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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Ever Know After The First Day
WImom 09:06 AM 10-25-2011
After one day that the child is not a good fit for my program? Do I give her a heads up that Thursday may be his last day?
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cheerfuldom 09:07 AM 10-25-2011
yes. One time I termed after a day and a half. That was literally all I could take of this child, it was BAD.
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Cat Herder 09:12 AM 10-25-2011
Absolutely.

I know what I will/will not tolerate AND what I am willing to work with. (It is generally different for each provider)

If a child made it through to actually BE HERE (enrolled) for one day and I realized they just won't fit, I would know that somewhere along they way I had been lied to.
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awestbrook713 09:14 AM 10-25-2011
I have had some tough kids that have bounced from this provider to that but I stuck it out and can say these kids our a few of my best, some times they just need guidance but sometimes they are just not right for your daycare.
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MamaBear 09:16 AM 10-25-2011
YES! I had one last not even a whole day! He screamed & cried the entire time and NOTHING I did would calm him down. He was a devil baby! haha I had to term on the spot. I think you just know right away. Gotta listen to your gut!
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newtodaycare22 09:59 AM 10-25-2011
Yes, and I had only been open 2 months. Most people on this board told me to wait. After 1 day I was up in the air. After 2 days, I gave a warning notice. On the third day, he was done. Best decision ever.
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mismatchedsocks 10:02 AM 10-25-2011
I only had a drop on baby that i just couldnt take twice! He "spit" up orange for a couple hours. I called mom, she said he had 6 yes SIX! jars of squash. I had her come to get him. Oh yea and he was 3 months!!!!!!!
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nannyde 10:11 AM 10-25-2011
yes I can tell at the interview most of the time. Sometimes I'm wrong but not usually.
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misspollywog 10:28 AM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
yes I can tell at the interview most of the time. Sometimes I'm wrong but not usually.
^^ Same here. I require that they bring all of the children to the interviews now (I learned the hard way) and I know pretty much within 10 minutes if the parent/child(ren) are a fit.

I'm very picky and have no issue telling them it won't work out.
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WImom 11:14 AM 10-25-2011
I'm preschool based (2y-5y)and I think this child just isn't ready for that even though that's what mom was looking for. I haven't gotten a single thing done today except redirecting this child.

From 8-11 I've had constant grabbing of others, laying on top of others, taking toys (I don't think he got one toy today that wasn't in someone elses hand), knocking toys over (other kids towers, etc), throwing toys. I couldn't even go to the bathroom or help others in the potty. Mouthing EVERYTHING, turned around at art and his paper pumpkin is in his mouth. Not interested in circle time, group time, music time - I had to cut all three short because It was too annoying have to keep stoping. Doesn't sit still for storytime. He is 'potty trained' but peed on my floor after being here 10 minutes. I stuck a pull up on him and we've gone to the potty atleast 9 times this morning. I don't think he really knows when he has to go.

Right now I'm sitting next to his nap mat this he keeps getting off of and being loud. If he doesn't nap today I think I'm done today. Mom says he naps 12:30-3:00, well it's 1:15 and he doesn't seem to be getting sleepy. I was going to wait it out the rest of the week to watch for improvement but I just don't know.

Yes, I know these are 2y old things but If I can't do anything but watch this child then this isn't going to work. I'm exhausted and the other kids haven't gotten any of my attention today.

WHAT DO I SAY AT PICK UP TO MOM????
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misspollywog 11:25 AM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
WHAT DO I SAY AT PICK UP TO MOM????
You summed it up pretty nicely with:

Originally Posted by WImom:
Yes, I know these are 2y old things but If I can't do anything but watch this child then this isn't going to work. I'm exhausted and the other kids haven't gotten any of my attention today.
I would start with that and end with "perhaps he isn't a good fit for my program".
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nannyde 11:34 AM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
I'm preschool based (2y-5y)and I think this child just isn't ready for that even though that's what mom was looking for. I haven't gotten a single thing done today except redirecting this child.

From 8-11 I've had constant grabbing of others, laying on top of others, taking toys (I don't think he got one toy today that wasn't in someone elses hand), knocking toys over (other kids towers, etc), throwing toys. I couldn't even go to the bathroom or help others in the potty. Not interested in circle time, group time, music time - I had to cut all three short because It was too annoying have to keep stoping. Doesn't sit still for storytime. He is 'potty trained' but peed on my floor after being here 10 minutes. I stuck a pull up on him and we've gone to the potty atleast 9 times this morning. I don't think he really knows when he has to go.

Right now I'm sitting next to his nap mat this he keeps getting off of and being loud. If he doesn't nap today I think I'm done today. Mom says he naps 12:30-3:00, well it's 1:15 and he doesn't seem to be getting sleepy. I was going to wait it out the rest of the week to watch for improvement but I just don't know.

Yes, I know these are 2y old things but If I can't do anything but watch this child then this isn't going to work. I'm exhausted and the other kids haven't gotten any of my attention today.

