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  #1  
Old 01-27-2011, 11:37 AM
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marniewon marniewon is offline
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Default Need Feedback On Letter Please

Background: 3 weeks ago I started a 3mo dcb who is only here 3 afternoons a week. He sleeps solely in a swing at home. He will not sleep here unless I rock him, and even then, as soon as I put him down he screams. If I pick him back up he will go right back to sleep and wake again as soon as I lay him down again. I've done this cycle as many as 5 times in one day. He is fine until he gets tired, but when he's tired, he will spend the rest of the afternoon screaming. Sometimes that's 10 minutes after he gets here. After speaking to people here, the consensus was that he will never learn to sleep here since he is here so little time every week, without the parents committing to trying at home. So, after listening to him scream for the better part of the afternoon, for the 3rd day in a row, I drafted a letter to the parents. If anyone would read the letter and give me feedback, I would really appreciate it!!

Here it is:

As you know, I have been having a lot of issues getting R to sleep when he’s tired. I’ve spoken to you about how upset he gets and how much he cries when he’s here, when he gets tired. We’ve discussed how I cannot let him nap in a swing, and how rocking him will get him to sleep but as soon as I lay him down he will start crying again and will not stop until I pick him up and rock him to sleep. Then the cycle starts over again. I have other children in my care and cannot rock him for his entire nap. This is very disruptive to others who are trying to nap, and obviously very upsetting for R.

In order for me to continue to provide care for R, he needs to be able to sleep without the use of motion. With him being here for only a few short hours a week, he will not “learn” to put himself to sleep flat without motion here when he is not used to it at home. In order for him to learn this it will take the cooperation of both of you and myself working together. If this is something you are willing to work on, I am willing to help here also. Please take the weekend to talk things over and let me know on Monday what you have decided. If we are all working on it together, it shouldn’t take more than a few weeks for him to learn this. I’m willing to add a few more weeks to the trial period if this is something you would like to do. We can re-evaluate on Feb 10. If you decide that you are not comfortable with this, then please let this letter serve as your 2 week notice, and care will end on Thursday, February 10, 2011.
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Old 01-27-2011, 11:53 AM
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I would start off the letter with how much you enjoy R. Try not to start off with the sounds of complaints. Tell them how much you are working with their child and how much you want to help them, however, you cannot do it without their assistance.
Also expalin how you want fairness, meaning that you want to be able to give all children in care equal attention and at this time you are finding it difficult for __________reason.

Be brief about the issuse at hand.

I would write a short letter as an icebreaker and then talk to them in person about it.

I really understand your frustrations, but if i were to read your letter as a parent I would only see complaining....

Last edited by Michael; 01-27-2011 at 02:04 PM.
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Old 01-27-2011, 11:54 AM
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I think your letter sounds very professional and reasonable.
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lvt77 View Post
I would start off the letter with how much you enjoy R. Try no
t to start off with the sounds of complaints. Tell them how much you are working with their child and how much you want to help them, however, you cannot do it without their assistance.
Also expalin how you want fairness, meaning that you want to be able to give all children in care equal attention and at this time you are finding it difficult for __________reason.

be breif about the issuse at hand.

I would write a short letter as an icebreaker and then talk to them in person about it.

I really understand your frustrations, but if i were to read your letter as a parent I would only see complaining....
Thank you, I was wondering if I should put something in there about how much I enjoy dcb or not. I think I will. However, everything else in the letter we have discussed in person, some things several times. They know they are in a trial period still, where either one can walk away without repercussion. The only thing in this letter that is new is me terming care if he can't learn to sleep without motion assist. I've never put that to them, but they know all about all the issues that I've faced this far.
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:11 PM
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I think the letter sounds great! Just a thought though, if he is only there a few afternoons a week for a few hours, have you considered "wearing" him in a sling or snugli while he sleeps? It's a bit of a hassle and I wouldn't want to do it all day, but if you were to put baby in his snugli, then rock him until he sleeps, would you be able to get up and go about your day with him sleeping on your chest?

I had a baby like that, he only wanted to sleep when he was being held, he was part time so I just caved and held the little guy because that ended up being easier for me than hearing him cry.

good luck! hopefully the parents will appreciate how much you're willing to do for little "R"
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marniewon View Post
Thank you, I was wondering if I should put something in there about how much I enjoy dcb or not. I think I will. However, everything else in the letter we have discussed in person, some things several times. They know they are in a trial period still, where either one can walk away without repercussion. The only thing in this letter that is new is me terming care if he can't learn to sleep without motion assist. I've never put that to them, but they know all about all the issues that I've faced this far.
From a provider point of view I love the letter... If I were you I would add a few positive things, like you said that you enjoy caring for the little guy and so forth...
Some people read things the wrong way even though you don't mean to sound rude... I guess you could say that some people are just very sensitive about their kids....
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:17 PM
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Dear PARENT and PARENT,

CHILD has been doing very well over the last few weeks and is a joy to have in my care. As you know, we've reached the end of the "trial/adjustment period" and I want to write this letter to give you an update on CHILD.

