GAD - generalized anxiety disorder - Not related with childcare but because I have seen before in this forum members mentioning they deal with this problem, I'm coming here with hopes to find some help and find a “START” in helping my brother.

He is 36, divorced and have lived for about 10 years with this undiagnosed “challenge”. I can no longer watch him suffer with the isolation and hopelessness this problem has brought into his life!!! ...but I don't know how to help him!!!

He is medicated to help him sleep and stay asleep every night and is medicated to help him with his stomach issues due to his anxiety... Although this medications help him with some of the symptoms, it does not solve his inability to take life's challenges in a normal way and is preventing him to find and keep a job... find a girlfriend... go to social events... deal with life's unpredictability.

For those of you that deal directly or indirectly with this problem, can you share your experience...?

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I have a general anxiety disorder. I had my first really scare with it 3 months after I had my son (over 8 years ago now). When it first started happened I felt completely unable to cope with life. I also had panic attacks and had agrophobia at that time (a fear of situations where I had had a panic attack in). Twice in my life both within 3 years of each other I couldn't leave my home because I was unable to function around other people due to my anxiety issues. At one point I spent a whole month in bed plagued with the disease I had. I took anti-anxiety medication (Ativan to be specific) and it helped but the doctor who prescribed it to me kept me on it too long and I got addicted and withdrawing off of that medication is as hard as withdrawing from Herion. I had about a 2 year time frame after coming off the medication where my anxiety ruled my life. Anxiety was the main symptom of withdrawal. Funny how a drug that is suppose to "cure" anxiety creates it when you quit it. I was 21 years old when I got to the "end" of my struggle with anxiety. At that point it ruled my life and everything I did. I didn't think I would ever be normal again. I started googling online to find help and I found a site based on cognitive behaviour therapy that totally changed my life. I changed my way of thinking and I over came my anxiety disorder. I am now free from anxiety ruling my life. I can do everything anyone else can do. I don't have panic attacks anymore. I have no fears of anything (that isn't normal to be fearful of). My thought patterns and stress levels are much much healthier. On top of that I am completely medication free. It is possible for your brother to get ON TOP of his anxiety disorder. I would suggest cognitive behaviour therapy.

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My DS suffers from some anxiety issues but not enough to be considered extreme or needing medication (any more),

He used to take meds for it but was always told that medication ALONE will not and will never solve anything.

Medication is to only treat symptoms not eliminate or cure the underlying cause of the symptoms.

I think you brother needs to be in counseling/therapy.

He needs to address the causes of his anxiety and that can only honestly be done with counseling or therapy to teach him methods of dealing with his anxiety. He needs to learn coping skills and how to manage those feelings of despair and helplessness.

If he doesn't address the cause, the symptoms will never be under control.

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I agree 100% medication is only to treat (or hide) Symptoms it in no way is a cure.

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The problems you have said your brother is dealing with (finding/keeping a job, finding a girlfriend, being a part of social events, etc...) sound very much associated with agoraphobia. The pattern usually goes: generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder then agrophobia. Each one seems to feed off the other. Does your brother also suffer from panic attacks? Like for instance when his anxiety levels get really high he may have a speeding heart, problems breathing, feel disoriented, feel like he may throw up? He may then feel like he has to "flee" from the situation he is in?

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This is so inspiring.

He only had 1 panic attack but he does throw up very often. To better explain his pattern, I'll describe the situation we are living today:

He decided that being a CNA (certified nurse assistant) could be a good career option in our state and therefor he enrolled in CNA classes in our local college. Of course e procrastinated the enrollment as much as he could and when he finally enrolled himself he choose the last date class available. Classes are Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays and some classes will be in college, other classes will be in health facilities practicing. The classes in college went well but this Thursday will be his first class in a health facility. So his levels of anxiety raised and last night he could not fall asleep even so he took the usual medication for anxiety and to sleep. By dawn he was throwing up... several times! He went to class but asked to leave because of vomiting. Now, I've seen this too many times to pretend I don't know what's going to happen next – every night he will throw up more and more ... and after several days of doing so I will take him to the ER where he will stay for 1 day in intravenous therapy . After that he will return home not vomiting and will take about 3 days recuperating (as if he had a very bad stomach bug)...

