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Old 08-19-2014, 10:32 PM
BigLittleHomeDaycare's Avatar
BigLittleHomeDaycare BigLittleHomeDaycare is offline Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 27
Default Can I Come With You?

I just started a 3 year old boy who wants to follow me everywhere. He plays fine on his own, but often looks for me then asks if he can come with me if he sees me go to another room.

I don't have an open floor plan but there are no doors and rooms are adjacent. - so my main floor is all daycare (kitchen, dining room and huge living room). If I am in the living room play area and have to grab something real QUICK from the kitchen (say my cell phone) he asks to come with me and immediately follows. I often bump into him.

Then there are times I have to transport a younger child to a new space such as outside if they cannot walk down the step. He immediately follows and gets in the way on the stairs, to me its dangerous. Now he is following me upstairs as I lay the babies down for their naps.

He is 3, observant, chatter box (read thinks he can negotiate his day away) and comes with his sister twice a week - I'm wondering if this is some sort of separation anxiety, like an extension when an 6 month old that thinks their mom is gone forever if she leaves the room. And when he follows, sister is right in tow.

Any suggestions to get my little shadow to stay put?
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Old 08-20-2014, 05:41 AM
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Luna Luna is offline Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 811

I used to have a DCG who did that. I did trip over her more than once, too. What I did was, tell her what I was doing. "I'm going to step into the kitchen to grab my phone and I'm going to step right back in here. You can stay right here and watch the door so you can see how quickly I come back." "I'm going to put Junior to bed then come right back downstairs. You can stay here and watch the bottom of the stairs and see when I come back down".
It was a big nuisance to explain myself every time I left her sight, but it was better than knocking her over or her tripping me onto my butt..which actually did happen and made me realize it couldn't go on.
I just thought of something else that might work. Maybe he could hold something for you until you came back. Give him a purpose.
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Old 08-20-2014, 10:44 AM
Andrew91 Andrew91 is offline Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 4

Yeah I would try what the above poster suggested. Have him do something for you until you come back. There is almost always a reason a child becomes attached like that, whether it is seperation anxiety or you are fulfilling something he is missing. I work with school age children at an AP program. I have had kids that are going into 4th grade who follow me around. I normally let them and have no problem with it unless they are stopping me from doing something that I need to.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:31 PM
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BigLittleHomeDaycare BigLittleHomeDaycare is offline Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 27

Thanks for the advice. I am going to try the wait for me at the door and give him something to hold for me. I don't want to hurt him or anyone else I may be carrying if we bump into each other.
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3 year old, follower, separation anxiety, shadow

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