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thetoddlerwhisper 07:51 AM 12-03-2013
i had a foster parent bring in their 2 foster kiddos this morning and very rudely say "well here the whiners." this isn't the first time I've caught a nasty vibe from her about the kids. they're usually dressed in clothes that are to big or to small. come in dirty, sick, snot crusted on their faces. yesterday she brought in the one yr old with a fever and said she gave her Tylenol and that shed just get over it. im getting concerned about their home life with foster parents. apparently there is another infant with them(i havent ever seen it) that they dont want to enroll in childcare cause it "such a good baby." would you report this to their worker or how do you handle it?
Leigh 08:00 AM 12-03-2013
I would put in a call to their worker. If they feel that way about the kids, they should not be in that foster home. Just tell the worker that you would like to share some concerns you have about the care and treatment of these kids. Who is caring for the infant if they don't want to enroll in daycare? Where I live, childcare is only available to foster parents who work outside the home (unless the foster parent pays out of pocket, and daycare costs more than the monthly reimbursement for children).
SilverSabre25 08:06 AM 12-03-2013
Poor kiddos! They are in a rough enough situation without that sort of thing from the people supposed to keep them safe!
Def. call their social worker (I assume you probably have that contact info) and see what can be done.
Def. call their social worker (I assume you probably have that contact info) and see what can be done.
lovemylife 08:13 AM 12-03-2013
I agree with the other 2 ladies. I would call it in just to be safe.
butterfly 08:28 AM 12-03-2013
Foster parent here - and I would definitely call the worker on this!!
sharlan 09:02 AM 12-03-2013
I would most definitely call the social worker. Somebody needs to stand up for these kids.
Of course they whine, they're in a home where they're not wanted. They're just a paycheck.
Of course they whine, they're in a home where they're not wanted. They're just a paycheck.
thetoddlerwhisper 09:04 AM 12-03-2013
would you speak to the parent first before saying anything. ive honestly never had a foster situation quite like this one
butterfly 09:06 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by athacker:
would you speak to the parent first before saying anything. ive honestly never had a foster situation quite like this one
Nope, I'd talk directly to the worker. Are you asking about birth parents or foster parents? I wouldn't get in the middle of that mess... just call the worker.would you speak to the parent first before saying anything. ive honestly never had a foster situation quite like this one
thetoddlerwhisper 09:09 AM 12-03-2013
k kiddos are going down now calling worker as soon as everyone is down
Leigh 09:16 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I would most definitely call the social worker. Somebody needs to stand up for these kids.
Of course they whine, they're in a home where they're not wanted. They're just a paycheck.
This idea is horrifying. I am also a foster parent. I have never received enough "reimbursement" from the state to cover the actual cost of raising a foster child. To think that someone is able to profit from doing this scares me. I know that some states pay better than others, but IMO, that money belongs to the child, and I am donating my time.I would most definitely call the social worker. Somebody needs to stand up for these kids.
Of course they whine, they're in a home where they're not wanted. They're just a paycheck.
Play Care 09:22 AM 12-03-2013
I agree I would call her social worker and not feel the need to sit her down and "warn" her.
In the future I would probably address it when she says something right there. Even a mild "they don't whine here" might put her on notice that you are not someone she can get away with behaving that way with.
In the future I would probably address it when she says something right there. Even a mild "they don't whine here" might put her on notice that you are not someone she can get away with behaving that way with.
Great Beginnings 09:29 AM 12-03-2013
Poor kids. They have obviously been threw enough if they are in foster care and shouldn't have to deal with her snarky remarks and bitterness 
butterfly 10:17 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
This idea is horrifying. I am also a foster parent. I have never received enough "reimbursement" from the state to cover the actual cost of raising a foster child. To think that someone is able to profit from doing this scares me. I know that some states pay better than others, but IMO, that money belongs to the child, and I am donating my time.
This idea is horrifying. I am also a foster parent. I have never received enough "reimbursement" from the state to cover the actual cost of raising a foster child. To think that someone is able to profit from doing this scares me. I know that some states pay better than others, but IMO, that money belongs to the child, and I am donating my time.
