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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child Is 100% Potty Trained At Home But Not Here
WImom 06:07 PM 04-18-2011
I have talked about this DCG before on potty training but I was speaking to her mom on how she is doing at home since she will go here but only if I take her ever 1.5 hours. If I don't saying anything she won't go on her own she will potty in her underwear. It's been a month so told parents I'm going back to just pull ups (we were doing underwear and pull ups) since I don't want the huge mess anymore.

So at home she hasn't had an accident at all for weeks. Goes on her own or tells parents. Also goes when they are at the store (tells them), or other places away from home.

Why won't she go here on her own??? I feel bad having her in pull ups here when she isn't at home. I'm so baffled. I've had two others potty train here and they did fine. All the other kids but one are potty trained so I don't get it.

Anyone?? I feel like that parents are tired of talking about this as am I. I just don't know what to do about it. I really hope they don't leave over this.
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daycare 06:12 PM 04-18-2011
this is so normal... DC is extremely different than home. There are alot of distractions at DC and therefore kids often get to distracted to want to go to the bathroom or listen to the signs that their body is givign them telling them to go.

I know that some time parents will get frustrated, but it's very normal and to be expected. Once you explain this to the parents, they will understand.


I have this statement in my potty training policy:


Please keep in mind that often children will show all signs of readiness and have success at home before the signs are seen at child care. Due to all of the distractions and excitement that goes on while at the daycare, there may be a period of time that your child is potty trained at home, but not at daycare. This is completely normal and happens quite a bit.
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cheerfuldom 07:19 PM 04-18-2011
the other option is that the parents are lying to you (whether intentionally or unintentionally). They may just ask her or take her often enough to where it is just not a problem at home. They may also just be flat out lying because its easier for them to act like its not a problem. Its amazing what parents will lie about when comparing what their kids are or are not doing at home. Sometimes it is just the perspective and other times, it is deception.
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Live and Learn 07:21 PM 04-18-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
the other option is that the parents are lying to you (whether intentionally or unintentionally). They may just ask her or take her often enough to where it is just not a problem at home. They may also just be flat out lying because its easier for them to act like its not a problem. Its amazing what parents will lie about when comparing what their kids are or are not doing at home. Sometimes it is just the perspective and other times, it is deception.
True....
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Meyou 02:05 AM 04-19-2011
I'm leaning towards mama and dad are trained at home to make sure she get there on time. I had one family swear their son was fully PT and ready for underwear here and he couldn't take his own pants off. Reality was that mom and dad were excellent potty trainers and got him there on time every time. I let them know that being able to undress and redress themselves is the first step and they seemed to have skipped it. Still cracks me up thinking about his blank stare when I told him to get undressed and go potty.
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boysx5 02:40 AM 04-19-2011
I have on dcg who will be two next month for six months they keep saying she goes on the potty at home. Well one day she picked up early to her to the dr. and she said oh lets use the potty before we go. Well the mom put her on the potty and held her down not to get off sang a song turned on the water and guess what she didn't go. I said that is not being potty trained thats forcing her to go. I tell them all they need to tell me when they need to go on the potty if I had to take them every ten minutes so they don't wet their pants I would be in the bathroom all day
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WImom 03:40 AM 04-19-2011
thanks everyone. Makes me feel better. I'm just going to to ignore it for a week or two and see what happens. I'll still take her when we have our potty breaks but we'll see what happens inbetween there.
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nannyde 04:36 AM 04-19-2011
Potty training success is second only to health claims when it comes to parental lying. You have to sort through what is truth and what is either perceived incorrectly or purposely deceptive.

This is why I only look at the child's success HERE. I don't take into account what he/she is doing at home. It doesn't matter if it's the truth or not. It's what they do HERE in my environment that matters to my carpet.

Just wrote a blog about this: https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/pott...to-parents.htm
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Unregistered 01:28 PM 08-22-2019
This thread went from giving advice to parents on dealing with a real issue to accusing parents of lying. How nice...

My 3.5 y/o son is FULLY potty trained at home. Gets up, goes to the bathroom, undresses as needed, does his thing, finishes up. But he is resistant to doing the same at daycare. My provider has them at the park ALL THE TIME. Yeah, no bathrooms there right? So, big surprise when he pees himself I guess. Or yesterday, took a big shit in his underwear. If they are at the park 15 minutes from home, where's he supposed to poop??

nannyde - maybe it's YOU and YOUR environment that are the cause of the failure..ever consider that?

