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amberrose3dg 07:53 AM 06-29-2017
I kick a foster kid out of my Daycare?
He has severe behavior issues hitting people and not listening. Today for example he hit one of the kids. I asked him to sit in time out. He flipped started screaming and kicking my walls. I ended up calling foster mom to come get him. I have to send him home on average once a week now. I would of termed any other kid with this behavior. To top it off I have to ask mom to pay me all the time. The state won't pay for it because she has free daycare through americorp and they won't pay me cause it has to be an approved daycare that is 20 miles away. She is always behind and I would never let another family get away with these things. I'm at my limit. She had nerve to be mad at me when she had to pick him up. I guess I'm supposed to deal with all of this and be paid when they feel like it.
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bklsmum 08:00 AM 06-29-2017
I would term based on the payment issues alone but if he is a danger to other kids then he is a danger and you shouldn't feel bad about protecting the other kids in your care.
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Leigh 08:07 AM 06-29-2017
You're not a jerk. I'm a foster parent. I've had kids here that would have been kicked out of every daycare in town! Some of these kids are angels, but some of them have been exposed to such severe neglect and abuse that there is no way they can cope in a group daycare.
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daycare 08:37 AM 06-29-2017
you are not a jerk, he's just not in the right place where someone can meet his needs. I am sure if you didn't have other kids in care it would be different.

I would just tell the dcm that it's not a good fit.
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amberrose3dg 08:48 AM 06-29-2017
I feel guilty because I know he's had a hard life. I also know I cannot give him 100% 1 on 1 care. I don't think another daycare would deal with him. She is currently 3 weeks behind on two foster kids. I Am tired of feeling like I'm being used and not appreciated. It's also hard when a 3 year old tells you he hates you and wishes you would die.
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 08:50 AM 06-29-2017
Not a jerk at all. He needs more than you can offer, and when his case manager reviews his case he will be more likely to get help of there have been noted issues. If foster mom reports he's having behavior issues but daycare is able to manage them, they'll go "ok great" and move on. If foster mom reports he's been kicked out of daycare for his behavior's it will be a flag. You'll help him most by understanding his situation, but not overdoing special treatment.
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Blackcat31 08:55 AM 06-29-2017
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
I feel guilty because I know he's had a hard life. I also know I cannot give him 100% 1 on 1 care. I don't think another daycare would deal with him. She is currently 3 weeks behind on two foster kids. I Am tired of feeling like I'm being used and not appreciated. It's also hard when a 3 year old tells you he hates you and wishes you would die.
Unless you are responsible for his situation this is not your child to fix, cure or save.

I know that sucks and it feels horrible but you have an obligation to ALL the children in your program and keeping them safe is a priority. If one child (no matter his/her personal circumstances) makes that difficult you need to evaluate your methods and figure out a solution.

Terming isn't always the best solution but sometimes it's our only solution. In general child care providers work alone and for pennies on a dollar....That doesn't leave us many tools to work with.
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amberrose3dg 09:01 AM 06-29-2017
Thanks guys! I wish I could save all of these kids. I have several other kids being raised my grandparents or aunts etc.. they have bad circumstances too but not this level of behavior. There isn't much I can do to get him to listen. I think he needs therapy too which he's not in.
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Ariana 10:39 AM 06-29-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Unless you are responsible for his situation this is not your child to fix, cure or save.

I know that sucks and it feels horrible but you have an obligation to ALL the children in your program and keeping them safe is a priority. If one child (no matter his/her personal circumstances) makes that difficult you need to evaluate your methods and figure out a solution.

Terming isn't always the best solution but sometimes it's our only solution. In general child care providers work alone and for pennies on a dollar....That doesn't leave us many tools to work with.
Agree! Although we sometimes feel like we need to save these kids we just don't have the resources.
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Leigh 10:49 AM 06-29-2017
Terming might actually help the child-it is terribly difficult to get mental health services for children in foster care, especially if they have a severe diagnosis like RAD or if they need medications (it is nearly impossible to get meds for foster kids here, no matter how many experts prescribe them-it's hard to even get permission to continue ADHD meds that kids were already on!).

