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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Akward Drop Off/Pic Up Time...
momma4many 01:47 PM 06-17-2011
Just wondering if any of you feel akward at times when parents drop off/pick up?
I have parents who want a play by play of their child's day, which I don't always have time for, but try to remember details and make the time (maybe I should be better about this, but with kids running around, I can be a bit preoccupied and at the end of the week, sometimes it just feels like all the days run together). I offered to provide them with a "what happened today" sheet, so I could write things down as I had time or they happened, but they insisted I not do that, but I did anyway, and they further insisted I not do that
So I stopped wasting my time there.
Lately, I feel pretty akward and find myself dreading drop off/pick up with these parents b/c I just don't know what to say.
One set of parents will stay at drop off until their child starts crying. When I try to make it short but sweet, they say things like, "I guess now that your here with her (me), you're fine, you don't need me?" That made me a bit uncomfortable for some reason.
I don't tell parents about a child's firsts, so unless they have told me the child has done something at home, I don't share that info, and we have a VERY set routine, so most days are the same. I find myself saying "He had a great day today!" then they ask "Anything new or concerning?" (totally valid, not arguing that) I say, "Nope, he was great, had lots of fun. We played _____ game, read ____books, etc. Basically stating our same, every day routine....every day. (Different games and books, but same things at same times every day). They just kind of stand there and wait for me to say more, or they go on and tell me every single little thing he is doing at home and ask if he has done that here. When I say "Oh yes, he did show us that today" (new word, etc.), it seems to make them sad that he does that here too
The look on their face is just devistation. I feel bad and akward, so I say even less.
I understand that it is hard to leave your child all day and possibly miss out on what they are doing. I am sympathetic to that. However it seems like my other kids just start winding up when they see me talking to someone for an extended amount of time. I don't want to rush them off and look like a jerk, but not sure what the norm is here.
Maybe I'm just new at this and so that's where the akwardness comes in, but I thought maybe you all could give me a baseline for the typical exchange at drop off/pick up?
I have parents who want a play by play of their child's day, which I don't always have time for, but try to remember details and make the time (maybe I should be better about this, but with kids running around, I can be a bit preoccupied and at the end of the week, sometimes it just feels like all the days run together). I offered to provide them with a "what happened today" sheet, so I could write things down as I had time or they happened, but they insisted I not do that, but I did anyway, and they further insisted I not do that
So I stopped wasting my time there.Lately, I feel pretty akward and find myself dreading drop off/pick up with these parents b/c I just don't know what to say.
One set of parents will stay at drop off until their child starts crying. When I try to make it short but sweet, they say things like, "I guess now that your here with her (me), you're fine, you don't need me?" That made me a bit uncomfortable for some reason.
I don't tell parents about a child's firsts, so unless they have told me the child has done something at home, I don't share that info, and we have a VERY set routine, so most days are the same. I find myself saying "He had a great day today!" then they ask "Anything new or concerning?" (totally valid, not arguing that) I say, "Nope, he was great, had lots of fun. We played _____ game, read ____books, etc. Basically stating our same, every day routine....every day. (Different games and books, but same things at same times every day). They just kind of stand there and wait for me to say more, or they go on and tell me every single little thing he is doing at home and ask if he has done that here. When I say "Oh yes, he did show us that today" (new word, etc.), it seems to make them sad that he does that here too
The look on their face is just devistation. I feel bad and akward, so I say even less.I understand that it is hard to leave your child all day and possibly miss out on what they are doing. I am sympathetic to that. However it seems like my other kids just start winding up when they see me talking to someone for an extended amount of time. I don't want to rush them off and look like a jerk, but not sure what the norm is here.
Maybe I'm just new at this and so that's where the akwardness comes in, but I thought maybe you all could give me a baseline for the typical exchange at drop off/pick up?
daycare 02:37 PM 06-17-2011
I would take control of the situation
Hi mom Johnny had a great day today, he's got his shoes on ready to go, we will see you guys tomorrow and walk away to care for the other children.
If they start to ask questions then say I would love to answer any questions for you, please feel free to call me at ----- or email me. I have other children to still care for and need my attention
Thanks so much for understanding I'll see you guys tomorrow.