I look forward to having CHILD continue to be in my care. I do have one issue that needs to be addressed and it's HIS/HER napping routine. As you know, CHILD only sleeps while in a swing and I am unable to allow CHILD to sleep in a swing because of licensing regulations. I am aware this is your routine at home and we have previously discussed this topic.

In order to make this transition easier on everyone, we (parents and provider) must work as a team and follow the same sleep routine. I am aware this may be difficult to do, but I will help you to the best of my abilities. I am willing to extend my trial/adjustment period until February 10th if you agree to work on this issue at home.

Please take the weekend to discuss this with each other and let me know your decision on Monday. We can also schedule a time to sit down and discuss the details. I look forward to working with you.

SIGNATURE
DATE


I wouldn't add that if they choose not to work with you that February 10th would be their last day because you should already have in your contract that you are able to terminate care at will without notice. If that is not in your contract then I would add it.

Last edited by Abigail; 01-27-2011 at 09:20 PM.
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail View Post
Dear PARENT and PARENT,

CHILD has been doing very well over the last few weeks and is a joy to have in my care. As you know, we've reached the end of the "trial/adjustment period" and I want to write this letter to give you an update on CHILD.

I look forward to having CHILD continue to be in my care. I do have one issue that needs to be addressed and it's HIS/HER napping routine. As you know, CHILD only sleeps while in a swing and I am unable to allow CHILD to sleep in a swing because of licensing regulations. I am aware this is your routine at home and we have previously discussed this topic.

In order to make this transition easier on everyone, we (parents and provider) must work as a team and follow the same sleep routine. I am aware this may be difficult to do, but I will help you to the best of my abilities. I am willing to extend my trial/adjustment period until February 10th if you agree to work on this issue at home.

Please take the weekend to discuss this with each other and let me know your decision on Monday. We can also schedule a time to sit down and discuss the details. I look forward to working with you.

SIGNATURE
DATE


I wouldn't add that if they choose not to work with you that February 10th would be their last day because you should already have in your contract that you are able to terminate care at will without notice. If that is not in your contract then I would add it.
I think this is perfect!!! Very well written.

Last edited by Abigail; 01-27-2011 at 09:20 PM.
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  #9  
Old 01-27-2011, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by littlemonkeys View Post
I think this is perfect!!! Very well written.
ditto I like this letter Great job!!
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:36 PM
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Abigail's version for the win. Please don't take this as negative criticism, marniewon, but as a parent, I would take your version as "do this or hit the hwy". Best of luck with your situation. I had a baby like this early on. I had to let him fall asleep with me sitting on the couch and holding him, then I would ever so gently try to lay him on the couch. I didn't dare walk him to a crib. If I was lucky, he's stay asleep. Fortunately, they moved away within a few months.
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cillybean83 View Post
I think the letter sounds great! Just a thought though, if he is only there a few afternoons a week for a few hours, have you considered "wearing" him in a sling or snugli while he sleeps? It's a bit of a hassle and I wouldn't want to do it all day, but if you were to put baby in his snugli, then rock him until he sleeps, would you be able to get up and go about your day with him sleeping on your chest?

I had a baby like that, he only wanted to sleep when he was being held, he was part time so I just caved and held the little guy because that ended up being easier for me than hearing him cry.

good luck! hopefully the parents will appreciate how much you're willing to do for little "R"
Ha - no way i could "wear" this baby - he is a CHUNK!! Not sure what he weighs but if it's under 25lbs I'd be very surprised!
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by marniewon View Post
Ha - no way i could "wear" this baby - he is a CHUNK!! Not sure what he weighs but if it's under 25lbs I'd be very surprised!
lmao holy "COW" 25lbs................thats almost the sameweight as my work out weight vest......
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Joyce View Post
Abigail's version for the win. Please don't take this as negative criticism, marniewon, but as a parent, I would take your version as "do this or hit the hwy". Best of luck with your situation. I had a baby like this early on. I had to let him fall asleep with me sitting on the couch and holding him, then I would ever so gently try to lay him on the couch. I didn't dare walk him to a crib. If I was lucky, he's stay asleep. Fortunately, they moved away within a few months.
No worries Joyce - if I didn't want feedback I wouldn't have posted it . The whole "my way or the highway" is actually the way I was feeling when I wrote it, as I had just finished with round 1 of the cycle of rock, put him down, listen to him scream, and had been listening to him scream for 20 minutes at that point. That's why I posted it so other dcp's could help me with wording and let me know if I was being too harsh, etc. So, thank you for your feedback!
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:44 PM
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lmao holy "COW" 25lbs................thats almost the sameweight as my work out weight vest......
Yeah, he's become my personal work out program! LOL Actually, after carrying him around for a little while, I can actually feel my muscles aching!!
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail View Post
Dear PARENT and PARENT,

