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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Kids with No Shoes... Advice??
KTsKids 06:49 PM 05-11-2016
I'm new on here, I apologize if this has been addressed already. I've got a DCB, just turned 3, who typically gets here between 5am and 6am and arrives in pj's and slippers or pj's with feet. Mom has been consistently forgetting to pack a pair of sneakers with his clothes for the day.... CLEARLY this becomes an issue when it's time for outdoor play. I've tried explaining to her that it not only prevents him from going out, but all the children because I can't supervise him inside while supervising them outside. A few months back I gave up and purchased a cheap pair of sneakers for DCB to wear while here.

DCB is starting to outgrow the pair I bought him so I once again started asking mom to bring sneakers, which she has not done more than two or three times in the last two weeks. I could take the high road and drop 10 bucks on a bigger pair, however I feel like I'm setting a bad precedence (I have literally no backbone). I know it sounds like a relatively insignificant issue, but for some reason it's really been bugging me. What would you do... but more shoes for DCB? Would it be to extreme to refuse to take him when she shows up with no sneakers?
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Thriftylady 06:55 PM 05-11-2016
I still have a weak backbone, but can tell you if you are going to survive in this business, you have to start growing one! If you don't put a stop to this, it will not only continue but probably grow worse with other things. Not meant to be harsh at all.

In the morning at drop off ask "does he have shoes in his bag today?". When she says "oh I forgot" say "well you are going to have to take him with you to get a pair". You will only have to do this once. But be sure you do it.
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Unregistered 07:35 PM 05-11-2016
Buy a pair. Charge her 5 dollars a day for shoe rental. Continue to charge her for shoe rental everytime she forgets. Have her sign off on the rental form too.
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MunchkinWrangler 07:48 PM 05-11-2016
I like the rental idea! But I agree with Thrifty. I am horrible with backbone too. I get caught off guard and my mind goes blank. I would do exactly what she said to do. She is the parent, not you.

It was a very nice gesture to buy him shoes. Unfortunately, without mom knowing this and without you saying this is an issue, mom has come to expect that you will just take care of it. Make it unacceptable and remind her that it is a basic responsibility of having a child. Also, I know you didn't really mention the pj thing but I would request he show up ready for the day. If it's not a big deal to you, no problem but that would bother me also.
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Ariana 10:02 PM 05-11-2016
When she brings the shoes, keep them at your house. Put him back in his pjs at the end of the day and hand him back to her. Start looking for a replacement child.
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NillaWafers 10:18 PM 05-11-2016
I'd be calling for pickup if he couldn't participate. Pickup or bring his gosh darn shoes! I like the rent idea, money is a universal language.
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childcaremom 03:52 AM 05-12-2016
My policy is that a child who isn't prepared for the day does not stay. I would turn away at the door. Alternatively, if I don't realize that they are missing something until outdoor time, I call for pick up and they have one hour to come and get their child.

You should only have to do this once for dcm to 'get it'. (although I did it about 5 times with a former dcf ) I would send home a note tonight that this is the plan. I would verbally tell mom to read the note in the bag concerning outdoor wear. Strap on that backbone for tomorrow morning. It gets easier the more you use it!

All of my dcfs currently leave items here for their kids. It saves them from forgetting items.
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JackandJill 04:00 AM 05-12-2016
I had a similiar situation this winter with snow boots. It only took turning mom away at the door once to stop the "forgetfulness"!

I asked her before she even got down the stairs if she remembered the boots, she said no. I said (with a nice big smile) that she would have to take dcb back and get his boots before they could come play.

