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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Completely Lost It At Meal Time Today! So Fed Up With Picky Eaters!!
jenny31052 11:22 AM 01-31-2012
So, I'm so, so, so tired of picky eaters!!!!! I'm tired of filling my trash can with food every day!!!
I have a 4 and a 5 years old, that do not eat ANYTHING, at all... they say that they don't like it without even tasting it...

Today I totally lost it... I made homemade mac and cheese, and it was sooo yummy. Of course it didn't look like the one from the box, it didn't meet their expectations, and was promptly rejected without even trying it. I took the plates away from them, and I told them that if they don't want to eat, that is fine, and if they go home hungry it is fine too!

Homemade pizza is not good either, because it doesn't look like the frozen one...

I have never seen such picky eaters before... I follow the food program, and I cannot give them the junk food they so badly want...

I'm totally fed up today... can't wait to see their faces, when I will give them baby carrots for snack....
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JenNJ 11:24 AM 01-31-2012
Do you really get that frustrated? I serve healthy meals and the kids don't always like it. But I offer a suitable substitute and move on. I always have turkey and cheese in the fridge or PB&J on hand.
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Heidi 11:29 AM 01-31-2012
I can see why your frustrated, but don't take it personally. You can lead a horse to water...as they say.

Offer it, set the ground rules (no whining, no "yuck", or you are excused). If they don't eat, they must not be very hungry....

Carrot sticks...lol
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karen 11:44 AM 01-31-2012
Couldn't agree more with you....It does get frustrating when you plan your meals out make homemade food and the kids push it away....I am on the food program to. My favorite was yesterday we had PB and jelly sami's for snack I have made them the same way forever hasn't changed...This one little boy whom I have had since he was 6 weeks old now is 3 and has had my pb&J's many times....looks at it and says "That's Nasty I am not eating that!!!!!!!
I guess it's a phase!!!!!
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Daycaremomof2 11:44 AM 01-31-2012
I get so frustrated too! I hate wasting food, and have had parents blame me in the past for not making their kids eat. Ugh.
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Ariana 12:23 PM 01-31-2012
It's not your responsibility!! You offered them food, they refused, that's it that's all. You did your part of your job descripton. Next time give them smaller portions and if they eat it give them more. If they don't take the rest and freeze it or have it for supper. I currently have a DCG who eats nothing here so I stopped giving her so much food so I could save the rest. I don't fight with kids over food, that's their parents jobs, I'm not raising kids, I'm providing childcare

good luck with the carrot sticks...although my kids go crazy for raw veggies!!
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kidkair 12:41 PM 01-31-2012
Try feeding family style and give them just a small spoonful of everything you are offering and only let them have more when they have tried everything on their plate. Keep with giving them very small amounts and encouraging them to try everything. My food program person said I could to this if I was having troubles getting them to eat.
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Meeko 12:55 PM 01-31-2012
If you are on the food program, don't sweat it.

All you have to do is OFFER the food. If they won't eat it, so be it. You still get paid exactly the same.

Do you serve restaurant style (already on the individual plate) or family style (bring the serving bowl to the table and everybody has what they want)?

Family style saves a lot of waste in my day care.

