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adevonw 07:57 AM 09-07-2013
Hi All,

I have been working in daycare for 16yrs and have come across a 'first' from a new parent.

She seemed nice enough when she toured and was very excited about starting. She is young, going thru a divorce and has two children. The youngest at 9months is in our care. Her first request was a bit quirky but not unheard of, she asked if we would make sure the other kids didn't touch her baby's face. Okay, whatever. Then she asked if we could use hand sanitizer on the baby. I explained to her that we are not allowed to use hand sanitizer (kids or adults) and we have to wash hands. Then my infant room teacher picked him up one day during drop off and gave him a hug and she said she didn't want ANYBODY touching his face, head, etc. Now, we don't kiss the babies on the mouth or anything like that but we hug and squeeze them and play pat a cake and touch their nose, etc. She then proceeded to get out hand sanitizer and wipe the babies face down! But that's not the craziest part...

We had been having parents come in saying that this parent was sitting in the car when they pull up and then they get out after they have come and rung the doorbell (we are a center but have a buzzer and we have to come to the door to let parents in) or that she waits until they are leaving and then comes in as they are going out so she doesn't have to ring the bell. I was hoping that this was just a coincidence but Friday I happened to step outside to go for a walk with a fussy baby and saw her sitting in the car. She didn't see me and I waited and watched. She sat in the car for 40 MINUTES and when the school age kids got off the bus and came in she jumped out of the car and ran in after them. All of this, I assume, to try and surprise us and catch us off guard?!

I am soooo over her. I do not need this hassle or drama. I was hoping that after 3wks she would realize that we are a good and safe place or that she would leave. I am ready to fire her and tell her that she obviously doesn't trust us and that she should find another place she feels safe or stay home. But I wanted to get your opinions. Has anyone every had this experience? What are your suggestions?
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Starburst 08:49 AM 09-07-2013
It sounds like she has OCD (the germ phobia type). Howie Mandel has that type of OCD, once in an interview he said one of his biggest fears is someone breaking into his house and touching all his stuff (not taking it, just touching it). That's also why when he was the host of 'Deal or No Deal' he avoided hugging, high 5ing, and shaking hands with contestants; he only did fist pumps and even then looked uneasy.

Chances are if she continues to project her fears onto her child, they will also develop OCD tendencies. I understand the not letting kids touch the baby's face; I get nervous when older kids get too close to babies too due to germs, as well as the fact that they aren't that gentle/careful as they try to be. But children do need some different germ exposure to help build their immune systems. Babies do need hugs to help with emotional development and using the sense of touch is important for infant cognitive development.

Also, IMHO I would probably report her for the sanitizer because those are not made for infants! It can cause irritated skin (rash/burns), and overtime even health issues (weak immune systems, eczema/dry skin, Asthma/allergies, possibly even skin cancer from all the alcohol exposure on the skin).

http://www.birthologie.com/parenting...e-dirty-truth/
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cheerfuldom 09:31 AM 09-07-2013
What is the problem with her sitting in the parking lot? If you have nothing to hide, who cares? I would rather bring her in and have a non-accusatory, non-confrontational discussion about your concerns and about her actions causing damage to the business relationship. Why not give her a chance and handle this in a more mature way versus just terming with no conversation? If she is truly having some struggles like OCD, banning her from the place is not helpful, and this is coming from someone that has struggled with OCD herself. If there are trust issues going on, what can the two of you together work on so that she feels confident her child is in a safe place. Why not start a dialog with her?
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adevonw 09:54 AM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
What is the problem with her sitting in the parking lot? If you have nothing to hide, who cares? I would rather bring her in and have a non-accusatory, non-confrontational discussion about your concerns and about her actions causing damage to the business relationship. Why not give her a chance and handle this in a more mature way versus just terming with no conversation? If she is truly having some struggles like OCD, banning her from the place is not helpful, and this is coming from someone that has struggled with OCD herself. If there are trust issues going on, what can the two of you together work on so that she feels confident her child is in a safe place. Why not start a dialog with her?
We have no problem with her sitting in the parking lot. The issue is her coming in following the school age kids that get off the bus (the children have expressed concern about that lady who keeps jumping out of the car and following them in when they get off the bus) and parents have expressed concern with her doing the same thing. I am not opposed to talking with her. I'm just wanting some ideas bc I've got to look out for my business as a whole and she is making other parents/kids nervous with her behavior. I have repeatedly asked her if everything is okay, is there anything we can do to make her more comfortable and she says that everything is fine-when clearly it is not. Her son is not in a room with big kids. He's with other infants/toddlers (no older than 18months) and she doesn't want them anywhere near him, which is impossible without isolating him from his friends. I want to do what's best for everyone...

