So this weekend my husband and I are going away for out 10th year anni!

We have had this weekend planned for almost 3 months. We are going to go to carmel by the sea. If any of you know the place, you will know that it is a very nice place to visit.

Our plan is that our 3 year old is going to stay the weekend with our In -Laws, our only famliy near by that can watch him.


So my son (3yr old) came down with a slight cold this past weekend, just now getting to the tail end of it. So my MIL just stopped by becuase she was in the area for work. She wanted to drop off some stuff for my son. 10 minutes after she leaves i get a text msg from my SIL. (she lives with the in-laws and also has a 3year old girl) The text msg says:

My mom told me that XX is sick and I don't want you guys to bring him over here this weekend becuase he will get my daughter sick!

i respond that he is not sick, that he is just getting over a cold, no runny nose, no fever, but slight cough, he is suffering from allergies as well. Which the cough could linger for days to come.

She then goes on to say, well I am planning a trip to San Diego next week to meet my firends and I don't want to take the chance of any of us getting sick.

So I forward all the text to my husband and tell him to deal with it, I am trying to deal with the kids.

10 min later my husband calls really mad and says my sister doesn't want us to bring our kid to the In-laws this weekend so that we can't go on our trip.
So it looks like we are going to have to cancel our plans...

I am so upset. I can't believe how selfish my SIL is. So I ask my husband, well if she is so worried that her daughter is going to get sick, maybe your parents can come spend the weekend over here at our house and watch our son. Husband calls back and says NO, his parents don't want to do that becuase who will watch the niece. yes my SIL has no parenting responsibility to her child at all.

So I call the hotel to cancel and they inform me that there is a 48 hour cancellation policy and we will loose our money for the first night, but get half back for the second night. That means we will lose $750.00........

So now I am trying to figure this all out... I don't want to lose the money and I don't want to lose the trip. I guess if it comes down to it, my son goes with us....ugh

I am so upset and so mad.........I want to say something, but I am so mad right now the only things that I would say are things i will regret later.

thanks for letting me vent.................wish the weekend was over

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So why is the sil running the parents lives. ugg, I would call the mom in law, let her know the child is NOT sick and that you will be bringing him. I hate people who think they are always in control.

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My SIL has NEVER moved out of her parents house. She is 37 years old and has done nothing with her life...Her lazy POS husband lives there too...

I dont want to call my MIL becuase it seems like she is the one who started this fire....

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Take your son to the doctor and get a note. Then shove it in your SIL's face and go on your trip!

Tell her you didn't realize that a cold was SOOO severe, being's you are the childcare provider and all and other kids have been around him with no sign of illness.

Tell her to suck it up and shut up and enjoy your mini-vaca!

PS...It's not HER house so for her to say that would go in one ear and out the other and if she still has an issue, tell her she can cough up the $750 you'll be out!

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That totally sucks. I would have dh call his mother and say "Seriously?"

Do you have a friend or another relative that could possibly help you out??

So sorry... hope this gets worked out for you!

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oh, yes, I'd be pissed too. I LOVE Carmel....we visit there often.

Tell hubby to insist with his parents or you are going alone You sil sounds like a real gem

If I wasn't going out of town I'd offer to keep him for you.

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do you think your mil really started the fire? Or could she just have said a comment about how his nose is running?

Can you just take your DS with you? Do you have other family nearby? I wish you lived closer and we knew each other because I would offer to just take your DS for the weekend..

Just take a deep breath. Things will work out

HUGS!

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Have your in laws come watch him at your house!!! : )

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I asked that and they said NO.....

I wish it were as easy to tell my In-laws that I don't care what my SIL says, but as you can see they are under her eveil spell..

I think the note thing sounds good, I will ask my hubsnad to take him tomorrow since he has it off....thanks for that idea

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Oh how frustrating for you, I'm so sorry. I think I'd just take your son along with you and not even deal anymore with the in-laws. Is this the same sil that has the child that watches tv all day? If so, your son would be better off not going there anyhow. (((hugs)))

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That really sucks. I hope you can find a replacement sitter!! I'm from Carmel originally. Born & raised there. Beautiful place so I hope you can get there!!! If I still lived there I would offer to watch your son for you!

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you are so sweet.... Im crushed...but I should have known better anyways... I have never left my son there for a weekend before and I guess its a lesson learned..

My nearest realtive lives 4 hours away.

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you have a great memory yes this would be the one, but my IN-laws don't let my son do that when he is there... They will let him some time but for the most part they are always interacting with him..

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Don't cancel the plans, either take your son with you, or try to find someone else to keep him.

It'd be a long time before I helped sister in law with anything. The next time she wants you to do anything for her, say "Oh, I heard your daughter cough... so, I don't want to catch anything from her". But, be sure to wait until the last minute so she THINKS you are going to help her.