If I bring something to the table and they don't want much of it, I put the remainder in a disposable container and we either freeze and eat it as a family later, or my son runs it down the road to an elderly man that we love and adore. He is very appreciative of the help. The food hasn't been touched by the kids and doesn't often go to waste. If it was on individual plates, I would have to throw it away.
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mac60 01:08 PM 01-31-2012
This is a constant battle, the whole food issue. I would never set my dishes of food on the table. Not only is my table not big enough, the first time someone sneezed on it and I had to throw it out would be the last time. I too have some picky eaters. If they sit down, push it away or make a disrespectful remark, they are immediately removed to time out. (We all know that when 1 says they don't like it then suddenly 2 or 3 don't like it)They get to come back and eat alone and are put on the timer. For my picky eaters, I only put a very small spoonful of each food on their plate, this has really cut back on the wasting of food. They can always have more as long as they eat everything on their plate. I am not a short order cook, I don't do substitutes.
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littlemommy 02:00 PM 01-31-2012
I use sectioned plates and put one (small) spoonful of each thing on their plate for the picky eaters. If they eat that, they are more than welcome to have more, but I still do a small bit at a time. Saves me from throwing away an entire plate of food!
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snbauser 02:58 PM 01-31-2012
Don't get frustrated. If they aren't used to seeing that type of food, in most cases they won't eat it the first 3 or 4 times you serve it. Keep serving it. They will eventually eat it. Almost every time I serve something new, no one eats it the first few times. After several times of seeing it on their plate, they will try it. I only serve 1 new thing at a time though so that there is something on their plate they will eat so I know they are not going hungry. I do not fix separate meals though.
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joysjustlikehome 03:18 PM 01-31-2012
I just try to remember it is my job to serve the food and their job to eat it. I always do my job - them not so much. I give them the tiniest bit so I waste less. So nor worth getting into the battle with them - we'll lose every time. I used to have a little boy that would only eat one grape the entire lunch time- he would hold it and try to eat it like an apple taking teeny tiny nibbles - used to make me nuts until I just finally realized it's so not worth my getting upset about it.
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PitterPatter 03:27 PM 01-31-2012
Originally Posted by jenny31052:
So, I'm so, so, so tired of picky eaters!!!!! I'm tired of filling my trash can with food every day!!!
I have a 4 and a 5 years old, that do not eat ANYTHING, at all... they say that they don't like it without even tasting it...

Today I totally lost it... I made homemade mac and cheese, and it was sooo yummy. Of course it didn't look like the one from the box, it didn't meet their expectations, and was promptly rejected without even trying it. I took the plates away from them, and I told them that if they don't want to eat, that is fine, and if they go home hungry it is fine too!

Homemade pizza is not good either, because it doesn't look like the frozen one...

I have never seen such picky eaters before... I follow the food program, and I cannot give them the junk food they so badly want...

I'm totally fed up today... can't wait to see their faces, when I will give them baby carrots for snack....
I know how you feel, very sad to see all that wasted food when other children around the globe go hungry!

It gets to me sometimes too especially when I have spent a lot of time preparing it from scratch. I am on the food program too but I have decided to cut back. I serve a small portion, if they eat it then I will give more. I refuse to throw good food away for no reason and when food lady comes I am telling her that. If she takes me off the program then so be it. It's only a partial reimbursment anyway. I am fully prepared to serve the proper quantity but refuse to lay it on the plate knowing it will be thrown away.
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daycare 03:40 PM 01-31-2012
It does stink that they don't eat it and that we can't give them back up food. Im on the food program too.

I think what is worse, is that when they don't eat the mood that it puts them in just kills me. They are so grumpy and moody because they chose not to eat. Then 10-20 min after meal time....Miss. C. Im hungry. I want something to eat, drink, snack....UM NOPE you just had your chance and you chose not to. It does sound horribly mean, but I would be sitting all day and feeding children if I played into that game.....PLUS on the food program, all meals hacve to be 2 hours apart and served at the same time for you to get your repayment....

What I did do was find out what they will eat and I keep track of it. I rotate out my meal schedules every 3 weeks. YUP we eat the same things every 3 week rotation. I know what to buy, how much and it has saved me a lot of money.

Also, I don't battle children if they don't want to eat. You have to sit and at least try one bite of your choice. You have to sit at the table and wait for everyone to be done. About 15*-20 min...... everyone gets excused at the same time and will display good table manners if they are done or not.

After that time frame is over, if you ate or not, food goes in the trash.
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Heidi 08:50 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by PitterPatter:
I know how you feel, very sad to see all that wasted food when other children around the globe go hungry!

It gets to me sometimes too especially when I have spent a lot of time preparing it from scratch. I am on the food program too but I have decided to cut back. I serve a small portion, if they eat it then I will give more. I refuse to throw good food away for no reason and when food lady comes I am telling her that. If she takes me off the program then so be it. It's only a partial reimbursment anyway. I am fully prepared to serve the proper quantity but refuse to lay it on the plate knowing it will be thrown away.
You will not get "kicked off" the food program for this, IMO. You only need to have enough food to OFFER the required portions. You are not required to SERVE the entire portion of each food at once. At least, that is what our food program has been telling us for 20+ years.
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Blackcat31 08:57 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
You will not get "kicked off" the food program for this, IMO. You only need to have enough food to OFFER the required portions. You are not required to SERVE the entire portion of each food at once. At least, that is what our food program has been telling us for 20+ years.
I was told the same thing by my food program coordinator.