Thanks so much for any opinions or advice!
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Unregistered 11:12 AM 09-07-2013
Could she be so OCD that she is trying to avoid touching the buzzer that countless others have touched throughout the day? Perhaps she is not trying to catch you off guard, but rather is freaked out at the idea of touching the germ laden buzzer before handling her baby.

I couldn't imagine living like.
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racemom 12:02 PM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Could she be so OCD that she is trying to avoid touching the buzzer that countless others have touched throughout the day? Perhaps she is not trying to catch you off guard, but rather is freaked out at the idea of touching the germ laden buzzer before handling her baby.

I couldn't imagine living like.

This was my first thought too. Doesn't want to touch buzzer or door that is being touched by others. We once had a parent ask about cleaning procedures of our daycare, and after telling her everything that is cleaned wiped daily she commented that we didn't wipe the pen parents use to sign in/out with. This was something none of us had ever thought to do!
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jenn 12:06 PM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Could she be so OCD that she is trying to avoid touching the buzzer that countless others have touched throughout the day? Perhaps she is not trying to catch you off guard, but rather is freaked out at the idea of touching the germ laden buzzer before handling her baby.

I couldn't imagine living like.
This is what I was thinking. If she is afraid of germs, she is probably not wanting to touch the buzzer or door handle, so she waits for someone else to enter and just comes in at the same time to avoid touching anything. It may have nothing to do with spying or trying to sneak in, just an aversion to touching possibly germy things.
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MyAngels 12:15 PM 09-07-2013
It just sounds like it's time for a nice, frank chat about what's behind her different behaviors. Whether it's OCD, germs, lack of trust or whatever, you'll never know until you ask.

It sounds like she'd be better of with one-on-one care (i.e., a nanny) no matter what the issues are.
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adevonw 12:22 PM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by jenn:
This is what I was thinking. If she is afraid of germs, she is probably not wanting to touch the buzzer or door handle, so she waits for someone else to enter and just comes in at the same time to avoid touching anything. It may have nothing to do with spying or trying to sneak in, just an aversion to touching possibly germy things.
I never thought of this, thanks so much! So, do you have any suggestions as to how I broach the subject with her? Maybe just say we've had parents express concerns about her waiting in the parking lot and coming in after her and is there anything we can do to address this issue?
If there is some OCD going on I want to be sensitive in how I address it.
Thanks again!
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 01:02 PM 09-07-2013
I think that I would be frank with her and ask if she would like she could give you a call as she is approaching and you could open the door for her.
I wonder how she ever grocery shops!!
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cheerfuldom 02:20 PM 09-07-2013
I would be more specific than asking "are you okay?". bring her in for a private conservation. Be very clear about what you have seen and what you can and cannot allow. "I have notice you sit in your car in the parking lot for X minutes per day X days per week. you then come into the building in the following manner....I have to be honest that this behavior is making other parents nervous because.....for those reasons I have to ask that you drop off in the following manner.....and pick up your child in the following manner.....is this something you can abide by? Here is what we can and cannot promise as far as staff and kids coming into contact with your child.....is this something that works for you or do you need to put in your notice and find other care?"
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Lyss 02:31 PM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would be more specific than asking "are you okay?". bring her in for a private conservation. Be very clear about what you have seen and what you can and cannot allow. "I have notice you sit in your car in the parking lot for X minutes per day X days per week. you then come into the building in the following manner....I have to be honest that this behavior is making other parents nervous because.....for those reasons I have to ask that you drop off in the following manner.....and pick up your child in the following manner.....is this something you can abide by? Here is what we can and cannot promise as far as staff and kids coming into contact with your child.....is this something that works for you or do you need to put in your notice and find other care?"
This is what I would do as well.

