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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Why are Girls so Catty?
My4SunshineGirlsNY 04:07 PM 07-20-2010
I have 4 girls of my own (ages 13, 11, 6, and 4) and have 3 daycare girls ages 10,9, and 7...
One will buddy up with another and shut another out and nit pick them all day long so that they come to me over and over with an issue (she did this or said that, she's being mean, she won't play with me, ect.). One day they are arguing, the next best of friends. Why do they do this!!??
It has been a LONG summer so far and they have only been off school for about 3 1/2 weeks. My 9 and 7 year old daycare girls are here 11 hours a day and I know they all wear on each others nerves, kind of like sisters...they get too much of each other. Separate, they are all good kids but together, not so much. They get snotty and I get overwhelmed with all the issues they bring to me. It's really rediculous and I don't know what to do...I thought about taking privaleges away but then I get two sides to the story and don't know who to punish!
Today the 9 year old daycare girl was in her swimsuit outside with the rest of the kids and she peed in her swimsuit! Just stood there and said I have to pee and started peeing! Then my 13 year old and 10 year old neice said something about it out loud and told her to go to the bathroom and daycare girl said "nah, I'm done"....OMG...I was like WHAT!!?? 9 year old girl comes in and starts pouting like she does so frequently and tells me her side of the story which of coarse was in her favor...said that she couldn't hold it, blah blah....but my daughter and neice tells me she just stood there and did it and said she was done. I just learned a couple days ago the 9 year old daycare girl's sister (age 7) squated outside by my playset and peed right in her suit and covered it up with my gravel stone and said nobody will know! OMG, she went swimming in my parents pool with that swimsuit! I told their mom this afternoon and she felt it was laziness with the 9 year old..the way it sounded was that she has had this happen at home on occasion.
These girls are generally good kids, I mean they have their moments as many kids do, that was just one small portion of my day. My daughter and neice dropped the subject but daycare girl kept pouting and saying they were being mean to her when they were not. She tends to make mountains out of molehills. That stresses me out because she most likely tells her mother the side of the story that makes her look like she did no wrong, when she provokes some of it.
I just don't know why girls have to be so catty at each other...if one wants to be left alone the other gets snotty at that person. This is going to be a LOOOONG summer!
One will buddy up with another and shut another out and nit pick them all day long so that they come to me over and over with an issue (she did this or said that, she's being mean, she won't play with me, ect.). One day they are arguing, the next best of friends. Why do they do this!!??
It has been a LONG summer so far and they have only been off school for about 3 1/2 weeks. My 9 and 7 year old daycare girls are here 11 hours a day and I know they all wear on each others nerves, kind of like sisters...they get too much of each other. Separate, they are all good kids but together, not so much. They get snotty and I get overwhelmed with all the issues they bring to me. It's really rediculous and I don't know what to do...I thought about taking privaleges away but then I get two sides to the story and don't know who to punish!
Today the 9 year old daycare girl was in her swimsuit outside with the rest of the kids and she peed in her swimsuit! Just stood there and said I have to pee and started peeing! Then my 13 year old and 10 year old neice said something about it out loud and told her to go to the bathroom and daycare girl said "nah, I'm done"....OMG...I was like WHAT!!?? 9 year old girl comes in and starts pouting like she does so frequently and tells me her side of the story which of coarse was in her favor...said that she couldn't hold it, blah blah....but my daughter and neice tells me she just stood there and did it and said she was done. I just learned a couple days ago the 9 year old daycare girl's sister (age 7) squated outside by my playset and peed right in her suit and covered it up with my gravel stone and said nobody will know! OMG, she went swimming in my parents pool with that swimsuit! I told their mom this afternoon and she felt it was laziness with the 9 year old..the way it sounded was that she has had this happen at home on occasion.
These girls are generally good kids, I mean they have their moments as many kids do, that was just one small portion of my day. My daughter and neice dropped the subject but daycare girl kept pouting and saying they were being mean to her when they were not. She tends to make mountains out of molehills. That stresses me out because she most likely tells her mother the side of the story that makes her look like she did no wrong, when she provokes some of it.