Clearly, the daughter runs the family... so, I'd try to distance yourselves from them. Since you don't matter as much as your sister in law.

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Is the 4 hour away relative a close relative? Would they be willing to come and stay at your house for your trip if you tell them you're in a tight spot?

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I wouldn't cancel your plans if u have to lose money. I would take my child with me if I couldnt find anyone else. Before u even look I would discuss this with your in laws as it is their home not the SIL. If they take her side I would be done with them all. Oh after I tell the SIL that she needs to grow up and find a home of her own!

I hate to be so blunt but I don't know how else to say it right now, I think that is totally ****ty of them to do to u the last minute! Sorry I had inlaws that were like this and it is partially why I am a single Mom now!

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My husband I come from two totally different back grounds he asian and I am from egypt. We were both born in our home countries, but grew up most of our lives in the states... There is something to be said about his parents and they way that they think that I cant figure out and often get upset about it, but can't really do too much to change anything.

I guess it's just a matter of being understanding of different cultures....

BTW this may have been horrible of me, but i told the SIL that maybe she should go stay at her MIL house if she does not want to risk getting sick from an UNsick child. is that horrible of me? I think I may have started a war oh no

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Have you actually spoken with your MIL or has this all been through texts and phone calls with you, your husband and SIL? I would call you MIL and speak to her, tell her about the money you will be losing if you have to cancel, how much you and your husband need this time away together, and point out that she saw your son and he obviously isn't extremly ill.

Tell her if you don't get to go on your trip, she may have both her children living at home with her

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lol that last sentence would not be a threat, that would be her dream come true. Yes huge mama's boy.

SO guess what....my girlfriend is going to cancle her hair appt on saturday and come stay the weekend at my house. She was so mad when I told her. She is 41 and has never had any kids of her own, so she is super excited. I have asked my 15 year old son not to stay at his friends house the entire time just in case my friend needs the help with my little guy.....


I think I have done a great job of biting my tongue. Trust me, this is not the first time something like this happened with the SIL or In-Laws...

I am so done with all of them right now...I just want to get to my weekend....
Ugh and now I do have a sick kid here and am sending one home......lol OOOHHHHH BOY

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It sounds to me like this is what happened:
Sister-in-law has no life
She is jelous that you are taking a trip
She hears your son has a runny nose
tells you he can't be watched by her mother because "she doesn't want him getting her daughter sick"

Now.....
Has anyone spoken to the mother-in-law? This is your husbands job not yours. Tell him to speak to his mother. He should ask her why she is totally suporting his sister and he needs a favor from her and she won't do it. My mother-in-law is a piece of work so I know all about this type scenario. I try to have my husband deal with her so I do not have to. Unfortunately this has resulted in health problems for him (severe ulcers) and we now keep our distance whenever possible so he doesn't have another flair up.

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I guess my husband did talk to his mom, but nothing came of it...
Im over it, I am lucky my friend is going to come stay at my house to watch him.

I get upset at my In-laws all the time. They live 25 min away and they NEVER come to see my son. They only have two grandkids the one that lives with them and mine. It's just sad because my son will never get to know his grandparents. The saddest part is that my parents live in another country and see my son more than my IN-laws do.

I think that the last time they were he was 4th of July.................

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SIL doesn't want your son there because then she and her child won't be the center of attention.

It's nice that your friend is stepping up and helping you out.

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I think u hit the nail on the head.
Sad thT adults act this way

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It is sad... but, in the long run, it's best. My cousin was the favorite kid. We all knew she was. We were the others. My grandparents tried to be fair. If they gave Kelly a gift, they sent us basically the same thing.

But, still we weren't the favorite. I would not have wanted to spend a whole weekend without my mom in my grandparents house... because we WEREN'T the favorites... we were a bother to them. We were in trouble a lot, but Kelly never was, even if it was her idea.

My other grandmother... we were ALL her favorites! You could ask any one of my cousins right now, and each one would claim to be Grandma's favorite. She adored us all equally! I loved going to her house, because she really loved having us there. We were the light of her life.

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daycare, that really sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. IL issues are awful and frustrating. Glad to hear that you have a friend who's got your back though! Bring her something really nice from your trip, and enjoy!

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I know what you mean....the funny part is that my SIL claims that my husband is the favorite and he always get what he wants... the get what he wants part is true, but it is obvious that they rather be with thier grand daughter than my son.

I wish there was a way to have it all equal, but I know I can't change them.

I am nervous about going on my trip now that things have changed, I hope my little guy does not give my friend a hard time..lol he can me a monster some times...lol but then again cant they all...

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