As a parent if I saw someone just lurking in their car and then come running in behind me or someone else it would look as though they are sneaking in or breaking in so to speak and I would definitely be concerned about the safety of the children (not that there is any reason to be but from an outsider perspective it could be misconstrued).

I also would not allow her to administer hand sanitizer to the infant's face in the building, especially if its the kind with alcohol, just because it's not something I'm comfortable going on under my roof.
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Lavender 02:43 PM 09-07-2013
We had a parent who had germ issues regarding her infant. What she found worked best for her was to wash her hands in our room's sink after coming in and signing her daughter out before actually handling her daughter. Of course I'm sure that for some people's OCD challenges, even touching all those things prior to washing would still be hard. Good luck, I hope you are able to work together to find a solution that works for all involved.
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Shell 03:22 PM 09-07-2013
I have OCD (although not as severe as this lady), and the whole time I was reading your post, it was clear to me that that is what she is dealing with. It must be really hard for her to put her child in someone else's care-not having control over when another child touches dcg's face, hands, etc- and adults, too. This was a big consideration for me when deciding to keep my kids home.

However, hugs, songs, germs and play are a part of childhood, and she can't expect you not to show her daughter affection, or douse her in hand sanitizer every time someone touches her outside of her comfort zones (hands, feet, etc.). It's something she is going to have to deal with-or she may have to choose to stay home with her own child. I agree a candid conversation about it is needed, as far as what she can expect in regards to other children playing with her child, and how her child will be shown appropriate affection from adults.

I honestly might feel a little attacked if someone specifically called me out on sitting in a parking lot, but if you have to, I understand why you would need to. I do love the idea of her calling when she is in the parking lot so someone can let her in- if you have the staff that can be on call for this kind of thing.
In the end, she might just not be able to handle this, and may need to keep her child home. All you can do is your best to let her know that you sanitize the environment as per licensing, and that staff do not kiss the babies.

Btw, I am so uncomfortable with the sign in pen, that I don't even touch it- I have my own secret stash of pens that no one else has touched.

Best of luck!
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Shell 03:26 PM 09-07-2013
Also, as a side note, the stress of the divorce could send her OCD into overdrive.
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Blackcat31 04:59 PM 09-07-2013
I agree with mrsmichell, I don't think you should outright call her out about her potential OCD as she may very well feel as though she is being attacked.

I would try to be a bit more understanding and accommodating for her. I am not sure what I would say but I know I would try to be sensitive about it and try to get her to know I am speaking to her with her child's best interests at heart....she is going to have to address/face and deal with her OCD each time her child's environment changes as they grow. Daycare, elementary school, sports, friends etc etc..

I personally think that if she was open to it, I'd definitely try to find ways to help without necessarily going out of the way...kwim?

I'd still expect her to follow all rules and polices but finding ways to compromise such as, calling when she is in the parking lot so a staff member can let her in is no big deal at all and would help her and her child build community relations despite her having OCD or some other fear of germs etc...

These things can be tough to live with and I honestly don't believe anyone that suffers from something similar expects special, I think they just want to fit in and be normal.
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lovemykidstoo 06:40 PM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle:
I have OCD (although not as severe as this lady), and the whole time I was reading your post, it was clear to me that that is what she is dealing with. It must be really hard for her to put her child in someone else's care-not having control over when another child touches dcg's face, hands, etc- and adults, too. This was a big consideration for me when deciding to keep my kids home.

However, hugs, songs, germs and play are a part of childhood, and she can't expect you not to show her daughter affection, or douse her in hand sanitizer every time someone touches her outside of her comfort zones (hands, feet, etc.). It's something she is going to have to deal with-or she may have to choose to stay home with her own child. I agree a candid conversation about it is needed, as far as what she can expect in regards to other children playing with her child, and how her child will be shown appropriate affection from adults.

