Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need advice
sahm2three 01:04 PM 12-06-2012
Ok, I have already termed this child, but I still need to get thru the next week +. I have a 2 yo dcg who I believe has been stunted by the last daycare she was in. They treated her like a 6 month old baby. Carried her, held her to feed her or let her walk around to eat. Didn't feed her square meals. Let her walk around with her blankie and paci all the time.
The only other child in this daycare was a baby who didn't really interact with her, so she has no idea what the concept of sharing is (and I know this is tough for children of this age, but she is severe). So, as a result of this last daycare, she will not sit and eat, so she doesn't eat or really drink much here.
She won't do anything without her blanket or paci, so she sits in a chair 90% of the time. I have tried easing her in by allowing the blanket to be on the gate that gates off our toddler play area and if anyone touches or acts as though they will touch it she flips out and gets physical or tries to with the other child. So, I had to make her an area to sit in away from the other kids in which she can sit with her blanket and paci.
She refuses to play without it. Refuses. And I can't allow one child to have a blanket and not the others. And I do not want other kids hurt by her, or other kids to wipe noses on it or etc, so I am not willing to budge on that. So do I just have her sit for the duration if she chooses to? Also, nap. Nap is miserable. She must nap in whatever room I am in because she won't stay in a bed or on a mat if she is in another room. And she climbs out of pnp's. Unless I do NOTHING during nap, no tv, no lunch, no movement, she won't sleep. And even if she does sleep, she will only sleep for about 20 mins and then it is a nightmare to keep her quiet for the rest of hte tiime for the other kids to sleep.
The mom knows ALL of this. It is the reason I let them go. I care for this child, and I advised the mom to put her in a small daycare or hire a nanny. She has enrolled her in a center! I don't know how that is going to work. I am a small daycare, and she is so disruptive. I can't imagine how she will be in a center! I hope it is just the change she needs, or that something clicks fast. But in the meantime, I have 6 days to go after today. Any advice?
The only other child in this daycare was a baby who didn't really interact with her, so she has no idea what the concept of sharing is (and I know this is tough for children of this age, but she is severe). So, as a result of this last daycare, she will not sit and eat, so she doesn't eat or really drink much here.
She won't do anything without her blanket or paci, so she sits in a chair 90% of the time. I have tried easing her in by allowing the blanket to be on the gate that gates off our toddler play area and if anyone touches or acts as though they will touch it she flips out and gets physical or tries to with the other child. So, I had to make her an area to sit in away from the other kids in which she can sit with her blanket and paci.
She refuses to play without it. Refuses. And I can't allow one child to have a blanket and not the others. And I do not want other kids hurt by her, or other kids to wipe noses on it or etc, so I am not willing to budge on that. So do I just have her sit for the duration if she chooses to? Also, nap. Nap is miserable. She must nap in whatever room I am in because she won't stay in a bed or on a mat if she is in another room. And she climbs out of pnp's. Unless I do NOTHING during nap, no tv, no lunch, no movement, she won't sleep. And even if she does sleep, she will only sleep for about 20 mins and then it is a nightmare to keep her quiet for the rest of hte tiime for the other kids to sleep.
The mom knows ALL of this. It is the reason I let them go. I care for this child, and I advised the mom to put her in a small daycare or hire a nanny. She has enrolled her in a center! I don't know how that is going to work. I am a small daycare, and she is so disruptive. I can't imagine how she will be in a center! I hope it is just the change she needs, or that something clicks fast. But in the meantime, I have 6 days to go after today. Any advice?
daycare 01:11 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
Ok, I have already termed this child, but I still need to get thru the next week +. I have a 2 yo dcg who I believe has been stunted by the last daycare she was in. They treated her like a 6 month old baby. Carried her, held her to feed her or let her walk around to eat. Didn't feed her square meals. Let her walk around with her blankie and paci all the time.
The only other child in this daycare was a baby who didn't really interact with her, so she has no idea what the concept of sharing is (and I know this is tough for children of this age, but she is severe). So, as a result of this last daycare, she will not sit and eat, so she doesn't eat or really drink much here.
She won't do anything without her blanket or paci, so she sits in a chair 90% of the time. I have tried easing her in by allowing the blanket to be on the gate that gates off our toddler play area and if anyone touches or acts as though they will touch it she flips out and gets physical or tries to with the other child. So, I had to make her an area to sit in away from the other kids in which she can sit with her blanket and paci.
She refuses to play without it. Refuses. And I can't allow one child to have a blanket and not the others. And I do not want other kids hurt by her, or other kids to wipe noses on it or etc, so I am not willing to budge on that. So do I just have her sit for the duration if she chooses to? Also, nap. Nap is miserable. She must nap in whatever room I am in because she won't stay in a bed or on a mat if she is in another room. And she climbs out of pnp's. Unless I do NOTHING during nap, no tv, no lunch, no movement, she won't sleep. And even if she does sleep, she will only sleep for about 20 mins and then it is a nightmare to keep her quiet for the rest of hte tiime for the other kids to sleep.