I agree!! To be honest, I was slightly offended by the paycheck comment, but I know it has nothing to do with me... If people only realized how little foster parents "get paid"... Especially considering that the children usually come into foster care with absolutely NOTHING - not even a change of clothes. But I guess if these foster parents are treating these kids this way, they probably are only viewing them as a paycheck.....
thetoddlerwhisper 10:18 AM 12-03-2013
talked to the worker. gave him all details that ive seen since the kiddos have started including foster moms snarky attitude and the comments that have been made(including the ones this morning) he is going to do a surprise visit there one evening this week and then stop in to see me. said he hasnt seen anything weird when hes there but they usually know hes coming. they have also been doing visitation with bio parents to get them transitioned back to them and is going to contact them to see what comments foster parents may have made
thetoddlerwhisper 10:21 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I agree!! To be honest, I was slightly offended by the paycheck comment, but I know it has nothing to do with me... If people only realized how little foster parents "get paid"... Especially considering that the children usually come into foster care with absolutely NOTHING - not even a change of clothes. But I guess if these foster parents are treating these kids this way, they probably are only viewing them as a paycheck.....
i actually have thought these kids may just be a paycheck myselves. the clothes are a big deal but theyve had them almost 6mnths so they should have had a chance to get them by now and foster mom dresses in namebrand clothes on a daily basis. I agree!! To be honest, I was slightly offended by the paycheck comment, but I know it has nothing to do with me... If people only realized how little foster parents "get paid"... Especially considering that the children usually come into foster care with absolutely NOTHING - not even a change of clothes. But I guess if these foster parents are treating these kids this way, they probably are only viewing them as a paycheck.....
sharlan 10:33 AM 12-03-2013
My comment about a "paycheck" wasn't meant to offend. I know that there are some really good foster homes, but I've personally seen some bad ones. I was too young to really understand or do anything about them at the time. They still haunt me, though.
We had custody of my dh's niece for 3 years. I can guarantee that every time one of my girls got a new pair of shoes, so did she. Everytime one of my kids got a new toy, so did she. My girls shared a room, she got her own. I took off more time from work to deal with her medical issues than I ever did for my girls. I doubt I made a single dime off of her. Yet, my bil happily told all of his friends how much he paid us every month to take care of her, the same amount we got from the state. Funny, the check came from the state, and he never gave us a dime or spent a dime on his daughter.
My niece had a wonderful social worker. She visited our niece once a month. Every other visit was unannounced because my in-laws made false report after false report. She checked our niece's room and drawers. She checked our refrigerator and pantry. She also took my niece outside and talked to her one on one. She was the best social worker.
We had custody of my dh's niece for 3 years. I can guarantee that every time one of my girls got a new pair of shoes, so did she. Everytime one of my kids got a new toy, so did she. My girls shared a room, she got her own. I took off more time from work to deal with her medical issues than I ever did for my girls. I doubt I made a single dime off of her. Yet, my bil happily told all of his friends how much he paid us every month to take care of her, the same amount we got from the state. Funny, the check came from the state, and he never gave us a dime or spent a dime on his daughter.
My niece had a wonderful social worker. She visited our niece once a month. Every other visit was unannounced because my in-laws made false report after false report. She checked our niece's room and drawers. She checked our refrigerator and pantry. She also took my niece outside and talked to her one on one. She was the best social worker.
sharlan 10:40 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
I agree!! To be honest, I was slightly offended by the paycheck comment, but I know it has nothing to do with me... If people only realized how little foster parents "get paid"... Especially considering that the children usually come into foster care with absolutely NOTHING - not even a change of clothes. But I guess if these foster parents are treating these kids this way, they probably are only viewing them as a paycheck.....
People who know how to work the system (I don't) can make some good money providing foster care. A couple of years ago, my dd and I were in a restaurant and overheard two women talking about all the ways not to spend money on their foster kids. I was so appalled. I agree!! To be honest, I was slightly offended by the paycheck comment, but I know it has nothing to do with me... If people only realized how little foster parents "get paid"... Especially considering that the children usually come into foster care with absolutely NOTHING - not even a change of clothes. But I guess if these foster parents are treating these kids this way, they probably are only viewing them as a paycheck.....
Maria2013 10:46 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Poor kiddos! They are in a rough enough situation without that sort of thing from the people supposed to keep them safe!
Def. call their social worker (I assume you probably have that contact info) and see what can be done.
Poor kiddos! They are in a rough enough situation without that sort of thing from the people supposed to keep them safe!
Def. call their social worker (I assume you probably have that contact info) and see what can be done.
Blackcat31 10:49 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
People who know how to work the system (I don't) can make some good money providing foster care. A couple of years ago, my dd and I were in a restaurant and overheard two women talking about all the ways not to spend money on their foster kids. I was so appalled.
My particular county is heavy with foster families and foster homes (group home style) as well as residential facilities that manage foster kids/young adults.People who know how to work the system (I don't) can make some good money providing foster care. A couple of years ago, my dd and I were in a restaurant and overheard two women talking about all the ways not to spend money on their foster kids. I was so appalled.