We only have to have the correct servings available but do not actually have to put it all on their plate at once.
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familyschoolcare 09:10 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I was told the same thing by my food program coordinator.

We only have to have the correct servings available but do not actually have to put it all on their plate at once.

I was told I do not have to even put on the plate. So for example at snack yestereday we had Homemade pumpkn muffins and organges. I get the plate

of organges out ot the ref. and ask DCB1 (my very picky eater) do you whant some ornges he say no (he always says no) then I continue the process for

the rest of the children serving the that whant some. I repeat with the muffins. The children all now that at this point they may get out their lunch

and eat what ever is left (provided it is not too much junk, this works for me). Then at the end of snack the fruit goes back in the freg. and my family

eats it latter, I then put any left over muffins in the freezer and we have them for snack a another day. I always have "leftover" muffins B/C of my

picky eater will not eat any of my food and I min any. I have said DCB would you like some grapes he says no goes and gets his lunch and eats his grapes.


If you do it this way then alot less food will end up in the garbage can and you will have leftovers to warm up for dinner.


PS. I food prgram rep has been here when I have done this and no problems as long as he see the food on the plate making avaiable to the child.
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youretooloud 09:10 AM 02-01-2012
My food program always told us "It's your job to serve it, it's their job to eat it".

I know who will and won't eat. I put very little on their plates, so it doesn't frustrate me when I throw it away. I don't fill the plate.

Over the summer, I had a VERY overweight grade school child. SHe would REFUSE to eat anything if it had fruit or vegetable on the plate. She'd cry and shove the plate away and say "I'm NOT eating this!". I explained that she could eat the part she liked, and leave the rest, because I was required to serve the whole lunch. Then, I told her to stop saying ANYTHING in front of the other kids about the food...and that I would not NOT give her something else, because then the other kids would start to act like she does, and I'd be dealing with this for the next five years. So, I let her starve all summer long. By July, she was at least pleasant and stopped shoving the plate away and openly sulking about it. But, she never ate a single lunch at my house for over two months.

If I made Blueberry muffins, she'd refuse to eat that too, because it had "fruit" in it.
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Cat Herder 09:23 AM 02-01-2012
My State has MANDATORY minimums to be offered.

I offer it, they choose whether or not to eat. It makes no difference to me. The food was already paid for by their parents (tuition).....not me. I think it is about perspective.

If they eat the first serving, they get seconds, and so on... Family Style. If not, we carry on.

I don't stress over it at all.... IMHO, that is why I generally don't have picky eaters. If I made it obvious it bothered me, I think I'd see alot more meal time issues.

I know all my clients complain about the issues they have at home; one saying she won't let them down until they eat a few bites of EVERYTHING.... I feel strongly this is WHY they have the battles. Honestly, their kids eat great here.

I don't serve "kid foods" either....
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countrymom 09:32 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
It does stink that they don't eat it and that we can't give them back up food. Im on the food program too.

I think what is worse, is that when they don't eat the mood that it puts them in just kills me. They are so grumpy and moody because they chose not to eat. Then 10-20 min after meal time....Miss. C. Im hungry. I want something to eat, drink, snack....UM NOPE you just had your chance and you chose not to. It does sound horribly mean, but I would be sitting all day and feeding children if I played into that game.....PLUS on the food program, all meals hacve to be 2 hours apart and served at the same time for you to get your repayment....

What I did do was find out what they will eat and I keep track of it. I rotate out my meal schedules every 3 weeks. YUP we eat the same things every 3 week rotation. I know what to buy, how much and it has saved me a lot of money.

Also, I don't battle children if they don't want to eat. You have to sit and at least try one bite of your choice. You have to sit at the table and wait for everyone to be done. About 15*-20 min...... everyone gets excused at the same time and will display good table manners if they are done or not.