I just don't know why girls have to be so catty at each other...if one wants to be left alone the other gets snotty at that person. This is going to be a LOOOONG summer!
TGT09 04:21 PM 07-20-2010
I think the "mountains out of molehills" describes every single girl from 5-12...then a whole new ballgame starts. I also think for me, it doesn't matter boy or girl at my house. They ALL act like that in those age ranges. It pushes me to my limits some days! I have to really keep tight reins on the worst days. I also have to limit the tattling to a minimum and tell them I don't want to hear it. I've starting saying that "if you want it taken care of then you'll have to tell he/she to stop".....I can't physically make them. Of course, it's not anything life altering or about anything physical. At some point they need to understand the rights and wrongs.
I'm having problems with girls excluding boys from playing games and older ones excluding the younger ones. AHHHHHH! Does it ever end? Yes, it does...when school starts in another month! :-)
I'm having problems with girls excluding boys from playing games and older ones excluding the younger ones. AHHHHHH! Does it ever end? Yes, it does...when school starts in another month! :-)
melskids 03:27 AM 07-21-2010
i dont think its just the girls..... ALL of my SA are doing it and its driving me bonkers!!! they are sooo bratty. they are always ganging up on one another, excluding someone, bickering over the most stupid things. the new thing is the sandboxes. i have one that fits 2 comfortably, a turtle, which really only fits one, and is supposed to be for the toddlers anyway, and a pit full of pea gravel. they still manage to fight over the sand, to the point where i'm gonna close them up for the rest of the summer!!! there are a thousand other things to do, but they all want the same thing at once. they also fight over the chairs at mealtimes. its like, come on already....does it really matter who sits where...geeesh!!!! (they now have assigned seats) i swear....SA are more work then the toddlers!!!!
TGT09 04:34 AM 07-21-2010
Originally Posted by melskids:
i dont think its just the girls..... ALL of my SA are doing it and its driving me bonkers!!! they are sooo bratty. they are always ganging up on one another, excluding someone, bickering over the most stupid things. the new thing is the sandboxes. i have one that fits 2 comfortably, a turtle, which really only fits one, and is supposed to be for the toddlers anyway, and a pit full of pea gravel. they still manage to fight over the sand, to the point where i'm gonna close them up for the rest of the summer!!! there are a thousand other things to do, but they all want the same thing at once they also fight over the chairs at mealtimes. its like, come on already....does. it really matter who sits where...geeesh!!!! (they now have assigned seats) i swear....SA are more work then the toddlers!!!!
Great idea! I'm having the "I want to sit by so-so" and I keep saying "you'll sit where I put your food".i dont think its just the girls..... ALL of my SA are doing it and its driving me bonkers!!! they are sooo bratty. they are always ganging up on one another, excluding someone, bickering over the most stupid things. the new thing is the sandboxes. i have one that fits 2 comfortably, a turtle, which really only fits one, and is supposed to be for the toddlers anyway, and a pit full of pea gravel. they still manage to fight over the sand, to the point where i'm gonna close them up for the rest of the summer!!! there are a thousand other things to do, but they all want the same thing at once they also fight over the chairs at mealtimes. its like, come on already....does. it really matter who sits where...geeesh!!!! (they now have assigned seats) i swear....SA are more work then the toddlers!!!!
My4SunshineGirlsNY 06:59 AM 07-21-2010
Originally Posted by melskids:
they also fight over the chairs at mealtimes. its like, come on already....does it really matter who sits where...geeesh!!!! (they now have assigned seats) i swear....SA are more work then the toddlers!!!!