Walk away. They will get used to it.
I also ask that If they need to talk to me that they schedule an appt.
Parents expect me to watch their kids from open to close, so I don't have time for 10-15 min conversations with each parent. However I tell them this up front.
Also, if there is an issue I need to talk about. I require they make an appt with me. If a child gets into trouble. I just say. Johnny did not hVe a great day today, several things we need to work on, however tomorrow is a new day and we an try for a better day tomorrow. Walk away. Bye bye
Hi mom Johnny had a great day today, he's got his shoes on ready to go, we will see you guys tomorrow and walk away to care for the other children.
If they start to ask questions then say I would love to answer any questions for you, please feel free to call me at ----- or email me. I have other children to still care for and need my attention
Thanks so much for understanding I'll see you guys tomorrow.
Walk away. They will get used to it.
I also ask that If they need to talk to me that they schedule an appt.
Parents expect me to watch their kids from open to close, so I don't have time for 10-15 min conversations with each parent. However I tell them this up front.
Also, if there is an issue I need to talk about. I require they make an appt with me. If a child gets into trouble. I just say. Johnny did not hVe a great day today, several things we need to work on, however tomorrow is a new day and we an try for a better day tomorrow. Walk away. Bye bye
Hunni Bee 12:43 PM 06-18-2011
That sounds like manipulation and a need to be catered to. None of us can remember everything every child did everyday. It's just not possible. That's why they invented those "What I Did Today" sheets. '
These parents, however, want your undivided attention and they want to think their child alone gets your undivided attention all day as well. That's why they don't want a sheet, because you can hand it to them and say "Have a great day, see ya tomorrow".
I would tell them, "Ms. King, if you want to discuss little Danny's progress and development, we can make a time to do that. Pick-ups and drop-offs are usually a pretty hectic time. And if you want to know what/who he played with today, what books he read, etc., I can create a sheet for you." Other than that, let her know that you have to attend to the remaining children at pick-up time.
These parents, however, want your undivided attention and they want to think their child alone gets your undivided attention all day as well. That's why they don't want a sheet, because you can hand it to them and say "Have a great day, see ya tomorrow".
I would tell them, "Ms. King, if you want to discuss little Danny's progress and development, we can make a time to do that. Pick-ups and drop-offs are usually a pretty hectic time. And if you want to know what/who he played with today, what books he read, etc., I can create a sheet for you." Other than that, let her know that you have to attend to the remaining children at pick-up time.
Auntie 03:31 PM 06-18-2011
I agree with the other posters on making it short and sweet. 
cheerfuldom 10:51 AM 06-19-2011
I have had a few parents stand around and want minute by minute detail on what their kid did that day. I always have one thing to say specifically (something different every day) and besides that, have the kid ready to go and go about my business meanwhile shooing them out the door. I keep repeating something like he did great today, see tomorrow. Don't answer every question and most of them get the hint.
momma4many 05:33 AM 06-20-2011
Thanks for the input ladies! I was thinking this was just not going to work every day, so glad to hear you all don't give a minute by minute update either. I sure am learning a lot as I go! Some things, like this one, you just don't think about till it happens. That's when I'm so glad I can come here and ask advice or see what everyone else does!
boysx5 05:40 AM 06-20-2011
I agree short and sweet in the warmer months we are always outside waiting makes pick ups that much faster
jojosmommy 10:35 AM 06-20-2011
Interesting. All my clients stay and talk for a few minutes with the exception of once and a while. One lives a few houses away and he always shoots the breeze, talks about the happenings in the neighborhood. Two are good friends (both kids attend only pt or when they need alternate care) and we chat. One is always updating me on one or the other kids special needs and her regular updates with childcare assistance (cca is a pain) but we chat plesantly.
Each kid gets ready while the parents are at the bottom of the stairs helping them and we chat back and forth. Only with one child has it ever become an issue and that is more that child needing discipline from mom/dad than from it being ackward between us. When he acts up we don't chat. Other days he is great.
One family even switched to me b/c they hated the quick in and out they were getting from their old daycare provider. They said they didn't like feeling rushed and unwelcome in her home.
