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  #1  
Old 06-05-2013, 10:16 AM
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Default Problem With A 3yr Old Bully

I have a dcb that is a total bully. He just turned 3 and can't keep his hands off anyone. I have posted before about him. He's the one that comes in chewing bubble gum, brings toys with him continuously. Last week he had a couple of toys with him and I said something to mom about it and she said, well he did have 5 toys, but now he only has 2/3. So it was supposed to be okay. So, this is a problem family. He got better for awhile, but his week has been terrible again. He 2 handed pushed another child down on Monday and is just really rough hands on everyone else. Continuously I'm on him about it. Mentioned it to dad at pickup and get the usual Johnny why did you do that? Then promptly changes the subject like he doesn't even want to deal with it. I know that they do nothing about it with him. Today he clocked a dcg in the head with a little people bus. He has been right next to me the rest of the day. My question is, do I bother to tell the dad about it? Hasn't seemed to do anythiing before about it. They are done with me by the 1st of September so that's good. So I don't know if I should even bother to say anything. Can't afford to term at this point and really I only have a couple of months left anyway. I gues my question is, what can a parent really do to stop this behavior that he has here?
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Old 06-05-2013, 11:40 AM
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The parent CAN support you by following your policies, talking to their child about what is acceptable behavior at daycare, supporting the idea that mean/physical play is not okay but it doesnt sound like any of that is going to happen with these parents. You can keep this child and watch him like a hawk for the next few months and take the risk that no one will get seriously hurt OR you can term now. Constantly bringing up stuff to the parents is not helping at all and more than likely, they may try to find a way to leave your care sooner because they will see your comments as complaining. They clearly are not going to address the behavior or help support any changes. Either you can deal with that or you cant.
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  #3  
Old 06-05-2013, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
The parent CAN support you by following your policies, talking to their child about what is acceptable behavior at daycare, supporting the idea that mean/physical play is not okay but it doesnt sound like any of that is going to happen with these parents. You can keep this child and watch him like a hawk for the next few months and take the risk that no one will get seriously hurt OR you can term now. Constantly bringing up stuff to the parents is not helping at all and more than likely, they may try to find a way to leave your care sooner because they will see your comments as complaining. They clearly are not going to address the behavior or help support any changes. Either you can deal with that or you cant.
That's what I'm thinking is that if I bring it up again that they will leave sooner. I would prefer to keep a constant eye on him and keep the income until September. I'm pretty full in September and really can't lose the $210 every 2 weeks right now. He really is just so bad that they are going to have such a hard time with him when he goes to preschool in the fall and grandma the rest of the time. They are leaving here because the days he needs in the fall, I can't accomodate so bye bye. I think since he'll be going to grandmas the entire time he's not in preschool he's going to get worse.
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Old 06-05-2013, 12:35 PM
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If it was me I would bite the bullet and just deal with him but document EVERYTHING the little turd does in case I need the information at a later date.
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  #5  
Old 06-06-2013, 10:30 AM
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There is something seriously wrong with this child. At lunch today, he put his finger in his mouth and then threw up all over his plate. After that it was naptime. I put them all in the same room and after awhile I hear this thumping noise. I go in there and it's him hitting the wall with his elbow. So, I take him and put him in another room by himself and there he is now crying. UGH!
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:07 AM
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Mom dropped off the little darling this morning and asked me if he was sick here last week. She said that he told her that he threw up. I said, no he put french fries in his mouth and proceeded to spit them up all over his plate. She laughed and said oh yea, he says that he's allergic to certain foods that he doesn't like. Oh and he had McDonalds yesterday with fries and she said that he ate those just fine, Again hahaha. I said he's had french fries here 100 times and never did that before. I'm thinking since she thinks it's so funny that next time he does that, I'm going to call her and tell her that he vomited so she has to come and get him. Who will be laughing then? All this time too she's laughing about it,he's standing right there.
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:18 AM
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KNOWING they are done by the first of September makes it that much harder to deal. I have one on the way out too and I swear these last few days are torture...

Anyways though.....I would NOT in a million years put up with that kind of behavior. The second that child threw up (self-inflicted or not) I would have call for pick up and then excluded the following day.

As far as the toys go, I would confiscate them upon arrival and NOT give them back. Ever.

I don't know if you are simply keeping them through the summer for the money or what...but NO way in he77 I would put up with that stuff.

There is NO amount of money (well maybe followed by 6 zero's ) that could be compensation enough to put up with such disrespectful behavior from both the parent and the child.
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:26 AM
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KNOWING they are done by the first of September makes it that much harder to deal. I have one on the way out too and I swear these last few days are torture...

Anyways though.....I would NOT in a million years put up with that kind of behavior. The second that child threw up (self-inflicted or not) I would have call for pick up and then excluded the following day.

As far as the toys go, I would confiscate them upon arrival and NOT give them back. Ever.

I don't know if you are simply keeping them through the summer for the money or what...but NO way in he77 I would put up with that stuff.

