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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Should I Charge Them to Replace It?
AfterSchoolMom 03:49 AM 12-01-2010
One of my AS kids borrowed my child's watch yesterday, then lost it outside. We can't find it anywhere, and it rained all night long last night. It wasn't a nice watch, but it was one that my child has owned for five years and was special to him. He's not horribly upset, but I am mad.

I didn't have time to address it with Mom yesterday at PU because we had to be somewhere in a hurry. Should I say something today, and would you ask them to pay to replace it? The value is probably only about ten dollars, but it is in my contract that they are responsible for repairing/replacing damaged items.
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laundrymom 03:59 AM 12-01-2010
I wouldnt. This is why I only let kids play with things that aren't special. Sounds cold to say it out loud but after losing things due to other kids mistakes over and over...... We adopted this policy. I wouldnt ask for payment unless it was something like a window or a tv but even then I would consider it part of the territory of having other peoples kids in my home. And give them the option of replacing it even tho my policy states they do. If I am actively supervising them most things would be my fault anyway. Here I don't keep many school avers but the ones I do have the same rules as the babies. They stay in The same room with me.
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AfterSchoolMom 04:08 AM 12-01-2010
You're right - I shouldn't have allowed it to happen in the first place. I'm thinking about making him look for it this afternoon until he finds it, rain or no rain (not that I'll make him look in the rain, that has stopped! lol). Even if it's broken, I think he needs to take responsibility for losing it. Is that too harsh?
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laundrymom 04:17 AM 12-01-2010
I think that's a great idea. After allhitting it with the mower would be bas and if parents find out and make comment as to asking why.... You could wzplain u let him borrow your sons watch and he lost it it was ruined and you wanted it found prior to mowing to prevent further expenses. They may offer to replace.
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laundrymom 04:19 AM 12-01-2010
And seriously I'm tired of spell correct on this iPad! Lol
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BentleysBands 04:22 AM 12-01-2010
thats a tough one...i do think he needs to be held accountable. how old are we talking?

i had a similar type issue yesterday with a 3yr DCB...he ripped/shredded up a nice flap book. He knows better. I mentioned it to mom at p/u , i didnt charge her for it but did let her know that dcb will no longer be able to read books by himself. it broke his heart . i treasure books for kids and she knows this.

i did charge a mom once for a new PSP . her son who was suppose to be napping snuck off his mat (was on my sons floor since he coulddnt behave in the dcroom) and broke and took apart my sons PSP ....i called her immediately and told her what he did. she knew where he had to nap so she coudlnt pull the 'i wasnt watching him' kwim? needless to say she wasnt happy but she paid the $200 and then i termed a month later

sorry to hyjack your thread...i would mention to the mom and see how she reacts maybe? normally i charge for anything over $10
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AfterSchoolMom 04:41 AM 12-01-2010
Wow! If it had been his DS or something expensive like a PSP, you can bet I'd be charging them!

This child is 8. He knows better.
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Live and Learn 07:03 AM 12-01-2010
After school mom....Ok...this might come out sounding a little grumpy but you either knew he had on your son's watch and didn't ask him to take it off or you were not watching him when he put it on. Either way I wouldn't charge the parents....let it slide.
Bentley bands....in your post about the three year old tearing up a book you said "you walked into the room" and found him doing this. Personally I think if you leave a three year old out of your sight you are lucky if the only thing that has happened is that he ripped up a book. That sounds potentionaly dangerous.
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BentleysBands 07:31 AM 12-01-2010
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
Bentley bands....in your post about the three year old tearing up a book you said "you walked into the room" and found him doing this. Personally I think if you leave a three year old out of your sight you are lucky if the only thing that has happened is that he ripped up a book. That sounds potentionaly dangerous.
dont you go to the bathroom? ever go lay a baby down? cook? sorry, i dont have eyes everywhere 24/7 ...
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marniewon 07:40 AM 12-01-2010
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
dont you go to the bathroom? ever go lay a baby down? cook? sorry, i dont have eyes everywhere 24/7 ...
I agree - we can't see everything. And 3 yo is old enough to know better!! You should be able to trust a 3 yo alone for a few minutes. I have a 2 year old and 2 1/2 year old here that are both trustworthy enough to leave if I have to potty or change a diaper or start lunch.
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Luna 07:57 AM 12-01-2010
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
dont you go to the bathroom? ever go lay a baby down? cook? sorry, i dont have eyes everywhere 24/7 ...
So true...no one can be expected to have eyes on even one child ALL the time, never mind multiple children! We have to do so many things that demand our attention, it's impossible. Answer the phone, put something in the garbage, break up a fight, put on a bandaid, change a diaper...
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BentleysBands 08:04 AM 12-01-2010
Originally Posted by Luna:
So true...no one can be expected to have eyes on even one child ALL the time, never mind multiple children! We have to do so many things that demand our attention, it's impossible. Answer the phone, put something in the garbage, break up a fight, put on a bandaid, change a diaper...
u answer the phone?!
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Blackcat31 08:14 AM 12-01-2010
I'm just wondering how old your own son is? Did he borrow the watch out to the 8 yr SA kid or did the SA kid ask him for it? Just asking because all of that would make a difference to me in deciding what to do. I have an 8 yr SA boy and he is forever manipulating the younger kids to give stuff to him etc. If your son is the same age, then maybe he should be talked to about what things he is allowed and not allowed to borrow out to others and he should understand that he can say no and things can happen when he borrows stuff out etc. My own kids were never allowed to borrow anything out unless they basically didn't care about it because that kind of stuff does happen. My own ds borrowed out a Gameboy game in 3rd grade and other kid lost it. My son knew the rules and was outta luck. The other boy was nice enough to offer one up in trade so it was ok. Anyways, the point I was making was everyone needs to understand the rules about borrowing before anything can really be done...kwim.
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AfterSchoolMom 09:02 AM 12-01-2010
I didn't know that he had the watch until after the fact - when he came up to me and told me that he'd lost it. My own child is a year younger than this one. You're right in that I should just have a discussion with my own kids about what is and is not appropriate for play/lending.

