Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Need Help..
Christian Mother 09:14 AM 02-03-2012
I have a situation I put my self in and I am at a loss as to how to rectify it...

I have 2 part timers...

**1 family started a few months ago replacing one family that pulled bc mom went on maternity leave and was exspected to be out for over a month and then would only bring on occasion on fri's if there was availability.

When I signed up new family...(infant dcg) we signed a contract giving her access to the whole week but not having to pay for full time care. This was being before the Christmas season and mom works in retail. So when the season hit she was taking almost the full week.

Other family wants to come back and I don't have room. I told her that I could give her the days that this new family has off. But that it would kind of be on a notice bases as she can get me a schedule for 2 wks on each sund. for the following 2 wks.

We tried this out for a month maybe more...and it isn't working out well at all. One family has happily given her Fri. so her son can participate here but the new family is just having a rough time with her schedule. Her days are all over the place.

So to make this story short mom came over last night asking me to talk with this mom about getting her to give her every monday. What she really would like access to is MWF's but she has settled on Mondays and Fri's are already given to her by another family.

Here's my problem. I feel awful for one...I have tried to work with her and the other mother but I told her I have her on contract giving her access to the who week. That was our agreement. This mother did not know that. She felt frustrated bc when we signed I made her commit to certain days. Heres the kicker you guys...All of you know that my husband has been out of work since Oct. well this family has graciously supplied my husband with work to help support my family not only that..they provide us a extra truck for the work plus money to support us. My money here helps out A LOT!! But they are wonderful in helping out...I want to do the same but I have expressed to her I have tried and broke down crying that I feel awful bc I know these things and she was crying to bc the alternative is pulling him completely bc she doesn't just want to send him once a week it isn't fair to everyone involved plus it's hard on the little guy.

A little back ground on this family...this is the very first daycare they have ever used and little guy has come a LONG way. He has come to me with some issues like napping and behavior. But this child in my care is just wonderful...he is that one child that when you invest love and care and patience becomes just ones of those childs that forever rests in your heart. I want so much to help and give her that mon. but that involves asking the other mom to give up mond.

On the good hand...that mom is a manager for her store and can make her own schedule but she does have to compete with other managers as well.

How do I sit this mother day and explain to her I need her to give up EVERY mond.

I've already told the parents I will not go over ratio every...I am only allowed 4. It's all I can handle on my own. I don't want to bend the rules and allow 5 on Mond.

Sorry so long...I hope you get where I am conflicted...I am supposed to talk to her soon in the next hr. and I'd like to talk to her feeling prepared.

Can I get your help COWORKERS?
Reply
Blackcat31 09:28 AM 02-03-2012
Here is my 2 cents: I think the mom that has access to the whole week needs to pay for the whole week. That is only fair. I also think the family that needs Mondays should have to simply wait until there is a Monday available and that is just the way it goes. They pulled out. They could have paid you to hold their space so you would have it when they returned. I am assuming they didn't or you wouldn't be in this boat in the first place right?

Also, I completely understand that you feel obligated to this family since they provided work for your husband, but.....did they do it because they expected special treatment or to get something in return? If they did, that was NOT fair to you, your business and just generally not nice at all. If they did it because they needed an employee/worker, then they got exactly what they needed and it shouldn't really have anything to do with daycare as that is a completely separate issue.

If you really want to take the child back, I would honestly see if you can get a variance for Mondays. If you don't want to go over your capacity limits and make accommodations for this family, you are just going to have to be honest and tell them you don't have room. Making the new family give up something you gave them because someone else wants it is just not good business practice and really not their problem...kwim?

I would make new family start paying for full time space access though.....

I am NOT trying to be harsh, just real.
Reply
bice99 09:36 AM 02-03-2012
I agree with Blackcat. I have worked with nurse's and firefighter's schedules. They rotate or are just random, but at least they know them in advance. I took my neighbor's son and dealt with her random schedule and just charged my weekly minimum (equal to 3 1/2 days). But when she wanted to come back after maternity leave (with infant, too) I couldn't accommodate her randomness. She got her scheduler to give her set days But then I wouldn't open early when Dad's hours changed, so they boys are at a center. Now if I need the $, I will take a random schedule if they pay my minimum, but if another family wants part of that space, I require the random family to pay for the entire week. I tell them that I am losing out on $ because of their schedule. Some families pay, some figure out how to have set days, some leave.

