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Old 06-29-2015, 09:41 AM
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Desi Desi is offline
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Angry I'm not your personal slave #2

Good morning all! For those of you who have read my very first post in this forum, this is part 2.

After that incident with DCM about my family emergency, things just weren't the same. I became annoyed with DCM even speaking and was seriously thinking about writing up a termination letter to give her two weeks to look for care elsewhere. During this time, DCM was showing up well beyond my closing time. I close at 6pm and she was showing up at 6:30, 6:45, 7:15, 7:40 ams even 8:00!! as if I don't have a life and family of my own; always at the door with an excuse. Even drop offs became extremely excruciating as she would just open the door and let herself in without as much as a knock. Even after I started being very diligent about keeping the screen door locked, I would know she was at my door because I would hear someone trying to turn the door knob back and fourth as she was trying to unhinge the lock or something(?)

It was Monday morning and payment was due, she was already behind 1 week of pay. DCM made excused as to why she could not get to the bank...she was in the middle of a re-model at her home and had a lot on her plate (as if that is my problem?!) Again, she was my very first client so I did let a lot of things that bothered me, slide--BIG MISTAKE and NEVER AGAIN. Come to the end of that week (Friday) and now she owes me two weeks worth of pay for care which I already rendered.

My husband and I had a dinner reservation at 7:00pm for my mother-in-laws birthday and we were expecting a lot of family there. So, 6:00pm rolls around and there is no sign of this DCM, I go to get my phone to start calling her and she calls at 6:10pm, not before I closed, but 10 mins after, she begins to say that she is running late because she was in downtown Los Angeles picking out the stone for her new kitchen and would be here at 7!! I was infuriated and advised her that she needed to somehow be here now! I went on to tell her that I have plans with my family and did not appreciate her lack of consideration and disrespect for my time! She was off of work at around 3pm that day, she took advantage to run her own errands on my time! I had my purse in hand, my husband had our son ready and shoes on as we all waited by the front door for her arrival, she finally shows up at 6:45pm and rushed her child out. I said to her if she had my payment for the last two weeks and she of course did not and promised to bring it on the following Monday. I said nothing as I was stunned and shocked, I felt a burning in the pit of my stomach.

That Friday night, I could not sleep, I was tossing and turning thinking about what I need to do. 6:00 am on Saturday, I sent her a text message demanding that she bring the $380 that she owed me no later than Monday or I would not be able to watch DCB. I heard nothing from her as I was laying in bed with my son and daughter watching Frozen. 9:00am rolls around I hear a "hellllllllooooo" at my door. I jump out of bed to throw on a sweatshirt and stumble out to my living room only to find this DCM standing in my living room...she let herself in!!!! My husband must have left the screen door unlocked on his out to work that morning (mind you, the screen door doesn't always latch with the lock, its faulty and have been pestering my husband to fix it)

So she is standing there and says "Oh! I got your text message and rushed over here as soon as I could to bring your payment, it sounded like you really needed the money" --very condescending.

I wanted to ask her if she has to chase down her money after her work week? I wanted to ask her if she has to pester her boss on the weekend to get paid but I was so insulted by her comment, that I stayed quiet, didn't mutter a single word to her as she counted out the money to me as if I were a child. She left promptly and said she would see me Monday. I said under my breath, "no you won't". I wanted to wait last minute to term her, I didn't want to be considerate after all the problems she caused.

Sunday, Fathers day, at 4:00pm I send her this text: Regarding our current business relationship, I have decided to NOT pursue anymore business with you and look into other opportunities. Effective IMMEDIATELY, I can no longer accept DCB. Thank you for the opprotunity to provide a service and wish you and your family the best of luck! Normally, this would not be my way of handling this, but things between me and DCM were so far gone that I just didn't care anymore, I didn't care to give her time, I didn't care to offer other resources. I WAS BEYOND DONE. Shortly after this message was sent, DCM began to call my phone over and over again, she was calling me "rude" and "unprofessional" I didn't care to open up a conversation with her, I already said what I had to say and that was the end of it. She was texting me and calling me names and I ignored all her calls, all her texts.

The next day, Monday, DCM came banging on my front door and I didn't open it. She went over to my car to leave me a note. Finally, my husband called her himself and advised her to leave me alone, to not harass me or my business or the police will be notified. Since that phone call, ex-DCM stopped with the text messages, and phone calls and I have not heard of her since. I wonder what she wanted banging on my door, was she going to fight me? The nightmare is all over now. I just wish there was some way I can warn other daycares about this particullar family.
Since this incident I re-wrote my entire contract that is strict and stern. At least this way, I will be able to weed out the bad apples and folks that will try to take advantage. I will never again put myself in this situation even if it means that I won't have kinds pouring into my home-I'm okay with that.

