Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Are These Red Flags For You?
childcaremom 06:44 AM 02-26-2015
I am reopening and while I would like to fill up quickly, I am not desperate for children and can afford to be picky with famillies.

I had an interview the other day and need some input.

Boy is just over 2 and would be coming from a centre. I am legally unliscensed and operating out of my home.

Backstory: I have my background checks, etc. Rest of my family does not (not required) and they will NOT be home while daycare is operating. Parents have a tour of my home and daycare area during interview but do not have access to my house after that. I will meet child at door and bring child to parent at pick up. My door is locked at all times. (Had problems with previous parents wandering my house )

Child seems comfortable enough. Exploring toys. Trying to climb on table to see fish. Parents didn't correct. Wouldn't stay in daycare area (opening door, leaving, not listening to parents telling him to come back).

Parents questioned about my paperwork, etc. Then asked about hubby having background check done. I said he did not and explained that he is not home and would not ever be watching the children. Parent asked why he doesn't. I explained why again. Parent said that it seemed strange and thought that he should have it done. It has never come up before so I just explained again that he is not home and would not be watching the children.

Mom says that they are really happy with centre but the commute doesn't work anymore. They really liked having webcams for security.

Child was a biter. Was not addressed by centre until parents became concerned about it. Once their concerns were brought to light, the biting stopped.

At good bye time, child ran out the door without waiting for parent, despite being told to wait, and mom had to chase him.

So. Too many red flags? Or am I being too picky?

The background check is not a deal breaker for me. I have not ever had anyone ask about this before and am not legally required to ensure this is done. Hubby could get this done so not a big deal in my book.

Biting? I am leaning towards child not being properly supervised. I told parents that I don't tolerate it and have had success at stopping it at one incident. they told me that it stopped when they raised their concerns with the centre. I am not overly concerned about this as I know my tolerance of this type of behaviour and if it happened within his transition period would terminate immediately.

Webcams? Is this parent going to be happy being stopped at the door? If they can't trust me, this isn't going to work.

Discipline? This is such a huge thing for me. If child doesn't listen to parents, will he listen to me? I had a child behave like this at an interview before, accepted him thinking I could set the environment here, and it was disastrous.

After the interview, my initial gut reaction was no way. They emailed me last night indicating that they were interested and now I am wondering if I am being too picky?

Also, they are friends with another provider, who emailed me as well last night, to see how things were going and how my interview with them went.

Small town, everyone knows everyone kind of situation here.

Thanks for any suggestions!
Reply
Unregistered 06:55 AM 02-26-2015
Yes on both sides. As a parent I wouldn't place my child in a home daycare that I couldn't come into after the interview. Your husband not having a back ground check also throws up a red flag. (Why not have it done if there is nothing to hide)

As an operator.. being a biter is the main red flag. If they like the center so much the commute wouldn't matter.
Reply
CraftyMom 07:06 AM 02-26-2015
I wouldn't see them as red flags for me necessarily. Every environment is different and kids act different around their parents. All my dck's turn into a different child the minute their parents show up. As far as them disciplining him, this is the first time they've met you and may not be comfortable doing so in front of you, wondering if you will judge them kwim?

Use your 2 week trial period to see for yourself, I don't like to go based on what others have said.

I do the same as far as my home is concerned. Parents have a tour of my home at the interview. After that they pick up and drop off in the playroom, where they entry is. No reason to come through my home. If for some reason they wanted to come into the rest of my home I wouldn't refuse them access, but there is no reason so it has never come up.

I would just get the background check done for your husband because this will likely come up again in the future. I can see how, even though he isn't there, it seems fishy to the parents. I would just do it to avoid this conversation in the future.
Reply
childcaremom 07:08 AM 02-26-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Yes on both sides. As a parent I wouldn't place my child in a home daycare that I couldn't come into after the interview. Your husband not having a back ground check also throws up a red flag. (Why not have it done if there is nothing to hide)

My home is a split entry, daycare in bottom. They come in but don't come into the daycare area as it has created issues in the past. Spending too much time getting child out the door resulting in everyone acting up, etc. Wandering around my house upstairs after I thought they left! That was when I went to a locked door, hand off child at door policy.

Yeah, the background check isn't something that I had even thought of before so something to think about for the future. I get it as a parent.

As an operator.. being a biter is the main red flag. If they like the center so much the commute wouldn't matter.
Well the commute can be an hour long one way due to traffic. Their work used to be very close to centre, then location changed, hence changing daycares. And after the winter we are having, makes sense to me.

Thanks
Reply
childcaremom 07:10 AM 02-26-2015
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I wouldn't see them as red flags for me necessarily. Every environment is different and kids act different around their parents. All my dck's turn into a different child the minute their parents show up. As far as them disciplining him, this is the first time they've met you and may not be comfortable doing so in front of you, wondering if you will judge them kwim?

Use your 2 week trial period to see for yourself, I don't like to go based on what others have said.

I do the same as far as my home is concerned. Parents have a tour of my home at the interview. After that they pick up and drop off in the playroom, where they entry is. No reason to come through my home. If for some reason they wanted to come into the rest of my home I wouldn't refuse them access, but there is no reason so it has never come up.

I would just get the background check done for your husband because this will likely come up again in the future. I can see how, even though he isn't there, it seems fishy to the parents. I would just do it to avoid this conversation in the future.

