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  #1  
Old 07-07-2015, 11:59 AM
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Default Help With Wording a Rejection Letter

I had an interview that was just wretched a few weeks ago. Naughty little two year old boy, crazy helicopter parents, etc. Boy was throwing--more like hurling large objects around the room at the tv, the cat, me... Parents freely admitted they've never been able to successfully take him to the park because he won't play, he just runs for the street non stop. When boy wasn't hurling items around the room, he was running up the stairs twelve times and making his mom chase him. Not joking. Oh, and here's the icing on the cake: he doesn't nap. The only way he can sleep at night is if dad drives him around the block a few times in the car. Or occasionally he'll "let" mom rock him to sleep.

I can spot a headache a mile away, and I definitely don't want this little terror in my group. While ending our interview, I encouraged them to look at many, many daycares, as I do realize it's an enormous decision for a parent. They were very sweet, and I was hoping the problem would work itself out and they would find someone cheaper, closer, more in tune to their needs, anything. You all know what I mean.

Just got an email saying they can't wait to start, and what paperwork do they need to turn in? Help me write a charming, tactful rejection letter please!

*Edit: Also need to add that I'm still advertising for the three spaces I need to fill in late August. I don't want to tell them the spot is full and seem like a liar.
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  #2  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:01 PM
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I'd keep it simple.

"I am sorry--the spot is no longer available." Surely they weren't expecting you to hold it for weeks?

Oh, just saw your edit. Oops.
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  #3  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:06 PM
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Be honest. Tell them that you enjoyed meeting with them but you believe that it isn't a good fit.
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  #4  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:06 PM
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Dear dcf: It was great meeting your family and learning a little about you and dcb. But after careful consideration, I feel my group would not be a good fit for your family.

Thank you for considering abc daycare.
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  #5  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:07 PM
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"Thank you for your interest in my program and taking the time to interview with me. After meeting little one, I am afraid I don't think little darling is a good fit for my program. I would recommend looking for a program with smaller ratios/more outdoors/less structure/more structure/no nap etc. Best of luck, XYZ provider"

Honestly, I would recommend letting parents know within a few days if they seemed interested and you aren't.

Good luck
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  #6  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:09 PM
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I tell parents that just like they are interviewing me, I am doing the same.

I also tell them that I am very selective in who I bring into our program We have a tight knit community of children that all work well together for the benefit of one another.

I would just tell them that based on the behavior that you saw and the fact that the child does not nap, that the child would not be a good fit for your program.

I however, would maybe just focus on the nap... Every child in our care is required to nap daily. Any child who no longer needs a nap has out grown our program.

Do you have a trial period? I would have given it a week and then make the decision. I feel that children will always listen better without parents around. Especially once they learn what the expectation and boundaries are at daycare.
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  #7  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:18 PM
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I'm always in the camp of not hurting people's feelings, so I would just keep it simple, "it was very nice meeting you, at this time the spot is filled...will contact you if anything changes, blah blah".

You just never know if you get desperate, you just might find yourself thinking about taking on this kid in the future. I've had it happen, and although your gut instinct is usually correct, you just never know.
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  #8  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:18 PM
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Thanks for all the ideas! Keep em coming, good stuff! I've pieced together a little from each of your brilliant minds.


Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post

Do you have a trial period? I would have given it a week and then make the decision. I feel that children will always listen better without parents around. Especially once they learn what the expectation and boundaries are at daycare.
I'm laughing at myself right now, because I know I've said this same exact thing to others on this forum, and in real life. However, this little tyrant is probably the worst kiddo I've ever interviewed.
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  #9  
Old 07-07-2015, 12:47 PM
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I would say something along the lines of offering the position to another family based on the children's ages. "I sincerely appreciate you considering me as your care provider, but this particular age group opening was filled by another family." It isn't a negotiable issue, and doesn't put them on the defensive. Then I'd let them know that I will keep their contact information in case something opens up in the future.

Non-napping is such a ridiculous issue these days. I think most DCFs think we providers are lazy if we want them to nap. Never mind the best interests of the child. Yeah, lazy. I watch 8 very young children 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I am l-a-z-y!!!
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  #10  
Old 07-07-2015, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice! View Post
Thanks for all the ideas! Keep em coming, good stuff! I've pieced together a little from each of your brilliant minds.




I'm laughing at myself right now, because I know I've said this same exact thing to others on this forum, and in real life. However, this little tyrant is probably the worst kiddo I've ever interviewed.
I don't doubt that at all. Lately the kids that I am seeing have had jaw dropping behavior, but what was worse was their parents reactions or lack of parenting.

I had a dad tell his kid once, if you do that again i am going to tie you to the roof of the car on the way home. Really dad....are you really going to do that??? NO, I know it and so does he, that was LAME parenting.......

Go with your gut. If you think that there is no way you would deal with it, don't.

However, be careful about lying about the spot being filled. You don't want it to come back and bite you later.