You can do it!
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Unregistered 04:24 AM 05-12-2016
Especially since she can't take the time to make sure her child has what he needs for the day, I'd be telling her starting immediately dcb needs to come dressed and ready for the day. It is a nice gesture to buy the shoes but what if someone consistently forgets something else? Shirt, pants, socks, diapers, etc...these things can get out of hand quickly
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lovemydaycare0912 04:38 AM 05-12-2016
I would turn away at the door. No shoes, no stay. Its a hazard. If licensing came, they would try to cite for it. Tell her to bring a pair to leave with you, or bring some everyday. A parent of mine gave me some I could keep here.
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Mike 04:53 AM 05-12-2016
Tell her he can't be dropped off without shoes, but let her know that ahead of time. That way if she shows tomorrow without shoes, you can say, "sorry, you have to get shoes first", and she can't say she wasn't warned.
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Cat Herder 05:04 AM 05-12-2016
I keep a supply of shoes here because it is a regulation that every child have shoes. It prevents a parents lapse from costing me $ and a citation on my record. I excised the parents ability to mess with my day at all. They can literally bring me a naked, dirty, hungry kid every day and it would change nothing in my day other than a quick phone call to DHS . Sad, really. Not sure how that speaks to my level of trust, but there you go.

Now, I would have no problem turning them away at the door to go get some shoes. Like unregistered stated; make them come dressed for the day. You gave them a chance, they blew it. Simple.
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VWMom 06:44 AM 05-12-2016
You could be a real hard ass and insist she take her son with her to buy shoes at 5 am some morning, but is that the bridge you want to die on? Sometimes parents forget. Sometimes shoes at 5 am is the last thing on their mind. Sometimes parents are just unconcerned. Whatever the reason...to me the fight isn't worth it. I have a couple pair of kids flip flops. They are .97 at Walmart. Problem solved for under $2
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Thriftylady 06:49 AM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by VWMom:
You could be a real hard ass and insist she take her son with her to buy shoes at 5 am some morning, but is that the bridge you want to die on? Sometimes parents forget. Sometimes shoes at 5 am is the last thing on their mind. Sometimes parents are just unconcerned. Whatever the reason...to me the fight isn't worth it. I have a couple pair of kids flip flops. They are .97 at Walmart. Problem solved for under $2
I wouldn't do this because I don't allow flip flops in daycare, they are a huge liability. And this isn't a situation where the parent has forgotten once, this is happening day after day. The parent is not following policy of the OP. As providers we have policies in place for a reason.
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VWMom 06:57 AM 05-12-2016
liability? Flip flops in a grassy yard? Jeez! I've been in business for 27 years. Never had a child even require stitches on my watch-so they must not be too freaking dangerous. Also, OP never stated anything about a policy including the child's expected dress for the day.
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Thriftylady 07:03 AM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by VWMom:
liability? Flip flops in a grassy yard? Jeez! I've been in business for 27 years. Never had a child even require stitches on my watch-so they must not be too freaking dangerous. Also, OP never stated anything about a policy including the child's expected dress for the day.
Have you tried to run and climb in flip flops? They are an accident looking for a place to happen IMHO. Then you have the factor with a lot of kids who just won't leave them on. The OP says she has asked the mom more than once for shoes. When you are asking for them, that constitutes a policy. If she didn't want the shoes she wouldn't be asking for them. Making sure a child is prepared for the day is the responsibility of the parent. One that many of us refuse to take on. The point is, the OP wants the parent to bring shoes, so she needs to make sure the parent understands and does it. Daycare is not like a menu from a restaurant where you pick and choose what your provider provides as goods and services, the provider decides that.
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permanentvacation 07:37 AM 05-12-2016
The child should not be coming to daycare dressed for bed. Yes, he/she's arriving early, but he is arriving for the DAY. You need to require that the parent get the child up, dressed for the day, have his teeth brushed, and hair brushed and new diaper/pull-up (if applies) on for the morning. And of course, when a child is dressed and ready to leave their house, they have shoes on!

If he/she is still tired in the morning and you want to lay him/her down until the other children arrive, the child can take a morning nap while completely dressed just like he/she can in the afternoon.
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Snowmom 07:52 AM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by VWMom:
You could be a real hard ass and insist she take her son with her to buy shoes at 5 am some morning, but is that the bridge you want to die on? Sometimes parents forget. Sometimes shoes at 5 am is the last thing on their mind. Sometimes parents are just unconcerned. Whatever the reason...to me the fight isn't worth it. I have a couple pair of kids flip flops. They are .97 at Walmart. Problem solved for under $2
IMHO, I don't consider holding parents accountable for what their child needs being "a hard ass".
If they were just forgetful maybe once or twice, it most likely wouldn't be an issue to seek out advice on. Forgetting them nearly everyday = a problem.