My son has periodically given me issues on it- acting up during pick up to get attention but for the most part he enjoys "chatting" too.
I should ad that it sounds like your parents are more mainpulating you and the convo. I would control the convo and the environment until they understand that they can't do that with you. Also, if their child has issues (starts crying) b/c they are hanging around then I wouldn't chat at all. I would tell them that it needs to be short and sweet for the sake of THEIR child and that if things progress where he/she isn't crying then you would welcome longer chats (if you so desire).
Each kid gets ready while the parents are at the bottom of the stairs helping them and we chat back and forth. Only with one child has it ever become an issue and that is more that child needing discipline from mom/dad than from it being ackward between us. When he acts up we don't chat. Other days he is great.
One family even switched to me b/c they hated the quick in and out they were getting from their old daycare provider. They said they didn't like feeling rushed and unwelcome in her home.
My son has periodically given me issues on it- acting up during pick up to get attention but for the most part he enjoys "chatting" too.
I should ad that it sounds like your parents are more mainpulating you and the convo. I would control the convo and the environment until they understand that they can't do that with you. Also, if their child has issues (starts crying) b/c they are hanging around then I wouldn't chat at all. I would tell them that it needs to be short and sweet for the sake of THEIR child and that if things progress where he/she isn't crying then you would welcome longer chats (if you so desire).
SimpleMom 12:21 PM 06-20-2011
Originally Posted by jojosmommy:
Interesting. All my clients stay and talk for a few minutes with the exception of once and a while. One lives a few houses away and he always shoots the breeze, talks about the happenings in the neighborhood. Two are good friends (both kids attend only pt or when they need alternate care) and we chat. One is always updating me on one or the other kids special needs and her regular updates with childcare assistance (cca is a pain) but we chat plesantly.
Each kid gets ready while the parents are at the bottom of the stairs helping them and we chat back and forth. Only with one child has it ever become an issue and that is more that child needing discipline from mom/dad than from it being ackward between us. When he acts up we don't chat. Other days he is great.
One family even switched to me b/c they hated the quick in and out they were getting from their old daycare provider. They said they didn't like feeling rushed and unwelcome in her home.
My son has periodically given me issues on it- acting up during pick up to get attention but for the most part he enjoys "chatting" too.
I should ad that it sounds like your parents are more mainpulating you and the convo. I would control the convo and the environment until they understand that they can't do that with you. Also, if their child has issues (starts crying) b/c they are hanging around then I wouldn't chat at all. I would tell them that it needs to be short and sweet for the sake of THEIR child and that if things progress where he/she isn't crying then you would welcome longer chats (if you so desire).
This is exactly how it is here as well. If you want to write a daily report--do it. Don't let them manipulate you. It's too hard and it only gets worse Interesting. All my clients stay and talk for a few minutes with the exception of once and a while. One lives a few houses away and he always shoots the breeze, talks about the happenings in the neighborhood. Two are good friends (both kids attend only pt or when they need alternate care) and we chat. One is always updating me on one or the other kids special needs and her regular updates with childcare assistance (cca is a pain) but we chat plesantly.
Each kid gets ready while the parents are at the bottom of the stairs helping them and we chat back and forth. Only with one child has it ever become an issue and that is more that child needing discipline from mom/dad than from it being ackward between us. When he acts up we don't chat. Other days he is great.
One family even switched to me b/c they hated the quick in and out they were getting from their old daycare provider. They said they didn't like feeling rushed and unwelcome in her home.
My son has periodically given me issues on it- acting up during pick up to get attention but for the most part he enjoys "chatting" too.
I should ad that it sounds like your parents are more mainpulating you and the convo. I would control the convo and the environment until they understand that they can't do that with you. Also, if their child has issues (starts crying) b/c they are hanging around then I wouldn't chat at all. I would tell them that it needs to be short and sweet for the sake of THEIR child and that if things progress where he/she isn't crying then you would welcome longer chats (if you so desire).
I do the reports most days. Parent's all love them. We still talk and chat at pick up/drop offs. If it gets crazy-like, they see it and say they'll go and I can tend to the issue at hand. Hope it gets better soon. You'll find what works and doesn't work for you before long