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Unregistered 02:07 PM 08-10-2015
Ok everybody, I have been lurking here for awhile getting tips on parenting and how to raise my SD5 and I desperately need advice now.
My SD5 has recently been diagnosed with developmental delays, an expressive/receptive language disorder, PDD-NOS, anxiety, and ADHD.
DH has primary custody so SD lives with us full time and is supposed to go to her mothers every other weekend but that varies some.
I have noticed very manipulative behavior from her from the very beginning. I waffled back and forth between thinking she was actually developmentally delayed and thinking she wasn't she was just manipulating everyone around her into doing things for her so she doesn't have to. I now think it is a combination. Basically, she will do things wrong on purpose. Things that she has been doing for herself for weeks or months. For example, the other day I dropped her off at dc and she was taking her zipper hoodie off and starts flapping her arms making that "eh eh" grunting sounds kids make when they are struggling. She has been taking her coat off herself for nearly two years now. Yes, it was very late, but I finally made her start doing it herself a few months before her 4th birthday.
The point is she intentionally does things she is fully capable of doing wrong in order to get someone else to do it for her and I have absolutely no idea how to curb that behavior. After speech therapy today the therapist told me she is now unsure how much of SD's speech issues are actual issues and how much is SD just screwing with her head. The therapist can absolutely see SD trying to manipulate her and play the situation. To what end I don't know. I desperately want to get this behavior under control before she is 16 and still acting like this.
Any ideas?
As a side note, may be unrelated but may be affecting it, she came home from her mothers house with a black eye a few months ago. We did what we were supposed to do and reported it and CPS is "investigating." The social worker will be coming to our house once a month to check up on both SD and my daughter to make sure they are ok and going to dc to check on them there but we were told sending a worker to the mothers house on a weekend when she has SD is, and I quote, "not a priority."
I think that incident could have made the behavior worse though this kind of manipulation had been going on for far longer than the last 3 months so I'm not sure how related it is.
My SD5 has recently been diagnosed with developmental delays, an expressive/receptive language disorder, PDD-NOS, anxiety, and ADHD.
DH has primary custody so SD lives with us full time and is supposed to go to her mothers every other weekend but that varies some.
I have noticed very manipulative behavior from her from the very beginning. I waffled back and forth between thinking she was actually developmentally delayed and thinking she wasn't she was just manipulating everyone around her into doing things for her so she doesn't have to. I now think it is a combination. Basically, she will do things wrong on purpose. Things that she has been doing for herself for weeks or months. For example, the other day I dropped her off at dc and she was taking her zipper hoodie off and starts flapping her arms making that "eh eh" grunting sounds kids make when they are struggling. She has been taking her coat off herself for nearly two years now. Yes, it was very late, but I finally made her start doing it herself a few months before her 4th birthday.
The point is she intentionally does things she is fully capable of doing wrong in order to get someone else to do it for her and I have absolutely no idea how to curb that behavior. After speech therapy today the therapist told me she is now unsure how much of SD's speech issues are actual issues and how much is SD just screwing with her head. The therapist can absolutely see SD trying to manipulate her and play the situation. To what end I don't know. I desperately want to get this behavior under control before she is 16 and still acting like this.
Any ideas?
As a side note, may be unrelated but may be affecting it, she came home from her mothers house with a black eye a few months ago. We did what we were supposed to do and reported it and CPS is "investigating." The social worker will be coming to our house once a month to check up on both SD and my daughter to make sure they are ok and going to dc to check on them there but we were told sending a worker to the mothers house on a weekend when she has SD is, and I quote, "not a priority."
I think that incident could have made the behavior worse though this kind of manipulation had been going on for far longer than the last 3 months so I'm not sure how related it is.