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  #1  
Old 05-30-2012, 06:59 AM
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Default Memorial Day Revenge

Well my Memorial day was wonderful!
But last Friday I went a few rounds with a dcm about my day off and she got really mad at me . She had to work on Memorial Day and she has no backups and ended up having to stay home with her own kids on Monday.
So, yesterday her 9 year old son treated me like crap, caused problems with the other kids, and then while walking down the hallway, stuck his hand out and "accidentally" knocked my daughters girl scout picture off the wall sending glass shattering on me. The reason why I know he did it on purpose was because he didn't seem shocked or apologetic he just kept walking!
I have a little bit of glass shards still in my hand.
This really makes me so mad. I had to work all weekend and this was my first day off in over a month but boy did I pay for it.
Terming him is not an option and mom would just blame me if I told her what happened.
I just was wondering if anyone knows how to get this glass out of my hand.
Soak in hot water? cold water? I don't have health coverage, so any advise would help.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Michelle View Post
Well my Memorial day was wonderful!
But last Friday I went a few rounds with a dcm about my day off and she got really mad at me . She had to work on Memorial Day and she has no backups and ended up having to stay home with her own kids on Monday.
So, yesterday her 9 year old son treated me like crap, caused problems with the other kids, and then while walking down the hallway, stuck his hand out and "accidentally" knocked my daughters girl scout picture off the wall sending glass shattering on me. The reason why I know he did it on purpose was because he didn't seem shocked or apologetic he just kept walking!
I have a little bit of glass shards still in my hand.
This really makes me so mad. I had to work all weekend and this was my first day off in over a month but boy did I pay for it.
Terming him is not an option and mom would just blame me if I told her what happened.
I just was wondering if anyone knows how to get this glass out of my hand.
Soak in hot water? cold water? I don't have health coverage, so any advise would help.
Soak in warm watter. Put a little hydrogen peroxide (not sure if speelied that right) in the watter to help prevent infection. If is still feels like there is in your hand after a good soak you need to go see a doctor so they can "dig" it out. Sorry you are dealing with this sounds no fun.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:13 AM
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Try putting a piece of duct tape over it and pulling it out.. (like waxing your legs.)
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:09 AM
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Originally Posted by familyschoolcare View Post
Soak in warm watter. Put a little hydrogen peroxide (not sure if speelied that right) in the watter to help prevent infection. If is still feels like there is in your hand after a good soak you need to go see a doctor so they can "dig" it out. Sorry you are dealing with this sounds no fun.
Just for you info. Hydrogen Peroxide is not recommended on cuts or wounds any longer. It kills the good cells too, that fight off infection and promote healing. Notice how when you go to the doctor they never clean it with hydrogen proxide. Besides, it hurts!
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:21 AM
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NO HYDROGEN PEROXIDE!!!

I hope you are documenting this incident, and you absolutely need to tell mom! He is NINE! What kind of monster will he be if he gets away with this kind of thing???
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:46 AM
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I agree with Heidi - whether or not Mom blames you, she should be made aware, and possibly even billed for the cost of a replacement frame. That kind of behavior is absolutely unacceptable.

I second the duct tape idea. If that doesn't work, maybe a sterilized needle?
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Old 05-30-2012, 08:46 AM
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ok, no peroxide, warm water and I am going to tell mom.
I am just trying to figure out a way to word it so that he doesn't pull the victim card and start crying like it was my fault.
I know that sounds ridiculous but he is very smart and mom is really mad at me.

and I am going to do the tape, I have already done the water and it still stings.
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Old 05-30-2012, 09:12 AM
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How could he play the victim card if he was the one that did it?!

And who cares if she's mad at you! That's not your problem!

Not to mention if she doesn't believe or trust you...I'm so sorry that you feel you have to continue care for a family that lashes out at you, no one deserves that
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Old 05-30-2012, 09:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle View Post
ok, no peroxide, warm water and I am going to tell mom.
I am just trying to figure out a way to word it so that he doesn't pull the victim card and start crying like it was my fault.
I know that sounds ridiculous but he is very smart and mom is really mad at me.

and I am going to do the tape, I have already done the water and it still stings.
Ask her to call you after the kids are in bed.

DCM-I know we're having a bit of trouble communicating the last few days. Gosh, we've always had such a great relationship, and I'd like to get us back on track, because I'm worried about how it's affecting dcb. Here is what happened on Tuesday.....

Do you think he sensed that we are a bit out of sorts, and that made him upset?

How do you think we should handle the situation? I mean, I'm not seriously hurt, but I know neither of us wants to give him the idea that this was ok!

Ok...so put that in your own words..but you get the idea. "Yeah, you're mad, but let's move on and help dcb...."

If terminating is not an option, then you have to play nice, even if you don't totally feel it completely. Maybe it's not so bad to be forced to be the "big guy" here, though?
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Old 05-30-2012, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
Ask her to call you after the kids are in bed.