I honestly might feel a little attacked if someone specifically called me out on sitting in a parking lot, but if you have to, I understand why you would need to. I do love the idea of her calling when she is in the parking lot so someone can let her in- if you have the staff that can be on call for this kind of thing.
In the end, she might just not be able to handle this, and may need to keep her child home. All you can do is your best to let her know that you sanitize the environment as per licensing, and that staff do not kiss the babies.

Btw, I am so uncomfortable with the sign in pen, that I don't even touch it- I have my own secret stash of pens that no one else has touched.

Best of luck!
I agree. When reading the initial post, I thought immediately that this had to do with fear of germs and not fear of the care that her child was getting. It's a fine line that you need to walk with her. Really if the other parents know who she is, do they really need to be that freaked out about it? Everyone has a struggle to deal with, this is hers. She is having a fear obviously of touching the door and buzzer. My main concern would be the putting of the sanitizer on the baby's face. That I would have no problem with telling her to stop doing that in my presence.
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kimsdaycare 07:39 AM 09-08-2013
If I spotted her outside waiting I'd probably go out and give the button a swipe with cleaner and see if she takes the opportunity to come up afterward. If so, I'd just do it again next time and give her a knowing wink while doing it. A few times and you would both have a mutual understanding without any awkward conversation, a simple "I may not always get out there for you but I will do my best, we get busy here" with a smile should help make it clear that this is considered a favor out of kindness, not a requirement on your part.

I know that may not even be an option for you, but to me it's the gentlest way to help if she truly is just dealing with an extreme OCD issue.
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Familycare71 11:08 AM 09-08-2013
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I agree. When reading the initial post, I thought immediately that this had to do with fear of germs and not fear of the care that her child was getting. It's a fine line that you need to walk with her. Really if the other parents know who she is, do they really need to be that freaked out about it? Everyone has a struggle to deal with, this is hers. She is having a fear obviously of touching the door and buzzer. My main concern would be the putting of the sanitizer on the baby's face. That I would have no problem with telling her to stop doing that in my presence.
I would think it would be a confidentiality issue to share with parents that you let Sally come In with out buzzing and why.
I would still personally talk directly to her. It doesn't have to be confrontational but for me it would need to be addressed. Until you talk to her you really have no idea what's going on-
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lovemykidstoo 11:21 AM 09-08-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
I would think it would be a confidentiality issue to share with parents that you let Sally come In with out buzzing and why.
I would still personally talk directly to her. It doesn't have to be confrontational but for me it would need to be addressed. Until you talk to her you really have no idea what's going on-
No I don't mean tell the other parents why you think she's behaving that way. I never talk about one parent to another. I'm just saying if she's waiting in her car and walks in behind someone and they know who she is and that she has a child there, what is so scary about it? It's not like it's an unknown person walking in behind her. Not really different than 2 people by chance coming in at the same time and walking in together.
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Mom2TLE 11:52 AM 09-08-2013
Another thing that you might suggest to her is to purchase some wet ones, the ones that are safe for hand and faces and she can use those to wipe her child down upon pick up. They do contain sanitizer but are safer than dousing the baby down with liquid sanitizer.
I also agree with the buzzer I would call her into the office and say
"Hey Sally it appears that you are quite uncomfortable with using the buzzer, some parents have mentioned you piggybacking in when they come in. If it would make you feel more comfortable you are welcome to give us a call when you are ready to come in and we would be glad to let you in that way. It just causes some concern among the other parents that someone is doing this."
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Sunshine74 01:33 PM 09-08-2013
Originally Posted by Mom2TLE:
Another thing that you might suggest to her is to purchase some wet ones, the ones that are safe for hand and faces and she can use those to wipe her child down upon pick up. They do contain sanitizer but are safer than dousing the baby down with liquid sanitizer.
I also agree with the buzzer I would call her into the office and say
"Hey Sally it appears that you are quite uncomfortable with using the buzzer, some parents have mentioned you piggybacking in when they come in. If it would make you feel more comfortable you are welcome to give us a call when you are ready to come in and we would be glad to let you in that way. It just causes some concern among the other parents that someone is doing this."
I think this is a great idea!
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Maria2013 01:40 PM 09-08-2013
Originally Posted by adevonw:
Hi All,

I have been working in daycare for 16yrs and have come across a 'first' from a new parent.

