DHS came by today to follow up on the reports they had about my mental status. Requesting authority to speak with my doctor about my mental health and ability to watch children. They gave me the option of shutting down till they are done investigating. I went ahead and agreed because this is my income and i want to help prove to them i am good. Im hurt and betrayed by whichever so called friend or family on my FB reported posts to them about me. It could be anyone, i have lots of friends including other daycare workers in the area. So i closed down my FB as well and am closing down my daycare now too. Hopefully i can reopen, course it wont matter since im sure this is going to chase my daycare parents away real quick

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That is awful! Take care of your self. I'll be thinking of you.

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Unbelievable! I am so sorry to read this. (((Hugs))) ENJOY your time off, even if it is forced, and we will be praying for you.

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Means i have to find alternative care for the little boy i watch. They said i can keep watching my niece since she is family. Which makes no sense but ill take it for what i can. Either way it hurts my ability to get more kids in the future. I cannot trust anyone now.

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Sorry this is happening to you. Hopefully it will all work out in the end and you can get back to daycare

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Do you think someone did this maliciously, or do you think they were just concerned about you?

I am so sorry this kind of thing happened!

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someone hates me enough that is obvious

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Geez, this is horrible. I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you and hope you can reopen soon.

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Dave what kind of post(s) did you put on facebook?

I mean, what would have constituted an actual mental health clearance?

That stinks that you are going through this, but to be honest you DO sound depressed and stressed out. I hope you can see this as a positive. A break for you, a chance to re-open with new kids/families and a chance to prove to DHS that you are a good provider!

Best of luck!

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I'm sorry you are going through this Dave. I think that social media has become a seriously wicked tool over time, in so many different ways - I find it isn't being used the way it was initially intended and it often does more harm than good.

I do have to say that as childcare providers, we are mandated reporters. If I had a friend who was a provider and talking about being depressed on a public forum I might report them as well. Not for any other reason that to ensure the safety of both the providers and the children in their care. The person who reported you might not have understood the depth of your depression or the context of your post.

As someone who has suffered from depression in the past and lived with others who suffer from depression I know that it can lead to alot of dangerous or potentially dangerous situations - especially if a child is involved. Perhaps the person who made the report had similar experiences, and was was concerned about your wellbeing, and the wellbeing of those you look after.

I think it's likely you will never know who made the report - but it might be best for you if you look at this whole situation from another perspective and not assume that someone was trying to hurt you or your business.

I think EVERYONE deals with some form of depression at one time or another in their lives... if you are honest about the situation, that it was blown out of proportion because you expressed sadness over missing family, etc that many people will understand and not immediately condemn you... and if they do, so be it, you don't need people like that in your life/business.

Good luck, Dave!

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I have no problem with people showing concern. But my family and friends, even my Pastor friends have never once seen any post on FB and thought, oh know i should be worried about David. As far as things go it could be anyone, even someone who has a daycare in town, this has happened before. My life is my kids so there is never a moment when i would want anything else other then the best for them

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I understand. You said you have other daycare providers on your FB, so if they are just acquaintances it could have been one of them. Sometimes I say things and my family or friends would take it much differently that a simple acquaintance, kwim? It's really hard to gauge someone's words/actions when we don't personally know them very well.

Take care!

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Thats just what i said. You cannot measure someones day by a post anywhere. Even here i am venting most of the time and turning around and singing songs with the kids and dancing around to make them laugh. Its just how it works

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I am sorry to hear of your issues.

I have said it before and I will say it again....if it is not something you want the WORLD to know, don't post it on the internet....ANYWHERE.

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Dave - You have to know though that people don't know that you are singing and dancing while you are venting or talking about how depressed you feel. It is about balancing what you post.

Also, what if there was someone posting like you do but no one reported it and that person did snap. I'm not saying you will but what if... I think sometimes we err on the side of caution.

As someone else said, maybe this is just what you need right now.

This is coming from someone who quit daycare 6 years ago because I knew it was time to take care of myself and my depression. I've done that and keep doing it and I'm back to daycare. I love it now. I'm ok working my daycare and working my weekend job. I wasn't there 6 years ago. I sounded a lot like you.

I think if you work on it you'll come back stronger.

K

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I agree.

Perhaps, Dave, this is really a blessing in disguise?

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((hugs)) Sorry you're going through this.

Take this as a sign that you need to regroup and relax for a bit...focus on your kids and your family, and then once all is clear you can reopen and go about it refreshed and ready to go again.

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I am truly sorry to hear this Dave. I'm so sorry. My husband, as a fellow male child care worker and owner, sends his sympathies. THE FIELD OF ECE NEEDS A FEW GOOD MEN !

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Just think of it as a future for the lession. If it is something you wouldn't say to your daycare business don't post it on FB. Unfortunatly, espesually in small towns, this job (as well as any job with children or business) is all about image. You have to make sure that you are dignified but not stuffy, that you are tough but fair, that you can hold a professional image for the parents but still be goofy for the kids and that you don't crack under the pressure when the parents (and even the kids) can see you or they will eat you alive! In this economy, family child care (all daycare for that matter) has become a blood sport!- who can provide the best care for less, who has more flexible hours, who has the most expierience/education, etc.

Too bad fixed pricing is illegal because IK a lot of providers in my small town who say that a lot of SAHMs who don't need to make an income keep undercutting everyone else and it makes it hard for anyone to get kids.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you can get things worked out.