DCM-I know we're having a bit of trouble communicating the last few days. Gosh, we've always had such a great relationship, and I'd like to get us back on track, because I'm worried about how it's affecting dcb. Here is what happened on Tuesday.....

Do you think he sensed that we are a bit out of sorts, and that made him upset?

How do you think we should handle the situation? I mean, I'm not seriously hurt, but I know neither of us wants to give him the idea that this was ok!

Ok...so put that in your own words..but you get the idea. "Yeah, you're mad, but let's move on and help dcb...."

If terminating is not an option, then you have to play nice, even if you don't totally feel it completely. Maybe it's not so bad to be forced to be the "big guy" here, though?
thanks Heidi, I just needed the wording, I like the way you phrase things.
If this were to happen at school, the police would have been called.
I definitely need to tell her.
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  #11  
Old 05-30-2012, 09:59 AM
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I think this is something you really need to address with the DCM. What if the glass had cut another DCK? What if it was more serious? Does this child have anger issues? What would he do if a DCK was to upset him?
I also have it in my contract, that ANY damage done by a DCK is the parents responsibility to pay the repairs/or replacement.
If this child continues to get away with his behavior then he will become a very troubled teen and adult.
I am sorry your are having to deal with this. ((HUGS))
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Old 05-30-2012, 10:07 AM
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OK I'm going to try this again. For whatever reason my reply either didn't go through or it went in under unregistered.
I think you need to address this with the DCM. What if another DCK had been the one to get cut? How do you explain that to the other parents? Does this child have anger issues? What if another DCK gets him mad? Does he lash out at them. If not he will if he continues to get away with this behavior.
I have it in my contract that says. All and any damage done by a DCK will the the responsibility of the parents to pay for all repairs or replacements.
I am so sorry you are going through this. ((HUGS))
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Old 05-30-2012, 10:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle View Post
thanks Heidi, I just needed the wording, I like the way you phrase things.
If this were to happen at school, the police would have been called.
I definitely need to tell her.
Thanks...yeah, and it's easy for me to come up with sweet words because I'm not emotionally involved! That's what we are here for, right? Last week, I had to lay down the law, and Black Cat helped frame it for me. Now, I'm passing along the favor..
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  #14  
Old 05-30-2012, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B Lou View Post
OK I'm going to try this again. For whatever reason my reply either didn't go through or it went in under unregistered.
I think you need to address this with the DCM. What if another DCK had been the one to get cut? How do you explain that to the other parents? Does this child have anger issues? What if another DCK gets him mad? Does he lash out at them. If not he will if he continues to get away with this behavior.
I have it in my contract that says. All and any damage done by a DCK will the the responsibility of the parents to pay for all repairs or replacements.
I am so sorry you are going through this. ((HUGS))
I truly want to do this but it was just a $5 frame and I know for sure she would take them out and I would lose $1300 per month for that so I am just going to tell her about the behavior. He is not like this towards others, just me and he is in counseling.
Thank you for your help
and hugs!
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  #15  
Old 05-30-2012, 02:48 PM
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I truly want to do this but it was just a $5 frame and I know for sure she would take them out and I would lose $1300 per month for that so I am just going to tell her about the behavior. He is not like this towards others, just me and he is in counseling.
Thank you for your help
and hugs!
Seriously? He is bad to you and is in counseling for it? Aw, hun, I am soo sorry that you are basically being held financially hostage by this family in that you cannot call this child and his parent out on the bad behavior due to the fear of losing the income..... I feel horrible for you.

Are you advertising for replacements for this family? If so, I am sending hundreds of warm wishes and good thoughts to help interested clients come your way and if you aren't advertising to fill their space.....please start now.

((((((hugs)))))))
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  #16  
Old 05-30-2012, 02:57 PM
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Aww Michelle I had no idea that you had issues like this with your DCB . Well at least you can discuss the behaviors and the broken frame with DCM and see what happens. I really like the way that Heidi worded how the discussion could go. It points out the issue without putting the blame on anyone and it puts the ball in the DCM's court so that she can figure out how to remedy the situation.

Hugs to you. I hope it all goes well for you.
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Old 05-30-2012, 03:08 PM
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wow the kid did not even stop to see if you were ok or say sorry?? I would have a huge problem with that and I would be telling the parents this..

I would just give them the FYI.................I would also be looking to replace this family with one that would respect you, your house and every one of your policies....
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Old 05-30-2012, 03:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle View Post
I truly want to do this but it was just a $5 frame and I know for sure she would take them out and I would lose $1300 per month for that so I am just going to tell her about the behavior. He is not like this towards others, just me and he is in counseling.
Thank you for your help
and hugs!
I do have a hard time believing that he is only like this towards you. No one puts their kid in counseling just because they are mean to the dcp. They get another dcp.

