Here is my original post. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54049

I didn't see where I could edit the tittle with the word "update" .
SO DCM texted me back from our Friday conversation. She said her DD wasn't coming tomorrow because Gramma wanted to keep her again. And that her husband would swing by with the check as promised. I had already texted her this morning that from now on she will pay by the day,and I just won't charge her for when her DD doesn't come. She's here only 2 days and lately it's been 1 day off and on. My Policy from the get-go is you pay by Friday, for the following week. However, since she obviously doesn't want to follow that rule and I'm ready to replace her with a FT child. I don't want to have to refund $ when that happens.

So she emails me just now and explains that the way we have it works better for them. To pre pay on Fridays,unless her DD is sick, or is not going to be here. So Friday she was saying she only wanted to not pay(in advance) if she was sick,now she's saying sick AND not here .
Here is a portion of the email addressing this situation:
* Keep in mind this child is ONLY here on Monday's and Friday's. * But sometimes,only either,or. Which is why I figured it make sense and be easier for both of us (especially me) for her to just pay by the day with no strings attached.

" I talked it over with (insert her husband's name) and we actually like the system we had before with pre paying for the week ahead....that way we don't get behind. In cases where she may be ill on Friday and not there we'd pay on the Monday for that week. also, we don't mind paying you for days she's not there like Friday due to sickness or some reason from our end cause that is how any daycare does it. I appreciate you offering to change it but we'd like to stick with how we were doing it because it worked for us."

Do i just tell her it's not an offer ???

She can pay in advance if she wants. But then she will still miss the whole point that it was my policy to pay on FRiday from the getgo, regardless . And then I will just be changing things again ,for their convenience .

It's even clearer than ever that I do need to make up a new handbook, and I will , but I don't have the time to sit at my computer and write,and re-write something up until I get it right... So that won't be done for a while. I need help knowing what to say back to her to explain that I was expecting payment on Fridays because that was my policy, that she was told about.

Is it OK to tell her that I already acknowledged that I was sorry for not speaking up about that policy on August 3rd,but since she didn't want to follow it this time either, I felt it was best to just change it entirely to pay by the day since she isn't here but 1-2 days anyway ? She will most likely take it as me being rigid because her DD was sick. It wasn't like she was in the hospital or was something super serious,after all ,gramma has had her. And it wasn't that she wants it to be a 1 time thing. She wants to pay by the day if DD is sick,or absent now BUT pay in advance if she's not sick or absent.

In the meantime until I get my new handbook/contracts written out,
What do you think I should say ? Just say yes to whatever she wants, until I have the handbook ready and then say "DCM I have drawn up a new handbook so we can be on the same page from now on" And then put the ball in her court after that,to agree or not agree and that's it ?
i think our relationship is salvageable, but I have to figure out how to communicate what I want before the new handbook gets written, or wait it out and Terminate .

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ALso, It will say in the hand book, For future PT/Drop in's I am going to make it so they pay by the day,and not in advance. maybe I can tell her that ?

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Well, in reading that, you're getting a better deal the way she's wording it. She says she'll pay you for 2 days whether her dd is there or not unless you're closed. You were only going to charge her for actual days attended. So, that sounds good. So the way you have it, she is paying you on Friday for the following Monday through Friday correct? So, on Friday she's not paying for days that you have already provided care. I don't see the big deal for her to pay Monday for that day and the upcoming Friday if her daughter was sick the previous Friday. Especialy if she's paying for 2 days even if her dd is sick. I think that if my child was sick I wouldn't want to go to grandmas and get her, go to your house and pay you and then go home. I can see you being upset if you had already provided care, but she is paying in advance.

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I'm sorry, but I really don't see where you are coming from. IMHO, the way she wants to do it is in your favor vs the way you want to do it...

By waiting 2 days to get paid, IF the child isn't there on Friday, you get paid for 2 days vs the 1 day you want.

I do understand that her way isn't the way YOU want it, it's not YOUR policy, but it's in your favor.

My policy is the same, parents pay on Friday for the following week. I have one single father that gets to this area about 8 - 8:30 on Friday nights. By the time he picks up his child from his mom, stops at the store to get cash, and gets to my house, it's at least 9 PM. I don't want to deal with daycare issues at 9 on a Friday night. I don't want to deal with it over the weekend. I've asked him to pay on Monday mornings. It's not my policy, but it's in my best interest.

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Are you wanting the change so that you can make her a "drop-in" and then tell her that you don't have space once you find a replacement?

If that is the situation, I would just tell her that you are no longer going to do part time as of January 1. If she wants the spot, she has two weeks to tell you and the rate is XX. If she doesn't, you interview and hope that you fill the spot on time.

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Last night I didn't see this thread. I am new to using google crome. I couldn't see where a refresh button was. SO I posted an update on my other thread (using my phone) late last night. Came back here this morning to look for this thread again,found the refresh button, hit refresh, and found my thread, lol . (The browser was still up)
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"Are you wanting the change so that you can make her a "drop-in" and then tell her that you don't have space once you find a replacement? "

Yes,but I'm not entirely sure. I still have decisions to make. So It would possibly be a very long time (months) before I signed on with any new people, so I don't mind hanging onto her until then, so long as things smooth out between our communication situation and me creating a new handbook&written agreement. I might just decide to only take infants until age 18 months or 2. I have loved only having infants this past year .

So if I decide that, I might want to just ride it out,until she gets closer to 2 and is out of the stranger anxiety age. Still deciding...

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So here is today's update:
I didn't replied back to her email last night because I was actually posting on here hoping for replies to know what to say back to her. And I don't really have to reply right away. I didn't know what to say back yet. I didn't want them knocking on my door this morning and felt it was no point saying so, because I already did when I said from now on,she can pay by the day.

At 7;15 we get a knock at the door and there is DCK's dad with a check for today&Friday. I was still sleeping before hearing the knock, my phone was in silent, and my husband wasn't decent (he hadn't showered,and had to throw on a t-shirt).

After he leaves, I go look at my phone like I always do, when I first wake up. And see she texted me at 6:15am saying " Just letting you know (insert her DH's name) is going to drop by with the check for this week at around 7:15."
Thanks for the heads up,but I am not up&dressed at 6am, unless I have a childcare kid coming in . AND I never saw the text because I was sleeping&my phone was on silent. I also noticed a missed call from Her DH (telling me he was on his way in voice mail) . If I don't reply back to a text at 6am like that , I didn't get your message ! ;-)

It's not like she knows I'me even up at that time! Her DD usually gets dropped off around 8:15 and occasionally at 7:30 with advance notice. Never 6. The other baby that comes might be here at 6, 1 day of the week (when she's not here) and she doesn't know that.

There is no reason I would be up at that time. After nursing my 13 month old around 4/5am ,he & I go back to bed unless I know that particular child is coming at 7:30 ,instead of her usual 8:15 time. In that case,I'll put him back to bed and sleep until 6:30/7 .
I texted her back and told her I didn't get her text until right then, (it was 7:20 at that point after her DH came&went) because I was still asleep up until he knocked at the door. And luckily my DH heard the door.

For all she knew, I may not have read that email she sent around 9 pm. I didn't reply back to it because I was hoping to figure out what I wanted to say back. I thought I'd figure something out by Friday,when she dropped her DD off, and the check I said to drop off then too, instead of today.

I think we will be on the same page communication wise, once I lay everything out on paper. Like "If I don't reply I didn't get your message" and so if they get mad I don't answer my door, because of a schedule change, or they just feel like dropping by, not knowing if I'm awake,or even home,etc... well...I can't help it, if they have it in writing that I need to reply back/have seen the call/text first.

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