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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Very Rude When Picking Up Kids...
DanceMom 05:01 PM 10-15-2010
Have you ever had a mom ( or dad ) when picking up...not look at you, not ask about their childs day and just leaves ?
Happened with a mom today..I get if your having a bad day but dont be rude..you can at least say goodbye, thank you, have a good fricken weekend, something ! My God if I could terminate people because of their rudeness I would ! Well I could, but you know..
Happened with a mom today..I get if your having a bad day but dont be rude..you can at least say goodbye, thank you, have a good fricken weekend, something ! My God if I could terminate people because of their rudeness I would ! Well I could, but you know..
MommyMuffin 05:54 PM 10-15-2010
My BIGGEST pet peeve is RUDE people. Nothing gets my blood boiling more, so I can understand. I would smile and say have a great weekend(through clenched teeth)...shut the door and smile to yourself and think... I am a great buisness woman and a really good actress!!
momma2girls 06:11 PM 10-15-2010
I have done this to parents that act rude- or ask stupid question after question-say very loudly have a good night, and slam the door, and say something under my breath when they leave!!
ninosqueridos 07:09 PM 10-15-2010
Originally Posted by MommyMuffin:
I would smile and say have a great weekend(through clenched teeth)...shut the door and smile to yourself and think... I am a great buisness woman and a really good actress!!
This is what I did to a certain dcm. And then termed eventually for that & other issues. I would smile and say have a great weekend(through clenched teeth)...shut the door and smile to yourself and think... I am a great buisness woman and a really good actress!!
MarinaVanessa 07:01 AM 10-16-2010
Yup rude but kill 'em with kindness. Don't you just love it that parents can have bad days and completely give you the cold shoulder on their off days but the one day that you are tired, or just not feeling yourself and your smile isn't a great big bundle of sunshine they immediately want to play 20 questions to figure out what is wrong .
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Jewels 07:20 AM 10-16-2010
when I had my son in daycare there was a couple days where I was so annoyed at the provider that I could barely say hi, because I was so mad, so I picked my son up once and barely said a word or looked at her, just grabbed my son and left.
DanceMom 07:38 AM 10-16-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
when I had my son in daycare there was a couple days where I was so annoyed at the provider that I could barely say hi, because I was so mad, so I picked my son up once and barely said a word or looked at her, just grabbed my son and left.
So are you saying she was probably annoyed with me ? when I had my son in daycare there was a couple days where I was so annoyed at the provider that I could barely say hi, because I was so mad, so I picked my son up once and barely said a word or looked at her, just grabbed my son and left.
Screw her..if she is then take your child somewhere else. I have ZERO time for people that treat me like crap no matter how bad of a day you are having. I take care of your child for 11 hours everyday...I think a "Have a nice weekend" isnt so hard to do. Suck it up - I sure wouldnt treat the person caring for MY child like crap. ( Unless of course I hated her then my kid wouldnt be there to begin with ) But I know this isnt the case with me as she usually is very bubbly, gives me thank you cards and says how blessed her family is to have me caring for her daughters ) Everyone is allowed a bad day of course, but it gives you no right to be a jerk to another person - it just doesnt. You can Fake a smile if you have to.
momofboys 12:13 PM 10-16-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
when I had my son in daycare there was a couple days where I was so annoyed at the provider that I could barely say hi, because I was so mad, so I picked my son up once and barely said a word or looked at her, just grabbed my son and left.
I can understand that but if you are annoyed about something how does it help the situation to not voice your concerns to the provider? The provider can do nothing about changing things if she knows nothing of the problem. Just saying. . . .when I had my son in daycare there was a couple days where I was so annoyed at the provider that I could barely say hi, because I was so mad, so I picked my son up once and barely said a word or looked at her, just grabbed my son and left.
QualiTcare 02:01 PM 10-16-2010
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
So are you saying she was probably annoyed with me ? Screw her..if she is then take your child somewhere else. I have ZERO time for people that treat me like crap no matter how bad of a day you are having. I take care of your child for 11 hours everyday...I think a "Have a nice weekend" isnt so hard to do. Suck it up - I sure wouldnt treat the person caring for MY child like crap. ( Unless of course I hated her then my kid wouldnt be there to begin with ) But I know this isnt the case with me as she usually is very bubbly, gives me thank you cards and says how blessed her family is to have me caring for her daughters )
Everyone is allowed a bad day of course, but it gives you no right to be a jerk to another person - it just doesnt. You can Fake a smile if you have to.
well, if she NORMALLY is nice - which you say she is - i'd really try to shrug it off. if she was having "just a bad day" then yeah, maybe she could've faked a smile, but you have NO IDEA what may be going on. keep in mind, we're talking about someone who is normally friendly and tells you how thankful she is. she could've just seen her husband in the car with another woman or found out her mother has cancer for all you know. maybe she was sick. if she does the same thing on monday, maybe you should ask her if she's okay. if she has a problem with you - that'll be her opportunity to say so.So are you saying she was probably annoyed with me ?
