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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>UPDATE On DCM That Breaks Policies Even When Terming!
Angelwings36 07:37 AM 10-07-2011
If you are just reading this thread now you might want to check out the 2 previous threads:
FRUSTRATED WITH DCM!
Dcm breaks my policies even when terming! Ugh!
So within an hour of sending that email on Wednesday I had already wished I hadn’t. For all of you that made the comments not to send an email such as that when angry and in the moment, you were right, and even though I realized that ahead of time my emotions got ahead of me.
I really was (and still am) holding a lot of resentment towards this dcm. It pains me that I did so much for one family and ended up getting the shaft in the end. In 24 months I discounted this mom $6000.00, that’s half of a down payment on a house. For two years I worked for this mom at a measly $1.86/hour. I also worked 3 hours extra a month for her extended Friday hours and 7 hours extra a month for her 20-minute early arrival times all for $1.86/hour. That adds up to 10 hours of my life in a month all for $18.60! I think this would get anyone’s blood boiling!
In the end I do have myself to blame and that makes me even more upset.
When Dcm showed up at 7:10am to drop dcb off and I told her I didn’t open until 7:30am I should have enforced that policy right from the beginning by keeping my door locked until 7:30am on the bell. Unfortunately it was the anxiety for me of hearing her outside my door so early and her son’s banging that continued to make me open the door up. I felt pressured to do so and in terms made a poor business decision. Lesson learned my door will no longer open ever before 7:30am and if I have problems with a client banging on it prior to that I will be firm and tell them NO!
When I changed my Friday closing time to 4:30pm I should have told this mom it was mandatory for her to pick up her son on Fridays by 4:30pm, no exceptions. I should not have worried about hurting her feelings or losing her as a client.
When dcb showed up at daycare with toys in his hands I should have pulled out my contract on the spot and highlighted the area that said no outside toys allowed at the daycare.
When dcm brought dcb not dressed properly for outside play I should have followed my policy and sent her right back home with him to get him dressed properly.
Although I did enforce my no pick up or drop offs during naptime and all children in childcare must have a rest period, what would you all have done when dcm gave you attitude towards this and brought tension in for weeks after? I tried speaking to her about how although I understood her frustrations I have these policies in place for the good of all of the children in my care. I just continued to get attitude from her and she continued to stomp around, huff and puff and throw it in my face that because of me she was missing more time at work or because of me her son was not sleeping well at night. That stress and tension alone makes for a terribly long day and I dreaded greatly seeing her at the beginning and end of everyday.
This was around the time that I told dcm that I would no longer be able to provide services for her at a discounted rate and that her rate would go up $50.00/month over the next 5 months to reach my regular full time rate of $650.00/month.
Dcm said she could not afford to pay the increased daycare rate and that she would either be seeking a cheaper daycare or quitting her job and going on welfare. Then she failed to provide me with a written termination notice. This is were things turned south.
On Wednesday before I sent the email to dcm I received this text message:
“Yeah you should be able to get a raise but to let you know when I get a raise I get $10/hour more a pay check not $100.00. It’s not like I make anywhere near what you do.”
I don’t really understand where the $100.00 comes from but this text was enough to raise my blood pressure, I will tell you.
An hour after I sent dcm the email I called my husband upset and crying on the phone. We both agreed that I could not carry on this way for another 3 weeks so I texted dcm and informed her that with all the tension and stress that was going on between us I had made the decision that I could no longer provide services for her and she didn’t have to worry about finding the extra $200.00 to pay for daycare this month.
Dcm was fine with my decision.
Was I fine with my decision? No, this is what I should have done from the beginning rather than sending a loaded email. Please do not rag on me for my ill decisions as I am doing a good enough job of that myself right now.
So yesterday Dcm’s mother showed up to pick up dcb’s belongings and handed me a sheet of paper that stated:
Received from ***** ******** the sum of $225.00 payment in full and final payment for all contractual obligations for child care for ***** ******* from ****** ***.
Enclosed was $225.00 in cash. She asked me to sign the sheet. I told her that since I was the one to end services with her daughter, she did not owe me anything more but she insisted that I take the money as she felt it was the right thing to do.