When you term, if the foster parent doesn't pay you in a reasonable amount of time, I would contact the child's social worker-they should absolutely be helping cover daycare-I know that I don't get enough reimbursement in a month to even cover a month of daycare, and often end up "upside down", spending thousands more on kids than they reimburse me for. There's a chance that the social worker will be able to make sure you get paid.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:05 AM 06-29-2017
No, you are not a jerk for protecting the other children from an aggressive child or yourself from a disrespectful parent.

I would terminate the contract as well.
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Pestle 11:07 AM 06-29-2017
I termed a kid who was in foster care. She threw a chair at me. This was after a week of attacking whatever objects the other kids were playing with--scattering the stamps, flipping their toys away from them, flinging books away, etc.

When I called for pick up, the parents admitted that this was why she had to leave the previous day care. That was NOT what they'd told me at enrollment. They had told me she had issues from being born addicted to drugs, but they had specifically told me there were no aggressive behaviors and nothing directed at the other children. I'd asked about that because of another aggressive child I'd termed just beforehand.

This isn't just about it not being our job to save kids with major behavioral issues. It's about it being impossible for a day care provider to save a child who lives with another family and, in some cases, is already in therapy. It's about it actually being our job to, above all, ensure the safety of the kids in our care. Especially when we are sole care providers, we just aren't a good solution for families with kids who have explosively aggressive behaviors. They need one-on-one care or a large center with enough trained staff to separate them and provide individualized therapy.

Learned that the hard way.
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Mike 03:09 PM 06-29-2017
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
Thanks guys! I wish I could save all of these kids. I have several other kids being raised my grandparents or aunts etc.. they have bad circumstances too but not this level of behavior. There isn't much I can do to get him to listen. I think he needs therapy too which he's not in.
There's only so much we can do.
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DaveA 04:21 AM 06-30-2017
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
No, you are not a jerk for protecting the other children from an aggressive child or yourself from a disrespectful parent.

I would terminate the contract as well.
Originally Posted by Mike:
There's only so much we can do.
This. There are times where you have to do what's best for you and your program.
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BrynleeJean 09:42 AM 06-30-2017
I term on a 3 strikes policy for specify things after I've sent home paperwork on the subject to the parents. A foster wouldn't be any different.
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amberrose3dg 06:21 AM 07-07-2017
Just a little update. I insisted on them catching up on the money owed last week they were up 750. They asked if they could pay 500 and pay rest this week. So last night I reminded them they have to pay the other 500. 250 from last week and 250 this week. Her husband texts about days kids weren't there or days I sent him home early for behavior issues. The only day they didn't come was 4th of July which is paid first of all. Secondly you expect not to pay for a day i sent home for on serious behavior issues. He was still here almost 4 hours. So this morning no call no show. I call mom and she rejects my call. Text and ask if kids are coming and she simply says nope.
So I guess they are now not paying me for time I put in and definitely not for two weeks notice. Lesson learned I will never be nice to another family no matter their circumstances. I will also report it to their case worker when I get back from vacation. I also hope they don't think they are showing up when I get back from vacation.
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amberrose3dg 04:42 AM 07-17-2017
Looks like they just plan on not paying. I will never be nice and bend my policies for anyone ever again. Foster kids or not. I am back from vacation and typing up a letter with late fees due. I will also be contacting their case manager and letting her know they owe a balance and refuse to pay. At least I can file something in court here. In our county you get a judgement they can attach it to your personal property. If they never pay up it will collect interest and then I will get the money when they sell their home.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:46 AM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
Just a little update. I insisted on them catching up on the money owed last week they were up 750. They asked if they could pay 500 and pay rest this week. So last night I reminded them they have to pay the other 500. 250 from last week and 250 this week. Her husband texts about days kids weren't there or days I sent him home early for behavior issues. The only day they didn't come was 4th of July which is paid first of all. Secondly you expect not to pay for a day i sent home for on serious behavior issues. He was still here almost 4 hours. So this morning no call no show. I call mom and she rejects my call. Text and ask if kids are coming and she simply says nope.
So I guess they are now not paying me for time I put in and definitely not for two weeks notice. Lesson learned I will never be nice to another family no matter their circumstances. I will also report it to their case worker when I get back from vacation. I also hope they don't think they are showing up when I get back from vacation.
You CAN be nice but that doesn't mean you need to sacrifice your business/your family's livelihood for another person. Being nice doesn't equal taking a financial hit.