Thanks. Yes, I think I will get my husband to get one done.
Reply
finsup 07:12 AM 02-26-2015
To me, no, not really. As long as they understood there would be no web cam in my home! But personally if it were myself looking for care, I would want a place where I also feel welcome (not to wander around of course!!). I wouldn't be OK with not being able to enter the home. But if those parents are fine it, go with your gut.
Reply
mommyneedsadayoff 07:13 AM 02-26-2015
the only red flag to me is the camera thing and if they are not okay with your house rules. People think cameras will help protect their kid, but they are easily gotten around, so the best defense is finding a provider you can trust! As for the access to the house, my door is locked and parents are not allowed to walk through my home. They knock, we meet them at the door, say bye, and that is it. If they ask to see the house, I would have no problem showing them, but ONLY the areas where daycare happens. They are not touring my bedroom or my kid's rooms or any other private parts of my house. The other behaviors sound pretty typical for a two year old who has not had consistent and strong dicsipline.
Reply
Heidi 07:20 AM 02-26-2015
How about something like "I really enjoyed meeting your family, and your son is adorable! He is such an active little boy, I'm just wondering if you think this will be a good fit for him? I concerned about stifling all that energy!"

Maybe he could come "visit" for a few hours on Saturday?
Reply
Shell 08:01 AM 02-26-2015
Red flags for me- I would pass.
Reminds me too much of a family I had interview- jumped through hoops to try and get them to like my program (small family Childcare), and in the end it didn't work out.
Some folks get too used to the center life (web cams, open almost everyday, kids moving up classrooms, Etc), and our smaller programs aren't a fit.
I also think they might not be telling you everything...
Just my two cents
Reply
akpayne 11:20 AM 02-26-2015
The child was a biter and it didn't stop until parents intervened? The centre didn't have a problem with it, the parents of the child being bit? That seems untrue to me and probably the real reason they are leaving. I haven't had a lot of success with parents coming from a centre, the environment is too different and they never seem to get over the "employer" sense of mind
Reply
childcaremom 04:21 AM 03-01-2015
Thanks for the input!

I am still on the fence.

I had another convo with dcm and straightened away some issues, but despite some direct questioning from me, others are still in the air.

I have had some other interviews that have gone MUCH better and got a much better vibe from parents, so leaning towards passing on this family and going with my gut.
Reply
Unregistered 07:39 PM 09-04-2020
I recently had a gut feeling during an interview with a client that they weren't the right fit. The mom was really young and brought her mom with her (Boys grandma) The girl's mom did most of the talking during the interview. And asked a lot of personal questions and made me feel very uncomfortable. I am in my 20s and run a home daycare and live at home still. And the grandma was asking me things like - "Are you married?" I said no. Then she said "Have a boyfriend?" "Do you own this house?" "Do you do weekends?" "Do you do this part time and have a second job?" She just kept going on and on about my personal life... It had nothing to to do with daycare. . She also asked what made me to want to work with kids if I have none.. I decided to not have them in my care, it was just really uncomfortable... I could sense something about them and wasnt very comfortable talking to them... She also asked how they would sleep if it was so bright in the room. I said I close the curtains and it turns dark lol
Reply
Littlepeopleprovider 04:32 AM 09-05-2020
You came to the right place to figure it out! It's probably eating at you because you want to make sure you're making the right choice so you're second guessing your initial reaction to wanting to enroll the family or pass.

When I first started, I would ignore my gut and had some pretty bad experiences with families. I'm not saying you will have the same experiences, but definitely pay attention to how you feel when interviewing families.

From just reading your post, it seems like the grandma would be in control and she would continue meddling into everything. But maybe not. It just reminds me of a previous experience I had with an overbearing grandma. It was a nightmare.
Reply
MyAngels 09:18 AM 09-05-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I recently had a gut feeling during an interview with a client that they weren't the right fit. The mom was really young and brought her mom with her (Boys grandma) The girl's mom did most of the talking during the interview. And asked a lot of personal questions and made me feel very uncomfortable. I am in my 20s and run a home daycare and live at home still. And the grandma was asking me things like - "Are you married?" I said no. Then she said "Have a boyfriend?" "Do you own this house?" "Do you do weekends?" "Do you do this part time and have a second job?" She just kept going on and on about my personal life... It had nothing to to do with daycare. . She also asked what made me to want to work with kids if I have none.. I decided to not have them in my care, it was just really uncomfortable... I could sense something about them and wasnt very comfortable talking to them... She also asked how they would sleep if it was so bright in the room. I said I close the curtains and it turns dark lol
I'll offer another perspective. As a grandma and a daycare provider I really don't see anything wrong with the questions that you listed. As a young mother looking for daycare I didn't know to ask those kinds of questions and ended up with a couple of providers that just didn't work out. Now that I'm older I will think of questions that young parents might not think would be relevant but could really affect how successful a relationship with a daycare provider could be. Asking about your relationship status: Probably wondering if you'll have a boyfriend hanging around with the kids - not that it makes a difference if he's background checked and qualified to be there, but it could make a difference in her choice. Asking about whether you own the house: Not all landlords will allow daycare in their rentals for liability purposes, and she could be concerned with stability. Asking about part time jobs: Again, she's probably wondering about stability.

Now, I'm definitely not saying you should ignore your instincts, and I'm sure you did the right thing by refusing to enroll them, but just giving another perspective.

Don't just discount us grandmas, we have life experiences that can help our kids make a good choice in the care of their children. Some of my best relationships with families have started out interviewing with both the parents and grandparents
Reply
Tags:centre to home based care, interview behaviour, red flags
Reply Up