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  #1  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:02 AM
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Default Would You Term or Keep?

I’m interested in hearing what others think about this family.

I’ve had them 9 months now. One DCG who recently turned 2.
The first few months were fine, no complaints. They pay on time and usually a month at a time (I only require weekly).
I adore DCG and Dad is great too.
Mom on the other hand, I’m getting increasingly annoyed with.

Over the last few months:
1. She tells me little white lies like: “DCD is working late and couldn’t make it here on time” (she’s 5 minutes late)- two minutes later she tells DCG that Dad’s waiting at home sick.
BTW, she paid that late fee in coins the next day. No biggie, but ? If they're ever late, Dad usually pays the late fee and it's in actual bills.
2. She pushed potty training on DCG the day she turned 2. She isn’t ready and I printed my policy, told her what I would need from her to start training (never dressed her appropriately for training and brought her in diapers) and gave her the ultimatum that either she can try potty training here according to my policies or wait until she is developmentally ready- because she is not showing the signs here (doesn't stay dry, no predictable BMs, can barely speak more than 2 words much less pull pants up/down). Mom swore up and down that she does it at home no problem. Two weeks later she let it slip that she puts DCG on the potty for 20 minutes at a time to have her “go” and she has to coerce her to stay there.
3. Mom gave me grief (basically a tantrum) for taking 1 week vacation last Spring. I told her it's 2 months away and there’s options out there for back up care. I was a bit dumbfounded at the time since that has never happened to me before. I should have just stared in disbelief at her and not offered any input! Live & learn.
4. Tells me a few weeks after the above that she’s in jeopardy of losing her job because of all the sick time DCG and she has had to take. BTW, mom stays home with a “migraine” once a week.
5. She’s snarky to the other DCKs. Not mean, but not nice.
6. She requires a special diet for DCG. Not medically necessary- but she’s one of those jump on the bandwagon gluten free types.
7. Two weeks ago she asked me what I do for kids attending preschool. I told her that if she’s asking me if I offer part time, my answer is I do not. I told her I have had kids attend from infant through kindergarten, and it’s up to you if you decide to attend a formal preschool, but I do not offer a part time schedule for 2 year olds. So now I know she's not planning on staying long term.
8. Today she asked me if I had an outline for my preschool curriculum and what I do for parents so that they can work on it at home. ?? I post tons of pictures and information about what we do during the day. TONS. Over the past 9 months she has SEEN this. I think she’s just trying to make me feel inadequate or something.

Based on DCM alone, every time I deal with a scenario she throws at me, I want to term. Then, Dad drops off or picks up and he’s so sweet and easy going (has even plowed my driveway with his truck during the winter). DCG is one of the best kids I’ve ever had too. Would mom be a deal breaker for you?
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  #2  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:23 AM
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laundrymom laundrymom is offline
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I would keep girl if you like her.
It's hard to guess why mom acts this way.
I would answer questions about preschool curriculum by saying that you post things all the time. All she has to do is check in. Or offer to email her the items for a seperate fee.
Here all special diets require a dr note.
As far as potty training..... I don't push to potty learn. They'll do it before prom.
Here they must::
Dress and undress self
Get on and off toilet alone
Tell me when they have to go, and actually go.
Be accident free for four whole weeks before we move to unders.
Be able to wash hands independently.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I’m interested in hearing what others think about this family.

I’ve had them 9 months now. One DCG who recently turned 2.
The first few months were fine, no complaints. They pay on time and usually a month at a time (I only require weekly).
I adore DCG and Dad is great too.
Mom on the other hand, I’m getting increasingly annoyed with.