So how about you 'professionals' out there quit with the bs and provide some actual suggestions? Reading the replies here, I'm begging to understand more and more where the real problem lies, and it's with providers like you bunch of hags.
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springv 01:43 PM 08-22-2019
Michael, please take a look at this!!!
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Blackcat31 01:57 PM 08-22-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This thread went from giving advice to parents on dealing with a real issue to accusing parents of lying. How nice...

My 3.5 y/o son is FULLY potty trained at home. Gets up, goes to the bathroom, undresses as needed, does his thing, finishes up. But he is resistant to doing the same at daycare. My provider has them at the park ALL THE TIME. Yeah, no bathrooms there right? So, big surprise when he pees himself I guess. Or yesterday, took a big shit in his underwear. If they are at the park 15 minutes from home, where's he supposed to poop??

nannyde - maybe it's YOU and YOUR environment that are the cause of the failure..ever consider that?

So how about you 'professionals' out there quit with the bs and provide some actual suggestions? Reading the replies here, I'm begging to understand more and more where the real problem lies, and it's with providers like you bunch of hags.
I am fairly certain that name calling isn't helpful or productive at all.

You can be angry at child care providers all you want but when you resort to acting like a 2nd grader and begin calling names and pointing fingers with NO real solution you too are just part of the problem.

If you are unhappy with your provider why would you continue subjecting your child to such a negative environment? That part is all on you!!!

Sincerely hoping you have a better day than the one you are apparently having.
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Blackcat31 01:58 PM 08-22-2019
Originally Posted by springvalley112:
Michael, please take a look at this!!!
Any time you come across a post that needs moderating just click the red/white triangle in the upper right hand corner of the post. It will send a notification to moderators to view/edit or delete.

Thank you!
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Jo123ABC 06:39 PM 08-22-2019
I agree that the child might just be too distracted and having fun during daycare to stop and go potty. I have a timer watch for one of mine now that will remind her and me that it's time to try. She's a bit older though. Daycare is a busy scene! I don't always watch the clock because I'm busy with all of the little people instead.

I'm going to be training 4 kids at the same time soon. That's the first time I've had to do so many at once so I'm not looking forward to it! Two are toward the end of their training though and have some independence.
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Ariana 11:57 AM 08-23-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This thread went from giving advice to parents on dealing with a real issue to accusing parents of lying. How nice...

My 3.5 y/o son is FULLY potty trained at home. Gets up, goes to the bathroom, undresses as needed, does his thing, finishes up. But he is resistant to doing the same at daycare. My provider has them at the park ALL THE TIME. Yeah, no bathrooms there right? So, big surprise when he pees himself I guess. Or yesterday, took a big shit in his underwear. If they are at the park 15 minutes from home, where's he supposed to poop??

nannyde - maybe it's YOU and YOUR environment that are the cause of the failure..ever consider that?

So how about you 'professionals' out there quit with the bs and provide some actual suggestions? Reading the replies here, I'm begging to understand more and more where the real problem lies, and it's with providers like you bunch of hags.
In your case there is clearly a reason. Provider is bringing them to the park without access to bathrooms. I assume he goes to the toilet when he is in her home and has access to the toilet?

This kid that the OP is talking about does not go even when they have access to the toilet. Doesn’t that seem odd? A fully trained child just stops being toilet trained when with their provider all day? Does it make sense why providers MIGHT conclude the parents are lying?

Whenever there is a deviation between what is going on at home and at care it is always glaringly obvious the parents are not being truthful. It is possible they think he is potty trained because they take him to the toilet all the time which others have suggested.
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Unregistered 10:19 AM 02-25-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This thread went from giving advice to parents on dealing with a real issue to accusing parents of lying. How nice...

My 3.5 y/o son is FULLY potty trained at home. Gets up, goes to the bathroom, undresses as needed, does his thing, finishes up. But he is resistant to doing the same at daycare. My provider has them at the park ALL THE TIME. Yeah, no bathrooms there right? So, big surprise when he pees himself I guess. Or yesterday, took a big shit in his underwear. If they are at the park 15 minutes from home, where's he supposed to poop??

nannyde - maybe it's YOU and YOUR environment that are the cause of the failure..ever consider that?

