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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents Who Spend Vacation Without Their Children
Oneluckymom 12:42 PM 04-30-2012
So, I have a couple of parents who took vacations and left their children with grandma. I cannot even think of doing this, esp. if I had my child in daycare 10hrs a day/5days a week. When do they get quality time with their kids.
One of my parents went to Las Vegas for without their child for 5 days and left DCG with grandma, and the other has been in town but has their kid with grandma for 4 days. I just don't get it? They are already away for so long during the day and then to leave them for that length of time at a solid stretch is just unthinkable.
I just feel like parents don't REALLY enjoy being parents anymore.
Our family goes EVERYWHERE together...unless we really can't help it which is RARE
One of my parents went to Las Vegas for without their child for 5 days and left DCG with grandma, and the other has been in town but has their kid with grandma for 4 days. I just don't get it? They are already away for so long during the day and then to leave them for that length of time at a solid stretch is just unthinkable.
I just feel like parents don't REALLY enjoy being parents anymore.
Our family goes EVERYWHERE together...unless we really can't help it which is RARE
SunshineMama 12:48 PM 04-30-2012
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
So, I have a couple of parents who took vacations and left their children with grandma. I cannot even think of doing this, esp. if I had my child in daycare 10hrs a day/5days a week. When do they get quality time with their kids.
One of my parents went to Las Vegas for 5 days, and the other has been in town but has their kid with grandma for 4 days. I just don't get it? They are already away for so long during the day and then to leave them for that length of time at a solid stretch is just unthinkable.
I just feel like parents don't REALLY enjoy being parents anymore.
Our family goes EVERYWHERE together...unless we really can't help it which is RARE
Are we living in a parallel universe? I had the SAME thing happen- Vegas for one kid and grandmas for a week for the other.So, I have a couple of parents who took vacations and left their children with grandma. I cannot even think of doing this, esp. if I had my child in daycare 10hrs a day/5days a week. When do they get quality time with their kids.
One of my parents went to Las Vegas for 5 days, and the other has been in town but has their kid with grandma for 4 days. I just don't get it? They are already away for so long during the day and then to leave them for that length of time at a solid stretch is just unthinkable.
I just feel like parents don't REALLY enjoy being parents anymore.
Our family goes EVERYWHERE together...unless we really can't help it which is RARE
The only time I ever spent a night without my kids was when I was in the hospital- delivering another one of my kids!
I just miss them too much and am a worrier. Kudos to the parents who have that kind of trusting relationship and freedom- I don't have it in me.
Unregistered 12:57 PM 04-30-2012
I don't think it's bad if you want to take a trip without the kids once in a while. We take one trip with the kids and one without them each year. Grandma & Grandpa LOVE to have 5 days with them while we're gone. I don't think I could just do trips that don't include them ever though. I like doing one of each since it feels more fair this way. They still get to go somewhere and we still get to have a little time to ourselves.
cheerfuldom 12:58 PM 04-30-2012
We will be going on a vacation without our kids coming up soon....it wont be five days and we dont regularly leave our kids. We are lucky to have in-laws that are 100% capable of caring for the kids and our kids have no issue spending the night over there. I wouldnt be too hard on the parents because we all need kid free time. As long as it is not like every other month, i wouldnt be too judgey about it.
Christian Mother 01:01 PM 04-30-2012
Can I join in on this...What is with Vegas?
I too have a family going on vacation to Vegas beginning of July. I thought it would be the 4th through the 8th turns out it is only the 5th through the 8th when I told them how much for a holiday.
They normally take a couple of vacations with out the kids each yr. i can never understand it but I am like you guys. We like having the kids with us and we choose things that involve the kids although I do understand the need to get a way with hubby it's just that for my husband and I...we love doing things with the kids. Sometimes when their young it's hard to enjoy. I just think when their young and you do vacations with the kids...you feel like a kid as well...
I too have a family going on vacation to Vegas beginning of July. I thought it would be the 4th through the 8th turns out it is only the 5th through the 8th when I told them how much for a holiday.
They normally take a couple of vacations with out the kids each yr. i can never understand it but I am like you guys. We like having the kids with us and we choose things that involve the kids although I do understand the need to get a way with hubby it's just that for my husband and I...we love doing things with the kids. Sometimes when their young it's hard to enjoy. I just think when their young and you do vacations with the kids...you feel like a kid as well...
