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  #1  
Old 03-07-2012, 06:14 AM
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Default Old School

So last night, at pick up, I had a DCB that was running with my DS in the house. I made them both go back to the kitchen and walk it. A parent says to me as they chuckled "thats an old school way to handle it. I almost went back to walk it too" My response, is "old or not, stick to what works"

I thought about it all night, and I am thinking alot of my policies and dealing with children maybe kinda old school. Never thought about me as being old school in

Do you see yourself as more old school or new age parent/provider? What makes you so?
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Old 03-07-2012, 06:23 AM
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I think I am probably a little bit of both. I am still pretty young, but I was raised in an old school environment. I have a background in psychology, so I use a lot of the current research in behavior and apply it to my own and the daycare kids.

That being said, I think that there is a lot of merit to the old school method. There certainly were not as many problems as there are today with kids! I think that people are too sensitive nowadays, and offer too many choices and options for kids, when they need more guidance. It's great to say, "do you want a banana or an apple for snack?" It's not so great to give the kids endless choices, then have to argue with them that cupcakes are not a healthy breakfast- "but oh wait, maybe just a bite, well, all right Johnny, you can have 1 cupcake for breakfast. But just today."

I don't count to three, for example. You get one warning, and if you choose to do the behavior again, you go to time out. I will take the time to acknowledge each child's feelings, if I see a problem, as opposed to the "get over it" method.

Interested to hear what everyone else says.
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Old 03-07-2012, 06:42 AM
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Old school, old school, old school! I think that is another reason daycare somedays really, really wears on me. If I had ever been in trouble as a child and then laughed at the adult I would not have been able to sit for a week. Now we just have to make sure the childs esteem is not hurt and that no matter what we make sure they are #1.

I can see why more and more grandparents don't want to watch kids much anymore. There is no boundaries like when we were raised or especially when the grandparents where raised!
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Old 03-07-2012, 06:46 AM
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I think I am a little of both.
It depends on the child what works for them, most of the time I am old school with a little new school mixed in.
I was raised by my grandparents so it explains where that old school came from :-)
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsB View Post
So last night, at pick up, I had a DCB that was running with my DS in the house. I made them both go back to the kitchen and walk it. A parent says to me as they chuckled "thats an old school way to handle it. I almost went back to walk it too" My response, is "old or not, stick to what works"

I thought about it all night, and I am thinking alot of my policies and dealing with children maybe kinda old school. Never thought about me as being old school in

Do you see yourself as more old school or new age parent/provider? What makes you so?
I think I am very old school. I was raised by very old fashioned parents. But honestly my methods work. Everyone is happy and safe
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:30 AM
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Old school.

You only have to look at the various generations to see that today's parenting techniques don't work.

It's all about making the child happy 24/7. Can't say no because it'll damage self-esteem. Baby can't be allowed to cry. If your child mouths off at you, you just accept it and call it "expressing themselves" and other such garbage.

No longer are children taught much respect, honesty, or patience...it's all about instant gratification, a constant need for praise and attention.

One poster mentioned in a previous thread post that she had a parent who gushed "Good job!" at every step the kid took up her stairs...as if it was a major accomplishment. Another mentioned how kids will ASK you to praise them for the simplest mundane task. They can't function without constantly being the center of attention.

By the time we are senior citizens,,,the kids we tend now will be running the country. They have been raised to think of themselves first and foremost.

We think politicians are self-serving now?? Just wait.
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:59 AM
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Even though I am in my mid 30's..the old ways work best for me. They learn as soon as they can start talking Please and Thank you. They hear me tell them to be patient which they understand as wait tell I am ready. We bless the meals and if they have a time out we discuss why. Each child knows that if they've had a time out that parents will be aware of it and they are ask to tell why they went to time out. Kids aren't perfect in care all the time. They need to be free to make mistakes and learn from them. I don't think it's wise to compliment a child at every turn or not tell a child "no" in fear that it will hurt their self-esteem. I would hope we are preparing our children for the REAL world. Back to basic's is what worked. It's how it works in my home. But I do see a lot of children taking over the house hold and parents losing control. Those children do not have self control. Other parents worry that if that child is aloud to treat others like that then they will teach their child in the same respect to treat others like that. It doesn't sway in my house or daycare.
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:59 AM
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I'm only 30 but I am definitely old school. Many of the "modern" parenting things that we do are actually tweaks on old OLD school methods. Like baby wearing....people think that carriers are new and trendy when actually, that is the way many of cultures and tribes cared for babies for generations. The Blackfoot Tribe stuffed moss down into the carrier for basically a diaper and then baby goes inside for however long. Anway, I digress.....