I have a few of Dcm’s dvd’s that I plan on dropping off this weekend. When I go to do that should I take the money with me and give it back to dcm?
Thanks.
FRUSTRATED WITH DCM!
Dcm breaks my policies even when terming! Ugh!
So within an hour of sending that email on Wednesday I had already wished I hadn’t. For all of you that made the comments not to send an email such as that when angry and in the moment, you were right, and even though I realized that ahead of time my emotions got ahead of me.
I really was (and still am) holding a lot of resentment towards this dcm. It pains me that I did so much for one family and ended up getting the shaft in the end. In 24 months I discounted this mom $6000.00, that’s half of a down payment on a house. For two years I worked for this mom at a measly $1.86/hour. I also worked 3 hours extra a month for her extended Friday hours and 7 hours extra a month for her 20-minute early arrival times all for $1.86/hour. That adds up to 10 hours of my life in a month all for $18.60! I think this would get anyone’s blood boiling!
In the end I do have myself to blame and that makes me even more upset.
When Dcm showed up at 7:10am to drop dcb off and I told her I didn’t open until 7:30am I should have enforced that policy right from the beginning by keeping my door locked until 7:30am on the bell. Unfortunately it was the anxiety for me of hearing her outside my door so early and her son’s banging that continued to make me open the door up. I felt pressured to do so and in terms made a poor business decision. Lesson learned my door will no longer open ever before 7:30am and if I have problems with a client banging on it prior to that I will be firm and tell them NO!
When I changed my Friday closing time to 4:30pm I should have told this mom it was mandatory for her to pick up her son on Fridays by 4:30pm, no exceptions. I should not have worried about hurting her feelings or losing her as a client.
When dcb showed up at daycare with toys in his hands I should have pulled out my contract on the spot and highlighted the area that said no outside toys allowed at the daycare.
When dcm brought dcb not dressed properly for outside play I should have followed my policy and sent her right back home with him to get him dressed properly.
Although I did enforce my no pick up or drop offs during naptime and all children in childcare must have a rest period, what would you all have done when dcm gave you attitude towards this and brought tension in for weeks after? I tried speaking to her about how although I understood her frustrations I have these policies in place for the good of all of the children in my care. I just continued to get attitude from her and she continued to stomp around, huff and puff and throw it in my face that because of me she was missing more time at work or because of me her son was not sleeping well at night. That stress and tension alone makes for a terribly long day and I dreaded greatly seeing her at the beginning and end of everyday.
This was around the time that I told dcm that I would no longer be able to provide services for her at a discounted rate and that her rate would go up $50.00/month over the next 5 months to reach my regular full time rate of $650.00/month.
Dcm said she could not afford to pay the increased daycare rate and that she would either be seeking a cheaper daycare or quitting her job and going on welfare. Then she failed to provide me with a written termination notice. This is were things turned south.
On Wednesday before I sent the email to dcm I received this text message:
“Yeah you should be able to get a raise but to let you know when I get a raise I get $10/hour more a pay check not $100.00. It’s not like I make anywhere near what you do.”
I don’t really understand where the $100.00 comes from but this text was enough to raise my blood pressure, I will tell you.
An hour after I sent dcm the email I called my husband upset and crying on the phone. We both agreed that I could not carry on this way for another 3 weeks so I texted dcm and informed her that with all the tension and stress that was going on between us I had made the decision that I could no longer provide services for her and she didn’t have to worry about finding the extra $200.00 to pay for daycare this month.
Dcm was fine with my decision.
Was I fine with my decision? No, this is what I should have done from the beginning rather than sending a loaded email. Please do not rag on me for my ill decisions as I am doing a good enough job of that myself right now.
So yesterday Dcm’s mother showed up to pick up dcb’s belongings and handed me a sheet of paper that stated:
Received from ***** ******** the sum of $225.00 payment in full and final payment for all contractual obligations for child care for ***** ******* from ****** ***.
Enclosed was $225.00 in cash. She asked me to sign the sheet. I told her that since I was the one to end services with her daughter, she did not owe me anything more but she insisted that I take the money as she felt it was the right thing to do.
I have a few of Dcm’s dvd’s that I plan on dropping off this weekend. When I go to do that should I take the money with me and give it back to dcm?
