I am trying to get the things that really drive me crazy under control and most of this has to do with parents. I've been doing daycare for just over a year and like it but lately I feel taken advantage of and disrespected. I seriously think that parents think of me as their kid's/their butler. I want to avoid tension with parents but am making myself irritable in the process.

I have a parent that got off work early yesterday and hung out for 35 minutes during snack. It's so hard for me to say "please leave". I feel like parents should not be touching or messing with other people's kids but she got right down with 3 babies and let them hang all over her. This same parent occasionally shows up late... After close and wants to discuss everything about her 16 mo. Olld. Keeping her from leaving my home for an additional 15-20 min. She also hints at me giving her son different foods than the other kids... And spoon feeding him. "I think he'd eat more if his food was pured and fed to him." Well, no. Because he needs to learn how to feed himself. This mom also brings her kid when he's sick. A few weeks ago she brought him saying his diarrhea was from teething and milk intolerance. I stupidly went with it not knowing how bad it was. Then he had two blowouts so I told her. She showed up at my house with Pedialyte, Gatorade, and other "sick" stuff telling me to put him on a clear liquid diet. I told her he needed to go home and she tried to argue it! No. Just no. This one also argued with me on Monday because she didn't believe he really needed more diapers. Why would I lie about him needing more diapers!

Next, I have a parent who wants her 11 mo. Old to not get a 3rd breast milk feeding per day because she pumps 2xsper day and only wants to do it once. BUT she doesn't want to do formula. What the heck do you want me to feed her then? Grrr. I'm on the food program so I told her what they require so hopefully that helps. So the food program says 2-4 oz. Bm for snack. She chose to do 2 oz. At snack which is at 3:15pm and then was 20 min late at pickup so 11 mo. Old was screaming angry for milk... Again late pickup really irritated me and no one bothered to tell me they were going to be late.

I have 5 families and only 1 has never paid late or picked up late/dropped off early.

I have one parent that has texted me telling me to have their kid ready (coat and shoes on) because they were in a hurry. (They were picking up early) Ugh, no I'm changing diapers and WORKING. I'm not your personal attendant. They also brought his Halloween costume on Halloween and told me to send them pics of him when I dress him in it. None of the other kids brought costumes so I wasn't going to put 1 kid in it and make them all cry for theirs! This one is 5 and super babied at home.

Moral of the story parents drive me crazy.

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Oh my gosh, yeah all of those are crazy!
Um, puree for a 16 month old!?
Um, don't want to feed your 11 month old enough food!?
Um, want me to do your chores and tasks related to being the parent!?
He'll no!

Sorry you're dealing with these! It sound like you're good and ready to clear up the 'confusion' some of your parents are having!

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Make an addendum to your illness policy that excludes for SYMPTOMS of illness. "Sorry dcm, I exclude for symptoms. Regardless if the diarrhea is caused by dairy intolerance or a stomach bug, the children are sent home and cannot return until they are symptom free without medication for a 24 hour time frame."

Breastfed infant needs to be fed on demand. I would just call every single time baby was hungry and there was no more milk.

Doesn't matter if FP says 2-4oz, if baby wants 8 she gets 8.

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For the parent staying for over 30min. You can say that she needs to be background checked in order to be around the kids. And she would have to pay for it. She will probably say no and stop hanging around lol.
For all you know, she could have a bad background, so she really shouldnt be hanging out with the kids unless licensing approves.

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If theres one thing you learn in this business its to be direct and strict.
When I first opened my daycare I too let parents step all over me. But that made me miserable and made me hate my job. So I decided I need to run my daycare like an actual business and make strict rules that not only I follow but the parents too.

I had a parent who also liked to hang out after hours talking. I let her know that late pick up was unacceptable. I planned my personal appointments, knowing I close at 6pm and that late pick up interferes with that. Under no circumstance do I allow for late pick up ( unless its a real emergency ) But it seems like its happening frequently to you. And I made it clear in my contract that its $5 per every 10min late. That parent never came late again or decided to hang out.

I also had a parent who liked to come in and hang out during drop off. I let her know that she was welcome, however drop off had to be made quickly. Unfortunately I am responsible for the other children and cannot be distracted. We also have a schedule to follow and her long drop off period was interfering with that.

Seems like you really need to update your contract and stick by what you say. IF not your only going to let the job drive you crazy. Dealing with the parents is the hardest part of this business

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You sound like you could use a copy of my book.

It's daycare parent 101

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Do you have a contract or policy handbook that the parents have to sign before you take their kids? It sounds like they do not take you seriously as a business woman and service provider.