Screw her..if she is then take your child somewhere else. I have ZERO time for people that treat me like crap no matter how bad of a day you are having. I take care of your child for 11 hours everyday...I think a "Have a nice weekend" isnt so hard to do. Suck it up - I sure wouldnt treat the person caring for MY child like crap. ( Unless of course I hated her then my kid wouldnt be there to begin with ) But I know this isnt the case with me as she usually is very bubbly, gives me thank you cards and says how blessed her family is to have me caring for her daughters ) Everyone is allowed a bad day of course, but it gives you no right to be a jerk to another person - it just doesnt. You can Fake a smile if you have to.
DanceMom 03:21 PM 10-16-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
well, if she NORMALLY is nice - which you say she is - i'd really try to shrug it off. if she was having "just a bad day" then yeah, maybe she could've faked a smile, but you have NO IDEA what may be going on. keep in mind, we're talking about someone who is normally friendly and tells you how thankful she is. she could've just seen her husband in the car with another woman or found out her mother has cancer for all you know. maybe she was sick. if she does the same thing on monday, maybe you should ask her if she's okay. if she has a problem with you - that'll be her opportunity to say so.
The kind of person that I am - I will give a smile and have a nice day...no matter WHAT is going on. I expect too much of people and that is apparantly a huge problem of my own. She is normally nice but there has been times shes been short, which is fine..but this time it was nada. She looked pissed..and if I would have had the chance to ask her what was up..I would have however she was so quick out the door and I wasnt about to run after her.well, if she NORMALLY is nice - which you say she is - i'd really try to shrug it off. if she was having "just a bad day" then yeah, maybe she could've faked a smile, but you have NO IDEA what may be going on. keep in mind, we're talking about someone who is normally friendly and tells you how thankful she is. she could've just seen her husband in the car with another woman or found out her mother has cancer for all you know. maybe she was sick. if she does the same thing on monday, maybe you should ask her if she's okay. if she has a problem with you - that'll be her opportunity to say so.
Unregistered 06:54 PM 10-16-2010
I'll second Qualitcare's advice. If someone who was usually cheerful and bubbly with me, called her family blessed because I cared for her child, suddenly came in and completely ignored me when picking up her child, I wouldn't be thinking she was a jerk and getting all worked up over it. Her actions in the past would earn her the benefit of the doubt. I'd be thinking that either she was sick or that something was wrong. I might even say a prayer for her. BUT, if she did this all the time, that's something else. I'd be angry too. But if just once or twice, I'd be more concerned than angry. If you are never that way, be thankful - that's a wonderful trait to have.
QualiTcare 07:24 PM 10-16-2010
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
The kind of person that I am - I will give a smile and have a nice day...no matter WHAT is going on. I expect too much of people and that is apparantly a huge problem of my own. She is normally nice but there has been times shes been short, which is fine..but this time it was nada. She looked pissed..and if I would have had the chance to ask her what was up..I would have however she was so quick out the door and I wasnt about to run after her.
dancemom, that's easy to say you'd be smiling no matter WHAT was happening - but if it's something extreme (like the examples i mentioned) you don't know how you would act - and probably wouldn't even be tuned in enough to realize you weren't being nice. really, you can't say you'd give a smile and have a nice day if you just found out devastating news like someone was in the hospital or dying or just found out your husband was cheating. if you can say for sure that you'd be perky under those circumstances - you should call stan lee cus you are def. superhuman.The kind of person that I am - I will give a smile and have a nice day...no matter WHAT is going on. I expect too much of people and that is apparantly a huge problem of my own. She is normally nice but there has been times shes been short, which is fine..but this time it was nada. She looked pissed..and if I would have had the chance to ask her what was up..I would have however she was so quick out the door and I wasnt about to run after her.