After that time frame is over, if you ate or not, food goes in the trash.
thats my house. I don't care if you don't want to eat, but you still have to sit and watch the others eat. Its amazing how many will eat when they see the others eat, esp. when I serve a dessert and the others are eating the dessert. I just can't get over how many kids have never seen fresh homemade pizza before. I had a boy tell me that pizza only comes from the delivery guy. Dear op, don't worry, we all deal with this nonsense.
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Crazy8 09:39 AM 02-01-2012
this is why I am glad not to be on the food program and not have to deal with any issues with food. Lunch time is a breeze here, everyone eats what was sent from home, if they don't finish it no big deal but they always like what they are eating. And in 10 years I have never had a kid have an issue with someone else eating something different, they just know they bring their own lunch and that's it. No headaches for me.
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wdmmom 09:56 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by LittleDiamonds:
this is why I am glad not to be on the food program and not have to deal with any issues with food. Lunch time is a breeze here, everyone eats what was sent from home, if they don't finish it no big deal but they always like what they are eating. And in 10 years I have never had a kid have an issue with someone else eating something different, they just know they bring their own lunch and that's it. No headaches for me.
I'm not on the food program either but I'd never in a million years consider having everyone bring their own food. I can't even imagine the chaos that would cause.

"Johnny has a cheese stick, I want a cheese stick. Why can't I have a cheese stick?" Oh

I got so used to throwing so much food away that I stopped too. I still serve "restaurant style" but I usually only put 1/2 of the required serving size on the plate. I allow 2nds if they've tried everything on their plate. Alls I ask is that they try it.

And, one thing that's gotten me through meals is to remember, "YOU'LL NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE."
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juliebug 11:38 AM 02-01-2012
i do family style and boy does it save food! i have some extremely picky children and just don't eat until they go home some days. oh well i offered food they refused all is good.
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Mrs. CC 07:56 AM 02-03-2012
this is why I no longer do the Food Program. I do not care that the food has a subsidy, I refuse to waste food.

I will sit with them until they finish. I will play food games with them. I will help them scoop their food and eat it.

I WILL NOT throw away full plates of food!
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countrymom 08:58 AM 02-03-2012
whats family style.
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Blackcat31 09:03 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Mrs. CC:
this is why I no longer do the Food Program. I do not care that the food has a subsidy, I refuse to waste food.

I will sit with them until they finish. I will play food games with them. I will help them scoop their food and eat it.

I WILL NOT throw away full plates of food!
Curious as to why you feel being on the food program promotes waste?

I am on the food program and have been for a LOOOOONG time and I rarely throw anything away.

Playing games, supporting the kids while they eat, scooping and assisting are not things the food program frowns on
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Mrs. CC 09:13 AM 02-03-2012
Curious as to why you feel being on the food program promotes waste?

I am on the food program and have been for a LOOOOONG time and I rarely throw anything away.

Playing games, supporting the kids while they eat, scooping and assisting are not things the food program frowns on




OK I couldn;t remember how to quote I am very sorry

In our Food Program you are not allowed to let a child sit eating after the others are done. if they refuse to eat then you must throw their food away.

Also, here I am not allowed to serve left overs - even if the food is good for another meal.

Now I can serve smaller portions (and allow for 2nds or 3rds), dismiss other kids and sit one on one with the ones having eating issues and serve left overs. All without inspections and without waste!

I had a huge stress lifted the day I made the call to quit the program.

Also, those who serve Family Style, are you on the food program? Our Food Program doesn't allow us to serve this way. Each portion must be measured out to each individual child on their own plates/bowls
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Blackcat31 09:23 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Mrs. CC:


OK I couldn;t remember how to quote I am very sorry

In our Food Program you are not allowed to let a child sit eating after the others are done. if they refuse to eat then you must throw their food away.

Also, here I am not allowed to serve left overs - even if the food is good for another meal.

Now I can serve smaller portions (and allow for 2nds or 3rds), dismiss other kids and sit one on one with the ones having eating issues and serve left overs. All without inspections and without waste!

I had a huge stress lifted the day I made the call to quit the program.

Also, those who serve Family Style, are you on the food program? Our Food Program doesn't allow us to serve this way. Each portion must be measured out to each individual child on their own plates/bowls
Oh, okay...that explains alot then...

Here, the food program says I only need have the correct portions AVAILABLE (not necessarily on their plates) so that cuts down on waste right there. Also, I can have kids eat at all sorts of different paces and they are not required to all be doing it at the same time (just within the time frame of when I said lunch/snack would be).

