Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>He Comes. He Cries...
coolconfidentme 09:39 AM 03-11-2014
DCM drops off, he cries.
Another DCM drops off, he cries.
He picks up a toy, plays a minute, then cries.
You change him, he cries.
We go outside, he cries.
A car goes by, he stops to look, then cries.
We eat, he stops.
We get done, he cries.
Other DCM picks up, he cries.
Other DCM looks at him, he cries.
My son stopped by, he DIDN'T cry! (My son is 26, just back from serving in Japan)
Otherwise all day long, he cries.
We have 4 kids his age to play with, but he cries.
DCB is 18mths old. He is PT & seems miserable.

We are 3 weeks into this. WWYD?
Reply
preschoolteacher 09:44 AM 03-11-2014
I have him. He's PT, 2 years old, and it's been 2 months with little improvement. I decided that if nothing changes this week (we can go outside again so I hope that will help), I'm giving notice. It's hard on me. The other kids have worse behavior because of the constant crying. Just not working out.
Reply
coolconfidentme 09:51 AM 03-11-2014
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
I have him. He's PT, 2 years old, and it's been 2 months with little improvement. I decided that if nothing changes this week (we can go outside again so I hope that will help), I'm giving notice. It's hard on me. The other kids have worse behavior because of the constant crying. Just not working out.
Exactly! My other kids are starting to whine too.
Reply
Blackcat31 09:58 AM 03-11-2014
Ugh! Part time kids are sooooo hard.

I dunno...if you think he is "fixable", then I would just keep trying to reassure him. If he isn't getting any better art all....

I'd have to do what's best for the group as a whole and let him go.
I couldn't deal with a group of whiners all trained by one child.
Reply
Heidi 10:26 AM 03-11-2014
The only way I'd keep him, assuming you have the space and energy, is if they agreed to bring him FULL TIME for the next 2 weeks (and pay for full-time). Maybe, after that much time he'd get the hang of it and feel more comfortable. If not, end of week 2...bye bye.
Reply
Heidi 10:28 AM 03-11-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Ugh! Part time kids are sooooo hard.

I dunno...if you think he is "fixable", then I would just keep trying to reassure him. If he isn't getting any better art all....

I'd have to do what's best for the group as a whole and let him go.
I couldn't deal with a group of whiners all trained by one child.
We have that disease here, too. Unfortunately, the "instigator" is rotated on a daily basis. Could be the 8 mo one day, the 2 1/2 year old the next. So...yeah....

The best days are the days when I have 5 or 6 here, 2 of which are a 4 and a 5 year old. They have so much positive energy, it raises the bar for everyone else!
Reply
sharlan 10:45 AM 03-11-2014
Part-timers are soooo hard.

I have a 5 mo 2 days a week, luckily it's T and W, back to back. She's so hard on T, wanting to be held all day, not wanting to sleep, eating every 2 hours. W, she's so much better.

My new little guy (16 mos) cried over everything for the first two weeks. He cried every single time someone entered or left a room, every single time any door in my house was opened or closed. He screamed for 20 - 30 mins at naptime, at mealtime. I was so ready to let him go, but decided to give him one more day and he finally settled down.
Reply
KSDC 11:15 AM 03-11-2014
I had that one - now he is my sweetest little DCB. He was a little older than yours. 26 mos on his 1st day.

He was actually termed at a different DC because of the crying. DCM was very forthcoming with me at her interview. She was a SAHM and this was his first time at DC. I gave him a trial period.

What I did was designate a certain chair as his "crying spot". It was in the living room, separate from the play room. Still in line of sight. Then, any time he felt the need to cry, I carried him to the crying spot. He could see the fun he was missing. I gave lots gentle reminders that as soon as he was done crying he could come play with us. (I made sure to not be punitive about this. It wasn't a punishment for crying. It was the place that we was allowed to cry. KWIM?)

The first day was very looooong. Lots of going back and forth. But, by day 2 there was a BIG improvement. Within a week he was pretty much done crying. Now, 4 months later, I wouldn't give him up. And, I get to add his 3 year old big sis in May when I have an opening.
Reply
MarinaVanessa 12:22 PM 03-11-2014
Mine lasted 6 weeks doing this and this is her second week of not crying. Hang in there!!
Reply
Atroya 03:06 PM 03-11-2014
I have one too. 18m, also PT. She was doing way better until last week. She was sick the days she was supposed to be here, so it has been 8 days since she has been here. She has been with coddling DCM and DCD, and with Gma and other Gma. Comes back and acts like she did the first week. Just like your original post. Whining and crying about everything. Did not take a nap but whined the entire nap time. She is my husband's cousin's baby, would be hard to term.
Reply
coolconfidentme 03:12 PM 03-11-2014
I told DCM he is starting over every week & is miserable. Right now he is with g'ma on the days he isn't here. She is going to bring him 4 days a week to see if that helps. If it does, she will go to 5 days. Let's see if that helps.
Reply
daycare 03:26 PM 03-11-2014
do you mind if I ask what you are doing when he cries? do you go to him and try to comfort him, do you pick him up, do you carry him etc...



Reply
coolconfidentme 03:33 AM 03-12-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
do you mind if I ask what you are doing when he cries? do you go to him and try to comfort him, do you pick him up, do you carry him etc...


We try to redirect him with a toy, big wheel or game to play. He is entertained for about 3 minutes & then the crying & whimpering starts again. I'm forever offering hugs & he only wants them when another adult comes to drop off. This is his 1st time away from family. I do the crying spot like KSDC for older children. I'n not sure if he is old enough to understand it.
Reply
cheerfuldom 06:30 AM 03-12-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
We try to redirect him with a toy, big wheel or game to play. He is entertained for about 3 minutes & then the crying & whimpering starts again. I'm forever offering hugs & he only wants them when another adult comes to drop off. This is his 1st time away from family. I do the crying spot like KSDC for older children. I'n not sure if he is old enough to understand it.
I do the crying spot for kids this young. Clearly, attention and hugs is not making this better so you may have to pull out the big gun.....ignore. Also, are you sure he is not sleep deprived? At 18 months, most of my kids are still on a morning nap of 1 to 2 hours and then another afternoon nap of 2 to 3 hours. My other guess would be that he is not napping at grandmas or is being held for cat naps.
Reply
Shell 06:53 AM 03-12-2014
Agree with cheerfuldom. With different care givers, it is unlikely the child is getting consistency with naps or much else.
I had this child, and it did stop, but it took about two months (part time also).

One thing I did, because all of my families are understanding, was to ask the other parents to pass their kids to me and vice versa for just a week so the little guy wouldn't get upset when another picked up, and it wasn't his mom or dad. No one had a problem with it, and it worked. I also found dcb wouldn't cry around my dad (like your son), and it turned out he related my father to being similar to his grandfather, and that kind of helped. That was my only adaptation, besides sitting near him on the floor- not holding, cuddling, or anything, just making my presence known. He finally started playing on his own, and not needing me.
Reply
Tags:crying - all day, part time, transitioning
Reply Up