Springdaze 01:04 PM 04-30-2012
I would LOVE to get away without my kids! I think we need to focus on how we can give the best experience when they are with us and not wear ourselves out worrying about how the parents choose to raise their kids.
Oneluckymom 01:08 PM 04-30-2012
The reason I just can't understand it is because of a few reasons: first, they are in daycare ALL DAY already, second when you take kids with you you are making memories that kids will forever keep with them, and third if you need to get out with hubby can't you just do a nice dinner evening out or a day trip (why 5 days alone).
Blackcat31 01:24 PM 04-30-2012
Maybe they never got a honeymoon?
Maybe they have never been offered a week at grandma's before?
Maybe they won the trip?
Maybe they work really hard and have never had a vacation alone before?
Maybe they plan on taking all future vacations as a family but since their kids are little now, it is more beneficial to have a vacation without them?
Maybe they are Bill and Jane and NOT just a mom and a dad?
Maybe they are going to Vegas to do something inappropriate so it is a good thing the kids aren't going?
Maybe one of them has some weird disease and they are seeking alternate treatment from some wack-o quack only found in Vegas?
Maybe they are meeting up with another couple for a ......(well another reason to not bring the kids with).?
Maybe they just need a break from their daily life so they can come back refreshed and ready to deal....?
Maybe they are attending a marriage group?
Maybe they are job seeking?
Maybe they are house hunting?
Maybe one of them is dying and seeing Wayne Newton is on their bucket list?
Who knows.....but I really don't think we can or should be judging these parents. We have never walked a mile in their shoes, we aren't living in their homes or living their lives so I don't think we ever really know the whole story. Everyone defines parenting differently and I honeslty think that if it really bothers people so much, then refuse to participate in the fact that they leave their child in child care for such long hours. If they use 50 hours per week but don't work that many, then don't provide care for them.
You can't control what others do but you can change what you do. If you don't like the type of parenting a person has going on....and it really gets to you, then don't provide care to those kinds of parents.
We can't have it both ways.
Maybe they have never been offered a week at grandma's before?
Maybe they won the trip?
Maybe they work really hard and have never had a vacation alone before?
Maybe they plan on taking all future vacations as a family but since their kids are little now, it is more beneficial to have a vacation without them?
Maybe they are Bill and Jane and NOT just a mom and a dad?
Maybe they are going to Vegas to do something inappropriate so it is a good thing the kids aren't going?
Maybe one of them has some weird disease and they are seeking alternate treatment from some wack-o quack only found in Vegas?
Maybe they are meeting up with another couple for a ......(well another reason to not bring the kids with).?
Maybe they just need a break from their daily life so they can come back refreshed and ready to deal....?
Maybe they are attending a marriage group?
Maybe they are job seeking?
Maybe they are house hunting?
Maybe one of them is dying and seeing Wayne Newton is on their bucket list?
Who knows.....but I really don't think we can or should be judging these parents. We have never walked a mile in their shoes, we aren't living in their homes or living their lives so I don't think we ever really know the whole story. Everyone defines parenting differently and I honeslty think that if it really bothers people so much, then refuse to participate in the fact that they leave their child in child care for such long hours. If they use 50 hours per week but don't work that many, then don't provide care for them.
You can't control what others do but you can change what you do. If you don't like the type of parenting a person has going on....and it really gets to you, then don't provide care to those kinds of parents.
We can't have it both ways.
wdmmom 01:25 PM 04-30-2012
Between my husband and I, we have 5 children. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a weekend alone, let alone an entire week?! And, how do these people afford it?! I haven't been on a weeks vacation (kid free) since my honeymoon back in 1999!!!
I had a family go to Florida back in October for a wedding. They were gone Thursday through Tuesday and DCB stayed with grandma and auntie. They then returned to Florida earlier this month taking their child with them.
Most either take their children with them or don't take a vacation.
I had a family go to Florida back in October for a wedding. They were gone Thursday through Tuesday and DCB stayed with grandma and auntie. They then returned to Florida earlier this month taking their child with them.
Most either take their children with them or don't take a vacation.
saved4always 03:27 PM 04-30-2012
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
The reason I just can't understand it is because of a few reasons: first, they are in daycare ALL DAY already, second when you take kids with you you are making memories that kids will forever keep with them, and third if you need to get out with hubby can't you just do a nice dinner evening out or a day trip (why 5 days alone).