So sorry to read this. Hopefully with you filing the money you are owed, and earned, will be given to you quickly.
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amberrose3dg 09:30 AM 07-17-2017
I don't understand their justification of not paying their daycare bill. I just meant when it comes to things like paying up front etc.. If I don't enforce it this will most likely happen again.
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daycare 12:41 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
I don't understand their justification of not paying their daycare bill. I just meant when it comes to things like paying up front etc.. If I don't enforce it this will most likely happen again.
Just to CYA, i would send them a nice email and just ask them to make it clear that they are not coming back and how they intent to pay the remaining balance owed. I would also let them know that failure to communicate with you for a 72-hour time frame, you will consider their contract fully terminated of all services.

this way you have something to show their case worker that you tried and that also shows that they took off on their outstanding bill.

I don't know how foster care works, but isn't it fully payed for by the state?
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Blackcat31 01:32 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:

I don't know how foster care works, but isn't it fully payed for by the state?
This was my question as well. I've cared for foster kids before and all of them had their child care costs completely covered by the state.

I wonder if your best avenue is to contact the agency and at the very least ask about foster care and child care payments. You never know. The family could have been paid for the care by the agency/state but then not passed the money onto you.
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Ariana 02:01 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This was my question as well. I've cared for foster kids before and all of them had their child care costs completely covered by the state.

I wonder if your best avenue is to contact the agency and at the very least ask about foster care and child care payments. You never know. The family could have been paid for the care by the agency/state but then not passed the money onto you.
This is what I am thinking too. You might have happened upon a scam and they are not happy about it.

Poor kid
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284878 03:41 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:
I don't know how foster care works, but isn't it fully payed for by the state?
She comments about this in her opening post.

She said The state won't pay for it because she has free daycare through americorp and they won't pay me cause it has to be an approved daycare that is 20 miles away.
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daycare 03:47 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by 284878:
She comments about this in her opening post.

She said The state won't pay for it because she has free daycare through americorp and they won't pay me cause it has to be an approved daycare that is 20 miles away.
I missed that part. so that means since they chose her program that is not coverd they are required to cover the out of pocket expense.

i would still make contact. the family is not doing whats necessary to meet the child's needs by not cooperating with the contract of the childcare program
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Blackcat31 04:33 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:
I missed that part. so that means since they chose her program that is not coverd they are required to cover the out of pocket expense.

i would still make contact. the family is not doing whats necessary to meet the child's needs by not cooperating with the contract of the childcare program
I missed that as well.

I guess I would pursue the debt anyways...small claims, conciliation court, credit bureau etc...
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daycare 04:38 PM 07-17-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I missed that as well.

I guess I would pursue the debt anyways...small claims, conciliation court, credit bureau etc...
I miss everything. I have horrible reading comprehension skills.. thank goodness I teach preschool
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amberrose3dg 04:47 AM 07-18-2017
I plan to send both her and her husband an email about the funds not paid. She did text me a "nope" when I asked if they were coming back. Our county will put a lien on your personal property if you receive a judgement. The sad thing is they are turning a small amount of money into a much larger amount.(late fees, interest etc..) They knew how much the daycare was and said they were fine paying it. They NEVER paid on time not once. They never even brought up payment. She took on a second foster kid and asked me for a spot for her for summer. I was crystal clear what summer rates were and was already giving them my lower rate as it was. They said they were fine paying the rate. I did not let it get out of hand like they pulled during the school year with the ONE kid. Now they have TWO kids here and are not paying. They have the money they just choose not to spend it on the kids(his shoes were too small, old clothes, long sleeves in summer, no shorts). The thing is they want to adopt these children. I guess they will expect free service every where they take them. The only good thing I can say about all of this is at least I will have a smoother summer. Both of the kids have major behavior issues. The 3 year old has been sent home for punching my son and hitting another girl in the eye with an ipad. The 11 year old lies just to lie. They also don't feel they should be pay for shorter days because of his behavior. At the end of the day I truly feel sorry for the kids and that is why I put up with so much "abuse".
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