What a bunch of dolts, I feel really bad that they are treating you this way. You need to stand up for yourself by getting a backbone and not allowing this behavior. If you do not have a contract of your policies it might be time to get one and get these parents to sign. Say something along the lines of “due to increasing demands on my time and energy as a service provider I thought I would develop a set of policies and procedures going forward. In order for care to continue everyone must read and sign. I understand if these policies are something you do not want to move forward with so please let me know if you will be giving notice”. Something like that. Then start enforcing like a mofo

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No, no, no, no.....
Just no. I have issues similar and I totally can relate. Just know you are not alone.

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Oh boy you have your hands full. For the first issue, I would have the kids involved in something that she cannot be a part of or have them in their highchairs so she can't be hanging on them or them on her. Then say, "sorry dcm, I"m right in the middle of (insert whatever", I'll see ya tomorrow! I would flat out tell her that I'm not pureeing his food. I would not be shy about that. I mean, unless he has zero teeth lol. Is he your last one to go home at the end of the day? Have your coat and shoes on and tell her, sorry I have errands, gotta go! Do it a couple of times and she'll get the hint. Or send out a mass email, text etc and say, don't mean to be rude, but I have to cut conversations short at pickup time as I have quite a bit to get done. That way you're not just targeting her if you don't want to.

The second situation. Let me get this straight, she wants you to only feed 4 ounces of breast milk the entire day for an 11 month old? No cereal, fruits, veges? Over 5 months here, we're required to serve those things in addition to breast milk. Why is she only feeding breastmilk?

Lastly, the one that wants you to get child ready quickly. I'm assuming it's a text. If you are too busy, then when they come, just say Oh I'm sorry I was doing this or that, I didn't see your text. I do have one mom that does that occassionally. I know that she's barely able to get out of work to get dcb to swim class, so if I'm able, I have him ready and waiting. She always thanks me, so if I can, I do it. But if you're too busy, then just tell them you are just too dang busy. They'll get over it.

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I've actually thought about trying the errand excuse! That'll probably be my next tactic haha.

As for the milk, she wants me to only feed 10 oz. Per day. Two 5 oz feedings. I give food too but this baby wants three 5-6 oz sippy cups of milk with her food. All of my other kids get 3 cups of milk per day too. I don't want to cut her short. At least give me formula or something. I avoid juice because I'd rather give it as a treat and I feed a lot of fresh fruits instead.

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A good rule of thumb, at least for me is honesty.
I wouldn't ever lie or pretend I have to be somewhere at pick up just so a parent doesn't linger. You'll end up having to perform the same act every day from now on...

Instead I choose to be open and honest and simply tell a parent, "I understand wanting to chit chat at the end of the day but the nature of my job does not allow me regular breaks during the day so at the end of the day, I want to be done. period. If you would like to chit chat, you are welcome to come a couple minutes earlier in the morning and chat before going to work."

9 out of 10 parents wouldn't dream of wasting THEIR time like that so they don't come early to chat.... they are wasting YOUR time at the end of the day and getting YOU to continue providing care/entertainment for their child for FREE....

Put a stop to it and simply tell them they need to get their child ready and go...don't stop to chat, smell the daisies or anything else, just get your kid and go home.

Everything that needs to be said should be said with a smile and if a parent doesn't understand and respect what you say they are showing you they do not value you or your time in the same manner they value theirs. Do you really want clients like that?

Like I said, I prefer honesty with a smile verses passive aggressive attempts to get selfish parents to see my perspective.


As for the parent with the milk issues.... provide her with a copy of the meal requirements from the food program. Tell her you are required to follow those requirements and if she wants something done differently she needs to have her child's physician fill out a special diet statement outlining feeding requirements.

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Uff, I need to work on being more direct... Another thing I've been wondering about but can't seem to find any info on is: who is responsible for the child when the parent is present in my home? The lingering parent once sat on the bottom of my staircase while we were playing downstairs and let her 16 month old go all the way up by himself! my heart was in my throat watching him... he is not stable enough to go up stairs without someone behind him in case he falls. So who's liable for that accident if it happens!?

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You. ANYTHING that happens on your property is YOUR responsibility.
Even if the parent signed the child out and left the building but stays to let their child play in your yard.

I have a very strict policy about this. I can message you what it says in my handbook about it if you would like.
Just let me know!

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For the record, my post did not intent to come off as lieing to the parent about running errands. I have to say that it is rare that I'm not running out the door as soon as the last child is picked up. Sometimes I will put fresh makeup on or go to the bathroom first, but when I have a talker, I make sure i'm ready to run out the door and most times I"m getting into my car before they are lol I would not lie and just drive around the block versus being directly honest with her if I didn't have somewhere honestly to go.

The last part about the milk bingo! I would do the same on that. We have to follow the food program guidelines or have a dr's note.

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I wouldn't have thought you would lie personally anyways... we've both been around here long enough to know each other fairly well.

I was kind of just commenting on it in a general way because I know a lot of newer providers will take the easier ways out of things verses just doing the hard work of telling it like it is.

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