I totally agree with the fact that even though you love this family, they didn't want to pay to hold their spots during their leave. That was their choice and they need to deal with the consequences. They were just trying to save a buck. I've had families do that over the summer (teachers) and they they seem shocked that I don't have space in the fall. Now all of my teacher families pay 1/2 rate to hold their kids' spots over the summer

I'm sorry for the mess you're in. We all end up doing it at some point. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Reply
Cat Herder 09:44 AM 02-03-2012
I agree with BlackCat...

I know it is hard, but you must be able to earn a living and put away for retirement. You can't do that by giving everyone breaks and letting them make you feel bad for their decisions.

I am not saying this as a money grubber...I am saying this as someone who has given away YEARS of free childcare to several families over the years based on actual NEED due to no fault of their own. I have been burned so many times, I HAD to start putting my financial needs first to avoid losing it all.

I would probably start with offering a full-time PAID slot the the Mom who already has access to it... If she declines to pay for it; you have your answer (no need for guilt, she is then telling you what you are worth to her). After that, Offer it to the second Mom... The first one to pay for the full-time slot get's it.

It will benefit BOTH you and the kids by having a more stable daily routine, anyway. I wish there was an easy button answer...
Reply
bice99 09:45 AM 02-03-2012
Great answer!

Originally Posted by Catherder:
I agree with BlackCat...

I know it is hard, but you must be able to earn a living and put away for retirement. You can't do that by giving everyone breaks and letting them make you feel bad for their decisions.

I am not saying this as a money grubber...I am saying this as someone who has given away YEARS of free childcare to several families over the years based on actual NEED due to no fault of their own. I have been burned so many times, I HAD to start putting my financial needs first to avoid losing it all.

I would probably start with offering a full-time PAID slot the the Mom who already has access to it... If she declines to pay for it; you have your answer (no need for guilt, she is then telling you what you are worth to her). After that, Offer it to the second Mom... The first one to pay for the full-time slot get's it.

It will benefit BOTH you and the kids by having a more stable daily routine, anyway. I wish there was an easy button answer...

Reply
countrymom 09:47 AM 02-03-2012
mom needs a schedual one week in advance. Also can you take 5 children, if you can, then its only 2 days a week, trust me, it really doesn't make a difference have 1 extra child.
Reply
Christian Mother 10:08 AM 02-03-2012
I don't think in AZ if your unlic. if you can take 5. I believe 4 is the max here. Wish I could..

I agree with you all. It is just that I don't charge for days the kids aren't in care. And the one who is taking the full week is a sister to one of my full timers. Their family and dependable. The one asking for Mon. hasn't been reliable in that she changes her schedule more then the new parent strangely enough. This new family is young and they are ashually really really good paying. They I want to keep. But I do feel obligated to do something for this family bc they have helped us. I do feel it is awful for them to bring up to me though that they do. I told them I worried about them feeling that way as i don't want to feel indebted..that left her

The whole situation is not a good. One I did tell her I am sorry I really am but I dont know what else to do. She wants me to ask her to give up mond. for her and i dont think that is fair either. The only thing i can do is ask this mom if she can work her schedule to always have mon. off and if she cant then that tells the other mom sorry but can't give it to you....I tried...
Reply
Blackcat31 10:19 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
I don't think in AZ if your unlic. if you can take 5. I believe 4 is the max here. Wish I could..

I agree with you all. It is just that I don't charge for days the kids aren't in care. And the one who is taking the full week is a sister to one of my full timers. Their family and dependable. The one asking for Mon. hasn't been reliable in that she changes her schedule more then the new parent strangely enough. This new family is young and they are ashually really really good paying. They I want to keep. But I do feel obligated to do something for this family bc they have helped us. I do feel it is awful for them to bring up to me though that they do. I told them I worried about them feeling that way as i don't want to feel indebted..that left her

The whole situation is not a good. One I did tell her I am sorry I really am but I dont know what else to do. She wants me to ask her to give up mond. for her and i dont think that is fair either. The only thing i can do is ask this mom if she can work her schedule to always have mon. off and if she cant then that tells the other mom sorry but can't give it to you....I tried...
You have a heart of gold but seriously you cannot please everyone. If you keep trying to, you are going to go crazy.

I get that you don't charge for days the kids aren't there but that cannot work right if you don't KNOW when they are or aren't going to be there. That mom would NOT be paying for days she isn't there....she would be paying for the "special" priviledge of having access to the every day of the week....that HAS to have some consequence involved which is usually money.

