Employee Behavior

[springv]

What would you do if you heard an employee tell a child to suck it up because the child was upset over something?

[sahm1225]

It really depends... What exactly was said? How old is the child? What was the situation?

[springv]

Child was upset because grandmother came and could get her because the child mother was coming get her 3yr old

[Michael]

I really don’t think it’s a big deal unless this person is constantly being tough on all the kids all the time.

[PB&J]

This was IN FRONT OF the grandmother? Actually that doesn’t even matter. Personally I think “suck it up” is inelegant at the best and repulsive at the worst. Why be ugly? I would tell the employee to watch her phrases, promote civility, and try “shake it off” and a smile and a wiggle of shaking. Or, a “oh it’s so nice to spend time with grandma” or some such to promote the positive. I use the “you’re ok, shake it off like this!” to show children that every little bump or disappointment isn’t world-ending.

[springv]

@pb&j: this was after she had left but before mom came

[springv]

This isnt the first time I've heard things like this said with this employee and this was also the same employee that left me in the infant room while she ran to get lunch and one of the infants tried to roll over in a swing and almost fell out and I had to throw my lunch down before the infant fell. The infant was a child of an employee and also the other infant is a child of an another employee as well and wasn't even buckled into a swing correctly and as since this incident happened, the one employee doesn't bring their infant regularly

[CeriBear]

I think a teacher telling a child to “suck it up” is wrong. There are better words that can be used in such a situation.
How about “Oh I know you wish mommy could come but isn’t it cool you’re going to get to spend time with grandma? I used to love going to grandmas house when I was your age.”

[Blackcat31]

It probably wasn't the best phrase to use but honestly I don't think it was so horrible that it's tattle worthy.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

It probably wasn't the best phrase to use but honestly I don't think it was so horrible that it's tattle worthy.

Me, either.

"Suck it up, Buttercup, I got you" was a fun song and lesson plan.

Life isn't fair.

It should be part of every curriculum or we risk raising a bunch of victims.

I think it would be more about tone, inflection and intent.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by springvalley112

This isnt the first time I've heard things like this said with this employee and this was also the same employee that left me in the infant room while she ran to get lunch and one of the infants tried to roll over in a swing and almost fell out and I had to throw my lunch down before the infant fell. The infant was a child of an employee and also the other infant is a child of an another employee as well and wasn't even buckled into a swing correctly and as since this incident happened, the one employee doesn't bring their infant regularly

I don't want to hurt your feelings but you would have been at fault for that. Once you took responsibility for the room, it was your responsibility to do a complete walk through and check for any unsafe conditions.

I understand working in a center full or other providers is stressful at best, miserable a lot of the time. I really do. But, you will have to change your mindset if you want to enjoy your job.

[springv]

I'm not upset at all and get what you are saying. I told the administrator what I had observed that day and they talked and she felt badabout what happened. But I felt like it put me in a really bad position

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by springvalley112

I'm not upset at all and get what you are saying. I told the administrator what I had observed that day and they talked and she felt badabout what happened. But I felt like it put me in a really bad position

It did. And it will probably happen again. It really feels like a game of battleship some days. You set up the day to perfection and their goal is to sink it.

Know that at some point you may also find a co-worker who you just click with and work together seamlessly.

[PB&J]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Me, either.

"Suck it up, Buttercup, I got you" was a fun song and lesson plan.

Life isn't fair.

It should be part of every curriculum or we risk raising a bunch of victims.

I think it would be more about tone, inflection and intent.

100% understand. Kids (people) need to learn to suck it up, roll with it, see the big picture, move on... being a “Delicate Doily” (thank you Frasier) just makes a person a PITA and reduces overall life quality and competence...buuuuuuuttttttt I’m still going to hold out for more elegant language

[Former Teacher]

I remember at my old center, we were having a state visit. The inspector walked past the toddler room and the employee was telling a little girl (who was her daughter and was having a bad day) to "take a chill pill". Licensing wrote her up because "there are better ways to rephrase things"

[springv]

That's what I'm always afraid will happen to us when state comes in and if a parent comes in, I don't think they would appreciate hearing that said to their child.

[CeriBear]

Originally Posted by springvalley112

That's what I'm always afraid will happen to us when state comes in and if a parent comes in, I don't think they would appreciate hearing that said to their child.

Agreed. There are several things I’ve heard other teachers say to their children that make me cringe. Maybe I’m just being a nit pick but I don’t think licensing or a parent would approve of a teacher telling their class to “shush up” or a child who is crying to “turn it off.” Yes, children need to be taught that they can’t always get their own way and that life may not always be fair but there are better phrases that can be used.

[springv]

People may think I'm old fashioned and I'm paranoid but I don't want the place to go to heck

[Ariana]

Originally Posted by springvalley112

People may think I'm old fashioned and I'm paranoid but I don't want the place to go to heck

I agree with you and agree that what she said is inappropriate. Saying it to your own kids is one thing but saying it to a child who is not your own is another in my opinion. Even just a simple “I understand you are frustrated but sometimes life is frustrating”. It is virtually saying the same thing but in a more compassionate and professional way.