CHILD has been doing very well over the last few weeks and is a joy to have in my care. As you know, we've reached the end of the "trial/adjustment period" and I want to write this letter to give you an update on CHILD.

I look forward to having CHILD continue to be in my care. I do have one issue that needs to be addressed and it's HIS/HER napping routine. As you know, CHILD only sleeps while in a swing and I am unable to allow CHILD to sleep in a swing because of licensing regulations. I am aware this is your routine at home and we have previously discussed this topic.

In order to make this transition easier on everyone, we (parents and provider) must work as a team and follow the same sleep routine. I am aware this may be difficult to do, but I will help you to the best of my abilities. I am willing to extend my trial/adjustment period until February 10th if you agree to work on this issue at home.

Please take the weekend to discuss this with each other and let me know your decision on Monday. We can also schedule a time to sit down and discuss the details. I look forward to working with you.

SIGNATURE
DATE


I wouldn't add that if they choose not to work with you that February 10th would be their last day because you should already have in your contract that you are able to terminate care at will without notice. If that is not in your contract then I would add it.
Perfect! I like this.

Last edited by Abigail; 01-27-2011 at 09:21 PM.
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:50 PM
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Yeah, he's become my personal work out program! LOL Actually, after carrying him around for a little while, I can actually feel my muscles aching!!
lol...everything about this child is making you ache...lol I hope that you get it all taken care of...

Best of luck....
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Old 01-27-2011, 12:52 PM
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omg, 25 pounds?!?! my 13 month old is 23 pounds and he's a lil porker! lol
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Old 01-27-2011, 01:12 PM
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Thank you everyone for all the compliments. I really appreciate it. The more and more I read it I like it even more! Thanks
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Old 01-27-2011, 01:43 PM
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Thank you everyone for all the compliments. I really appreciate it. The more and more I read it I like it even more! Thanks
I went with your letter. Thanks for posting it. I'm glad I did now, as mom said they are trying to get him used to the crib at home now. So your letter was way less harsh than mine was.
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Old 01-27-2011, 02:13 PM
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I am looking forward to reading an update on this after the weekend and then after the next week or two. If they get this under control I be he will turn out to be one of your best daycare kids.

Here's to positive thinking!
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Old 01-27-2011, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by marniewon View Post
No worries Joyce - if I didn't want feedback I wouldn't have posted it . The whole "my way or the highway" is actually the way I was feeling when I wrote it, as I had just finished with round 1 of the cycle of rock, put him down, listen to him scream, and had been listening to him scream for 20 minutes at that point. That's why I posted it so other dcp's could help me with wording and let me know if I was being too harsh, etc. So, thank you for your feedback!
Oh, I feel for you! Believe me. When I had the baby who wouldn't fall asleep, I was going out of my ever-lovin' mind.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:22 PM
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Opps, I had one word spelled wrong, but I corrected it now. I spelled discuss with an extra letter so hope you caught that!
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:56 PM
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i just saw this post. good job, abigail! your letter was perfect.

it's hard to get your point across without sounding accusing/emotional when you write something yourself. i should know - i just told my child's teacher she's a "behaviorist." that's a huge insult to early childhood teachers.

(but it's true)

Last edited by QualiTcare; 01-27-2011 at 10:09 PM.
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  #24  
Old 01-27-2011, 10:03 PM
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It's much easier to put things on paper when you're not caught up in the moment and it's easier for me to see it from "outside the box" too. I learned how to make things sound "great" while taking a class in college that required us to write letters to a person who applied for a job but didn't get it. LOL, I really got tired of all those stupid rejection letters to fake people but it obviously helped me in another way!

First paragraph is a sweet smiling few sentences. The next paragraph is the serious sad information. Finally the last paragraph brings back in the positive information to sum it all up. (That is why you always want to skip the first/last part because it's all fluff!)
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