WHAT DO I SAY AT PICK UP TO MOM????
Can you put him back in diapers and set up a play yard for him? Sounds like he's not potty trained and isn't group ready. He may need some time where he's in a smaller area and just has cloth toys to play with. He may need time to just WATCH the kids do what they do.

If you can't manage it then let him go. If you have the space to give him his own space for a month or so then GRADUALLY in short spurts increase his exposure to the other kids and your routine.

Have the play yard area for him to return to if he is overwhelmed and acts out in the group.

Cat has an amazing set up. Maybe she can help you.
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Cat Herder 12:52 PM 10-25-2011
I can send you a friend request so you can see my set-up if you'd like?

I do exactly as Nan said...

Let him be part of the big group in spurts until he is ready to join full-time.
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WImom 12:57 PM 10-25-2011
Sure that would be great cat. Thanks.

Not sure how much I can do though since I don't have any pack-n-plays and my preschool is all one room with different centers set up (house center, block center, etc)

I tried to have him play by himself but he has a 1 minure attention span.

I'm going to leave him in the pull ups since I don't want to deal with diapers and the potty. I know at home he is in underwear at nap and night. I'm hoping that the potty issues are just him being new?
I'm going to ask mom about him going so many times. At story time today I told him no that he'd have to wait since we had JUST gotten back 2 minutes before and he went did both. I wonder if it's an attention thing here or he's bored?

I have another 2y old that has some sharing problems. When she has one of her days I can put her at the table and give her some cooling off time by herself. That works with her. I tried that with him but he won't stay in his seat.
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KBCsMommy 12:59 PM 10-25-2011
I termed a child like that 2 weeks ago.

I was hating life at that time, just like you constant redirecting. The child needed more attention than my infants!!

If I had the room I would have kept him in a seperate area just like Nanny says too.

I dont regret it one bit.....but now Im scared all toddlers are like that!!
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cheerfuldom 01:00 PM 10-25-2011
can I see your set up too cat? I am really curious....sorry to hijack this thread.
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KBCsMommy 01:01 PM 10-25-2011
Also the child was in my home daycare for 3 whole weeks.

I had told his mom after 2 weeks we should give it a few more weeks to see if we could work out the kinks.

But after the third week I was done..things were only escalating into other problems.
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Cat Herder 01:04 PM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
can I see your set up too cat? I am really curious....sorry to hijack this thread.
Absolutely!! I thought you were already on there...

OP, for the potty problems, is it possible he just has a bit of anxiety IBS? I see that from time to time with my own kids during finals...
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daycare 01:20 PM 10-25-2011
but how do you know during the interview...please teach me this..

Reason I ask is becuase most children act completley different with me than they do with thier parents..

In fact I had a DCB that came for an interview and he just about knocked all of my books down off my shelf. I could clearly see that the parents don't parent.

He was one of my best DCK I had. The parents were great too as long as they werent with the child...lol....so sad they left for kinder..... I wish I could have cloned that whole family...
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Cat Herder 03:24 PM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
but how do you know during the interview...please teach me this.....
I think every provider will have a different answer.

I, personally, know based on the PARENTS:

*Behavior - Do they treat Me, my home, belongings and family with respect?

*Philosophies - Are they planning on "Attachment Parenting" while expecting me to "Group Care" 50 hours a week?

*Goals - Do they have the same goals/values for their children that I do? Their child will be alone with me about 2500 hours a year, after all.

*Attitudes - Facial expressions/body language to standard Group Care Procedures. Nothing tells me as much about their expectations of me faster than telling them exactly how I do CIO.

*Cohesiveness as a couple.

Most CHILD issues I can work with. My only child "Instant Ejector Seat" issue is Non-Provoked, Non-Age Appropriate, Violence.
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cherryhill 03:45 PM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I think every provider will have a different answer.

I, personally, know based on the PARENTS:

*Behavior - Do they treat Me, my home, belongings and family with respect?

*Philosophies - Are they planning on "Attachment Parenting" while expecting me to "Group Care" 50 hours a week?

*Goals - Do they have the same goals/values for their children that I do? Their child will be alone with me about 2500 hours a year, after all.

*Attitudes - Facial expressions/body language to standard Group Care Procedures. Nothing tells me as much about their expectations of me faster than telling them exactly how I do CIO.

*Cohesiveness as a couple.

Most CHILD issues I can work with. My only child "Instant Ejector Seat" issue is Non-Provoked, Non-Age Appropriate, Violence.
Hi Cat,

Can I view your set up. We are moving so it would be nice to seed what I can try to achieve.
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nannyde 04:08 PM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by KBCsMommy:
I termed a child like that 2 weeks ago.

I was hating life at that time, just like you constant redirecting. The child needed more attention than my infants!!

If I had the room I would have kept him in a seperate area just like Nanny says too.

I dont regret it one bit.....but now Im scared all toddlers are like that!!
I think it's hard to find one that's not. Sadly....

We need to recognize that little kids don't really need a ton of space and that having their own area and gradually introducing them into healthy good play takes TIME. Start small and be successful... then a little bigger... a little more. If you have a hard time then restart.

rinse and repeat
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