Over the last few months:
1. She tells me little white lies like: “DCD is working late and couldn’t make it here on time” (she’s 5 minutes late)- two minutes later she tells DCG that Dad’s waiting at home sick.
BTW, she paid that late fee in coins the next day. No biggie, but ? If they're ever late, Dad usually pays the late fee and it's in actual bills.
2. She pushed potty training on DCG the day she turned 2. She isn’t ready and I printed my policy, told her what I would need from her to start training (never dressed her appropriately for training and brought her in diapers) and gave her the ultimatum that either she can try potty training here according to my policies or wait until she is developmentally ready- because she is not showing the signs here (doesn't stay dry, no predictable BMs, can barely speak more than 2 words much less pull pants up/down). Mom swore up and down that she does it at home no problem. Two weeks later she let it slip that she puts DCG on the potty for 20 minutes at a time to have her “go” and she has to coerce her to stay there.
3. Mom gave me grief (basically a tantrum) for taking 1 week vacation last Spring. I told her it's 2 months away and there’s options out there for back up care. I was a bit dumbfounded at the time since that has never happened to me before. I should have just stared in disbelief at her and not offered any input! Live & learn.
4. Tells me a few weeks after the above that she’s in jeopardy of losing her job because of all the sick time DCG and she has had to take. BTW, mom stays home with a “migraine” once a week.
5. She’s snarky to the other DCKs. Not mean, but not nice.
6. She requires a special diet for DCG. Not medically necessary- but she’s one of those jump on the bandwagon gluten free types.
7. Two weeks ago she asked me what I do for kids attending preschool. I told her that if she’s asking me if I offer part time, my answer is I do not. I told her I have had kids attend from infant through kindergarten, and it’s up to you if you decide to attend a formal preschool, but I do not offer a part time schedule for 2 year olds. So now I know she's not planning on staying long term.
8. Today she asked me if I had an outline for my preschool curriculum and what I do for parents so that they can work on it at home. ?? I post tons of pictures and information about what we do during the day. TONS. Over the past 9 months she has SEEN this. I think she’s just trying to make me feel inadequate or something.

Based on DCM alone, every time I deal with a scenario she throws at me, I want to term. Then, Dad drops off or picks up and he’s so sweet and easy going (has even plowed my driveway with his truck during the winter). DCG is one of the best kids I’ve ever had too. Would mom be a deal breaker for you?
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  #3  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:28 AM
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mamamanda mamamanda is offline
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If I had kids waiting for a spot I would probably term if I was pretty sure they wouldn't be staying long term anyway. Otherwise I would probably just try to ignore mom. I'd much rather have a sweet dcg with a frustrating mom than a sweet mom with a challenging child. I deal with mom a few minutes out of the day. I deal with the child all day. I would be irritated with mom, but it sounds like she's just trying to get a rise out of you. I'd probably comment nonchalantly when I caught her in a lie so she knew I knew, but didn't care. Lol I don't care why she's late whether traffic, dad's at work, or dad's sick. Either way if she's wasting my personal time she needs to pay for it. If its a mom I didn't like i probably have said something like "Oh dad must be working from him then if he's home sick while working late." Just to be snarky. Then smile big & hold the door open to usher her out.
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  #4  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:29 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I’m interested in hearing what others think about this family.

I’ve had them 9 months now. One DCG who recently turned 2.
The first few months were fine, no complaints. They pay on time and usually a month at a time (I only require weekly).
I adore DCG and Dad is great too.
Mom on the other hand, I’m getting increasingly annoyed with.