This was a learning experience for me and I learned! I will never be a welcome matt ever again! This is MY business! I read what someone in this forum once said, something along the lines of: If I don't follow my own rules/policies, neither will these parents. This will be my own personal motto, if parents don't like my policies, there is the door!!

Last edited by Blackcat31; 06-29-2015 at 09:59 AM. Reason: added spacing for easier reading :-)
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  #2  
Old 06-29-2015, 10:16 AM
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Annalee Annalee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Desi View Post
Good morning all! For those of you who have read my very first post in this forum, this is part 2.

After that incident with DCM about my family emergency, things just weren't the same. I became annoyed with DCM even speaking and was seriously thinking about writing up a termination letter to give her two weeks to look for care elsewhere. During this time, DCM was showing up well beyond my closing time. I close at 6pm and she was showing up at 6:30, 6:45, 7:15, 7:40 ams even 8:00!! as if I don't have a life and family of my own; always at the door with an excuse. Even drop offs became extremely excruciating as she would just open the door and let herself in without as much as a knock. Even after I started being very diligent about keeping the screen door locked, I would know she was at my door because I would hear someone trying to turn the door knob back and fourth as she was trying to unhinge the lock or something(?)

It was Monday morning and payment was due, she was already behind 1 week of pay. DCM made excused as to why she could not get to the bank...she was in the middle of a re-model at her home and had a lot on her plate (as if that is my problem?!) Again, she was my very first client so I did let a lot of things that bothered me, slide--BIG MISTAKE and NEVER AGAIN. Come to the end of that week (Friday) and now she owes me two weeks worth of pay for care which I already rendered.

My husband and I had a dinner reservation at 7:00pm for my mother-in-laws birthday and we were expecting a lot of family there. So, 6:00pm rolls around and there is no sign of this DCM, I go to get my phone to start calling her and she calls at 6:10pm, not before I closed, but 10 mins after, she begins to say that she is running late because she was in downtown Los Angeles picking out the stone for her new kitchen and would be here at 7!! I was infuriated and advised her that she needed to somehow be here now! I went on to tell her that I have plans with my family and did not appreciate her lack of consideration and disrespect for my time! She was off of work at around 3pm that day, she took advantage to run her own errands on my time! I had my purse in hand, my husband had our son ready and shoes on as we all waited by the front door for her arrival, she finally shows up at 6:45pm and rushed her child out. I said to her if she had my payment for the last two weeks and she of course did not and promised to bring it on the following Monday. I said nothing as I was stunned and shocked, I felt a burning in the pit of my stomach.

That Friday night, I could not sleep, I was tossing and turning thinking about what I need to do. 6:00 am on Saturday, I sent her a text message demanding that she bring the $380 that she owed me no later than Monday or I would not be able to watch DCB. I heard nothing from her as I was laying in bed with my son and daughter watching Frozen. 9:00am rolls around I hear a "hellllllllooooo" at my door. I jump out of bed to throw on a sweatshirt and stumble out to my living room only to find this DCM standing in my living room...she let herself in!!!! My husband must have left the screen door unlocked on his out to work that morning (mind you, the screen door doesn't always latch with the lock, its faulty and have been pestering my husband to fix it)

So she is standing there and says "Oh! I got your text message and rushed over here as soon as I could to bring your payment, it sounded like you really needed the money" --very condescending.

I wanted to ask her if she has to chase down her money after her work week? I wanted to ask her if she has to pester her boss on the weekend to get paid but I was so insulted by her comment, that I stayed quiet, didn't mutter a single word to her as she counted out the money to me as if I were a child. She left promptly and said she would see me Monday. I said under my breath, "no you won't". I wanted to wait last minute to term her, I didn't want to be considerate after all the problems she caused.

Sunday, Fathers day, at 4:00pm I send her this text: Regarding our current business relationship, I have decided to NOT pursue anymore business with you and look into other opportunities. Effective IMMEDIATELY, I can no longer accept DCB. Thank you for the opprotunity to provide a service and wish you and your family the best of luck! Normally, this would not be my way of handling this, but things between me and DCM were so far gone that I just didn't care anymore, I didn't care to give her time, I didn't care to offer other resources. I WAS BEYOND DONE. Shortly after this message was sent, DCM began to call my phone over and over again, she was calling me "rude" and "unprofessional" I didn't care to open up a conversation with her, I already said what I had to say and that was the end of it. She was texting me and calling me names and I ignored all her calls, all her texts.