I can also serve each and every kid a separate meal as long as each meal meets the required meal components. I can do left overs (Not food from others'plates) and oftendo on Fridays. But again, as long as the food meets the meal requirements.

The food program confuses me in that each state, area, community, sponser...whatever....seems to do things differently even though the food program is a Federally funded one.
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Cat Herder 09:35 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
whats family style.
For me:

I set the table and have kids sit in front of an empty plate. I serve everyone from big dishes, kept on the stove between servings, just like the family dinner table.

I tweaked it a bit to help the kids eat their veggies.... When they are at their most hungry is when I offer veggies.

I serve the veggies then s---l---o---w---l---y, make my way back around with meats. Next up fruits, breads then milk.

Seconds go in the same exact order until everyone stops eating and asks to clear their plate.

It works for me.
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Country Kids 09:38 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
For me:

I set the table and have kids sit in front of an empty plate. I serve everyone from big dishes, just like the family dinner table.

I tweaked it a bit to help the kids eat their veggies.... When they are at their most hungry is when I offer veggies.

I serve the veggies then s---l---o---w---l---y, make my way back around with meats. Next up fruits, breads then milk.

Seconds go in the same exact order until everyone stops eating and asks to clear their plate.

It works for me.
This is what I've been wanting to but a few questions I have!

What do you do with the ones that won't eat the veggies? I have one that starts the minute I say lunch time carrying on because of veggies-they are even this way about fruit=

Do you serve the next thing or do you have them eat what is on their plate?
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Country Kids 09:41 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Oh, okay...that explains alot then...

Here, the food program says I only need have the correct portions AVAILABLE (not necessarily on their plates) so that cuts down on waste right there. Also, I can have kids eat at all sorts of different paces and they are not required to all be doing it at the same time (just within the time frame of when I said lunch/snack would be).

I can also serve each and every kid a separate meal as long as each meal meets the required meal components. I can do left overs (Not food from others'plates) and oftendo on Fridays. But again, as long as the food meets the meal requirements.

The food program confuses me in that each state, area, community, sponser...whatever....seems to do things differently even though the food program is a Federally funded one.
I have often wondered why the rules are different! Especially the things the schools can serve and we can't, makes me made sometimes.
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Cat Herder 09:51 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
This is what I've been wanting to but a few questions I have!

What do you do with the ones that won't eat the veggies? I have one that starts the minute I say lunch time carrying on because of veggies-they are even this way about fruit=

Do you serve the next thing or do you have them eat what is on their plate?
I don't play into it, at all. No eye contact if they are being obnoxious, no discussion. I serve each item, in order, for each kid, everytime.

If they don't eat most the first servings of everything (other than a KNOWN TRUE DISLIKE), they don't get seconds of anything.

I currently only have one child who will not eat green beans (gags, cries REAL tears, BUT used to try). He will rip your hand off for broccoli, turnip greens or brussel sprouts....so I make a bit of those on green bean days. They are better for him, anyway.

If it turns into a tantrum disrupting everyone else from eating...they just go to their napmat until they are ready to come back to the table. If they miss lunch, they miss lunch. It would be a RARE occurrence with snack following nap, anyway.
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Kim 10:10 AM 02-03-2012
I'm on the food program too and only put a little on their plates at a time so I'm not wasting food. I guess it could be considered family style only the large container of whatever I'm serving stays on the counter- not within reach of germy little hands. If they want more I have more available and will serve it to them.
I also have a rule that nothing negative is to be said at the table. If you don't like something- fine, don't eat it but there is no need to say anything negative about the food on your plate because once one kid says it's gross they all think it's gross. It's a part of practicing polite table manners.
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christinaskids 10:53 AM 02-03-2012
I have the opposite problem! Most of my kids seem to eat too much. The hubs was arguing with me that a four year old that was still complaining of hunger after eating two whole grilled cheese, fruit, and two serving of soup should have more. Haha. If the little ones are pucky, i swerve what im supposed to in teeny portions and if they dont eat, then they can wait til snack. If someone misbehaves or complains or says yuck, then they immediately get down and wait for the other kids to get done before they can eat. Always only happens once.
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