I don't allow flip flops as well. We are an active bunch and the kids need to come prepared to play hard every single day. That requires sturdy, comfortable, well fitting shoes. But, that's my own policy... if you're comfortable with the .99 flip flops, then charge the parents .99 cents and go buy flip flops. Or write up an invoice for sturdy shoes you will buy to keep at daycare, have the parent sign it and charge them the $ for it.

If I had a parent ignoring my policy on supplying their child with the tools they need here, they would be sent home to retrieve the items. I just don't have the space to supply 10+ pairs of shoes/coats/boots/mittens, etc. Although I know many providers who DO go that route.
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Pepperth 08:05 AM 05-12-2016
I'd probably ask her to buy a cheap pair of shoes to leave at your house.
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MunchkinWrangler 08:21 AM 05-12-2016
I'm sorry but what responsible parent takes their kid out of the house without shoes? Would dcm forget her shoes? Doubt it. To me "forgetting " shoes for your child is neglect. And anything else they need for that matter. Does she "forget" to feed him, change him, bathe him? I wouldn't doubt it, she can't even get him out of pj's. SMH!
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Blackcat31 08:22 AM 05-12-2016
I AM a hard a$$ (if that's what some want to call it) and I do NOT enable parents by supplying items I require for them.

Forgetting shoes once in a while at 5 am is completely understandable but forgetting on a daily basis IS lazy and not something I would be okay with.

ALL parents have the same 24 hours in a day and if they can't remember to have their child's basic needs met, then perhaps it's time for a realignment of priorities.

As for flip flops and other open toed type shoes being a liability......ABSOLUTELY they are! Kids now days don't spend nearly the same amount of time outside as in the past so their running, climbing and jumping skills are definitely lessor or below average so I prefer they all have well fitting, closed toe shoes on that do not hinder them or cause them to trip and fall on MY watch. So yes, a HUGE liability.

I would either send mom a reminder text the night before or I would buy shoes myself and charge her for them.

I would be more inclined to have mom buy a pair of shoes and LEAVE them at care.
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nannyde 08:31 AM 05-12-2016
https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ighlight=shoes
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rosieteddy 08:54 AM 05-12-2016
At 3 years old I would require the child dressed and ready for the day.I would send a note today Friday and insist on fully dressed shoes ect every morning.If he is laying down on arrival take shoes off just like nap. This way you do not have to deal with it.
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KTsKids 09:02 AM 05-12-2016
So it sounds like the consensus is that I should let her know that from now on if he arrives without proper shoes she will be sent to the store/home, with dcb, to get a pair. That's kind of what I was leaning towards but wanted to make sure I wasn't being to harsh. Knowing so many of you agree makes me feel a lot better about having the conversation with her, thank you!! I like the rental idea too... Money certainly does speak so after charging her a few times she's probably get the idea! It's just one more thing for me to keep up with though. Bringing shoes just seems like such a basic thing to remember!

As for the PJ's, he does go back to bed soon as he arrives so I've always let it slide. I also offer overnight care so when my overnighters wake up I've got to get them dressed and ready for the day anyway. Otherwise I can see it being more of an issue.
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MotherNature 09:24 AM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
The child should not be coming to daycare dressed for bed. Yes, he/she's arriving early, but he is arriving for the DAY. You need to require that the parent get the child up, dressed for the day, have his teeth brushed, and hair brushed and new diaper/pull-up (if applies) on for the morning. And of course, when a child is dressed and ready to leave their house, they have shoes on!