She seemed nice enough when she toured and was very excited about starting. She is young, going thru a divorce and has two children. The youngest at 9months is in our care. Her first request was a bit quirky but not unheard of, she asked if we would make sure the other kids didn't touch her baby's face. Okay, whatever. Then she asked if we could use hand sanitizer on the baby. I explained to her that we are not allowed to use hand sanitizer (kids or adults) and we have to wash hands. Then my infant room teacher picked him up one day during drop off and gave him a hug and she said she didn't want ANYBODY touching his face, head, etc. Now, we don't kiss the babies on the mouth or anything like that but we hug and squeeze them and play pat a cake and touch their nose, etc. She then proceeded to get out hand sanitizer and wipe the babies face down! But that's not the craziest part...

We had been having parents come in saying that this parent was sitting in the car when they pull up and then they get out after they have come and rung the doorbell (we are a center but have a buzzer and we have to come to the door to let parents in) or that she waits until they are leaving and then comes in as they are going out so she doesn't have to ring the bell. I was hoping that this was just a coincidence but Friday I happened to step outside to go for a walk with a fussy baby and saw her sitting in the car. She didn't see me and I waited and watched. She sat in the car for 40 MINUTES and when the school age kids got off the bus and came in she jumped out of the car and ran in after them. All of this, I assume, to try and surprise us and catch us off guard?!

I am soooo over her. I do not need this hassle or drama. I was hoping that after 3wks she would realize that we are a good and safe place or that she would leave. I am ready to fire her and tell her that she obviously doesn't trust us and that she should find another place she feels safe or stay home. But I wanted to get your opinions. Has anyone every had this experience? What are your suggestions?
whatever the reasons might be, I would pull her aside and demand explanations...possibly term
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Hunni Bee 04:06 PM 09-08-2013
I don't know.

This doesn't seem right to me. I'm not sure where ocd came up, but what if it hadn't? What would we say about this mom if the fact that she could be ocd didn't play in?

I'm curious.

Given the outspoken nature of this mom, if she thought the buzzer was too dirty t touch, I feel like she would have said something. Does she not touch anything once she comes inside?

She might have opened the door with gloves, called in and told the staff to come open the door, etc. I feel like sitting in her car for the better part of an hour and then rushing in behind other parents/children is more like what the op herself suggested - a tactic to avoid being seen approaching and to be able to "pop in" to see if her requests are being honored.

At any rate, conversation needs to be had...theres either a severe aversion to germs or a trust issue going on...
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Willow 04:57 PM 09-08-2013
I definitely would not jump to an OCD conclusion. What she is doing could have a number of explanations. I personally would be beyond offended if someone completely not qualified to do so, diagnosed and then confronted me with such an assertion.

I would ask her gently but frankly what's up. Let her know other parents have noticed and are concerned so you have to address it at this point.

I'd also tell her that putting the *chemical* sanitizer on her baby's face would no longer be tolerated on the property. It's called HAND sanitizer for a very good reason, and you will no longer be liable for the major danger and injury that could occur to baby's eyes, nose, mouth, skin or GI tract from her administering such a *chemical* (add major emphasis on that word) on your property.

If she questions, tell her it would be no different that if another parent was trying to use rubbing alcohol around a child eyes (point out there is plenty in sanitizer, so much so that children have been caught in schools attempting to drink it), or if a parent was trying to administer an incorrect dose of a medication. Both harmful, both reportable if there was enough concern.
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wdmmom 05:48 PM 09-08-2013
I don't know about you but if I had a new family sitting in my driveway for the upwards of an hour, I'd go tap on her window. If this was happening at your local elementary school, you can bet someone would be calling the police and telling them to investigate it! This behavior is not something I'd take to lightly. Children are molested and abducted daily because of predatory type behaviors. What she is doing is a prime example. If coming in and getting her children, perhaps you can take them out to her but I wouldn't be working an extra 40 minutes per day untik she's comfortable enough to walk in.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:28 PM 09-08-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I definitely would not jump to an OCD conclusion. What she is doing could have a number of explanations. I personally would be beyond offended if someone completely not qualified to do so, diagnosed and then confronted me with such an assertion.