DanceMom 05:32 AM 10-17-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
dancemom, that's easy to say you'd be smiling no matter WHAT was happening - but if it's something extreme (like the examples i mentioned) you don't know how you would act - and probably wouldn't even be tuned in enough to realize you weren't being nice. really, you can't say you'd give a smile and have a nice day if you just found out devastating news like someone was in the hospital or dying or just found out your husband was cheating. if you can say for sure that you'd be perky under those circumstances - you should call stan lee cus you are def. superhuman.
I guess I am superhuman then - my father attempted suicide and when I found out 1 hour before pick ups - I still managed a smile and have a good night.dancemom, that's easy to say you'd be smiling no matter WHAT was happening - but if it's something extreme (like the examples i mentioned) you don't know how you would act - and probably wouldn't even be tuned in enough to realize you weren't being nice. really, you can't say you'd give a smile and have a nice day if you just found out devastating news like someone was in the hospital or dying or just found out your husband was cheating. if you can say for sure that you'd be perky under those circumstances - you should call stan lee cus you are def. superhuman.
Really..it isnt THAT difficult to muster up in any situation.
To the Ungregistered guest : I am not getting all worked up over it. It was a vent..which I see many on this board doing - forgive me for venting when someone is an ass to me.
Thank you also, because it is a trait I do have and unfortunately expect others to have. Its treating people with respect no matter your situation. I have nothing to do with why this mom is angry ( at least I dont think so ) so to treat me like that..disrepectful, its uncalled for.
That is MY OPINION..which obviously everyone is allowed their opinion as I respect yours and Quailmoms and am not about to bash either one of you and tell you you need to call blah blah because your not superhuman.
Unregistered 05:44 AM 10-17-2010
I'm sorry Dancemom if I came off as criticizing your remarks. That was not my intent and you certainly have the right to vent.
MommyMuffin 05:57 AM 10-17-2010
Regaurdless of the circumstances...at the end of the day it is still respectful when parting with someone to give some kind of acknowledgment.
Lucy 11:42 AM 10-17-2010
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
I guess I am superhuman then - my father attempted suicide and when I found out 1 hour before pick ups - I still managed a smile and have a good night.
Really..it isnt THAT difficult to muster up in any situation.
I agree. I can fake a smile and a cheery sounding greeting no matter what. Some people are just cut out like that where we don't want others to know our feelings, so we fake it. I remember seeing Marie Osmond on Larry King and he was asking her if she was so depressed (post-partum depression) then why was she able to go on tv and act all bubbly. She said "it's what we do" - meaning she's an actress and knows when to turn it on and be as fake as humanly possible. Some of us can do that. It's like we don't want to burden someone else with our bad mood, so we fake a good one. I've done it often.I guess I am superhuman then - my father attempted suicide and when I found out 1 hour before pick ups - I still managed a smile and have a good night.
Really..it isnt THAT difficult to muster up in any situation.
ETA: Also, I have a mom who (twice) has taken a minute in the car to wipe her eyes and check herself in the mirror, then come in and I can tell she had been crying, but she still turns on the charm while in my house. Smiling, asking how her daughter's day was, wishing me a good evening, etc. I have no idea what she was so devastated over, and it's none of my business. But it CAN be done, and she's proof.
tenderhearts 12:23 PM 10-17-2010
I am just like Dancemom, I always have a smile and am pleasant no matter how I am feeling, just how I am.
My4SunshineGirlsNY 12:35 PM 10-17-2010
Yes, I had a mom that was always quiet, not a single word to me and just left. It made me uncomfortable because looking at her facebook, she's quick to swear or say negative things (not to anyone, just about her day).
To me, it felt very rude and made me wonder if she even appreciated what I do all day long for her child. Or if she cared that he didn't listen and disrespected my home many days. I did term her mosty because I felt uncomfortable with this, the rest of the reason was I felt overbooked and overwhelmed as it was summer.
When someone shows up like that and you don't know if they had a bad day or what the reason is, it makes you feel like "gee, did I do something wrong?"...you wonder if they are mad at you for some reason. I get like that now, wondering if they are mad because their child picked up a bad habbit from one of my own kids. So then I'm left feeling stressed wondering if they are mad at me and want to leave and if I will be out income.
So ya, I know exactly what you are saying here. It is not a comfortable feeling, bad day or not, at least let me know if it's me, or something in my daycare so I'm not left feeling stressed over it.