There is NO amount of money (well maybe followed by 6 zero's ) that could be compensation enough to put up with such disrespectful behavior from both the parent and the child.
Oh you can bet your bottom that she'll be getting a call next time he does that crap. Not to mention that he just crapped his pants AGAIN! He's over 3 and refuses to go on the toilet, but yet she brings him in pullups. Well, he just got another kids diaper on him. How he's going to start preschool in September is beyond me because you have to be 100% potty trained to go there. Not my problem. I'm full in the fall and I'm not keepiing him no matter waht.

I wish to God I could term right now. Unfortunately, we only have my income right now and there is no way I can go without. I have a new one starting in the Fall to replace him, but can't do it now. I have to just suck it up unfortunately.

He hasn't brought any toys since the last time when another kid broke his frog. At least that stopped.
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  #9  
Old 06-10-2013, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
Oh you can bet your bottom that she'll be getting a call next time he does that crap. Not to mention that he just crapped his pants AGAIN! He's over 3 and refuses to go on the toilet, but yet she brings him in pullups. Well, he just got another kids diaper on him. How he's going to start preschool in September is beyond me because you have to be 100% potty trained to go there. Not my problem. I'm full in the fall and I'm not keepiing him no matter waht. .
Ewwww! Well, atleast he is in pull ups and not regular underwear...still...

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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
I wish to God I could term right now. Unfortunately, we only have my income right now and there is no way I can go without. I have a new one starting in the Fall to replace him, but can't do it now. I have to just suck it up unfortunately. .
Totally understood. You have my sympathies....I have BTDT too and keeping a kid because you HAVE to makes it even harder.

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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
He hasn't brought any toys since the last time when another kid broke his frog. At least that stopped.
LOL!! That's funny! Sometimes that is the only way for the toy bringer to "get it".
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  #10  
Old 06-10-2013, 07:38 AM
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Bc, there is no way this kid will be in regular underwear here. Unless there is a miracle haha! Pullups are so gross when they poop in them. Especially when he's so old and he's a big boy if ya get my drift. Ewwww haha!
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  #11  
Old 06-10-2013, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
Mom dropped off the little darling this morning and asked me if he was sick here last week. She said that he told her that he threw up. I said, no he put french fries in his mouth and proceeded to spit them up all over his plate. She laughed and said oh yea, he says that he's allergic to certain foods that he doesn't like. Oh and he had McDonalds yesterday with fries and she said that he ate those just fine, Again hahaha. I said he's had french fries here 100 times and never did that before. I'm thinking since she thinks it's so funny that next time he does that, I'm going to call her and tell her that he vomited so she has to come and get him. Who will be laughing then? All this time too she's laughing about it,he's standing right there.
I would very seriously ask mom "Why are you laughing? His behavior is distressing especially when I have other children to watch. It doesn't seem funny to me" and see what she says.

Also, I would have made him clean up all the throw up mess no matter how long it took.

Laurel
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Old 06-10-2013, 11:21 AM
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Just curious. Is he a just turned 3 year old or closer to 4?

Laurel
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  #13  
Old 06-10-2013, 11:26 AM
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Just curious. Is he a just turned 3 year old or closer to 4?

Laurel
I will definately say that to mom if it comes up again. I was thrown off guard this morning and I just gave her a look like I didn't find it funny at all. He turned 3 on the first of March. He is a very intelligent, very articulate little boy. He knows exactly what he's doing and what works. He is a master of manipulation.
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Old 06-17-2013, 03:15 PM
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I currently have a DCB just like him. So I feel for you! I have had him for only a month now. He is 3, will be 4 in Oct. He is not fully potty trained also. He goes #1 on the potty, but refuses to go #2 on the potty. So you know what his parents do...they told me that when he has to go #2 he will ask for a diaper and I am supposed to put in on so he can poop in it! Seriously.....you got to be kidding! I have told them that he needs to go on the potty for #2 as he will also be going to preschool in the fall. Well, so far he has not gone poppy here, he waits until he gets home and then they do the diaper thing for him! He wears normal underwear here during the day and then I put a pull up on for his nap, which they said to do,

Anyway he also hits the other daycare girl, will push her down if she gets in his way and doesn't want to listen to me, gets this frown on his face and will turn away and pout. I have repeatedly told his parents about his behavior and I have said that if he does this one more time, he will not be able to come here. Luckily they are parents that are easy to talk to and work with, so they told me to deal with him however I want to, they really could use my help as he does this at home to his sister also. So they are willing to work with me and together we are trying to deal with him and get him to stop this behavior.
It is coming along slow, but he seems to be getting a little better.

But as someone said, no amount of money is worth caring for a child like that. You only have a few months left with him, so I myself would term him anyway, and for you if there is any way possible to go without that income from him. Your sanity and the welfare of the other kids are more important.
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  #15  
Old 06-18-2013, 06:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Anyways though.....I would NOT in a million years put up with that kind of behavior. The second that child threw up (self-inflicted or not) I would have call for pick up and then excluded the following day.

As far as the toys go, I would confiscate them upon arrival and NOT give them back. Ever.
I agree with the vomiting. Call mom and let her clean it up and deal with it, AND exclude for the next day.
Toys, however, I deal with differently. Bring them if you want. HOWEVER, I will not be responsible. If it is lost, oh well, broken, oh well, etc, etc. I will not help look for it before you leave, and you WILL share, just like the toys here. They learn fairly quickly to leave them at home, or risk not getting them back again.
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