The payment scale starts somewhere around $22-25 per day for kids under school age and increases a couple of dollars per day for each age group up to age 18.
If a child has a higher difficulty of care (DOC) then the rate is much higher. For example a 14 yr old boy with any type of "criminal issues" can be worth up to $30 per day for a foster parent.
I know several couples who make their living off of providing foster care to a group of children.
I also know a few child care providers who have turned in their child care license for a foster care license....because they can "earn" more money.
So yeah, I'd have to agree....there are lots of foster parents out there that do it for the money.
I am sure there are plenty who don't do it for that reason but the few that do, make a bad name for everyone else.
MCC 11:02 AM 12-03-2013
I wasn't going to comment here, but, after reading through, I'm feeling that I want to now.
This just sickens me, my heart is breaking for those kids. My husband and I just found out that without doing IVF ($30k, lump sum, and not covered by insurance), we will not be able to have another child. We looked into infant adoption, and the price tag is the same. It's looking like the only way we are going to expand our family, is by fostering to adopt. We have just started the application process to become foster parents.
I would give anything to take those children into my home. I know that people foster for different reasons, but for us, it would be an enormous blessing to be a part of those children's lives, and it makes me red in the face to hear that they (and other children) and being treated like this. That women is so lucky to have been given the chance to know those babies.
I'm glad you called, and it sounds like the worker has a plan. I hope things get better for them.
I'm still not sure if I should post this, but I'm going to.
This just sickens me, my heart is breaking for those kids. My husband and I just found out that without doing IVF ($30k, lump sum, and not covered by insurance), we will not be able to have another child. We looked into infant adoption, and the price tag is the same. It's looking like the only way we are going to expand our family, is by fostering to adopt. We have just started the application process to become foster parents.
I would give anything to take those children into my home. I know that people foster for different reasons, but for us, it would be an enormous blessing to be a part of those children's lives, and it makes me red in the face to hear that they (and other children) and being treated like this. That women is so lucky to have been given the chance to know those babies.
I'm glad you called, and it sounds like the worker has a plan. I hope things get better for them.
I'm still not sure if I should post this, but I'm going to.
butterfly 11:03 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
My comment about a "paycheck" wasn't meant to offend. I know that there are some really good foster homes, but I've personally seen some bad ones. I was too young to really understand or do anything about them at the time. They still haunt me, though.
We had custody of my dh's niece for 3 years. I can guarantee that every time one of my girls got a new pair of shoes, so did she. Everytime one of my kids got a new toy, so did she. My girls shared a room, she got her own. I took off more time from work to deal with her medical issues than I ever did for my girls. I doubt I made a single dime off of her. Yet, my bil happily told all of his friends how much he paid us every month to take care of her, the same amount we got from the state. Funny, the check came from the state, and he never gave us a dime or spent a dime on his daughter.
My niece had a wonderful social worker. She visited our niece once a month. Every other visit was unannounced because my in-laws made false report after false report. She checked our niece's room and drawers. She checked our refrigerator and pantry. She also took my niece outside and talked to her one on one. She was the best social worker.
I know you didn't mean to offend and it certainly wasn't directed at me. My comment about a "paycheck" wasn't meant to offend. I know that there are some really good foster homes, but I've personally seen some bad ones. I was too young to really understand or do anything about them at the time. They still haunt me, though.
We had custody of my dh's niece for 3 years. I can guarantee that every time one of my girls got a new pair of shoes, so did she. Everytime one of my kids got a new toy, so did she. My girls shared a room, she got her own. I took off more time from work to deal with her medical issues than I ever did for my girls. I doubt I made a single dime off of her. Yet, my bil happily told all of his friends how much he paid us every month to take care of her, the same amount we got from the state. Funny, the check came from the state, and he never gave us a dime or spent a dime on his daughter.
My niece had a wonderful social worker. She visited our niece once a month. Every other visit was unannounced because my in-laws made false report after false report. She checked our niece's room and drawers. She checked our refrigerator and pantry. She also took my niece outside and talked to her one on one. She was the best social worker.
I'm just sensitive about those kinds of things and I absolutely know where you were coming from. I agree. 
Unregistered 11:06 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by athacker:
i had a foster parent bring in their 2 foster kiddos this morning and very rudely say "well here the whiners." this isn't the first time I've caught a nasty vibe from her about the kids. they're usually dressed in clothes that are to big or to small. come in dirty, sick, snot crusted on their faces. yesterday she brought in the one yr old with a fever and said she gave her Tylenol and that shed just get over it. im getting concerned about their home life with foster parents. apparently there is another infant with them(i havent ever seen it) that they dont want to enroll in childcare cause it "such a good baby." would you report this to their worker or how do you handle it?