To me, it felt very rude and made me wonder if she even appreciated what I do all day long for her child. Or if she cared that he didn't listen and disrespected my home many days. I did term her mosty because I felt uncomfortable with this, the rest of the reason was I felt overbooked and overwhelmed as it was summer.
When someone shows up like that and you don't know if they had a bad day or what the reason is, it makes you feel like "gee, did I do something wrong?"...you wonder if they are mad at you for some reason. I get like that now, wondering if they are mad because their child picked up a bad habbit from one of my own kids. So then I'm left feeling stressed wondering if they are mad at me and want to leave and if I will be out income.
So ya, I know exactly what you are saying here. It is not a comfortable feeling, bad day or not, at least let me know if it's me, or something in my daycare so I'm not left feeling stressed over it.
QualiTcare 03:19 PM 10-17-2010
i dunno, i agree with the unregistered poster too. i'd be more worried about a parent who normally told me thank you, etc. than mad because i didn't like the parting words - or lack of.
we're talking about a nice, grateful parent who expresses her appreciation who didn't say goodbye ONCE - right?
it seems odd.
we're talking about a nice, grateful parent who expresses her appreciation who didn't say goodbye ONCE - right?
it seems odd.
Jewels 04:02 PM 10-17-2010
Originally Posted by janarae:
I can understand that but if you are annoyed about something how does it help the situation to not voice your concerns to the provider? The provider can do nothing about changing things if she knows nothing of the problem. Just saying. . . .
But see that was the problem with the provider I had, whenever I did voice something she would get super defensive and annoyed at me, so sometimes it would get hard to speak up, But this is all why I dont have my kid in daycare anymore.I can understand that but if you are annoyed about something how does it help the situation to not voice your concerns to the provider? The provider can do nothing about changing things if she knows nothing of the problem. Just saying. . . .
Jewels 04:03 PM 10-17-2010
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
So are you saying she was probably annoyed with me ? Screw her..if she is then take your child somewhere else. I have ZERO time for people that treat me like crap no matter how bad of a day you are having. I take care of your child for 11 hours everyday...I think a "Have a nice weekend" isnt so hard to do. Suck it up - I sure wouldnt treat the person caring for MY child like crap. ( Unless of course I hated her then my kid wouldnt be there to begin with ) But I know this isnt the case with me as she usually is very bubbly, gives me thank you cards and says how blessed her family is to have me caring for her daughters )
Everyone is allowed a bad day of course, but it gives you no right to be a jerk to another person - it just doesnt. You can Fake a smile if you have to.
And no I wasnt saying they were annoyed with you, I was just saying that I once did that.So are you saying she was probably annoyed with me ?
Screw her..if she is then take your child somewhere else. I have ZERO time for people that treat me like crap no matter how bad of a day you are having. I take care of your child for 11 hours everyday...I think a "Have a nice weekend" isnt so hard to do. Suck it up - I sure wouldnt treat the person caring for MY child like crap. ( Unless of course I hated her then my kid wouldnt be there to begin with ) But I know this isnt the case with me as she usually is very bubbly, gives me thank you cards and says how blessed her family is to have me caring for her daughters ) Everyone is allowed a bad day of course, but it gives you no right to be a jerk to another person - it just doesnt. You can Fake a smile if you have to.
DanceMom 07:24 AM 10-18-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i dunno, i agree with the unregistered poster too. i'd be more worried about a parent who normally told me thank you, etc. than mad because i didn't like the parting words - or lack of.
we're talking about a nice, grateful parent who expresses her appreciation who didn't say goodbye ONCE - right?
it seems odd.
Yes, the no goodbye, no smile, no thank you, no have a great weekend..was once. She has come in before looking like she has had a bad day but I at least get a bye. or a thank you. To come into my home, where I give care to your child for 11 hours a day - and not say a WORD to me, and not even look at me...was off ... for her. I think that is why I vented. Because I was like WTH ? i dunno, i agree with the unregistered poster too. i'd be more worried about a parent who normally told me thank you, etc. than mad because i didn't like the parting words - or lack of.
we're talking about a nice, grateful parent who expresses her appreciation who didn't say goodbye ONCE - right?
it seems odd.
She dropped off today...and was normal. I of course, chalk it up to her having a bad day..and I was/am over it. I just thought it was rude but I am the type of person that says hi to everyone, thank you/have a nice day to the grocery store clerk etc. I never give anyone the cold shoulder esp if *I* am the one having a bad day..the people that I come in contact with that day doesnt deserve my wrath.