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Old 01-25-2011, 09:19 AM
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MsJoy MsJoy is offline
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Default Hitting Issue With Toddler

Hi everyone,

I have just one little girl that I'm caring for now, along with my son. Both are toddlers--she's 18 mos. and he's 21 mos. She is very headstrong and lately has been hitting and pulling his hair a lot. I repeatedly say "no, no hitting," in a stern voice and hold her hands. This has absolutely no effect. As soon as I let go she begins hitting/hair pulling again. Meanwhile I'm trying to comfort my son who is crying. . .

I've tried time out two times with her grandmother's permission. It's sort of effective but she'll begin again before long to pull his hair or hit him.

I'm at a loss at what else to do. I've tried distracting her with other toys/activities, but then my son wants to play too and the cycle begins again.

Also, she's been throwing food/her drink on the floor repeatedly. Any ideas for that? Wiping yogurt off the stove/other appliances is super annoying. Thanks for any suggestions.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:27 AM
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IMO, At 18 mos, they can understand Time out. I would just do it over and over and over, each time she pulls hair, hits etc. Until she gets the point. Keep in mind this may take a few days, until she sees you don't give up.

The first time the plate hit the floor, I would take it as an accident the second time, I would take the plate away and she would get down from the table. She would be done. After a few times, she will get the point.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:28 AM
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For my daycare when a child is 1 or older and does the following they receive a punsihment

Hitting- They are told we do not hit that was not nice if they do it again they go straight to the naughty mat and timer is set per minute per age when timer goes off they can get up and I will talk to them about the behavior

Throwing food or cups- If a child throws their cup or food I will assume they are done eating and drinking I pick up the food or cup and tell them we do not throw cups or food and you will not get it back till next meal time

Throwing toys- If a child throws a toy they are told we do not throw toys and the toy is take away and they are not allowed to play with it the rest of the day.

Touching things they are not suppose to- If a child touches something they are not suppose to they are told we do not touch that and if they do it again the go to naught mat and timer is set per minutre per age and when timer goes off they can get up and I will talk to them about their behavior

Children whom behave all week get a sticker on Fridays they love their stickers and it helps to reward a child for good behavior also.


After a few times of misbehaving and punishments they usually stop the behavior that got them their in the first place.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:33 AM
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Have you tried to put her time out in pack and play? That is what I did to my two dcg girls from 18 months old and 23 months old.
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Old 01-25-2011, 11:44 AM
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Thank you for the suggestions. I will try more time out, I suppose. I do use her pack and play there's no way I could get her to sit still against the wall as I do with my son.

I like the ideas for food. Today I just fed her the yogurt myself after the first throwing of it this morning. I like to give kids the benefit of the doubt, but honestly, I've seen her throw her food and then laugh about it. And I'm running out of clean rags!

What's strange is that even though she's 18 months, I feel like she's not understanding me or hearing me. She's very smart, it's not like it's a developmental thing. It's just that she won't make eye contact when I'm correcting her, or if she does she's just smiling and laughing. Not sure what that's all about, but I will continue to use time out and taking away food/drinks that are deliberately thrown. Hopefully she'll get the idea.

Thank you again!
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Old 01-25-2011, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJoy View Post
What's strange is that even though she's 18 months, I feel like she's not understanding me or hearing me. She's very smart, it's not like it's a developmental thing. It's just that she won't make eye contact when I'm correcting her, or if she does she's just smiling and laughing. Thank you again!

When I first got my 2.5 y/o, she was 18 mos and wouldn't look at me either. Don't think it is required at home. My kids LOOKED at me when I got on to them. For the first two months, I picked her up and held her in front of me (not cuddled up), eye to eye when I got on to her. She now automatically looks at me when I get on to her.
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Old 01-25-2011, 07:16 PM
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My4SunshineGirlsNY My4SunshineGirlsNY is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJoy View Post
I like the ideas for food. Today I just fed her the yogurt myself after the first throwing of it this morning. I like to give kids the benefit of the doubt, but honestly, I've seen her throw her food and then laugh about it. And I'm running out of clean rags!

What's strange is that even though she's 18 months, I feel like she's not understanding me or hearing me. She's very smart, it's not like it's a developmental thing. It's just that she won't make eye contact when I'm correcting her, or if she does she's just smiling and laughing. Not sure what that's all about, but I will continue to use time out and taking away food/drinks that are deliberately thrown. Hopefully she'll get the idea.

Thank you again!
This is SO EXACTLY what I am dealing with in my 26 month old daycare boy! I am reaching my wits end at what to do...feeling I have been more than patient and provided the correct discipline to no avail. He hits all the other kids for no reason at all, throws toys, crayons, whatever he can. I'm getting tired of him hitting the other kids. He can only play nice for less than 5 min. before he's hitting.

I'm going to have to step it up and just take all these things away for the entire day...he's going to have nothing to do with the behavior he projects here. I don't want him to dislike it here, but enough is enough. I can't even wipe down a counter before he's hitting someone, breaking something, jumping off my couch because he's so hyper, or destroying the house.
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Old 01-26-2011, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJoy View Post
Thank you for the suggestions. I will try more time out, I suppose. I do use her pack and play there's no way I could get her to sit still against the wall as I do with my son.

I like the ideas for food. Today I just fed her the yogurt myself after the first throwing of it this morning. I like to give kids the benefit of the doubt, but honestly, I've seen her throw her food and then laugh about it. And I'm running out of clean rags!

What's strange is that even though she's 18 months, I feel like she's not understanding me or hearing me. She's very smart, it's not like it's a developmental thing. It's just that she won't make eye contact when I'm correcting her, or if she does she's just smiling and laughing. Not sure what that's all about, but I will continue to use time out and taking away food/drinks that are deliberately thrown. Hopefully she'll get the idea.

Thank you again!
Ms.Joy if you use a chair or mat like I use the naughty mat for time out they are more then likely to stay there and a timer works great because they will learn they can not get up till they hear the ring from the timer. Trust me the 18 month old knows I have a 14 month old who was misbehaving pretty bad for a week because Grandma was visiting and he could do whatever he wanted well once I stuck the the punishment for said crimes he has been great they learn pretty quick.
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Old 01-26-2011, 11:34 AM
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My own son hits the other daycare kids about every 30 minutes or so. He is 22 months so it is considered developmentally appropriate. Plus I can tell he gets threatened by others taking his toys. I have tried putting him in pack and play (he wont stay in time out), talking with him firmly about being kind to others, splitting up our group (half in one room half in the other- he hits less when he plays with older kids who don't get in his face as much), and he always goes up to the person he hit and apologizes and gives a hug.

I have read a lot about this and they say its normal. Some days I am at my wits end about it but then I remember how young they are and how long it takes to really think before we act. Somedays I laugh and think about when I am grumpy and in a bad mood and figure he will have those days too.
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