Am I alone in feeling this way?

Registered user logged out for privacy from dcp' due to sensitive topic.

I know this sounds bad but I just have to say it. (Sorry, I promise I am not a bad person).

I really dont like my 1.5 year old dcb. He whines all the time, doesnt speak, doesnt walk, and just screams and pulls the other kids hair for no reason, completely unprompted. He doesn't do anything "cute" or silly or funny. He is here all the time, and it is just problem after problem. His parents are clueless, and constantly making me enforce different rules. They never take him to the doctor. I suspect medical issues and they just are not doing anything. They dont have him on any sort of schedule at all and they spoil him rotten.

I dont want to watch him anymore but I cant afford to lose him right now, so I feel trapped. I have ads out but I have not gotten any "good" replacements yet.

His care is not compromised by how I feel at all. I take excellent care of him and work with him every day, and treat him with loving care. But I have to fake it for him. All of my other dck's I genuinely hug and laugh with and play with, but I just don't "feel" it with this kid. He is just annoying and a pain. Everyday when their parents knock on my door I roll my eyes. I have allowed him to take the joy out of a portion of my day. (Again, I take care of him- I am able to separate my job from my emotions).

Thanks for listening. I hope I am not alone in this. I feel like a bad person for feeling this way but it is how I honestly feel. I just cant stand the kid and I feel stuck right now

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your not alone. We are drawn closer to some more then others- I love all my kiddo's and I have a challenging little bunch- Give it time, you might end up falling in love with him when you least expect it.

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I did not like my Dcb either... He screamed, cried and whined pretty much every day I had him. He wouldn't play or interact with my similar aged son. He literally just walked around crying until he fell asleep. I had him 8mo-18mo and it was awful. I love babies sooo much, but I disliked this kid, he sucked the life out of me. I tried to give so much love, but he was just such an unhappy little guy....term now you'll be glad for it.

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I could have written the exact same post about my 1.5yo dcb. You are not alone! You can pm me if you need to talk

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Thanks ladies! He is on the list to term asap. I have had an ad out for months now (I was going to term him because his parents brought him sick all the time), but I dont want to take any infants and everyone else wants crazy hours, or doesnt want to pay anything.

I am just so frustrated and every time I look at him I have to force this fake smile and it just stresses me out beyond belief. The crazy thing is that he cries when he leaves my house and doesnt want to go. (Maybe I should be an actress lol).

Ugh! So thankful I am not alone.

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You're definitely not alone. I don't know of ANY childcare provder who doesn't every so often has a child in their care that they don't like. Children are little people, and it's completely unrealistic to think we can go through life liking every other person we meet. I hope that you can find a replacement and term... for your own happiness and the little boy's too. Good luck.

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You are not alone.

Your little one is probably very perceptive and realizes that you don't love him as much as you do the others. I believe kids "feel" far more than we give them credit for. Your home just may not be the right situation for him.

I have a SA that I just can't love no matter what I try. This child does very little beyond walking around in circles being bored. I am really looking forward to school getting out.

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Are you regulated in your state?

If so, aren't the parents required to have a health exam done every 6 months until the child is 2, or don't you have that there?


I can imagine what a challenge this is...I have been in your situation, although it was an older child. I admire that you are still able to give him good care.

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If you are to the point where he is wearing you out mentally, now would be the time to go full force in finding a replacement.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have to work with a child each and everyday that was a pain. If you are unhappy, you can bet he is unhappy. I would never want to take care of a child that was unhappy here. Find a replacement and simply tell the family he hasn't adapted well or if you want to sugar coat it, you could just tell them that you aren't going to be caring for children under 2 anymore.

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I've been there, its hard and its draining. I hope you can replace him soon.

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No you are not alone, just a few of us have the guts to say it out loud. I think its not really the kid fault its mostly to do with how he is being bought up. They are the mini versions of what the parents are like. I used to get through my day saying to my self, all kids are born innocent and a clean slate, what the turn out to be is what the parents and the families teach them to be. Hang in there hopefully you will get a replacement soon. It not good for you or the kid to be in an environment with this kinda tension.

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I have one as well ! 1.5yoDCB. He is spoiled at home, gets every thing he wants. So here when I tell him no, he screams, hits, falls on the floor. Granted he is only 18mo, but it's an all day long thing. He walks around crying all day. He arrives before all the other kids and leaves after all the other kids and unfortunately is a big part of my income AND is a friend of a friend

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I'm sorry you are going thru this. If I knew for sure that a parent was not taking their child to checkups and I felt that there were concerning issues, I would have to speak up, regardless of the money. I have one special needs girl here and I am not going to lie, she is not as lovable as the other kids....she is delayed in every way, does not connect well with others verbally or emotionally, and cries more than any other kid, including the baby (which makes sense since she doesnt have the social skills or verbal skills to express herself in any other way). There is no way I could continue on with her care if the parents werent actively seeking help, going to therapies with her and that type of thing.