BTDT.....
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  #11  
Old 07-07-2015, 01:18 PM
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"Thank you so much for your interest in my daycare! It was great meeting you and LO, but unfortunately, I don't feel it will be a good fit for my program and wish you the best of luck in your childcare search!"
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  #12  
Old 07-07-2015, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
"Thank you so much for your interest in my daycare! It was great meeting you and LO, but unfortunately, I don't feel it will be a good fit for my program and wish you the best of luck in your childcare search!"
winner winner!!!
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  #13  
Old 07-07-2015, 02:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos View Post
"Thank you for your interest in my program and taking the time to interview with me. After meeting little one, I am afraid I don't think little darling is a good fit for my program. I would recommend looking for a program with smaller ratios/more outdoors/less structure/more structure/no nap etc. Best of luck, XYZ provider"

Honestly, I would recommend letting parents know within a few days if they seemed interested and you aren't.

Good luck
This
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  #14  
Old 07-07-2015, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racemom View Post
Dear dcf: It was great meeting your family and learning a little about you and dcb. But after careful consideration, I feel my group would not be a good fit for your family.

Thank you for considering abc daycare.


Then, if she asks why her child isn't a good fit I'd tell her nicely. Gee, someone has to. I would say that while he was visiting he was throwing things around the room and running up and down the stairs. You cannot have toy throwing as you have little ones that could be hurt and you can't leave the others to chase her child up and down the stairs.

Then if she tried to 'talk you into it' I'd use the broken record technique simply repeating "I feel my group would not be a good fit for your family."

Laurel
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  #15  
Old 07-07-2015, 06:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I don't doubt that at all. Lately the kids that I am seeing have had jaw dropping behavior, but what was worse was their parents reactions or lack of parenting.

I had a dad tell his kid once, if you do that again i am going to tie you to the roof of the car on the way home. Really dad....are you really going to do that??? NO, I know it and so does he, that was LAME parenting.......

Go with your gut. If you think that there is no way you would deal with it, don't.

However, be careful about lying about the spot being filled. You don't want it to come back and bite you later.

BTDT.....
I'm with you on the behaviors. I am downright shocked by some of the stuff I see. I have two sibling sets that are amazingly well behaved for me. As soon as the mom shows up, the antics begin. The dad of one of my sib sets came in complaining one day that the kids had smashed his big screen. My jaw just dropped. Good thing parents didn't mention those behaviors during the interview.
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  #16  
Old 07-08-2015, 03:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
"Thank you so much for your interest in my daycare! It was great meeting you and LO, but unfortunately, I don't feel it will be a good fit for my program and wish you the best of luck in your childcare search!"



Short and sweet. Most people won't press the issue and if she DOES, I would just tell her that his energy level needs a program with lower ratios.
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  #17  
Old 07-09-2015, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice! View Post
I had an interview that was just wretched a few weeks ago. Naughty little two year old boy, crazy helicopter parents, etc. Boy was throwing--more like hurling large objects around the room at the tv, the cat, me... Parents freely admitted they've never been able to successfully take him to the park because he won't play, he just runs for the street non stop. When boy wasn't hurling items around the room, he was running up the stairs twelve times and making his mom chase him. Not joking. Oh, and here's the icing on the cake: he doesn't nap. The only way he can sleep at night is if dad drives him around the block a few times in the car. Or occasionally he'll "let" mom rock him to sleep.

I can spot a headache a mile away, and I definitely don't want this little terror in my group. While ending our interview, I encouraged them to look at many, many daycares, as I do realize it's an enormous decision for a parent. They were very sweet, and I was hoping the problem would work itself out and they would find someone cheaper, closer, more in tune to their needs, anything. You all know what I mean.

Just got an email saying they can't wait to start, and what paperwork do they need to turn in? Help me write a charming, tactful rejection letter please!

*Edit: Also need to add that I'm still advertising for the three spaces I need to fill in late August. I don't want to tell them the spot is full and seem like a liar.
Hello Mr. & Mrs ________,

It was a pleasure meeting you on insert date. Insert childís name was a ball of energy.

I donít believe my program is the right fit for your child. I wish you luck in finding an awesome program thatís a perfect fit.

Best regards,
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  #18  
Old 07-09-2015, 03:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post


Then, if she asks why her child isn't a good fit I'd tell her nicely. Gee, someone has to.

Then if she tried to 'talk you into it' I'd use the broken record technique simply repeating "I feel my group would not be a good fit for your family."

Laurel
This would be me also. I'd try the vague "not a good fit" answer and then if they insisted on knowing why ... well, they asked.

I'd be nice, but honest. "There was some concerning behavior during our interview that made me unsure if I could provide the necessary care and attention to your son while still providing the same level of care to my other clients that I have been providing. I thank you for your interest and wish you the best luck in finding a daycare that's a better fit for your child's needs."
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