Also, just for the record, my regular group of kids are 7, 8 (x2) 10, and 11, so I don't really feel the need to keep my eyes literally on them at all times while they're here, though we do all stay in the same three rooms in my house. It's different when I have younger ones here! If I sat and stared at them all afternoon, it would probably creep them out.
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laundrymom 09:08 AM 12-01-2010
lol,.. I didnt know you weer mostly bigger kids. lol. ok, so he took it without asking?? thats different. Yes, he stole it from your son and left it outside and ruined it., he should either do extra chores at your house,... (think organizing bookshelves, or helping your son straighten his room,.. or replace the watch with his own money and his parents should be told.


Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
I didn't know that he had the watch until after the fact - when he came up to me and told me that he'd lost it. My own child is a year younger than this one. You're right in that I should just have a discussion with my own kids about what is and is not appropriate for play/lending.

Also, just for the record, my regular group of kids are 7, 8 (x2) 10, and 11, so I don't really feel the need to keep my eyes literally on them at all times while they're here, though we do all stay in the same three rooms in my house. It's different when I have younger ones here! If I sat and stared at them all afternoon, it would probably creep them out.

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AfterSchoolMom 09:15 AM 12-01-2010
Yep, mostly school agers right now, but about 1-2 times per week I have a couple of families with younger children that bring them on a drop in basis during school hours. Those kids are 2 months, 1yr, 2yrs, and 3yrs. It works out well so that they don't overlap, and still gives me several days per week to get things done.
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TGT09 09:17 AM 12-01-2010
I think he's old enough for the consequence of having to look for it. Other than that, I think that's all "I" would personally do. If it was a top dollar item then I would think about telling parents and if the circumstances were different. Nor do I think you were in the wrong for not having them in eyesight all the time but it's just part of the "daycare game". I have more SA's than toddlers and trust me, I don't always have my eyesight on them either. Not to mention, I have trustworthy toddlers that I'll run upstairs to do something (5 minutes max). I'm still within ear shot and I do not feel guilty in the least about it. All my parents know I "live" upstairs and the daycare is downstairs, all are alright with that!

ETA: I would also use this as a "learning game" for YOUR child so that he knows better than to loan out special items.
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booroo 09:32 AM 12-01-2010
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
After school mom....Ok...this might come out sounding a little grumpy but you either knew he had on your son's watch and didn't ask him to take it off or you were not watching him when he put it on. Either way I wouldn't charge the parents....let it slide.
Bentley bands....in your post about the three year old tearing up a book you said "you walked into the room" and found him doing this. Personally I think if you leave a three year old out of your sight you are lucky if the only thing that has happened is that he ripped up a book. That sounds potentionaly dangerous.
WOW you must wear depends all day, and those kids must starve... either that or the kids are on lock down when you have to cook, potty, tend to a baby....

Here is what I would... I think one of the posters hit it.. When they said that he should have to look for it, and he should have to do some work around the house.... I would also mention it too mom.... She does need to know.... as for replacing it, make him work it off...
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Live and Learn 09:32 AM 12-01-2010
Afterschool mom...sorry I didn't realize the dck was 8 years old and older than your son. That makes a big difference.
we had to make a rule with our own children that they should only loan something out to friends if they never wanted to see that something again.
then if it never is seen again "so sad too bad". My own kids can be generous to a fault and so many of their items were being lent out and then lost or broken. ....I think that I would still let this watch matter slide as far as asking the parents to pay and make this an opportunity to talk with the dck and your own about borrowing and what your rules are. I think that the logical thing to do is ask that the dck go look for the watch...your son might even offer to help....I find that my sa kids really like to help look for missing items... a type of hide and seek!...you could say something like "Bobby lost Billy's watch yesterday and he is going outside to look for it. Would any of you be willing to help him search for it?" That almost always works for me. Then when they come back inside offer them each a small treat. And remember...at least he was honest enough to admit that he lost it. Some kids would just deny the hold thing.
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AfterSchoolMom 12:01 PM 12-01-2010
Originally Posted by :
And remember...at least he was honest enough to admit that he lost it. Some kids would just deny the hold thing.
Very true!
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