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ME TOO! This kid is a friend of a friend, which makes it a sticky situation, AND he is here firt and leaves last! I dont know what I should do to advertise other than Craig's list. I am pregnant though, and I dont know how many people want to use a pregnant provider, which also complicates the issue.

A lot of people are having issues with 1.5 year olds- is it the age? If I tough it out will he outgrow it or am I doomed?

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Its crazy that there are so many kids like this! Again you've described my dcb! I can't imagine what home life is like with this kid! The family must be miserable or oblivious! Or BOTH!

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even with a health exam, parents don't always express their concerns to the doctor, especially if they are in denial. If the doctor does not know what is really going on, the doctor will not know how to help the child and family. they can't tell that something is wrong just by looking at the child.

My niece was always at the doctors if she pooped funny. She has a lot of things wrong with her, autistic to name a few and her mom never mentioned anything to the doctor when she went because she was in denial. It was not until she turned 4 did the doctor finally realize that there was something wrong.

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Oh my goodness so not alone! I have one now and have had for 3 years that the voice of the child makes me cringe. The child does not "talk" the child whines..everything!!!
Food is always an issue - potty training..issue..crafts..issue....just everything is an issue with this child. She has been noted to be the Gothic type when she gets older by others that have met her LOL...she does not "play" well like the others and gives everyone looks all the time...
Even other clients that attended birthday parties that the same child attended spoke of the child's behavior and the parent's response. They wondered if the child acted the same way here....
The child's mother asks for help constantly..but never takes the advice

Soon the child will be in school...and sadly I can not wait!!!

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You are not alone! I recently posted about a 6 year old girl I have had in my care since she born. I felt bad because I wasn't in the least bit sorry to see her go when they moved because ...bottom line.....I don't like her. She was willful and spiteful and mouthy and terribly spoiled. I told every one I had Angelica from "Rugrats" in my care!

Human beings have a chemistry with people that we can't help. I have a brother-in-law that makes me want to strangle him just by being in the room! I adore all my husband's other siblings...go figure.

So don't worry! You're human! I hope you feel better that you are not alone. I felt much better after people reassured me I wasn't a terrible person because I was happy to see the child go.

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This honestly made me laugh out loud because sadly I have been there MANY times! I just told my husband a few months ago is it bad that I am getting to the point that I think I only like my own kids? Now obviously that was a stretch, well kind of! Of course I would I raised them, whats there not to love! If we all liked eachother or were all the same the world wouldn't go round, keep your head up and try your darndest to find a replacement because its not easy to live your life feeling like that and he needs someone who whole heartedly loves him! I know you care for him as you would any other child, but children do have senses and can feel fakeness and he deserves the real thing! (((((HUGS)))) to you and hang in there in the mean time! One thing that has helped me is to focus on the good things through out the day! Try to find at least 5 good things about him daily and not focus so much on the bad, the gross, the ugly, the annoying! This will help you get through your days I promise and always remember hes just a baby and hes really not out to get you!

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Good tip with the 5 good things! Haha- I laughed when I read "he's not out to get you!" Some days I swear he's like Stewie from Family Guy, plotting against me lol (not literally, but ya'll know about those days I'm talking about).

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I have 2 DCBs like this. No matter how hard I try, I just can't click with these two. The same with their parents. I have days when this really bothers me but for some reason the connection won't happen. And it doesn't help when one of them is there EVERYDAY from open to close. He NEVER misses a day. Not a one. At least with the other DCB, he mom is very good about keeping him home when she is off and genuinely loves spending time with him. They never get invited to any of the other kids B-Day parties or invited on play dates and it really is sad.

I've never been able to figure out why we tend to click easily with some families and not with others. Have any of you ladies figured it out because I sure would like to know.

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What's with the 1.5 year olds? I don't necessarily NOT LIKE my 1.5dcb... but he's most definitely my least favorite and most trouble in handling. I normally LOVE working with children this age... but this particular boy can be a nightmare. He is extremely whiney - cries every single time he is told NO, cries every single time he falls (even gently) on his bum, cries every single time he is served food he doesn't like (but ends up eating it anyways). Mom and dad spoil him absolutely rotten - which I am sure is more than half the battle. They also had him on baby food until way passed 12 months... and now almost every time mom talks about what he had for supper (which is often) it was pizza, ravioli, frozen baby dinners or some other garbage food. Mom thinks her little man is a genius, which I wish I could confirm... he's actually quite far behind developmentally.

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Logged out for privacy.

Do you think it's a coincidence that it seems many of the children who are whiney, disruptive, tantrum-y are all the first to arrive and last to leave? I also have a child like that in care.