Don't buy that baloney, baby!
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Old 05-30-2012, 03:47 PM
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I am definitely looking into replacing them.
The boy is not in counseling because of me, it's from domestic violence he grew up with.
Thank you so much for all your support, I think you remember this family
(the kid is sent home from school very sick.... and mom won't pick up)
Well, I have a family of 3 that really wants a spot so we will see what happens, I really love these kids and I have had them for 3 years.
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Old 05-30-2012, 03:50 PM
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wow the kid did not even stop to see if you were ok or say sorry?? I would have a huge problem with that and I would be telling the parents this..

I would just give them the FYI.................I would also be looking to replace this family with one that would respect you, your house and every one of your policies....
You know this is what bothers me the most, he didn't even look back, I was bleeding and trying to clean up the glass so nobody else got hurt and he just kept walking.
I talked to him and told him how I felt and I gave him a hug and he just stared straight through me! scary
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Old 05-30-2012, 10:14 PM
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You know this is what bothers me the most, he didn't even look back, I was bleeding and trying to clean up the glass so nobody else got hurt and he just kept walking.
I talked to him and told him how I felt and I gave him a hug and he just stared straight through me! scary
That's a total red flag. I would definitely look into replacing them.

Poor kid, it sounds like he grew up in , and still might be in, a sucky situation. But that doesn't mean that you should have to put up with that, and honestly, I'd be a little afraid that he would act out violently towards you or worse--another child.
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:46 AM
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Well, I have a family of 3 that really wants a spot so we will see what happens.
DO IT!
It almost sounds like he is hearing so much complaining from his mom that he is trying to get back at you for her.
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:55 AM
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I hope your hand is better today!

An emotionless kid like that would scare me. I'm thinking back about some of the recent threads about emotionless kids.

Please replace that family as soon as possible.
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Old 05-31-2012, 08:26 AM
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my hands feel better today, last night my brother gave me some duct tape and my son held a black light over my hands to see if we got all the glass out,
I told the mom and she just stared at me.
It was funny because my family all said hydrogen peroxide and I said, "no, my friends said not to do that anymore!"
thanks guys
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Old 05-31-2012, 10:37 AM
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Well my Memorial day was wonderful!
But last Friday I went a few rounds with a dcm about my day off and she got really mad at me . She had to work on Memorial Day and she has no backups and ended up having to stay home with her own kids on Monday.
So, yesterday her 9 year old son treated me like crap, caused problems with the other kids, and then while walking down the hallway, stuck his hand out and "accidentally" knocked my daughters girl scout picture off the wall sending glass shattering on me. The reason why I know he did it on purpose was because he didn't seem shocked or apologetic he just kept walking!
I have a little bit of glass shards still in my hand.
This really makes me so mad. I had to work all weekend and this was my first day off in over a month but boy did I pay for it.
Terming him is not an option and mom would just blame me if I told her what happened.
I just was wondering if anyone knows how to get this glass out of my hand.
Soak in hot water? cold water? I don't have health coverage, so any advise would help.
I am going to address the fact that the mom was upset that you took off a Holiday- For Real? At this point, I would not engage in conversation about it- it is in your policy,rule,handbook and contract- refer to that and nothing more. Back up care should be in place by the parent.

Above irritates me

The issue with the boy- don't hold back telling the mother what he did. I wouldn't sugar coat it either. Today so and so did........... then I would ask What do you think should be done about this.....and at age nine the child would be in on this conversation. I would also hand out some form of punishment at care for this- it would have took effect immediately after dealing with the situation of cleaning the mess up and tending to the wound. You were right behind him, you saw with your own eyes what this child did. No room for negotiation on what happened in his eyes.

I know it is good money- but at some point enough is enough. I am not a quick termer either. I believe in working and working with people but if it comes down to money or my sanity- my sanity is going to win every time. Money comes and goes, with this business. Esp for parents that don't respect you.

best-
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:10 AM
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A kiddo displaying a complete lack of empathy is a giant liability.

I understand you care about him, but it sounds like he needs far more intensive management than can be offered in a home setting.


I'm not kidding around here. He could really hurt you or another child in your care. Between him manipulating the heck out of you and mom (as he's obviously very successfully doing) and this latest display I'd be terrified you are dealing with a young sociopath in the making.

He'd be gone today if it were one of my kiddos. I'd be keeping fingers crossed would be enough to shock mom into reality that how he's behaving is frighteningly abnormal.
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:42 AM
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I told the mom and she just stared at me
She literally didn't say anything and just STARED at you ?? She wasn't apologetic or looked like she felt bad or anything??
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Old 05-31-2012, 01:43 PM
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No, she is probably tired of hearing about the behavior and I believe she can care less about me. You guys care more about me and we have never met!
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Old 05-31-2012, 01:53 PM
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No, she is probably tired of hearing about the behavior and I believe she can care less about me. You guys care more about me and we have never met!
Michelle that's so sad and awful at the same time. I would seriously be considering taking on that other DC child and giving this child their 2 week notice. Regardless of what the mom's issue is with holidays she still needs to be a mom and handle this issue. The kid's lack of empathy really worries me.
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