Same here! I have one bar stool up at a bar table I have (used to have 2 but one broke) and they all want to fight over it. I should take care of it, but I need that extra seat as I don't have enough chairs at my dining table. They argue over so many things during the day...and yup, they all want to play with the same thing....nobody could be playing with a certain thing and the moment one starts, they all want the same thing and let the whining and arguing begin...geesh! I'm so ready to be done! We still have another 6 weeks or so of summer.they also fight over the chairs at mealtimes. its like, come on already....does it really matter who sits where...geeesh!!!! (they now have assigned seats) i swear....SA are more work then the toddlers!!!!
momofsix 10:18 AM 07-21-2010
This is coming from my experience as a parent, as i don't have any older dc kids. Try your HARDEST (and it will be hard!) to ignore any and all arguing/tattling/whining....if you don't give the one begging for attention that way any attention, they will figure it out-for some reason they just take much longer to "get it" than the younger kids.
This is one of the main reasons I don't do older kids, they always seem to think that they can argue, manipulate, complain...because they haven't been "brought up" in daycare and don't get the fact that we're not "friends" with them.
At least summer is past the halfway mark!
This is one of the main reasons I don't do older kids, they always seem to think that they can argue, manipulate, complain...because they haven't been "brought up" in daycare and don't get the fact that we're not "friends" with them.
At least summer is past the halfway mark!
boysx5 11:48 AM 07-21-2010
I have five sons and boy somedays I'm glad I have one six year who I'm sure you have all heard me vent about. She always has better and is on my nerves I am so tired of her. My boys may be messy and beat each other up but five minutes later they are friends and with boys there isn't any drama this one puts on the water works way too much and just drives me nuts her two year old sister is heading in the same direction lord help me
Jenjo 12:04 PM 07-21-2010
Oh all of this sounds so familiar. I have 4 dcboys that are SA. They sound just like the girls arguing about everything. They can not get a long. If I let them try to work it out on their own it almost always ends up in a fist fight. So I have to watch them closer than I do the younger children. I let them work it out to a point then when they start getting violent I have to step in. I am soooooooooo tired. We have about 5 more weeks until school starts.
GretasLittleFriends 03:05 PM 07-21-2010
Originally Posted by Jenjo:
We have about 5 more weeks until school starts.
48 calendar days, not that I'm counting. (I'm like a kid with an advent calendar in the weeks before Christmas...) We have about 5 more weeks until school starts.
Reading the OP if you would have substituted the word "girl" for "boy" (and the like) I swear you were talking about my home. The only little girl I have this summer in my care is my own infant.
All I can say is I'm glad to know I'm not going through this alone, though I empathize with the others who are in my shoes.
melskids 03:32 PM 07-21-2010
Originally Posted by TGT09:
Great idea! I'm having the "I want to sit by so-so" and I keep saying "you'll sit where I put your food".
what i actually do is i have their names printed on cardstock and laminated. everyday who ever the "helper" is gets to put the name tags out. wherever the tags are is where they have to sit and no one is allowed to argue. this way they get different seats everyday and a chance to sit by who they want to. i was only doing it for lunch and they had to sit in that same seat for snack that day, but now they all seem to "forget" where they sat at lunch, so we will now be using the tags for snack to. Great idea! I'm having the "I want to sit by so-so" and I keep saying "you'll sit where I put your food".
i'm almost tempted to implement this with the toys and "centers" too cause they are driving me crazy with who had what first.
boysx5 04:05 AM 07-22-2010
Originally Posted by GretasLittleFriends:
48 calendar days, not that I'm counting. (I'm like a kid with an advent calendar in the weeks before Christmas...)
Reading the OP if you would have substituted the word "girl" for "boy" (and the like) I swear you were talking about my home. The only little girl I have this summer in my care is my own infant.
All I can say is I'm glad to know I'm not going through this alone, though I empathize with the others who are in my shoes.
I do the calender counting as well I keep saying only 20 more work days til school starts since next month I'm off for a week. Its what gets me through somedays with this school age girl I have otherwise I would lose my mind. I also treat myself to stuff after daycare I guess I'm like a kid48 calendar days, not that I'm counting. (I'm like a kid with an advent calendar in the weeks before Christmas...)
Reading the OP if you would have substituted the word "girl" for "boy" (and the like) I swear you were talking about my home. The only little girl I have this summer in my care is my own infant.
All I can say is I'm glad to know I'm not going through this alone, though I empathize with the others who are in my shoes.