There are some things that my husband and I cannot do at a restaurant without getting arrested. The reason I just can't understand it is because of a few reasons: first, they are in daycare ALL DAY already, second when you take kids with you you are making memories that kids will forever keep with them, and third if you need to get out with hubby can't you just do a nice dinner evening out or a day trip (why 5 days alone).
LadyBugHugs 07:34 AM 11-16-2013
Needed that reminder! Thanks
Unregistered 12:24 PM 02-12-2013
I think it depends on the couple.
Once upon a time when I lived in my fairy tale bubble prior to having kids with my 1st husband I thought - What is wrong with all those people going on vacation without their kids? Why do they even bother having kids?
However, after my husband left me at 9 months pregnant and I met an amazing man who had a daughter of his own and we married and are now expecting our own baby girl, I have different opinions.
1. I had to get used to not having my newborn son with me due to shared custody with my ex from when he was three days old. I have had to deal with not having him a couple nights a week - not from any choice of my own. However, I have realized - that he survives without me. Had I not had that happen, I am pretty sure I'd be a mom that never had her kids apart minus daycare.
2. My new husband and I have 2 kids between us and 1 on the way. We have also only been together less than a year. We are still in that honeymoon phase which I hope will never go away. On nights when we don't have my son and don't have his daughter we try to make plans to go out with just the two of us. We have realized how important a weekly date night is to our relationship. We are sooooo busy the other nights with work, kids, extra curricular activities, etc... we need to make time for us where we talk about each other and build our relationship. Have time where we discuss how we are going to adapt to this new blended family, etc.
3. My husband got a free white water rafting trip with his company last year. Neither kid was old enough to go - and being that it was a company trip, 1- we felt like we had to go 2- White water rafting? Awesome!!! Grandparents would love to have the kids for two nights.
4. One thing I have always believed is that your children are only going to be at home for roughly 18 years - if every thing is centered around them all the time, building a relationship with your partner is difficult for when you become empty nesters. You may not even know each other that well anymore. I came from a family that doesn't have any divorces so I wasn't used to the concept - however, my parents are celebrating their 45th year of marriage together this year and they are happily married. I do remember going to my Grandparents or Aunts almost every Friday or Saturday night and spending the night though. First - I usually begged for it - it was a ton of fun. Second, my parents wanted to keep their marriage alive.
5. I definitely want to take my kids on vacation. In fact we have taken a couple family vacations with the kids in the last year and have one planned this year. However, I think the kids will survive for 5 days if we went somewhere with just the two of us. Would I miss my babies? Absolutely!!! Would I enjoy alone time with my spouse? Absolutely!!! Would having some time with just the two of us strengthen our relationship so we can be better united parents? Absolutely!!!
*Not to mention there are vacations we would love to do now that the kids just aren't old enough to participate it (too rugged, strenuous, not enjoyable, etc) that we would probably not be able to do when we are in our 50s and 60s.
*What about parentst that send their kids to overnight came in the summer and take their vacation at the same time? My parents used to do that. We would go on a family vacation and then I would go to camp for a week - best time of my life - a couple times for two weeks and while I didn't know it at the time, I know now that they went on vacation while I was at camp.
*I personally don't and wouldn't go on vacation to so called get away from the kids - but bonding time with my husband while letting the kids know they can function without parents for a week and have them learn some social skills and independence didn't hurt anyone imo.
Once upon a time when I lived in my fairy tale bubble prior to having kids with my 1st husband I thought - What is wrong with all those people going on vacation without their kids? Why do they even bother having kids?
However, after my husband left me at 9 months pregnant and I met an amazing man who had a daughter of his own and we married and are now expecting our own baby girl, I have different opinions.
1. I had to get used to not having my newborn son with me due to shared custody with my ex from when he was three days old. I have had to deal with not having him a couple nights a week - not from any choice of my own. However, I have realized - that he survives without me. Had I not had that happen, I am pretty sure I'd be a mom that never had her kids apart minus daycare.
2. My new husband and I have 2 kids between us and 1 on the way. We have also only been together less than a year. We are still in that honeymoon phase which I hope will never go away. On nights when we don't have my son and don't have his daughter we try to make plans to go out with just the two of us. We have realized how important a weekly date night is to our relationship. We are sooooo busy the other nights with work, kids, extra curricular activities, etc... we need to make time for us where we talk about each other and build our relationship. Have time where we discuss how we are going to adapt to this new blended family, etc.