The very fact u r concerned makes me say report this. If ur right....kids get better home.i had a foster parent bring in their 2 foster kiddos this morning and very rudely say "well here the whiners." this isn't the first time I've caught a nasty vibe from her about the kids. they're usually dressed in clothes that are to big or to small. come in dirty, sick, snot crusted on their faces. yesterday she brought in the one yr old with a fever and said she gave her Tylenol and that shed just get over it. im getting concerned about their home life with foster parents. apparently there is another infant with them(i havent ever seen it) that they dont want to enroll in childcare cause it "such a good baby." would you report this to their worker or how do you handle it?
snbauser 11:09 AM 12-03-2013
I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
craftymissbeth 11:15 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by snbauser:
I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
I heard about this. So, so sad! I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
thetoddlerwhisper 11:16 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by snbauser:
I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
this is ridiculous and makes you wonder what they have said or done to the children to keep them from telling teachers!I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
butterfly 11:17 AM 12-03-2013
Originally Posted by snbauser:
I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
Wow!I'm glad you called and they are taking it seriously. Our county DSS is in the middle of a huge issue right now because the head of DSS just got arrested because cops found one of her foster children handcuffed to the porch in his underwear with a dead chicken around his neck and when it was only 40 deg to boot. The cops stumbled upon him when out following up on a call nearby. They said the house was unlivable. I wish someone had spoken up sooner for these children and I am so glad that you made that call. Either it will turn out to be something that can easily be fixed or these people will not be allowed to foster any more. These children are usually dealing with a tramatic and tough time in life and need nothing more than someone who cares.
http://www.witn.com/news/watercooler...232299641.html
I can't even pick up my jaw after reading that! Absolutely terrible! Terrible for anyone, but knowing the job that she holds and she still was doing that $&!#... just can't believe it!!
TwinKristi 01:24 PM 12-03-2013
Ugh, I know some absolutely wonderful foster to adopt families but I also know of a money hungry county mooch who will do anything not to work. She has done childcare in the past as well and also does foster care. She adopted 3 kids with her ex and then he died after their divorce so she got all sorts of social security money over the year for them so she didn't have to work and took on more foster kids. She then was a surrogate for a couple and made another $20k. She adopted another little boy about 6yrs ago through foster to adopt as well. She had 2 of her own kids now adults as well. She took in another baby and told her son it was his sister, her boyfriend posted a birth announcement on his Facebook and then 3 days later they placed her with her bio-Gma and siblings. Obviously the little boy was heart broken and cried for days. Then she accepted two more, one she didn't really want but he literary had no where to go so she took him but her son (who's 19) really liked him and she said if he cared for him she would give him the money every month! They get about $850/mo here plus Medicaid and other one time payments for clothes or needed items like a car seat, etc. She doesn't work or have actual income except her kids SSI and foster care funds so she's on Food Stamps as well! Ugh! It's crazy!
Sunchimes 01:43 PM 12-03-2013
We were foster parents a long time ago. One thing that sort of irritates me is having big campaigns to get school supplies or Christmas gifts for foster kids. Come on, we got paid to take care of these kids. Taking care of them includes Christmas, birthday, and school needs. We never would take the presents, and our foster kids had great holidays with gifts picked just for them, not some random gift that may not be something they hoped for. If they lived with me, they were family.
I'm glad you called. This whole thing made me sick.
I'm glad you called. This whole thing made me sick.
renodeb 02:01 PM 12-03-2013
I would call. Where I live I have to call if I suspect any abuse or neglect.
Unregistered 08:25 PM 12-03-2013
I worked for a small YMCA type place, mostly adults, but there was childcare. There was one family who from time to time had a foster child, usually special needs or babies born to addicted moms. Let me say this, they coddled these kids. They usually had new diaper bags, embroidered with the child's name, the children were dressed in top quality clothing and shoes, the girls always had their hit done beautifully. Obviously these people were spending way more than they were reimbursed. They truly had a big heart and loved the children. I always said, as one poster mentioned, that if I had a foster child, they would be treated exactly as my own. Dance class, t-ball, New toys, etc. Another thing, I had a garage sale years ago, and was selling some children's toys, a toddler bed and bedding, ice skates, etc. A woman was looking through my things, saying how she really needed the bed for her foster children, but didn't have to much money. I gave the bed, toys and bedding to her for 5 dollars. I don`t know if it was the truth or not, but I felt bad for her.