We are considered very strict by almost all our friends but actually, our kids have the most freedom than many kids. Our kids are well behaved, we can take them places without fear that they will run, be too loud, act like animals. They have been camping once we set boundaries for the camp fire. My four year old sits in church, we got o restaurants with all three of them, people actually ask US if they can babysit our kids! I take all my daycare kids to the park as a group and have many parents comment that they dont even take their one kid for fear of bad behavior.
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:38 AM
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Old school during daycare hours, and more new agey after hours.

That is because during the daycare hours, my first priority is to keep everyone SAFE, and injury free. I could care less if anyone is happy about it, how/what the child feels about it. I expect obedience the first time, and that's that. It is required in order to be safe with a larger group. ALL my rules are to minimize my liability and to prevent as many issues as possible.

Now, after hours with only my own kids...I want to explore their feelings on a particular matter, help them make their own decisions (and for them to own their own successes & failures), thought behind those decisions, etc... My priority is their personal growth & happiness with themselves -- not me making them happy by giving in to demands/tantrums. There does tend to be more tantrums with my own kids, with the less strict boundries and stuff...but I know that I am growing these kids to be confident in themselves.

So, an example: I do not allow the kids to run, jump on the sled and crash into the fence at the bottom of the little hill during daycare hours. With only my own kids, I figure it is rather harmless fun, but if someone lands wrong & breaks an arm or gets a bloody nose, it is all part of childhood.
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  #10  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solandia View Post
Old school during daycare hours, and more new agey after hours.

That is because during the daycare hours, my first priority is to keep everyone SAFE, and injury free. I could care less if anyone is happy about it, how/what the child feels about it. I expect obedience the first time, and that's that. It is required in order to be safe with a larger group. ALL my rules are to minimize my liability and to prevent as many issues as possible.

Now, after hours with only my own kids...I want to explore their feelings on a particular matter, help them make their own decisions (and for them to own their own successes & failures), thought behind those decisions, etc... My priority is their personal growth & happiness with themselves -- not me making them happy by giving in to demands/tantrums. There does tend to be more tantrums with my own kids, with the less strict boundries and stuff...but I know that I am growing these kids to be confident in themselves.

So, an example: I do not allow the kids to run, jump on the sled and crash into the fence at the bottom of the little hill during daycare hours. With only my own kids, I figure it is rather harmless fun, but if someone lands wrong & breaks an arm or gets a bloody nose, it is all part of childhood.
I'm pretty much like this, too. The only difference is, my youngest is 11, and my oldest dc kid is 4, so the rules are a little different just by nature of their age.

I am taking a class called "intentional teaching", and so far, I have to watch my mouth on the discussion boards for the class, lest they see me doing this: When they start telling me that infants need to be "taught", and have a planned "curriculum", I start to throw up a little in my own mouth...lol
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  #11  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
I'm pretty much like this, too. The only difference is, my youngest is 11, and my oldest dc kid is 4, so the rules are a little different just by nature of their age.

I am taking a class called "intentional teaching", and so far, I have to watch my mouth on the discussion boards for the class, lest they see me doing this: When they start telling me that infants need to be "taught", and have a planned "curriculum", I start to throw up a little in my own mouth...lol
...sorry that was so gross, I couldn't help myself....it's been a long morning
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  #12  
Old 03-07-2012, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
I'm pretty much like this, too. The only difference is, my youngest is 11, and my oldest dc kid is 4, so the rules are a little different just by nature of their age.

I am taking a class called "intentional teaching", and so far, I have to watch my mouth on the discussion boards for the class, lest they see me doing this: When they start telling me that infants need to be "taught", and have a planned "curriculum", I start to throw up a little in my own mouth...lol
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  #13  
Old 03-07-2012, 12:02 PM
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I'm old school and also that way with my own kids. I want my kids to learn respect and Manners that I feel is totally lacking today.

I also have more rules with DC than my own though because there are more of them and it's my job to keep them safe and injured free. Plus one child doing something and 8 doing something is totally different.
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Old 03-07-2012, 12:39 PM
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Totally Old School...I was raised by my grandparents and I can still hear their voice to this day! I try to find the middle ground w/my dck's most of my parents have this new age thing going on

You should see the look on their faces when I correct my own children

IMO I don't think time outs work very well with today's kids! I personally don't use them w/my own children...I take away TV,games etc...
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  #15  
Old 03-07-2012, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meeko View Post
Old school.

You only have to look at the various generations to see that today's parenting techniques don't work.

It's all about making the child happy 24/7. Can't say no because it'll damage self-esteem. Baby can't be allowed to cry. If your child mouths off at you, you just accept it and call it "expressing themselves" and other such garbage.