Thanks.
sharlan 07:46 AM 10-07-2011
No, per your contract, you are owed that money, correct?
DO NOT take the dvds over to their home. MAIL them, cut off all ties with this family. End the stress and drama today.
Yes, you made a lot of mistakes with this family from the beginning. Learn from your mistakes and move on, let it go.
DO NOT take the dvds over to their home. MAIL them, cut off all ties with this family. End the stress and drama today.
Yes, you made a lot of mistakes with this family from the beginning. Learn from your mistakes and move on, let it go.
Blackcat31 07:47 AM 10-07-2011
In my opinion, I feel that you learned a very valuable and tough lesson. Take it for what it's worth and move on. It will take some time to stop feeling hurt and angry but you and the dc mom made mistakes.....oh, well you are human and if you never made a mistake you would never move forward.
As far as your question about what you should ahve done when mom gave you attitude and shoved things in your face about policies, I think you should have ended the relationship at that point. THAT was your first sign that it was going to go down hill from there. If she cannot respect and follow your policies it is not worth trying to have a working relationship....kwim? Now you will be able to spot the signs if something similar should happen again. Next time you will say BTDT and end it before it gets out of hand.
You did the best you could and what is done is done. Move forward and learn. Take the positives from this and don't let it define who you are as a provider.
I think you should keep the money and send the DVD's back in the mail. Have NO further contact with this family and simply be done with it.
(((hugs))) You will survive and be a stronger person/provider/business owner. Tomorrow is another day.
As far as your question about what you should ahve done when mom gave you attitude and shoved things in your face about policies, I think you should have ended the relationship at that point. THAT was your first sign that it was going to go down hill from there. If she cannot respect and follow your policies it is not worth trying to have a working relationship....kwim? Now you will be able to spot the signs if something similar should happen again. Next time you will say BTDT and end it before it gets out of hand.
You did the best you could and what is done is done. Move forward and learn. Take the positives from this and don't let it define who you are as a provider.
I think you should keep the money and send the DVD's back in the mail. Have NO further contact with this family and simply be done with it.
(((hugs))) You will survive and be a stronger person/provider/business owner. Tomorrow is another day.
Zoe 07:47 AM 10-07-2011
Agreed. That is the money that is due to you. Keep it. Frankly I'm shocked that she did that! And mail the dvds.
AnneCordelia 07:49 AM 10-07-2011
Did you sign the reciept of the monies? I would keep every last penny of it and call it a small way to reconcile the $6k you discounted.
My Daycare 07:56 AM 10-07-2011
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
Received from ***** ******** the sum of $225.00 payment in full and final payment for all contractual obligations for child care for ***** ******* from ****** ***.
.
Just making sure, but the dates are starred out. She is not expecting more child care, is she?Received from ***** ******** the sum of $225.00 payment in full and final payment for all contractual obligations for child care for ***** ******* from ****** ***.
.
Angelwings36 08:01 AM 10-07-2011
Per my contract:
A one-month advance written notice when terminating childcare services is required. Families are responsible for their regular payment during that time whether your child is in attendance or not. Families are responsible for their regular payment during that time even if the childcare provider was the one who choose to terminate services. Termination notice can only be given on the 1st of any month.
I am not sure as per contract due to the fact the I pulled an immediate termination that the last $225.00 would be owed to me? Even with the statement I have in my contract:
If the childcare provider is treated inappropriately, disrespected or harassed by the parents childcare services can be immediately terminated by the childcare provider. In this case any fees paid prior will be non-refundable.
I would only be entitled to the money that was paid prior to that day. I have signed off on the contract now and it's pretty irrelevant what it states. It's just that guilty feeling I am having that makes me wonder if keeping the money is the right thing. It might be partly because dcm's mother said she was giving it to me because it was the right thing to do.
I dunno.
A one-month advance written notice when terminating childcare services is required. Families are responsible for their regular payment during that time whether your child is in attendance or not. Families are responsible for their regular payment during that time even if the childcare provider was the one who choose to terminate services. Termination notice can only be given on the 1st of any month.
I am not sure as per contract due to the fact the I pulled an immediate termination that the last $225.00 would be owed to me? Even with the statement I have in my contract:
If the childcare provider is treated inappropriately, disrespected or harassed by the parents childcare services can be immediately terminated by the childcare provider. In this case any fees paid prior will be non-refundable.