3. My husband got a free white water rafting trip with his company last year. Neither kid was old enough to go - and being that it was a company trip, 1- we felt like we had to go 2- White water rafting? Awesome!!! Grandparents would love to have the kids for two nights.
4. One thing I have always believed is that your children are only going to be at home for roughly 18 years - if every thing is centered around them all the time, building a relationship with your partner is difficult for when you become empty nesters. You may not even know each other that well anymore. I came from a family that doesn't have any divorces so I wasn't used to the concept - however, my parents are celebrating their 45th year of marriage together this year and they are happily married. I do remember going to my Grandparents or Aunts almost every Friday or Saturday night and spending the night though. First - I usually begged for it - it was a ton of fun. Second, my parents wanted to keep their marriage alive.
5. I definitely want to take my kids on vacation. In fact we have taken a couple family vacations with the kids in the last year and have one planned this year. However, I think the kids will survive for 5 days if we went somewhere with just the two of us. Would I miss my babies? Absolutely!!! Would I enjoy alone time with my spouse? Absolutely!!! Would having some time with just the two of us strengthen our relationship so we can be better united parents? Absolutely!!!
*Not to mention there are vacations we would love to do now that the kids just aren't old enough to participate it (too rugged, strenuous, not enjoyable, etc) that we would probably not be able to do when we are in our 50s and 60s.
*What about parentst that send their kids to overnight came in the summer and take their vacation at the same time? My parents used to do that. We would go on a family vacation and then I would go to camp for a week - best time of my life - a couple times for two weeks and while I didn't know it at the time, I know now that they went on vacation while I was at camp.
*I personally don't and wouldn't go on vacation to so called get away from the kids - but bonding time with my husband while letting the kids know they can function without parents for a week and have them learn some social skills and independence didn't hurt anyone imo.
Scout 04:05 AM 02-14-2013
Personally, I think every parent needs and deserves a vacation away from their kids!! When I grew up my parents went to Vegas every year for Labor Day and left us with our Grandparents too. It did nothing to us emotionally in the long run. We are both good parents and good people in general. I have spent all but 3 nights, 5 if you count when I had my second child away from my DS in 4 1/2 years and I think that if we had the opportunity to get away without him it would make me a better parent!! Parents need a break sometimes, there is nothing wrong with this. Some will agree with it, some won't. It doesn't mean that they are not good parents or that the kids will grow up feeling slighted! JMHO.
Binkybobo 04:57 AM 02-14-2013
Hi, I'm here to sign up for the kid free Vegas week.
makap 05:27 AM 02-14-2013
I am taking a vacation tomorrow!!
My hubby and I are going to have some mommy and daddy alone time.
We are getting up, sending our son to school and then spending the whole day together!
It is so important to spend time alone with your partner without the children but for me to leave my son for a week or so while I go away on a holiday would never work. I would miss him way too much and feel so guilty.
I have only been away from him once when he was 3 for a week due to an emergency with one of my other grown children. I had to fly to where she lived to help her deal with an emergency. Other than that I have never been away from my son for more than 24 hours since he has been born and he is going to be 10 next week!
But that is just me and how I feel about leaving him. All parents are different and are entitled to do what they are comfortable with.
I am really looking forward to my one day "holiday" tomorrow with my hubby! It is going to be so much fun! We just may make this a one day every month thing!
My hubby and I are going to have some mommy and daddy alone time.
We are getting up, sending our son to school and then spending the whole day together!
It is so important to spend time alone with your partner without the children but for me to leave my son for a week or so while I go away on a holiday would never work. I would miss him way too much and feel so guilty.
I have only been away from him once when he was 3 for a week due to an emergency with one of my other grown children. I had to fly to where she lived to help her deal with an emergency. Other than that I have never been away from my son for more than 24 hours since he has been born and he is going to be 10 next week!
But that is just me and how I feel about leaving him. All parents are different and are entitled to do what they are comfortable with.
I am really looking forward to my one day "holiday" tomorrow with my hubby! It is going to be so much fun! We just may make this a one day every month thing!
rmc20021 05:08 AM 02-14-2013
I totally get what people are saying about leaving their kids while they go on vacation after their kids are already spending so much time in daycare, BUT parents need to nurture their relationships with their significant others as well.
I once (ONCE) went on a vacation with my (ex)husband without the kids and it was sooooo amazing to just be able to reconnect again and be able to do adult things. Maybe if we had done more vacations without the kids we wouldn't have gotten divorced...