No longer are children taught much respect, honesty, or patience...it's all about instant gratification, a constant need for praise and attention.

One poster mentioned in a previous thread post that she had a parent who gushed "Good job!" at every step the kid took up her stairs...as if it was a major accomplishment. Another mentioned how kids will ASK you to praise them for the simplest mundane task. They can't function without constantly being the center of attention.

By the time we are senior citizens,,,the kids we tend now will be running the country. They have been raised to think of themselves first and foremost.

We think politicians are self-serving now?? Just wait.
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Old 03-07-2012, 01:00 PM
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Old school, because it is what works.
I don't want my child to be disrespectful, they are children they need boundaries, rules, manners and to respect their peers and adults.
I also believe in true choices, " x, would you like milk or water with lunch or would you like to sit on the blue or red chair." I also believe you need to value and show respect to children's emotions and feelings - we need to be proper role models while guiding and teaching children.

My dad was a bit of both and I look back now and appreciate it. If I were to say break curfew or skip he made me do the churches or neighbors gardens all Saturday, for a teen with a social life it was t fun. Also, he used this time to actually talk to me, find out about my life, teach me about the world and as much as I hated it then I truly value all those Saturdays I was out doing community service with my old man - if only I could skip math one more time
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Old 03-07-2012, 01:28 PM
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I am not too sure what old school refers to?? Somenone anyone help me...lol Sorry.

Does this mean to do things like are grandparents did?
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Old 03-07-2012, 01:40 PM
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I am not too sure what old school refers to?? Somenone anyone help me...lol Sorry.

Does this mean to do things like are grandparents did?
Yes or parents. Even just the generation before us would work. Think of the 50's -70's how parents/kids were.
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Old 03-07-2012, 02:03 PM
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Yes or parents. Even just the generation before us would work. Think of the 50's -70's how parents/kids were.
ahh ok. I see...Well I do nothing like what they did, but there are a lot of reasons for that.
1. is now I am living in the USA
2. I would go to jail...lol

SO maybe I would fall under new ways....

Or you can count me out...lol
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Old 03-07-2012, 02:08 PM
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Old school. And I agree with most of everyone above that considers themselves old school.
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  #21  
Old 03-07-2012, 02:12 PM
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What IS the "new school"???

To my knowlege, kids haven't changed, just they way they are handled. I don't think it's been a big improvement. OS works. It's tried and true most of the time. HOWEVER (aha, the caveat) - there are things I'VE learned over the years. Those are new school (to me). AND... (another caveat) - society is different than it was 30 years ago or more. So things ARE different whether we want them to be or not. Therefore the way we handle some things is, by necessity, different.

I don't think I answered the question.....
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Old 03-07-2012, 03:37 PM
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Old School all the way. I AM the playground Gestapo!

I do have off days when I can't get them in line and then I feel like this:
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  #23  
Old 03-07-2012, 10:59 PM
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I'm only 30, but I use old school methods with the daycare kids (minus the spanking - lol)...
I do acknowledge their feelings, however I'm not afraid of disciplining. I sure dont want the kids to go home and tell Mom and Dad that I am a "meany", but I don't want this kids to destroy my property, or being direspectful.

I can't stand when I say, for example, "no running, please!!", and they look at me, and keep running down the living room! that is automatic time out in my house.

They don't want to share? I warn them once, the second time I hear: "No!It's mine, he took it, she took it, I had it, he stole it from me" or whatever, that toy is gone for the day... too bad..
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Old 03-08-2012, 06:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solandia View Post
Old school during daycare hours, and more new agey after hours.

That is because during the daycare hours, my first priority is to keep everyone SAFE, and injury free. I could care less if anyone is happy about it, how/what the child feels about it. I expect obedience the first time, and that's that. It is required in order to be safe with a larger group. ALL my rules are to minimize my liability and to prevent as many issues as possible.

Now, after hours with only my own kids...I want to explore their feelings on a particular matter, help them make their own decisions (and for them to own their own successes & failures), thought behind those decisions, etc... My priority is their personal growth & happiness with themselves -- not me making them happy by giving in to demands/tantrums. There does tend to be more tantrums with my own kids, with the less strict boundries and stuff...but I know that I am growing these kids to be confident in themselves.

So, an example: I do not allow the kids to run, jump on the sled and crash into the fence at the bottom of the little hill during daycare hours. With only my own kids, I figure it is rather harmless fun, but if someone lands wrong & breaks an arm or gets a bloody nose, it is all part of childhood.
yup in my house too. but its the age too. Its not new age when you do it with your own children because of the age difference, I'm still mean with my kids, they still have to behave, but they also have freedom to play in the ditch and get dirty and not touch the stinky fish because I can't stand the fishy smell.
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