We have a pretty iron clad toilet training policy, due to having many many issues with potty training in the past. In addition to requiring a child to go accident free for two-weeks before wearing underwear, we also don't allow pull-ups or diapers to be worn if they are being used just like diapers. We ask parents to train at home, and when they think their child is ready to full train - then we will start here

We have a 2.5 yo DCB whose Mom has been pushing PT for a long time. We asked her to start working with him over a weekend (March 2). The following week we were working with him, but he was totally dependent on us bringing him and never recognized the need to go by himself. He was able to release a stream of urine, if you place him on the potty - but he does not go unless you take him. (I understand some providers practice this kind of reminding, but we want children using the toilet without being constantly reminded).

He has yet to use the toilet by himself, nearly three weeks later. (was out for spring break, and one week was on vacation for 3 days). He will hold his bladder, but will not recognize the sensation of needing to eliminate by himself. And winds up wetting his pants (underwear covered by pull-ups).

This monday morning DCM brought him in wearing just underwear. Once I realized this, I looked through the extra clothes she sent for the day, and there were NO PULL-UPS. But there were three changes of underwear, I guess in her mind I would have still been putting him in uncovered underwear after the 3rd accident ?!?!?!? I have a few spares that I keep, so I put him in one. He wet, and after that I covered his second pair of underwear with a diaper (I didn't want to waste my few spare pull-ups).

So I told her when she came that he isn't using the toilet for us at all, and she said she would send him with a pull-up to cover his underwear.

The next day she sends him with a pull-up on top, and he didn't use the toilet at all that day either. So when she comes to pick him up, she says "what do you want me to send him in, pull-ups or just underwear or both. He has come so far I don't want to put him back in diapers".

I am not the best with confrontation, but I said "If you feel like doing the laundry, then you are free to send him each morning in underwear covered with a pull-up, but if he wets I am going to put him in a diaper" She just kind of laughed and said "so you won't put a new underwear/pull-up on him ?" I said "not if he is using them like diapers".

DCM didn't show up this morning, and when I called she said she was sick. I really feel like she is upset. I will be honest and say I really wouldn't care if this family left (dealing with this, some severe & unacknowledged speech issues, and mom is a teacher who doesn't pay to hold her spot over the summer) - but I don't like anyone to feel like I was rude to them.

I feel like she thinks I was rude to her, but at the same time I'm not going to let a child wear underwear when he is using them like a diaper (even if they are covered). I don't want to change wet underwear all day, and I think underwear are a privilege for children who are using the toilet. He is getting the perk of wearing underwear without doing any of the work.

If he were using the toilet even 1/2 of the time, I would be singing a different tune. But he does not use the toilet at all, and has no business wearing underwear IMHO. But do you all think I was offensive to DCM ?

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