If he/she is still tired in the morning and you want to lay him/her down until the other children arrive, the child can take a morning nap while completely dressed just like he/she can in the afternoon.
All of this. No PJs at daycare, unless it's a special pajama day or something. Put it all back on mom.
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daycarediva 09:44 AM 05-12-2016
Send home a note with a checklist, you could do it for just him or ALL kids in care. On the checklist I would state that I REQUIRE that the items be brought IN by X day and LEFT in his cubby (or brought in daily). Put a warning on there that not having the supplies every day would be X consequence (turning away at the door, call for pickup, charge of X).

I supply almost everything and require that parents pay for it. In fall they send in $50/child and I get snowboots, snow pants, hats and gloves. In summer they send in $50 and I get a bathing suit, towel, water bottle and water shoes. I JUST added spring to this- another $50, raincoat and rain boots!

I also supply sunscreen- covered in my annual supply fee.

I also supply nap items- covered in my registration fee.

Everybody has the same (except I color coordinate). Everybody has good quality items (no $1 store gloves, dress boots, water bottles that melt in the dishwasher, too small bathing suits, etc).

I got sick of asking, getting annoyed without supplies. I was sick of turning people away. I was annoyed with cheap supplies when they FINALLY brought them in. I was annoyed at having to explain what appropriate winter clothing was needed for outdoor play to parents.

Now I just charge 'em, and the kids get what they need.

*eta* everything I can buy neutral, I do. I do NOT buy characters. I buy off season and on sale. I buy many in multiple sizes. I no longer have to buy snowpants, boots, hats, gloves, towels. I just prestocked up on spring boots and rain coats. I am at the point where I make money off of this and only buy what is worn or something I don't have that size of.
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 09:58 AM 05-12-2016
I would require mom to bring me in a pair of tennis shoes by Monday to remain at my house. If an item cannot be remembered (coat etc) I need a second here at my house to stay here.
Now, I do keep rainboots here and kido would have been in those in the meantime.
I require winter boots, snowpants etc be here at my house all winter and generally parents just pass them on. So one year I may have boots for little suzi and the next year mom needs to supply and then they leave them for someone else.
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renodeb 09:59 AM 05-12-2016
I have a clause in my contract that says if I have to buy any of the required items (and there listed in the contract) then I will attach the cost to the next bill. It's a great deterrent and trust me they wont do it more than once. I have a very small back bone to but this could turn into a long standing issue. I would change your contract or add that you have the right to turn a child away if they proper supplies aren't present.
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Hunni Bee 11:21 AM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Send home a note with a checklist, you could do it for just him or ALL kids in care. On the checklist I would state that I REQUIRE that the items be brought IN by X day and LEFT in his cubby (or brought in daily). Put a warning on there that not having the supplies every day would be X consequence (turning away at the door, call for pickup, charge of X).

I supply almost everything and require that parents pay for it. In fall they send in $50/child and I get snowboots, snow pants, hats and gloves. In summer they send in $50 and I get a bathing suit, towel, water bottle and water shoes. I JUST added spring to this- another $50, raincoat and rain boots!

I also supply sunscreen- covered in my annual supply fee.

I also supply nap items- covered in my registration fee.

Everybody has the same (except I color coordinate). Everybody has good quality items (no $1 store gloves, dress boots, water bottles that melt in the dishwasher, too small bathing suits, etc).

I got sick of asking, getting annoyed without supplies. I was sick of turning people away. I was annoyed with cheap supplies when they FINALLY brought them in. I was annoyed at having to explain what appropriate winter clothing was needed for outdoor play to parents.

Now I just charge 'em, and the kids get what they need.

*eta* everything I can buy neutral, I do. I do NOT buy characters. I buy off season and on sale. I buy many in multiple sizes. I no longer have to buy snowpants, boots, hats, gloves, towels. I just prestocked up on spring boots and rain coats. I am at the point where I make money off of this and only buy what is worn or something I don't have that size of.
This is how I want to be set up. . Zero hassle.

