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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Advice on Termination Conversation
Lyss 03:41 PM 05-22-2012
So this will be my first time terminating a DCF since opening my daycare. I feel terrible but I just can't continue with this DCK anymore.

DCK cries non stop unless held and unfortunately I can not hold him all day. His schedule is not consistent at all, so there is no way he is going to be able to adapt to being here. His previous provider only had her own children (10 and 7yrs) and this DCK (8mos) so she was able to give him the attention he wanted and needs but I have 3 additional children plus my own infant to care for. All the screaming from this one child is disrupting nap times and effecting the behavior of the other children, not to mention of driving me crazy.

How to do you start this conversation? I've talked to mom about the issues repeatedly already, so she knows the crying is an issue but I don't think she's grasping how much of an issue it is for me and the other children. I'm sure DCK doesn't enjoy crying all day either! I have a few ideas but i really don't want the conversation to sound like i'm just being negative about her child, i want to word it correctly so she knows it's just not the right fit.
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Michael 03:44 PM 05-22-2012
Wondering if there are some ideas here: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ination+letter
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sharlan 03:45 PM 05-22-2012
Try to gently let her know that your home is not the right daycare for her child. That right now, you are unable to meet his needs.
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Heidi 03:58 PM 05-22-2012
as you can see by my thread "the terminator", it's just not easy. It is a LITTLE easier when they've only been with you a short time, but not much.

I got through it....you can do it! (hugs)
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cheerfuldom 05:24 PM 05-22-2012
You dont have to convince her of anything or try and validate your decision.

Here is what I would (and have said)
"Jen, I wanted to let you know that little Aiden is still having a really hard time here at daycare. He's very unhappy and we don't seem to be the best fit for him. With that in mind, I can watch him until (date) but that will have to be his last date in care. That gives you two weeks to find a new daycare provider. I hope you understand that I did my best but I want to give you the chance to find another provider that is able to meet all his needs."
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Lyss 07:38 PM 05-22-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
You dont have to convince her of anything or try and validate your decision.

Here is what I would (and have said)
"Jen, I wanted to let you know that little Aiden is still having a really hard time here at daycare. He's very unhappy and we don't seem to be the best fit for him. With that in mind, I can watch him until (date) but that will have to be his last date in care. That gives you two weeks to find a new daycare provider. I hope you understand that I did my best but I want to give you the chance to find another provider that is able to meet all his needs."
That's a great response! Thanks! Your right, I don't need to have her validate or even understand my reasons, I just need to do what's best for me and the kids in my care!

Thanks!
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SunshineMama 05:40 AM 05-23-2012
Originally Posted by Lyss:
So this will be my first time terminating a DCF since opening my daycare. I feel terrible but I just can't continue with this DCK anymore.

DCK cries non stop unless held and unfortunately I can not hold him all day. His schedule is not consistent at all, so there is no way he is going to be able to adapt to being here. His previous provider only had her own children (10 and 7yrs) and this DCK (8mos) so she was able to give him the attention he wanted and needs but I have 3 additional children plus my own infant to care for. All the screaming from this one child is disrupting nap times and effecting the behavior of the other children, not to mention of driving me crazy.

How to do you start this conversation? I've talked to mom about the issues repeatedly already, so she knows the crying is an issue but I don't think she's grasping how much of an issue it is for me and the other children. I'm sure DCK doesn't enjoy crying all day either! I have a few ideas but i really don't want the conversation to sound like i'm just being negative about her child, i want to word it correctly so she knows it's just not the right fit.
I handed my family a term letter at pickup and told them to call me later with any questions that they had. It avoided the uncomfortable face to face conversation. They never called, but they are bringing him for the last 2 weeks anyway. I guess my letter sufficed.

You could always say that you are just simply reducing your numbers- you don't have to get into why you are doing it.
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momma2girls 05:57 AM 05-23-2012
Tell them, they will need to find a nanny, or a daycare with only that child in daycare. It is not fair to you, the child and their parents.
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CheekyChick 07:53 AM 05-23-2012
I would say...

After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that your son needs more one-on-one care than I'm able to provide.
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SunshineMama 08:07 AM 05-23-2012
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
I would say...

After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that your son needs more one-on-one care than I'm able to provide.
This actually sounds really good!
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CheekyChick 08:11 AM 05-23-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
This actually sounds really good!
Thanks.
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Tags:needy, termination, termination letter
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