Now if the parents are doing this all the time, and the kids are left behind every time the parents go on vacation, then no, I don't agree with that.
I once (ONCE) went on a vacation with my (ex)husband without the kids and it was sooooo amazing to just be able to reconnect again and be able to do adult things. Maybe if we had done more vacations without the kids we wouldn't have gotten divorced...
Now if the parents are doing this all the time, and the kids are left behind every time the parents go on vacation, then no, I don't agree with that.
Lawson2 06:14 AM 02-14-2013
I believe parenting and marriage need a healthy balance.
I don't own a home daycare yet, but I have been a nanny for 15 years. I know parents who NEVER see their children. If they take their kids on vacation, they leave them in the Kids Club the whole time.
A few years back, I nannied for a couple who NEVER spent time with their baby. They were in their late thirties and had fertility treatments to have her, so you would have thought she would be priority... The first time they left me with her, she was 5 months old. They went to Paris for 2 weeks. This was insane to me! I was with her more than they were!
Then I nannied for a family who have the means to travel and have a full time nanny. The mom only used me part time and she actually was a present parent. Her and her husband took a week away each year without the kids and I would watch them. I totally understood that they needed that break. That to me is a healthy balance.
Now I am a mother. We don't have the means for a nanny or to travel all of the time. We do take a few trips a year. We are traveling next month and taking our son. We also just went to NYC last month for a weekend and left our son with his grandparents. We had a great time seeing a show/dining out, and just catching up as a couple.
There was an earlier post about how we in America leave our children more than other countries (something on the lines of that). I can't speak for everyone, but my husband is English and my step-father is from New Zealand. It is actually normal to travel and most families do quite a bit. Of course they have more vacation time than most of us... It is very easy to travel to different countries and we know lots of people who take getaways without their children (and these are normal parents who don't neglect their kids).
What Blackcat said in a previous post was spot on.
Not sure if anyone read the book Bringing Up Bebe'? But it is about an American woman bringing up her two children in Paris and the difference in child rearing between our cultures.
I don't own a home daycare yet, but I have been a nanny for 15 years. I know parents who NEVER see their children. If they take their kids on vacation, they leave them in the Kids Club the whole time.
A few years back, I nannied for a couple who NEVER spent time with their baby. They were in their late thirties and had fertility treatments to have her, so you would have thought she would be priority... The first time they left me with her, she was 5 months old. They went to Paris for 2 weeks. This was insane to me! I was with her more than they were!
Then I nannied for a family who have the means to travel and have a full time nanny. The mom only used me part time and she actually was a present parent. Her and her husband took a week away each year without the kids and I would watch them. I totally understood that they needed that break. That to me is a healthy balance.
Now I am a mother. We don't have the means for a nanny or to travel all of the time. We do take a few trips a year. We are traveling next month and taking our son. We also just went to NYC last month for a weekend and left our son with his grandparents. We had a great time seeing a show/dining out, and just catching up as a couple.
There was an earlier post about how we in America leave our children more than other countries (something on the lines of that). I can't speak for everyone, but my husband is English and my step-father is from New Zealand. It is actually normal to travel and most families do quite a bit. Of course they have more vacation time than most of us... It is very easy to travel to different countries and we know lots of people who take getaways without their children (and these are normal parents who don't neglect their kids).
What Blackcat said in a previous post was spot on.
Not sure if anyone read the book Bringing Up Bebe'? But it is about an American woman bringing up her two children in Paris and the difference in child rearing between our cultures.
LaLa1923 06:10 AM 02-14-2013
We're going on a cruise together in September, and 2-3 weekend trips. WITHOUT any kids!!
I seriously cannot wait! , We are going on several with the kids. Our kids are 8, 7, 5, 5, and 3.
I seriously cannot wait! , We are going on several with the kids. Our kids are 8, 7, 5, 5, and 3.
MsCathy 06:34 AM 02-14-2013
I don't have a problem with parents taking vacation (although I've never been on a vacation without my kids and they are 20 16 and 12) I've also never been offered for someone to watch my kids so my husband and I COULD go away...but that's another forum. Lol
BUT i DO have a problem with parents taking vacations that don't coincide with mine and then complain that they can't take time off from work when I have vacation.....
BUT i DO have a problem with parents taking vacations that don't coincide with mine and then complain that they can't take time off from work when I have vacation.....