I would ask her gently but frankly what's up. Let her know other parents have noticed and are concerned so you have to address it at this point.

I'd also tell her that putting the *chemical* sanitizer on her baby's face would no longer be tolerated on the property. It's called HAND sanitizer for a very good reason, and you will no longer be liable for the major danger and injury that could occur to baby's eyes, nose, mouth, skin or GI tract from her administering such a *chemical* (add major emphasis on that word) on your property.

If she questions, tell her it would be no different that if another parent was trying to use rubbing alcohol around a child eyes (point out there is plenty in sanitizer, so much so that children have been caught in schools attempting to drink it), or if a parent was trying to administer an incorrect dose of a medication. Both harmful, both reportable if there was enough concern.
I agree.
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Familycare71 05:55 AM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
No I don't mean tell the other parents why you think she's behaving that way. I never talk about one parent to another. I'm just saying if she's waiting in her car and walks in behind someone and they know who she is and that she has a child there, what is so scary about it? It's not like it's an unknown person walking in behind her. Not really different than 2 people by chance coming in at the same time and walking in together.
That makes more sense . Sorry I misunderstood!
I however do not ever "piggyback" when a buzzer is used. I wait for whom ever to get buzzed in then push the button. I would feel safer if everyone did that at my kids school- ya just never know who is coming in behind you- could be a parent you know but is not in an ok place- maybe school received a call with a heads up but in they walk because I got buzzed in- kwim? Ya just never know... I feel like a buzzer system only works when people abide by it.
I also agree with PP- I wouldn't mention OCD but would say that the behavior isn't ok and we need to come up with an alternative.
Keep us posted if you talk to here-
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lovemykidstoo 06:07 AM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
That makes more sense . Sorry I misunderstood!
I however do not ever "piggyback" when a buzzer is used. I wait for whom ever to get buzzed in then push the button. I would feel safer if everyone did that at my kids school- ya just never know who is coming in behind you- could be a parent you know but is not in an ok place- maybe school received a call with a heads up but in they walk because I got buzzed in- kwim? Ya just never know... I feel like a buzzer system only works when people abide by it.
I also agree with PP- I wouldn't mention OCD but would say that the behavior isn't ok and we need to come up with an alternative.
Keep us posted if you talk to here-
I totally agree with you. I call the buzzer system at my kids schools a "feel good rule". Meaning, exactly like you said. Someone with bad intentions with extreme ease get in by waiting to piggyback. Good system if you abide by it, but really at a school of 1,600 like my sons do you think that they know every face coming through the door and they don't ask anything, just buzz in. guess if you're carrying an uzi submachine gun they won't let ya in, but it's a false sense of security imo.
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momofboys 06:09 AM 09-09-2013
I don't know about anyone else's driveway but if one parent was hogging my driveway for so long depending on where she parked it could be almost impossible for others to park too. Our driveway is long but not very wide. We also live on a semi-busy street, no parking is allowed on the street. It would pose a problem for me b/c it would make other pick-ups problematic. I'd have to address it for this very reason.
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Blackcat31 08:28 AM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by momofboys:
I don't know about anyone else's driveway but if one parent was hogging my driveway for so long depending on where she parked it could be almost impossible for others to park too. Our driveway is long but not very wide. We also live on a semi-busy street, no parking is allowed on the street. It would pose a problem for me b/c it would make other pick-ups problematic. I'd have to address it for this very reason.
I got the impression this was a center and the "driveway" is a parking lot....

I don't know for sure though....

Either way, I DO think the OP needs to have a sit down discussion with this parent and address some of the issues/behaviors that are going on so that EVERYONE attending is comfortable with the situation, whatever it may be.
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adevonw 12:36 AM 09-11-2013
Thank you all for your comments. All the information was very helpful and here is the latest.