So how about you 'professionals' out there quit with the bs and provide some actual suggestions? Reading the replies here, I'm begging to understand more and more where the real problem lies, and it's with providers like you bunch of hags.
And parents like you are the first to complain when we DON'T take kids to the park.
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ColorfulLearning 02:40 AM 02-26-2020
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
the other option is that the parents are lying to you (whether intentionally or unintentionally). They may just ask her or take her often enough to where it is just not a problem at home. They may also just be flat out lying because its easier for them to act like its not a problem. Its amazing what parents will lie about when comparing what their kids are or are not doing at home. Sometimes it is just the perspective and other times, it is deception.
omg so true. I had a parent bring me underwear and tell me they were potty training and the kid would come in diapers size 3 so I just figured she was just using up what she had...fine right? nope...after 2-3 weeks she brought him in size 4, then months later it came out that she wasn't even potty training him. Guess she thought I was gonna take care of it by myself lol. I made her bring me pull-ups and I just stopped putting him on the potty. If your not doing it at home, im not doing it either. So its in my policy I will start only once your child is showing readiness at home and they still can only use pull ups here until they are fully potty trained.
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Unregistered 12:31 PM 02-28-2020
Not that the previous poster should have responded that way - so rude - but the parents may be completely telling the truth and may be at as much of a loss as we are. My son is fully potty trained with his parents. He sometimes asks us to come in the bathroom with him, but he does it all himself. He tells us every time he needs to go. He even told us when he needed to go multiple times when we were at *Disney World.* If that's not a fun and distracting environment, I don't know what is. That was almost 2 months ago. And yet my son still has regular accidents at his home daycare. She will take him and put him on the potty when she knows he needs to go but he won't pee. 5 minutes later if she's out of the room he will pee his pants. He has never done it when she is actually in the room. We think he must just not be comfortable around her but he's been with her almost 3 years since it was just a couple months old. We are thinking of switching daycares because of some other concerns as well, but if anyone has any productive ideas, I'm all ears.
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Ariana 08:00 PM 02-28-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Not that the previous poster should have responded that way - so rude - but the parents may be completely telling the truth and may be at as much of a loss as we are. My son is fully potty trained with his parents. He sometimes asks us to come in the bathroom with him, but he does it all himself. He tells us every time he needs to go. He even told us when he needed to go multiple times when we were at *Disney World.* If that's not a fun and distracting environment, I don't know what is. That was almost 2 months ago. And yet my son still has regular accidents at his home daycare. She will take him and put him on the potty when she knows he needs to go but he won't pee. 5 minutes later if she's out of the room he will pee his pants. He has never done it when she is actually in the room. We think he must just not be comfortable around her but he's been with her almost 3 years since it was just a couple months old. We are thinking of switching daycares because of some other concerns as well, but if anyone has any productive ideas, I'm all ears.
If this were my child and I felt they were fully potty trained but were urinating in their clothes because they were too scared to tell their provider they would not be going back ever again.
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Rockgirl 04:56 AM 02-29-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Not that the previous poster should have responded that way - so rude - but the parents may be completely telling the truth and may be at as much of a loss as we are. My son is fully potty trained with his parents. He sometimes asks us to come in the bathroom with him, but he does it all himself. He tells us every time he needs to go. He even told us when he needed to go multiple times when we were at *Disney World.* If that's not a fun and distracting environment, I don't know what is. That was almost 2 months ago. And yet my son still has regular accidents at his home daycare. She will take him and put him on the potty when she knows he needs to go but he won't pee. 5 minutes later if she's out of the room he will pee his pants. He has never done it when she is actually in the room. We think he must just not be comfortable around her but he's been with her almost 3 years since it was just a couple months old. We are thinking of switching daycares because of some other concerns as well, but if anyone has any productive ideas, I'm all ears.
Some kids won’t go if someone is right there watching them on the toilet. I find they’ll go if I step out of the room....I guess the pressure is off.
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Tags:2011, potty trained - not, potty training issues
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