How long did you nurse your children?
Anyone intending to nurse long term?
How do you know when to end?

My DS is 18 months old and I've nurse him the whole time. He's never had a single drop of formula, and never even had a single bottle, it's always been just me. He still loves to nurse first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I never ever minded it, but lately I'm feeling pretty done with it. It's just getting annoying to me, and I'm sick of his tantrums for it.

But then when he asks so sweetly for "Chi chi" and points to his chest as his sign for it it melts my heart and I let him nurse. The bonding is nice and it's relaxing for both of us.

But, I also feel sick of it and would like to end it.
But I feel guilty. Like I'm robbing him of the benefits. But it's been 18 months already so I know he's already gotten a ton of benefits. Is there any more to be gained by continuing to 24 months?

Thoughts please?

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Oh, you'll get all variations of answers on this one. In my opinion, the only appropriate answer is:

Whenever you're comfortable stopping.

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Okay, no one jump all over me - but I am just relaying information

My best friend is a RD, and she said that the 12 month breastfeeding studies are actually based off of the benefits of BF for 6 months. So I can only imagine that the studies that say 24 months are based off of something similar.

I think 18 months is an extremely commendable amount of time, and you should be proud. I would imagine that the repercussions of stopping now are very minimal - and most of the benefits have been gained already.

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But how do I know when I'm comfortable stopping if I feel so conflicted about it?

For 16 months it was a no brainer, I loved it, DS loved it, but now after 18 months... It's getting old fast. But I don't want to rob him of added benefits if there are really any more to be had...

Blandino, thank you very much for saying that. I don't know why I feel so guilty about wanting to stop now. I just feel like I'd be robbing him or taking away something so special that he loves and is so good for him. But seriously, it's been a LONG time and I'd just like to have my body back for a little while before I get pregnant again sometime this year. And I'm such a sucker when he's asking for it!

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Yes, I get what you're saying. And I don't mean to trivialize it. I just mean that this is a contentious topic that people feel very passionate about - whichever side they're on.

So I guess I'd say if you're starting to have negative feelings about it, maybe it's time to stop. But what do I know?? lol

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I bf'd both my boys, the first till he was 3.7 years and the second until he was 4 years 2 months and 29 days

So I'm biased bc I love "extended" breast feeding.

I suggest that you visit LLLI.org and ask this question on their forums if you can. I think you'd get some good help.

In my opinion tho from what you said it sounds like you are starting to get a little weary of your bfing relationship with your son. This is normal and you can cut back at his age without quitting totally. Since he's not fully dependent on breast milk for all his nutrition now it would be ok to set limits that you feel more comfortable with. Breastmilk does benefit toddlers with immunities so you may want to consider that too.

Some moms night wean, some day wean, some pick the most important sessions (morning, nap, night) and only say yes to those. Setting limits can help relieve your feelings of being done while still balancing his need to nurse. Since you both are in this nursing relationship it's important to honor both of you

It is ok to say no or distract a toddler when they ask to nurse. They may cry because it is sad, so acknowledge his feelings if this happens and then tell him when you will nurse (nap time, bed time, after lunch etc) it may take a while but he will adjust to the new routine.

I ended up day weaning at age 2 with my son but kept the wake up, nap and bedtime/night time sessions because those were most important to him. But during the day when the daycare kids were here it was easy to distract him. It helped me not feel so touched out and allowed us to keep nursing. I night weaned at age 3 and kept just wake up/nap/bed. Then we slowly weaned off of those. It was a very gentle end to our breast feeding relationship and I felt really good about that

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Here is some info on the benefits of breast feeding toddlers and children.

http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

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I've reached 1 year with my daughter. There are definitely times when I feel weary of it, especially the last week, we've both been stressed and not feeling great so she's been asking very frequently. It melts my heart to see her signing 'milk' though. I just tell myself that she's still getting tons of awesome out of it plus we're doing delayed/spaced vaccines to give her immune system time to breath between doses so to make sure she's extra protected I want to go at the very minimum two years.

I plan on extended BF, but only so long as she is comfortable. I think you're going to go through phases where you just want to bed done because it CAN get tedious. BUT at 18 months it is also possible to cut back considerably to 1-3 times a day and still have it work. So maybe you don't need to stop. Maybe if he's asking during the day offer water instead and reserve nursing until the evening and for waking up. I'm not sure what kind of frequency you have going on right now. :3

I also suggest talking to some LLL people, they will have advice and words of encouragement for whatever you decide. You are a rockstar for hitting 18 months already mama!

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There are definitely times when nursing a toddler becomes a bit of a chore. And other times that it is so touching. It is more than acceptable to teach your child manners when it comes to nursing. These can be whatever you choose. I.E., its okay to nurse before nap and bed and first thing in the morning, but not at other times. Or it's okay to nurse when at home but not in public. It's all about what you are comfortable with at this point.

There are benefits that your child will receive from you as long as you nurse. And you will continue to receive benefits for as long as you nurse. In fact the immune benefits become more concentrated as you milk supply decreases. Sometimes toddler nursing may cause a tantrum, but then at other times, it may curb a tantrum. Toddlers are learning to behave and be little people. Even if you stop nursing, your child will find something to have tantrums about .