After thinking about it and discussing it with other workers we came to the conclusion that she we don't think she is OCD. She has no problem buzzing in when she is dropping off. It is only when she is picking up that we are having these issues. I DO think she has some control issues and her impending divorce and life changes may be bringing these issues out more strongly than normal. At any rate, it is something that I have decided to address.

Today during drop off she came in and put her DS down (he's 9 months) and another little friend came up and touched him on his head to say hi (the other friend is 12months). The mom snapped at the child and said, 'Hey, Don't touch him'. Before I knew it I was looking at her like she was crazy and said, 'That's not okay' (LOL) I said this is a daycare and he is surrounded by kids who want to play with him and this is how they learn and interact by touching toys, objects, etc. If he's going to be in daycare he's going to be touched, he's going to fall every once in a while, he's going to get messy (I encourage it), and unfortunately, he's going to get sick. If this is too much for you maybe this isn't the right place for you to put him.' She apologized and said she's not real good with kids and then she left in a hurry.

At this point I'm ready to term care. I will try to deal with difficult parents but when you come in and start snapping at my other children...I'm done. I'm going to talk with her again tomorrow, please keep me in your prayers. The child loves it here and if she could just relax I think she would too so I don't want to be harsh. But she can't snap at my other kids like that.

I'll keep you posted! Thanks!
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kimmills 12:48 AM 09-11-2013
I agree with what cheerfuldom has said. Get a one on one meeting with her and discuss this. She most certainly looks like suffering from OCD. But you can't afford to have that affect others, can you? Let her know that the others are a little nervous about her behavior, attitude whatever. Don't see it making much difference but you can try. She can't have her baby wrapped in cotton wool all his life.
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Familycare71 06:00 AM 09-11-2013
Originally Posted by adevonw:
Thank you all for your comments. All the information was very helpful and here is the latest.

After thinking about it and discussing it with other workers we came to the conclusion that she we don't think she is OCD. She has no problem buzzing in when she is dropping off. It is only when she is picking up that we are having these issues. I DO think she has some control issues and her impending divorce and life changes may be bringing these issues out more strongly than normal. At any rate, it is something that I have decided to address.

Today during drop off she came in and put her DS down (he's 9 months) and another little friend came up and touched him on his head to say hi (the other friend is 12months). The mom snapped at the child and said, 'Hey, Don't touch him'. Before I knew it I was looking at her like she was crazy and said, 'That's not okay' (LOL) I said this is a daycare and he is surrounded by kids who want to play with him and this is how they learn and interact by touching toys, objects, etc. If he's going to be in daycare he's going to be touched, he's going to fall every once in a while, he's going to get messy (I encourage it), and unfortunately, he's going to get sick. If this is too much for you maybe this isn't the right place for you to put him.' She apologized and said she's not real good with kids and then she left in a hurry.

At this point I'm ready to term care. I will try to deal with difficult parents but when you come in and start snapping at my other children...I'm done. I'm going to talk with her again tomorrow, please keep me in your prayers. The child loves it here and if she could just relax I think she would too so I don't want to be harsh. But she can't snap at my other kids like that.

I'll keep you posted! Thanks!
Prayers!! Hope it goes well!
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countrymom 06:09 AM 09-11-2013
thanks for the update. Sounds to me that you may have to term. Too many red flags with this one. Doesnt matter if she is ocd or not, you have rules in place that need to be followed by EVERYONE. If she was worried about touching the buzzard then use gloves or kleenex to touch it.

I as a parent would be worried about someone sitting in the driveway/parklot for up to 40 min. at a time and then running and dashing would make me worried. Thats not normal.

divorce or not, she can't bring her issues to daycare and subject it onto others.
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Willow 06:34 AM 09-11-2013
Some people really do just stink with kids.

If I were you I'd lay out your expectations (like not snapping at other children, not loitering in the parking lot and that she gain an understanding about him being touched and played with) and then give her a chance to adjust.

Not all parents "get it" and some need help to learn the ropes.

Indeed some are just plain nasty with no desire to get with the proverbial program but others simply don't understand how offputting they truly are. It you want to term, term. But to me this mom sounds incredibly naive/ignorant more so than malicious.
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