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And this is his reaction to every new event in his life... no matter if it is just a party I'm planning to our family... no matter if it is going to a new doctor... going to a relatives function... driving somewhere he never been before...

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This reaction not only happens because of new events... happens whenever some subject keeps tormenting his mind. If there is something that he can not take off of his mind, he won't be able to sleep and by dawn he will end up throwing up several times for several days!!!!

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Yes it seems his "fears" (anxiety) are based on change or new. He is pretty much fearing the unknown and his thought patterns are likely fixated on "what if" thoughts. He likely stressing himself out (and makes himself sick) thinking of MANY, MANY, MANY negative things that **LIKELY WON'T HAPPEN** in any given "new" situation and in doing so he triggers his body to release adrenaline which can accelerate his heart rate, make his breathing more difficult, cause tummy discomforts, feelings of disorientation, etc... These physical feeling in themselves will trigger more fear and "what if" thoughts based on the new physical feelings he is having. He may now think; "what if I throw up in front of everyone?" "what if I have a heart attack because my heart is beating so fast" etc...

What he needs to learn to do is conquer those "what if" thoughts. This is what cognitive behavioral therapy will assist him in doing. Once he can desensitize his mind to these thought patterns he will be able to over come his anxiety altogether.

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Yes!!

When I came across GAD on Google I advised him to look for counseling/therapy … but that's another problem about this disease.... he has no initiative!!... No will to become proactive and solve his problems. He wants a magic pill that will keep him from ever feeling anxiety/fear. I feel like I need to actually pick him up and carry him!!

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I'm going tonight to make some research on what there is available in my area for “cognitive behavioral therapy” and will come back with more question... thank you!

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Your very welcome. Please message me anytime if you have more questions or need more advice/support. You are an awesome sister for helping your brother through this!!!

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I wanted to comment on this.

I have personal experience in dealing with GAD, social anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.

I have suffered for years. My issues go way back to middle school (now I can see that looking back as an adult).

I have learned to manage my stress over the years and can (for the most part) control my anxiety myself. I know what my stressors are, but have learned this by recognizing my bodies reaction to those stressors. This takes a lot of work to get to this point.

I have done therapy, I have been on anxiety meds (in the past and only temporarily). But at the end of the day I discovered that really...I HAD TO GAIN CONTROL OVER MY BODY AND MIND!

Now, I realize you want to help him. However, encourage him to seek help from a professional...he really needs to recognize the root of his issues.

Tread lightly so you are NOT ENABLING HIM. You are likely his "safe zone" and everything else outside this is "unsafe." It will take a lot of work, but he can get well (if he wants to face his fears and issues head on).

Now for me, I was doing great prior to doing daycare. Now that I am home ALL DAY my anxiety is worse when I leave my house.

PM me anytime!!

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He has no control over his mind... as if the part of our brain that panics when we face an emergency is always on in his brain with no need for a cause to ignite it. His issues go back to his very troubled marriage 10 years ago.

Did therapy worked for you? My brother does not believe therapy would help him. Thoughts and feelings are a mine zone for him. So he thinks therapy will only stir the pot and aggravate the situation. I find hard to believe he will ever seek therapy or a professional help on his own... (it's so aggravating!!!!) So I was thinking maybe a GAD Support Group would be a good start for him (no talking but listening to others' experiences and success stories)... but I can not find any of those support groups at a reasonable distance from where we live.

He is a broken person and his attitude towards his disease is soooo passive/hopeless... he mentioned suicide a few time in the past...

Me and my mother had such hopes that these CNA classes would go well and motivate him to get out of his room and build some new bridges... but today we feel we are taking steps back. My parents are now over 65 years old and very tired and sick over my brother's disease.

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yes, therapy helped some. I did a lot of self reflection. If he has mentioned suicide he seriously needs help ASAP. A support group would be very helpful. Men generally have a tendency to NOT seek out help. They tend to believe they can fix it themselves, its just the way they are wired. But I think he really needs a professional immediately.

Keep us updated on how he's doing.

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