The mom knows ALL of this. It is the reason I let them go. I care for this child, and I advised the mom to put her in a small daycare or hire a nanny. She has enrolled her in a center! I don't know how that is going to work. I am a small daycare, and she is so disruptive. I can't imagine how she will be in a center! I hope it is just the change she needs, or that something clicks fast. But in the meantime, I have 6 days to go after today. Any advice?
I say just give the child her way with these things and let it go....Ok, I have already termed this child, but I still need to get thru the next week +. I have a 2 yo dcg who I believe has been stunted by the last daycare she was in. They treated her like a 6 month old baby. Carried her, held her to feed her or let her walk around to eat. Didn't feed her square meals. Let her walk around with her blankie and paci all the time.
The only other child in this daycare was a baby who didn't really interact with her, so she has no idea what the concept of sharing is (and I know this is tough for children of this age, but she is severe). So, as a result of this last daycare, she will not sit and eat, so she doesn't eat or really drink much here.
She won't do anything without her blanket or paci, so she sits in a chair 90% of the time. I have tried easing her in by allowing the blanket to be on the gate that gates off our toddler play area and if anyone touches or acts as though they will touch it she flips out and gets physical or tries to with the other child. So, I had to make her an area to sit in away from the other kids in which she can sit with her blanket and paci.
She refuses to play without it. Refuses. And I can't allow one child to have a blanket and not the others. And I do not want other kids hurt by her, or other kids to wipe noses on it or etc, so I am not willing to budge on that. So do I just have her sit for the duration if she chooses to? Also, nap. Nap is miserable. She must nap in whatever room I am in because she won't stay in a bed or on a mat if she is in another room. And she climbs out of pnp's. Unless I do NOTHING during nap, no tv, no lunch, no movement, she won't sleep. And even if she does sleep, she will only sleep for about 20 mins and then it is a nightmare to keep her quiet for the rest of hte tiime for the other kids to sleep.
The mom knows ALL of this. It is the reason I let them go. I care for this child, and I advised the mom to put her in a small daycare or hire a nanny. She has enrolled her in a center! I don't know how that is going to work. I am a small daycare, and she is so disruptive. I can't imagine how she will be in a center! I hope it is just the change she needs, or that something clicks fast. But in the meantime, I have 6 days to go after today. Any advice?
YOu are not going to resolve anything. If you only have 6 days left, I say hang in there and give it your best. It sounds really tough and I am sure it's stressing everyone out.
Know that there is light at the end of your tunnel...
cheerfuldom 07:24 PM 12-06-2012
I agree with the PP. Just do it her way and get thru the week. At the center, more than likely, they will take her items away from her and just do it cold turkey and if she cries, so be it. She will get used to it when she has to. Now I could be wrong about the center.....and I am not sure about her age but just in general, there is going to be a lot more kids there with a lot less staff and probably, less concern about "easing her into it". I am not trying to bash centers. I am just saying that going from essentially nanny care at her previous caregiver and then on to a center, its going to be culture shock for her. But it is her mom's choice to do it this way. If you arent willing to do deal with this behavior, centers normally are. I find that centers are less likely to term families than a small daycare would be.
countrymom 06:02 AM 12-07-2012
why did they leave the other daycare, besides the stuff mentioned. There must have been a really good reason. I also think that mom is not helping the situation either. Why does mom let her carry her blanket around, if mom doesnt get on board then no matter what you do isn't going to work.
don't you want to be a fly on a wall in that new daycare.
don't you want to be a fly on a wall in that new daycare.
sahm2three 07:02 AM 12-07-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
why did they leave the other daycare, besides the stuff mentioned. There must have been a really good reason. I also think that mom is not helping the situation either. Why does mom let her carry her blanket around, if mom doesnt get on board then no matter what you do isn't going to work.
don't you want to be a fly on a wall in that new daycare.
Previous provider moved. And YES, I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall at the new place! She is a nightmare, so I am anxious to find out how it goes.why did they leave the other daycare, besides the stuff mentioned. There must have been a really good reason. I also think that mom is not helping the situation either. Why does mom let her carry her blanket around, if mom doesnt get on board then no matter what you do isn't going to work.
don't you want to be a fly on a wall in that new daycare.
Cat Herder 08:00 AM 12-07-2012
I really only see three choices:
1. Stay with current plan and wait it out until she leaves.
2. Cold turkey to give her a week to adjust before the move to a two year old room. (where self help and potty training is the primary focus)
3. Make today her last day and refund next week for your own sanity.
Personally, I'd not allow the blanket or paci in on Monday to give her a full week without it at daycare. MOM should be the one to take it and leave it at home (not in the car so the crying starts at your house). In a perfect world Mom would have worked on it through the weekend as well.
Saying that, it is what I do for everyone here. I don't allow them at all, so it is very easy for me to say.
1. Stay with current plan and wait it out until she leaves.
2. Cold turkey to give her a week to adjust before the move to a two year old room. (where self help and potty training is the primary focus)
3. Make today her last day and refund next week for your own sanity.
Personally, I'd not allow the blanket or paci in on Monday to give her a full week without it at daycare. MOM should be the one to take it and leave it at home (not in the car so the crying starts at your house). In a perfect world Mom would have worked on it through the weekend as well.
Saying that, it is what I do for everyone here. I don't allow them at all, so it is very easy for me to say.