I had something similar to this at my old job. I went to yard sales, thrift stores, trolled for donations, etc. I go to my extras box and pull anything I needed most times. Until people started considering it donations to their child's wardrobe instead of sending them back.
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Thriftylady 11:31 AM 05-12-2016
I so wish I had the space to require parents to leave a set of everything, or pay a fee and I buy it. But I just don't have the space for that. I would love, love, love it though!
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thrivingchildcarecom 12:17 PM 05-12-2016
You know what not only is it an issue for outside play, but what if there was an emergency and you needed to relocate. Would he be walking down the street barefoot? I even think that we are legally supposed to require the children to keep shoes on all the time for that very reason.

I think you have been very accommodating and I WOULD NOT buy another pair of shoes. I would send him home with a note or send an email stating that "per safety requirements" I will not be able to accept him back the following day if he does not have appropriate shoes. We have actually started requiring for a pair (they could be old, whatever) to be left here in their cubbie.
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284878 01:02 PM 05-12-2016
Just post one of these on the door
Attached: no-pajamas-no-service-sign.jpg (100.0 KB) closed-toed-shoes-decal-sign-s-4886.jpg (15.8 KB) restaurantsignl.jpg (85.0 KB) 
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Thriftylady 01:13 PM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by 284878:
Just post one of these on the door
Oh golly I want the closed toed shoes one! Wish my color printer was working.
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KTsKids 01:15 PM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by thrivingchildcarecom:
You know what not only is it an issue for outside play, but what if there was an emergency and you needed to relocate. Would he be walking down the street barefoot? I even think that we are legally supposed to require the children to keep shoes on all the time for that very reason.
This is a VERY good point!! I never even considered what would happen if there were a fire or gas leak and we had to get out of here. I live in an apartment, and last summer another building in my complex (a building I had just moved out of) had an explosion then burned to the ground. Poor DCB would have been stuck outside on the scorching pavement under the blazing hot GA sun with no shoes...

All the kids in my care have a cubby where they can leave belongings. I just sent mom an e-mail AND a text letting her know that DCB needs to have a pair of close toed shoes that fit left in his cubby at all times if she wishes to continue care... I'm going to say a little prayer and cross my fingers that she does it! I've had this family for nearly a year and other than a few late payments have had very few complaints about anything else.
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Thriftylady 01:56 PM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
This is a VERY good point!! I never even considered what would happen if there were a fire or gas leak and we had to get out of here. I live in an apartment, and last summer another building in my complex (a building I had just moved out of) had an explosion then burned to the ground. Poor DCB would have been stuck outside on the scorching pavement under the blazing hot GA sun with no shoes...

All the kids in my care have a cubby where they can leave belongings. I just sent mom an e-mail AND a text letting her know that DCB needs to have a pair of close toed shoes that fit left in his cubby at all times if she wishes to continue care... I'm going to say a little prayer and cross my fingers that she does it! I've had this family for nearly a year and other than a few late payments have had very few complaints about anything else.
If she does not have them at next drop off, send her for them. Otherwise it will fall on death ears again. I have only had to send a parent away like that once. And it was for.... Wait for it..... Shoes for a 1 yr old they kept bringing without shoes. I asked and asked and one day I told dad "you will have to go home and get shoes". He said "mom didn't leave me any for her". I said "I will take her today but tomorrow she will NOT stay without shoes. I told mom at pick up and she said "Well I can't help it if he doesn't do what I tell him to". And I let her know that their issues were not MY issue they needed to solve them. The next day, in came a pair of shoes to be left in the cubby. Once dad knew he couldn't go to work if I didn't have shoes, it was taken care of.
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Mike 03:05 PM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Oh golly I want the closed toed shoes one! Wish my color printer was working.
I have a color laser printer. Want me to send you one?
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Thriftylady 03:29 PM 05-12-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
I have a color laser printer. Want me to send you one?
LOL. I have a new printer on the to buy list. But DH having his cataract surgery we had to pay for out of pocket and missing a week of work. Well being an adult and having priorities shucks sometimes lol. I hope to have my issues fixed in the next month or so.
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Tags:barefeet, no shoes, no shoes.barefoot
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