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This is terrible! I truly hope that you are able to use this time to your families benefit & be able to enjoy it, even just a little bit. Use this time as quality time with the twins & your wife. Relax, regroup,& rejoice in the blessings you do have! Try to remember there is always someone who is worse off than you. Best wishes! Hope you stick around here!

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this just bites.... so all you need is a letter from your dr??? will that be enough

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What a terrible situation! I am outraged for you. Hope you can get through this and come out better on the other side.

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I am sorry to hear this because I know the lack of income will be stressful but this honestly sounds like the best thing for you, Dave. Your posts here have become increasingly more sensitive in nature, concerning your frame of mind, and I think you need this break to get yourself together.

I hope you can reopen, or find a situation that works better for your family. Having followed your story for more than a year now, I see a common theme of being dissatisfied and unhappy in all your posts. I sincerely hope that you can see this as a positive for you, your children, your wife and your daycare children.

All the best.

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I'm so sorry. This is every daycare's nightmare. Praying for you and your situation!

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When women express their feelings and emotions they call it PMS. When men do it, its called a mental depression disorder!

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I had a somewhat similar situation, there is a small yet full sized Daycare center near me and I know people from the neighborhood that work there. I think one let it slip that I babysit, and since they all walk past my house to go to the deli on their lunches, I was getting the "stinkeye" for about a month. Next thing I know I have the police at my door saying someone called in saying I was abusing the kids! That screaming was reported. I only had my 2 angels here that day, so I invited the officer in to see (not something I would normally suggest, but I was super confident that this was the best way to go).
He saw a 4 and 5 year old brother and sister sitting quietly on the couch watching sponge bob and giggling. I asked "does anything look out of order here?" he said no.. I told the kids to say hi to officer ---- (bc we have 5 cops in my town and I know them all) and he asked them how they were. They said good and so the cop was on his way. I took him outside, told him about the attitude from the local DCC and he laughed and left.
But for a bit there I was both scared to death and furious!

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Wow, so sorry! If it makes you feel any better (it probably won't) I had to get a mental health exam from my doctor...although, my state requires it. I do agree with some posters, you really have to watch what you say on social media sites because people can easily misconstru (sp?) what you say and turn it into something you totally didn't mean, you can't see that persons expression or hear their tone of voice by reading typed words. Or they feel the need to be immature and turn you in because they don't like you or use what you have said with or without knowing the context as "proof" and know that someone on the outside will think you have said something one way . It's so immature, sounds like High School BS. It's people like that that make me think twice about opening up my home daycare! I mean, what do you do? Some of us can't always have other people there to watch our backs and vouch for us if someone says something happened. Sorry I'm getting off track! Anyways good luck and I feel for you. And I agree...Daycare does need more male providers! I worked in a center and we had a couple of male teachers and the kids really bonded with them! Boys and girls alike!

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It is hard to respond to this because I feel like I don't have all the information of what is actually going on.

My thoughts to your post have always been its like pulling teeth to understand what you are trying to get at and say or have understood. I chalk it up to you either struggle to type it all out and or try not to come across as a gossip. I could be way off- but this is how I have felt about your postings in the past. I feel I have tried to give you good information to help you further your business and be the best provider you can be, encouraging you along the way as a man in this field.

Wish you the best-

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I'm so sorry for you Dave.
Hang in there.

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Still waiting to hear from the DHS about the whole issue with the complaint. Seems like they are just sitting on it as long as possible. Makes me wonder if they have something against guys as daycare owners. I have been getting calls about my daycare and all i can tell people is i will have openings after the first of the year, providing the DHS decides this whole thing is crazy and i am perfectly fine . Funny thing is i have been in a great mood the last couple weeks. Mostly cause my parents were here for a week and my sister will be here next week. SO lots to be happy about

I am still able to watch family so nothing has changed much there. My niece and her step cousin are still here. However his aunt had a change of hours and now only needs me three days out of the week from 2-6. and can only pay 15$ a day....there is a daycare near her work that said they would charge her that much i guess. So ill keep him even at that reduction unless i can fill my spots. I have two people to call back, one is a girl i know and her daugther is 5. The other is a 14 month old baby, i have not mom yet.

So that is pretty much where i am at now. My doctor gave the DHS a note saying i am not being treated for depression or anything else of that sort. And told me if they have any questions to have them make an appointment so he can bill them! Yeah he gets the completely absurdity of this mess. SO hopefully DHS will allow me to get back to work here... i might just call them and tell them i have to reopen since i am getting calls finally about people interested.

I closed my FB account and will no longer be venting here either. Not that i have trust issues but seriously you all are great. Thank you

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I hate to say this, but they definitely take their sweet time. We had a complaint come in in June, we chose not to take the voluntary shut-down, but it still took 6 months for everything to be finalized. They are supposed to take 60 days max.

Now, I would hope since you took the voluntary shut down, that they would hurry since your income was compromised. But OKDHS can sure take their sweet time.

I really hope that they finish with this ridiculousness as soon as possible.

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Im going to call them this week and tell them i need to open back up since i am getting people interested. I have gone months without a call and suddenly i am getting some.

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My nasty nieghbor calls DCFS on me all the time. They had to stop taking complaints without a name. I told them I would sue them personally for harassment if they couldn't give me the name of the complainer. I haven't seen them in months! Mind you they was out here every month almost for a year. Good luck dude!

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