Over the last few months:
1. She tells me little white lies like: “DCD is working late and couldn’t make it here on time” (she’s 5 minutes late)- two minutes later she tells DCG that Dad’s waiting at home sick.
BTW, she paid that late fee in coins the next day. No biggie, but ? If they're ever late, Dad usually pays the late fee and it's in actual bills.
2. She pushed potty training on DCG the day she turned 2. She isn’t ready and I printed my policy, told her what I would need from her to start training (never dressed her appropriately for training and brought her in diapers) and gave her the ultimatum that either she can try potty training here according to my policies or wait until she is developmentally ready- because she is not showing the signs here (doesn't stay dry, no predictable BMs, can barely speak more than 2 words much less pull pants up/down). Mom swore up and down that she does it at home no problem. Two weeks later she let it slip that she puts DCG on the potty for 20 minutes at a time to have her “go” and she has to coerce her to stay there.
3. Mom gave me grief (basically a tantrum) for taking 1 week vacation last Spring. I told her it's 2 months away and there’s options out there for back up care. I was a bit dumbfounded at the time since that has never happened to me before. I should have just stared in disbelief at her and not offered any input! Live & learn.
4. Tells me a few weeks after the above that she’s in jeopardy of losing her job because of all the sick time DCG and she has had to take. BTW, mom stays home with a “migraine” once a week.
5. She’s snarky to the other DCKs. Not mean, but not nice.
6. She requires a special diet for DCG. Not medically necessary- but she’s one of those jump on the bandwagon gluten free types.
7. Two weeks ago she asked me what I do for kids attending preschool. I told her that if she’s asking me if I offer part time, my answer is I do not. I told her I have had kids attend from infant through kindergarten, and it’s up to you if you decide to attend a formal preschool, but I do not offer a part time schedule for 2 year olds. So now I know she's not planning on staying long term.
8. Today she asked me if I had an outline for my preschool curriculum and what I do for parents so that they can work on it at home. ?? I post tons of pictures and information about what we do during the day. TONS. Over the past 9 months she has SEEN this. I think she’s just trying to make me feel inadequate or something.

Based on DCM alone, every time I deal with a scenario she throws at me, I want to term. Then, Dad drops off or picks up and he’s so sweet and easy going (has even plowed my driveway with his truck during the winter). DCG is one of the best kids I’ve ever had too. Would mom be a deal breaker for you?
I am sure others may disagree but if I can easily rattle off 8 things about a situation that annoy me, I'd term.

Unless I am being paid a literal fortune, there is not enough in it to make it worth for me to deal with all of that.

She (DCM) seems to be one of those "pay attention to me" type parents and creates an "issue" where there are none so she can either make a comment (especially when none was asked for) or so they can have a discussion with you about their child (again attention seeking) or so they can be the one who runs the show.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

The part about losing her job would have had me terming on the spot. DO NOT guilt trip me when it's YOUR child. kwim?

Also dad might be nice and sweet but nice and sweet don't pay your bills or eliminate your stress in this situation and perhaps he is nice and sweet because he knows mom is HIGH maintenance... still not your problem.

Oh, and the late fee... the point is to make it high enough so that they stop being late. I don't want the money when parents are late...I want the time they took from me. I have a late fee of $1 per minute the first time, $2 a minute the second time and termination the 3rd time. It's not about the money. It's about respecting you and your time.

As for the lies mom tells..... Id call her out but I am also very open and honest about that kind of thing but the little white lies are another clue that it really isn't about anything other than her needing attention.

So after that long answer...the short answer is I'd term.

HTH
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  #5  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:37 AM
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childcaremom childcaremom is offline
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I'm going to agree with Blackcat. I'd be done. All the same reasoning.

There are enough good families out there that would not make it worth it to keep a problem one.
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  #6  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:48 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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Sounds like you have hit the "BEC" wall. (Look at that $!#@% over there eating crackers like she owns the place!)

You will have to disconnect your buttons and stop keeping score in order to make this work. She has seen where you keep them...

Seems most of my (>female<) clients get this way towards the holidays, school starting or tax time.... I have a well practiced ignore function now.

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  #7  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:55 AM
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daycarediva daycarediva is offline
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I would have been done. I would have called her out on the white lies. I would have NOT accommodated a special diet without a medical note. I would have reminded her of your exit policy when she spoke about preschool. Buh bye!
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  #8  
Old 09-02-2015, 09:58 AM
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Play Care Play Care is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I would have been done. I would have called her out on the white lies. I would have NOT accommodated a special diet without a medical note. I would have reminded her of your exit policy when she spoke about preschool. Buh bye!
Yup. I don't care how sweet a dck is, I refuse to be bullied by a client.
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