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  #1  
Old 09-09-2013, 08:50 PM
dadof2 dadof2 is offline
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Default 4 Year Old Wants Diapers New Baby In Home

Hi i am a dad of two and well me and my wife had a baby boy a month ago. well my 4 year old who is potty trained has been watching us change our 1 month olds diapers and he said he wanted to wear them and us to change him. I was wondering what i should do about this? i asked our daycare provider she suggested having him wear them for a while. she said if he did come wearing a diaper she would have to change him like any other child in the main room so she can keep am eye on the other kids. what do you guys think we should do?
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Old 09-09-2013, 09:48 PM
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SilverSabre25 SilverSabre25 is offline
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I think that what your 4 year old is REALLY expressing is a desire for some dedicated time and attention. Involve him in the baby's care (can you help me? Can you hold the package of wipes? Can you brig me a diaper? Can you pick out an outfit? just as examples). Find times to give him special Big Boy time with each parent. Talk to him about what he was like as a baby; make sure you have pictures around and tell him stories about him as a baby. tell him HIS birth story if he seems interested.

And don't put him back in diapers. next time it comes up explain to him that babies wear diapers because they are too little to use the potty. He's SO BIG now that he wears underwear. But acknowledge that maybe he's feeling jealous, like he wants the same attention the baby is getting. Offer to cuddle him like a baby, cradle him like a baby. Offer to rock with him like a baby. Tell him that you can't let him wear diapers because that wouldn't be good for him now that he's BIG.
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Old 09-09-2013, 09:56 PM
dadof2 dadof2 is offline
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ahh ok will try that how come i shouldnt put him in a diaper?
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Old 09-09-2013, 10:49 PM
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Its developmentally wrong., child is too old for diapers, what happens when he a
sks yo be breastfed too?
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
I think that what your 4 year old is REALLY expressing is a desire for some dedicated time and attention. Involve him in the baby's care (can you help me? Can you hold the package of wipes? Can you brig me a diaper? Can you pick out an outfit? just as examples). Find times to give him special Big Boy time with each parent. Talk to him about what he was like as a baby; make sure you have pictures around and tell him stories about him as a baby. tell him HIS birth story if he seems interested.

And don't put him back in diapers. next time it comes up explain to him that babies wear diapers because they are too little to use the potty. He's SO BIG now that he wears underwear. But acknowledge that maybe he's feeling jealous, like he wants the same attention the baby is getting. Offer to cuddle him like a baby, cradle him like a baby. Offer to rock with him like a baby. Tell him that you can't let him wear diapers because that wouldn't be good for him now that he's BIG.
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:58 AM
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Its developmentally wrong., child is too old for diapers, what happens when he a
sks yo be breastfed too?
Actually, I let all my older kids taste breastmilk (on a spoon) when they were older. They didn't ask again..
However, you are just begging for trouble putting him in diapers. He is young enough to not be overly embarrassed by them, but old enough to realize he would not need to stop playing and go inside to potty.
How about getting him a "baby" of his own, and little doll diapers so he can change the it himself.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:09 AM
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I agree don't allow him to be in diapers. However do start having convos at home in front of him but not too him about how your so excited because he doesn't wear diapers he can do things baby can't... Have a convo about how you can take him to the park for longer than the baby because he is so big and he is potty trained! Then go to the park together- it can even be simple things that he can do because he is BIG but baby can't because he is LITTLE...
He just wants to feel special and have attention - he has noticed babies need lots of changing! .
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:14 AM
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what the others said--it's just developmentally inappropriate and he's likely to regress too far. It's a disservice to him.

You could also try saying brightly, "okay! Let's put a diaper on you then." And grab a newborn diaper. Try to put it on him. "Gosh, sweetie, you are just too big! This diaper doesn't even fit! How silly!" and laugh with him (hopefully he's laughing). "You know what? I'm glad you don't fit in diapers. You are my big boy! And I would be sad if you were still little, because I like you being BIG! Now let's go have some ice cream and celebrate how BIG you are!"

You may want to be sure you are talking about how special and cute and sweet and smell-good he is, in equal amounts with how much you say that stuff about the baby. He should get a special Big Brother gift (if he hasn't already) that is something big boy he REALLY wants.

Sometimes you need to make the baby wait while you attend to big brother, just as big brother often waits while baby is attended to.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
what the others said--it's just developmentally inappropriate and he's likely to regress too far. It's a disservice to him.

You could also try saying brightly, "okay! Let's put a diaper on you then." And grab a newborn diaper. Try to put it on him. "Gosh, sweetie, you are just too big! This diaper doesn't even fit! How silly!" and laugh with him (hopefully he's laughing). "You know what? I'm glad you don't fit in diapers. You are my big boy! And I would be sad if you were still little, because I like you being BIG! Now let's go have some ice cream and celebrate how BIG you are!"

You may want to be sure you are talking about how special and cute and sweet and smell-good he is, in equal amounts with how much you say that stuff about the baby. He should get a special Big Brother gift (if he hasn't already) that is something big boy he REALLY wants.

Sometimes you need to make the baby wait while you attend to big brother, just as big brother often waits while baby is attended to.
Yes!

If you are doing something with him, and baby starts to cry, it's ok to say loudly to baby "Hey, baby, I will be there in a minute. I am helping big brother now". You might even want to anticipate those situations and create them...so that baby doesn't really have to wait too long.

A lot of good ideas for you here...
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Old 09-10-2013, 10:35 AM
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1. What would your mom/dad have said to you if you wanted to go back into diapers at four years old???

2. What will your answer be when at 14 he decides he wants to drive the family car to the corner store while you are asleep????

The ground work starts here...

I know it seems far off... it is not. I blinked and my baby boys were in high school. It is cumulative and fast.
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  #11  
Old 09-10-2013, 10:41 AM
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My 2 year old son is potty trained and he wanted to wear diapers when 3 babies enrolled in my daycare. I asked him if he wanted to pretend he was a baby and and he said yes. So I put a diaper in top of his clothes and I pretended I was changing his diaper, but I told him first that it was just pretending he was a baby that he should not pee in that diaper. He played the same game in another 2 occasions and then moved on. It seems they just want to pretend and reenact what is going on around.
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