I think you are trying way too hard to please BOTH families and that is simply impossible. Do like Catherder said and offer up the full time space to the family who is using it and if she declines then you offer it to the second family.

For lack of better words, stop letting their problems become yours. You are running a business not a charity. You are obviously in the position of not being charitable, given your own financial situation. As much as you would love to find a way to make everyone happy, you are not going to. I am sorry. You have to look out for YOU.

Perhaps, you could offer the mom who needs Mondays, a fellow providers name and number to help her out? I do NOT agree that it is okay to ask the other mom to give up her Mondays. If she pays for that space, it should be hers. If she doesn't pay for it, then it is yours to give away.

I think the paying to have access to the entire week is the root of your issue. Fix that and the rest will probably fall into place.
Reply
Christian Mother 11:14 AM 02-03-2012
Thank you ladies...you are my backbone for sure!! Such great advise not to mention your support really really is appreciated!! Thank you!!

OK, so...I talked to mom and she was soooo wonderful!! She said that she will do what ever it takes to make sure her child is with me and that I am happy. Bless her!! I told her I really need to get her on a strict schedule for now on. I told her I feel awful to do this but I need to be able to depend on a strict schedule as it was really hard to be all over the place not to mention the other parent is frantic for a couple days a week she can depend on. So the mom said she understood and asked if Tues-Fri's each week worked...I said that was perfect as I was going to ask if she could take mond. off so I could give to the other parent...I am telling you...God totally worked this out for me!! She was so sweet not in the least up set and I told her how truly sorry I was for the whole situation. She told me that she was totally fine and she said there isn't a day that her and her husband don't feel blessed in me watching their child...it made my day...week!! This week was rough I tell ya!! She also said that Mon. totally worked for her as she is on a strict work out routine on Mon. so she has already started taking thoughs Mon. off lol!! I just can't believe how perfect the situation is not to mention that I now have a new contract in hand!! I am sooo happY!!
Reply
bice99 11:20 AM 02-03-2012
Wow. God is in control
Reply
Blackcat31 11:26 AM 02-03-2012
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
Thank you ladies...you are my backbone for sure!! Such great advise not to mention your support really really is appreciated!! Thank you!!

OK, so...I talked to mom and she was soooo wonderful!! She said that she will do what ever it takes to make sure her child is with me and that I am happy. Bless her!! I told her I really need to get her on a strict schedule for now on. I told her I feel awful to do this but I need to be able to depend on a strict schedule as it was really hard to be all over the place not to mention the other parent is frantic for a couple days a week she can depend on. So the mom said she understood and asked if Tues-Fri's each week worked...I said that was perfect as I was going to ask if she could take mond. off so I could give to the other parent...I am telling you...God totally worked this out for me!! She was so sweet not in the least up set and I told her how truly sorry I was for the whole situation. She told me that she was totally fine and she said there isn't a day that her and her husband don't feel blessed in me watching their child...it made my day...week!! This week was rough I tell ya!! She also said that Mon. totally worked for her as she is on a strict work out routine on Mon. so she has already started taking thoughs Mon. off lol!! I just can't believe how perfect the situation is not to mention that I now have a new contract in hand!! I am sooo happY!!
So happy this worked out for you....



It definitely helps when you have dcf's that are willing to work with you and not against you.
Reply
Cat Herder 11:32 AM 02-03-2012
I am so glad it worked out!!

That was really fast, too.
Reply
Christian Mother 01:36 PM 02-03-2012
I know!! RIGHT?!!

This all took place yesterday with a call from daycare mom wanting to stop by after all the kids where gone to discuss her frustrations and I said of course come on over. And after she left I gave her a huge hug and said we will see what we can do...I can't promise anything but I want you to know I will see what I can do.

Other daycare mom wasn't to show up til 10:30am for daycare and she usually has a few free min. to talk to me about anything I need to discuss about baby girl. She is super easy to talk with...that whole family really is!! They are always looking out for my best interest and asking if there is anything i need. Not to mention they are always on time with drop off and pick up. Always provide me with all childrens needs. They even gave money to help me buy some of the baby furniture. I didn't have anything other than a pnp. I have really good families...I am truly blessed!!
Reply
saved4always 01:57 PM 02-03-2012
God is good!!!! So glad it has worked out for you! It is awesome to have great families!!!
Reply
Tags:fulltime rate, part time care, slot
Reply Up