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Ariana 08:50 AM 03-19-2019
I have a new 12 month old that just started with me 3 weeks ago. The first week she did well but then got sick and was out for a few days. When she came back she was a mess. She cosleeps at home and is up breastfeeding 4-5x a night. Parents did nothing to get her ready for daycare. So I told the parents they needed to sort out her nightime sleep or I will need to terminate. Luckily they did and she came in yesterday happy and engaged with the environment. Zero crying.

Then today she is back to being a mess again. She cries and follows me around wanting to be picked up. I have never had a kid do this. They are usually so independent at this age. In my opinion she is developmentally delayed. She cannot pull to stand and has trouble self feeding at meal times. She also startles easily and seems to have rigid joints.

I am just not sure what is going on. How much crying is normal at this age? How much do you pick kids up when they are wanting to be picked up? I don’t want to encourage more crying. I picked her up today and she sat with me while we all coloured at the table but as soon as I put her down she started crying again. Mom says she is not like this at home at all and is not cuddly at all. I just don’t understand what is going on. I thought it was all sleep related.
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Cat Herder 10:20 AM 03-19-2019
I'd ask mom what her independent play environment looks like at home. Does she play in a crib? Is she in an exersaucer or swing? Is she always attended by an adult? Is she always gated away from an adult?
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AmyKidsCo 11:46 AM 03-19-2019
How long has she been with you total? It could be that she just needs more time to get used to the new environment and other children. It can be intimidating to be put into a new place with kids that are bigger and louder than you.
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Jupadia 12:17 PM 03-19-2019
I've got one guy been here a year now and is great now.

First started at a year, bed shares with parents still, only slept in own bed at home a couple times in last few weeks. But we were able to sort the sleeping thing out here and he rose fine for naps, in fact one of best sleepers. This did take a few weeks to sort out, I find he slept best on a vote, and we skipped the pack n play.

When he first started he would scream bloody murder if I went to change a diaper, stir a pot in next room. In fact he banged his head on my gate first day, and ended up with some lovely bruises, just reaching for me. (Lucky his brother had already in my care so mom knew me). He did this even though brother was in room. Overall problem was that at home the was carried everywhere. It took awhile for him to become as happy as he is now. I would use pack n play / or playyard when leaving room just so he did not smack himself again. After a couple weeks is when I saw the most improvement. I also did things like when on floor playing I would give hug but make him sit beside me and play. (Which caused tears at first)

It realy just up to you if you have the time and paticiance in your day to change behaviour and set timeframes for improvement. This is the one issue I have with the year of mat leave, is kids at a year old all of a sudden get thrust into full time care, and it can be a hard adjustment for some.
I did have one just start this month at 10months and she has done great. Wont take bottle from me, but will lay down with one on a pillow. (Took 2 weeks to get her to do).
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Ariana 02:23 PM 03-19-2019
Thank you everyone for your input!

Chatted with mom at the door and she told me that she did wake up a few times last night. It remains to be seen I guess if they actually sleep trained. At home she gets to roam around and play like here and she is not in a jumper or exersuacer which is good because I don’t use those things. Based on how she was yesterday I really just suspected a sleep problem again. I am beginning to suspect they are not being consistent. We will see. She slept 4 hours total here and I had to wake her.

She started with me the last week of February and that was a transition week so only 3 full days and she was perfect! Was happy to see me, played well, all was good. The following week she got sick and was out from Wednesday onwards and then also missed the following Monday as she had roseola. So last week she was here tuesday to friday. She was cranky, fussy and cried at drop off every day. This week we had a good Monday but today is more of the same, cried at drop off and wanting to be picked up.

I guess poor kid needs more time to transition. I have transitioned quite a few 12 month old in the past two years and this is the first problem I have had so it is throwing me for a loop! I never have kids crying at drop off
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Ariana 09:54 AM 03-20-2019
Today I gave her a full hour nap upon arrival and it seems to be doing the trick! I was cutting it off at 40minutes. I guess this little one needs a bit more sleep eventhough she sleeps well at night now. I will keep at it
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Mom2Two 11:28 AM 03-20-2019
I've just been through a hard spell with a dcg who started at 10 months--the perfect age for separation anxiety. She came with a great older brother, so I have toughed it out.

The things that helped were (1) getting her to attach to me. Yes, she was clingy but at least she wasn't constantly screaming. She was happy if I sat and looked at the computer, so we spent many hours together in the Fall, doing things like watching the California fires on the computer.

It was hard when I had to leave the room though. Fortunately, that kid LOVED to eat. So if I set her in her high chair with food, I could sneak out to use the bathroom or whatever.

She also loved her older brother, who is a really nice kid and loves her right back. Sometimes I could leave her close to her brother, reading a book together or something.

I'm not sure if I could have survived this kid without her love for food though, and the fact that her great older brother made it all worth it. Parent have been good too.

Now she's like 15 months and walking and doing great.
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Ariana 08:40 AM 03-21-2019
Great tips! Right now the one hour nap is helping a lot and sitting on the floor. I am not picking her up but she seems happy with me sitting on the floor at the moment. I got up a few times to get lunch, tidy up, put on music and she just crawled wherever I went without crying which is great.

So happy it has turned around
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Mom2Two 11:14 AM 03-21-2019
I am SO happy for you. It is so great when things work out in a positive way. And if you can deal with her like this now, hopefully things will only get better as her development progresses.
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Tags:1 year old, crying - all day, sickness
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