The next day, Monday, DCM came banging on my front door and I didn't open it. She went over to my car to leave me a note. Finally, my husband called her himself and advised her to leave me alone, to not harass me or my business or the police will be notified. Since that phone call, ex-DCM stopped with the text messages, and phone calls and I have not heard of her since. I wonder what she wanted banging on my door, was she going to fight me? The nightmare is all over now. I just wish there was some way I can warn other daycares about this particullar family.
Since this incident I re-wrote my entire contract that is strict and stern. At least this way, I will be able to weed out the bad apples and folks that will try to take advantage. I will never again put myself in this situation even if it means that I won't have kinds pouring into my home-I'm okay with that.

This was a learning experience for me and I learned! I will never be a welcome matt ever again! This is MY business! I read what someone in this forum once said, something along the lines of: If I don't follow my own rules/policies, neither will these parents. This will be my own personal motto, if parents don't like my policies, there is the door!!
Yay for you standing up for yourself. And yes, providers have many learning experiences...as soon as one thing gets fixed, it seems another pops up. But with experiences these issues become less and less. Stand firm and take care of you and your family first and foremost ALWAYS!
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Old 06-29-2015, 10:22 AM
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Shell Shell is offline
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Wow! That was quite a story!

That dcm was beyond rude and disrespectful to you and you did a fantastic job remaining professional and not playing along with her childish behaviors!

Glad to hear you have tightened up the contract and everything. I can't even imagine a parent showing up like that- yikes!

I think you are probably quoting Blackcat- she's so knowledgeable and has helped so many of us.

Best of luck going forward!
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Old 06-29-2015, 11:58 AM
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Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
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Just remember that a good handbook and contract mean nothing if you don't stick with them. Let one thing slide, and many parents think that means that you will let everything slide. I also hope you new policies state you get paid BEFORE providing services! You are lucky to be rid of that one, I am so glad you let her go.
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Old 06-29-2015, 01:16 PM
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Jujube835 Jujube835 is offline
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That's all I've got.
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  #6  
Old 06-29-2015, 01:20 PM
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Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
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I am glad you a rid of that family but remember (and I mean this in the kindest way possible) - you trained her to treat you that way. You allowed her to bring child when money was owed. You accepted child after a late pick up without paying a late fee. Train the next family to treat you with respect. Follow your own policies. A firm backbone can help train wonderful daycare families, an inability to stick up for yourself and your business can create a dcp monster.

Good luck with the next dcf. The worst families are incredible learning opportunities
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Old 06-29-2015, 01:32 PM
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Laurel Laurel is offline
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Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos View Post
I am glad you a rid of that family but remember (and I mean this in the kindest way possible) - you trained her to treat you that way. You allowed her to bring child when money was owed. You accepted child after a late pick up without paying a late fee. Train the next family to treat you with respect. Follow your own policies. A firm backbone can help train wonderful daycare families, an inability to stick up for yourself and your business can create a dcp monster.

Good luck with the next dcf. The worst families are incredible learning opportunities


You were soooo lucky that she even paid you. There are many horror stories when your exact situation occurred and the provider never got paid.

Good for you for seeing the light!

Laurel
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Old 06-29-2015, 01:36 PM
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Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
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You were soooo lucky that she even paid you. There are many horror stories when your exact situation occurred and the provider never got paid.

Good for you for seeing the light!

Laurel
That was my experience the first time I did child care and the reason I quit. I am still working on making my backbone stronger, but now everyone pays in advance.
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Old 06-29-2015, 03:57 PM
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Good for you! Glad you stood up for yourself!
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Old 06-29-2015, 05:24 PM
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I have no other words.
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Old 06-30-2015, 03:04 AM
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That was my experience the first time I did child care and the reason I quit. I am still working on making my backbone stronger, but now everyone pays in advance.
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Old 06-30-2015, 05:09 AM
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This is an example of why I am paid before care and charge late fees. Glad she is history!!
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Old 06-30-2015, 10:16 AM
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I agree, I also get paid on Mondays for that week.

I am really surprised she paid, and she was probably banging on the door because she expected a big fat notice, or something. Maybe she felt you still had some of child's the things...still doesn't matter.

I have a nut disclaimer whereby the contract is null and void, and like you did it's immediate.
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Old 07-01-2015, 02:39 PM
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Who just walks in to someone's house? And on the weekend? Wtf......
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