I would only be entitled to the money that was paid prior to that day. I have signed off on the contract now and it's pretty irrelevant what it states. It's just that guilty feeling I am having that makes me wonder if keeping the money is the right thing. It might be partly because dcm's mother said she was giving it to me because it was the right thing to do.
I dunno.
Angelwings36 08:02 AM 10-07-2011
Originally Posted by My Daycare:
Just making sure, but the dates are starred out. She is not expecting more child care, is she?
It was dated at the top of the page for October 6th. I believe that by signing this paper my contract with dcm then becomes void so she can't demand any further childcare services from me? Correct?Just making sure, but the dates are starred out. She is not expecting more child care, is she?
AfterSchoolMom 08:11 AM 10-07-2011
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
It was dated at the top of the page for October 6th. I believe that by signing this paper my contract with dcm then becomes void so she can't demand any further childcare services from me? Correct?
I'd say the opposite - it's so that you can't demand any further money from them.It was dated at the top of the page for October 6th. I believe that by signing this paper my contract with dcm then becomes void so she can't demand any further childcare services from me? Correct?
Angelwings36 08:18 AM 10-07-2011
Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
I'd say the opposite - it's so that you can't demand any further money from them.
lol except they paid me an extra $225.00? And I'm sitting on the termination letter dated to end services for November 1st, so what money more could I demand? lolI'd say the opposite - it's so that you can't demand any further money from them.
I do get what your saying though.
daycare 08:46 AM 10-07-2011
take a deep breath and know that its all over with. Of course you arew going to have crazy emotions over this, it was quite stressful and dramatic.
I would keep the money, send her the movies via regular mail. Leave it at that. You never know what this mom will do if you physically go over to her house. She could be nice one minute and then crazy the next.
TGIF! Now go celebrate for you that this is over and maybe take a little of that money to buy yourself a massage or something like that...
I would keep the money, send her the movies via regular mail. Leave it at that. You never know what this mom will do if you physically go over to her house. She could be nice one minute and then crazy the next.
TGIF! Now go celebrate for you that this is over and maybe take a little of that money to buy yourself a massage or something like that...
cheerfuldom 08:47 AM 10-07-2011
i really feel for you. you learned a very, very hard lesson. but don't beat yourself up over. its over and you did learn from it and you can't go back and change anything. people make mistakes. i am positive all of us providers have made similar mistakes in doing "extra" for families and getting burnt by it. you did that because you are a kind and loving person and unfortunately, the other person was not grateful for it. in the future, do not allow attitude. if a parent is huffing and puffing about something, kindly remind them that to remain with your daycare they must accept your policies. if they do not agree with and support your policies than they are welcome to find another daycare at any time. do not ever let a family bring so much stress into your life.
i just termed a part time family. in the past i might have dragged this process on, trying to make it work. but i know from experience that if it is not working, time rarely ever changes anything so i termed. you live and learn, you know?
i just termed a part time family. in the past i might have dragged this process on, trying to make it work. but i know from experience that if it is not working, time rarely ever changes anything so i termed. you live and learn, you know?
MyAngels 10:54 AM 10-07-2011
Personally, I would consider this a win-win-win-win situation, and here's why:
Win - You are done with a family that not only cost you money each and every month, but who caused you plenty of stress as well.
Win- You ended up getting paid for services that you were entitled to, even though you thought you might have to fight her for it.
Win - you learned many valuable lessons that you can use each and every year that you continue in this business.
Win - You taught DCM a valuable lesson - you cannot treat your provider with complete disrespect without consequences.
So, turn that frown upside down and find yourself a wonderful daycare family to fill that spot.
Win - You are done with a family that not only cost you money each and every month, but who caused you plenty of stress as well.
Win- You ended up getting paid for services that you were entitled to, even though you thought you might have to fight her for it.
Win - you learned many valuable lessons that you can use each and every year that you continue in this business.
Win - You taught DCM a valuable lesson - you cannot treat your provider with complete disrespect without consequences.
So, turn that frown upside down and find yourself a wonderful daycare family to fill that spot
.