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Great point! I have this kiddo 11 hours a day, every day. He here now, tellin for no reason and waking up my entire household.

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I am on the opposite end of that line of thinking.

My worst behaved kids are the part timers.

I have two kids who come from open until close everyday of the week and they are by far my best kids.

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My part-timers are my best! When I did just preschool all my kids were just a dream to have.

Why were/are they so good? I've just concluded because they get to actually see mom and dad a good number of hours a day. Mine that are here from the time their eyes open to late in the day don't seem to see the parents as much and its just seems to cause behavioral problems.

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I understand how you feel. Truly do. Sounds like my own child!

I am going to say a few things, and I hope they don't come across the wrong way.

1. I can almost guarantee, even with your faking it, this child KNOWS or senses and the energy you give off is feeding it. I bet the parents of this child are dealing with the same issues too, and the child KNOWS that too. He feels like he doesn't belong and he is lashing out how he knows how to.

2. At 1.5 yo, i wouldn't expect him to have a large vocabulary, and in my experience, not many boys are talking more than mom and dad at that age. It will come with time. HOWEVER, children who don't have the words only know how to communicate through physical and what limited vocabulary or sounds that they do have. When my ds was 3yo he still wasn't talking, so he made noises, cried, whined and became physical all the time. The crying and whining was his frustration from not being able to communicate. It literally took a toll on all of us.

3. Flame suit on! If you are unhappy and your attempts to help this child isn't working out, you need to term RIGHT NOW, and not just keep him because you cannot afford to lose him. I don't think this is right at all. Things will work out financially for you. I know how hard it is to struggle and make ends meet, but it's not fair to you, that child, OR the other kids in care to suffer because of money.

I know this wasn't really ADVICE but it's something to think about. This child may be acting out this way because he cannot communicate, is frustrated and he feels like he doesn't belong.

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in the spiritual thread it was mentioned how kids sense or see the world differently. They tend to have a 6th sense for things, and they know.

One of my dcg's that I had I really disliked for a long time. But she did grow on me. She is one of the bratty ones I have posted before, sneaky, and always bad, whining etc. She is not 1.75 yo and has improved greatly, and is one of my favorites by far now (not that I play favorites, I love all my dck's equally, but sometimes they just don't click right away and take time).





I wonder, maybe the dcb on the op's post is treated poorly at home, and is just crying out because of it. I'm not implyin that the parents are bad parents, but maybe they are busy and he is not really "seen" at home. Maybe it's just sort of a pick up, go home, eat, go to bed type deal?

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I agree with kids having a 6th sense about things. I try really hard at bonding with a child that I may not care for. Every time they do something that I don't care for I think of a positive about them. Lots of cuddling, hugs, one on one time for a few weeks. I won't talk bad about the child after DC to my husband and will only bringn up a few cute things the child did that day. I have only been in the situation twice. But I desided that if after the 2 weeks and I still felt the same way about the child I would term. I don't feel like it is fair for the child. Luckly I have never had to term. Best luck to you.

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Thanks! I agree with everyone who said that I should term. I am looking for a replacement right now. Thinking about making some flierss and passing them out around the neighborhood.

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I think if you stick it out and look for the best in this little guy- you may find it. He is at that age where he can't talk and expresses himself the only way he knows how at this point. Teach him signs, words,and give him a chance to grow out of this annoying stage- He is tons of work right now. He demands it. I look at it as a challenge and that not all kids can be angels, cute etc...

You know what is in the best interest for your group, yourself and esp the little guy. If its not in you and you see no sight of it in the future- then do what you have to do. Keep in mind you could be a difference maker in his little life and as he blossoms you may grow to love him. Best- We have all been there before. I guess my best advice to you is hang or cut- and only you know the answer to that.

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oh yeah, that age is tough. about 10 months they start crying to be picked up and if they are spoiled at home, it can take a good 6 months to get over this phase. They have to have "no" and boundaries 5 times as much at daycare if the parents are not doing it at home. Its tough for sure.

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I just wanted to say that my "unlovable" girl has been here for going on 3 years and she did grow on me. It just took longer to get there because of all the things she was struggling with. I didnt want anyone to think that my previous post meant that I still wasnt bonded to her. There is no way that I could term her now after all we've been through

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I agree. Kids "feel" far more than we give them credit for. Can you imagine being stuck with somebody that doesn't care for you for 10 hrs a day, 5 days a week without being able to express how you feel? The only way this child can express himself is by whinning.

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I work in a center and I have had one of my DCBs in my center since infancy. Once he reached the toddler room, everything changed as far as his behavior. Ever since then, not one teacher in any of the rooms he's been in (1's-4's) can deal with him or his mom. It's not like we didn't try, it just won't happen.

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