rules are in other people's homes, I care what the rules in MY home are, and if they aren't followed, you aren't welcome. Period.

As for the nasty comments - I would have most definitely stood up for my child right then and there. As a matter of fact, even if this DCM was being such a snot to one of my DCK's I would have stood up for them immediately too.

I don't tolerate disrespect at all. Sometimes a person genuinely doesn't realize they are being rude until it is pointed out - then, they usually stop. This woman, just sounds like a b*****.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 07-27-2012, 09:20 AM
texascare's Avatar
texascare texascare is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 203
Default

I would post a sign or notice on your front door at eye level that says "no shoe zone." If they have shoes on at the door tell them they need to remove them and don't let them in. I don't tolerate disrespect and this is your house.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
disrespectful parents, disrespectful speach, disrespectful speech, parent-rude to my kids, rude parents

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
sick of watching sick kids momof3 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 04-30-2015 07:48 AM
DCP Took Her 3 Sick Kids To Work Lilbutterflie Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 01-19-2015 03:01 PM
My Own Kids Disturb My Program athomemommy Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 15 07-25-2012 02:07 PM
TV Time Blackcat31 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 67 01-05-2011 08:27 AM
Are Monitors for Napping Required? Unregistered Parents and Guardians Forum 41 07-02-2010 02:04 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:39 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming