I have a 9 mo old in my care since he was 8 weeks old, so I know him pretty well. He has been extremely cranky and refused to eat (has only had a few cheerio's and about 3 oz of milk here in 3 days.

I have told her and her mom that I am concerned about him and they say he is alright. I explain that he spends over half his time here crying now and that is very unusual for him. Again this is met with, he is ok.

Well, I am at the point that I am not ok. I can not manage him and the other children while he screams. I am not sure if he is hungry, has an ear infection, or has a tooth coming in that I can see. But ultimately I am about ready to term.

I feel bad because I know she can't take off and does not have sick time. How can I impress upon her that this is important.

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You dont need to convince her or try to diagnose him. Just tell her clearly that his behavior has become disruptive. You feel it may be a medical issue and suggest she has her ped check it out but either way, he cannot return until he is back to his normal self. I exclude for prolonged crying so I have the support of my contract to back me up. Do you have anything in your contract?

Either way, you are already considering terming so by putting this all back on her, she can either term herself or get the problem solved by herself. either way, you win.

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Why do you feel bad for a mother who is neglecting her child?

What you need to do is call her and tell her to come pick him up, immediately, and that he will not be allowed to return until he's seen a doctor and she's gotten a note saying there is nothing seriously wrong with him.

Do not let the inflexibility of her job affect the needs of his care or your groups care. It is not your problem and it's time you stop taking it on as if it is!

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Exactly.

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As a parent, your child NEEDS to come first BEFORE the job.

I wouldn't feel one bit badly.

I'd exclude until the child saw a doctor and I'd require a doctor's note CLEARLY noting any illnesses/ailments (or lack of) and a plan of treatment if the child is sick.

I would NOT allow the child to return without a doctor's note.

At that point, I determine whether the child will be allowed to be in attendance.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I guess I feel bad because she is a young mom trying to take care of her child herself with out state assistance. She doesn't miss a day of work, and always, always pays on time, never an excuse.

However you all are right. She seems to have her priorities set wrong. Her son should come first. My family sure does, and if something is wrong with him I want to cover all of my bases.

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Most places have after hours or urgent facilities that the mother could take the child to without missing work.

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When she picked up I was holding him and he was whining. He went to her still whining. I told her the same things I had been telling her for 3 days and she said that he eats mango's and she would bring some tomorrow.

I said while he does not have a fever I am very concerned and I have to protect my family. I want to be sure that he is ok. Please take him to the walk in clinic, we have 3 in our town, and get a note. That note will cover you and I. I need documentation that he has been seen by someone. He won't eat and is not consolable.

She said ok, but I just received a text message that he ate when he got home and the only place she can take him is to the emergency room.

SMH. Now I have to put my big girl panties on and be the barer of bad news. I really do hope I am not over reacting. But I have to stick to my guns, my gut says something is wrong.

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Yes son should come first... but keeping your job to be able to support and provide for your son may also be a factor here, and I can understand that. Finding a job that is flexible while ideal, may not be easy for a 'young mom' to get.

Regardless YOU can not provide sick care for her son, so she NEEDS to find someone else who can come get, and watch him if/ and when this comes up if she is not able to... Today will not be the only time he is going to get sick, and this policy is typical for just about any childcare home/ center she chooses for her son.

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I have a mom who isn't a young single mom but still does this. DCB had a low grade fever for almost 2wks, then finally developed a sore on his mouth and rash on his face and I made her take him in. They said he was fine and not contagious but she was mad! I think she still is. But I have to cover myself and the other kids as well. I tried to explain that if someone else was like that I would want a drs note to prevent her baby from getting sick, but it just happens to be her's at this point. The other parents keep their kids home if they're sick sometimes 3-5 days and she never has! Not once! I have sent him home sick numerous times and he's gotten my whole family sick many times. I have also watched him sick as well which I regret now because she expects it now. Ugh! So this fall may be a wake up call if he's sick like last year! I just don't get how someone doesn't get it!? An infant without major symptoms is a bit harder but if this has always been how he is its different than an onset of symptoms. What if they don't find anything "wrong" and he's just cranky and doesn't like foods yet?

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