I nursed my first until 15 mos. My second until about 33 mos. My third until about 27 mos. Towards the end with child number 2 and number 3, it was annoying and painful to nurse, as I had very little breast tissue left... With both, weaning happened when I went on a vacation without them. After a week, they had forgotten how to nurse. To be quite honest, my 2nd child gets sick less often than the other 2 (not a conclusive study, just something I've noticed). There were times when I wish I had nursed my son longer (third child), and I wondered whether it would have made things easier during his third year of life. But I don't live my life regretting going to Hawaii without the kids

Take it day by day, there doesn't need to be a decision to stop. Sometimes these things figure out their own way.

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Funny story. I nursed my son until he was two years old. One day came up to me to nurse, he tried then looked at me and said "there's none in there, I want a Coke", then marched off to the fridge!

I tried to nurse my daughter who is adopted. She was two months old when we adopted her so it didn't work.

I say nurse as long as you want.

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nurse as long as you want. I nursed my dd till she was 3. It was august and I couldn't stand another hot sweaty body touching me, so I called it quits. I do notice that dd is rarely sick, and dh always says that she's built like a brick sh*t house lol!!

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Ann, now thats funny!

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This. There are definitely benefits to long term breastfeeding, so you are still giving him something. But it is also ok to put limits on it, perhaps nap and sleeptime only? If you are getting uncomfortable, you can help him find balance.

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I'm having a baby in September and will nurse that child for at least 2 years (which is the MINIMUM recommendation from World Health Organization). Research has shown that a young child's brain continues to grow at a great rate up until the age of 5/6 so nursing as long as you can will greatly benefit them. Your milk will change for your child as they grow and age.

When you become completely touched out/resentful, that's usually a good time to slowly start weaning or slowing it down a bit.

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How long did you nurse your children? with my 3rd (&last) I nursed until he was about 13-14 months - I added more time with each of my little ones - 3 months with baby #1, 8 months with baby #2
My 3rd never had formula & I truly enjoyed the experience also, I think I got better at nursing with each child I had


How do you know when to end? Well I think it is hard to stop sometimes if you are devoted & it is difficuly because it signifies that your child is getting older/growing up. For me my child wouldn't cry if he didn't get to & had just moved on from that experience so it was easy to stop.

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38 months with my twins. They didn't really eat a ton of real food until 2ish and really need the calories from nursing. They also had no desire to drink out of a cup and would have been dehydrated. For me, I stopped because I hadn't really slept in 3 years. I night weaned them at 2 1/2 and my husband would go in to them if they woke up.

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Whoa! This is a totally breast feeding group!!!!! Love it! Wish I could be a wet nurse...but I'm 53 and that probably won't work! LOL My sister was a wet nurse for a friend of hers who was very sick at the time. The friend ended up nursing afterwards.

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I stopped at 18 months with my first and 24 months with my other two. At that timeI was young, the first in my group to have kids and seriously caved to peer pressure. (Mostly from my Mom.)

One thing I'd like to mention is that you most likely won't have any regrets if you keep it up... but it's possible you will if you stop. I know I do.

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I know! I'm pleasantly surprised that the OP is getting such supportive advice here! Yay!

I just wanted to add that both my sons are naturally super smart and the littlest that I just weaned a year ago (he's 5) just taught himself to write with no instruction from me. He also has a freakishly natural understanding of math. So I really think there are benefits beyond nutrition for kids who extended breast feed but I realize that's anecdotal and I'm totally biased.

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I nursed for about 12-ish months. The first time, I stopped before the first birthday, the second was sometime after the first birthday. I can't remember.

I stopped because *I* was ready to stop. I didn't want to do it forever, and I just wanted my body back to myself.

I nursed and cloth diapered because we couldn't afford a lot of necessities, much less formula and disposables, so I felt like sticking with it as long as I could was best for my family. We still had bottles though, and I would pump, and occasionally use formula samples from the doctor.

A lot of people believe in baby led weaning, and I just wasn't ready to be one of those people... I just wanted to be left alone. I had a friend who was on baby number two, when i was on baby number one.... her first son was still nursing when baby number two came along...so, she was nursing both of them. Colin was three at the time, and never stopped nursing. When she stopped nursing both kids, she was very depressed for a while...it was much harder on her than on them.

So, it's a personal choice...if you are going to miss it terribly, wait a little bit. If you feel like you are just SO done, go ahead and cut back until you can stop.

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And one more thing to the OP:

You're awesome already for all that you have given your son so take a minute today to acknowledge that to yourself!

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^ What she said. It does sound like you are ready to wean him. (re-read your own post) Just make sure that when you do stop that you replace that cuddle time with something like reading a book, etc. My youngest never took a bottle either - went straight from me to a cup at 18 months.

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I do want to add, is that when you nurse for a really long time like I did, I now have saggy boobs, nothing like victoria secret can't fix

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I nursed my first for 12 months...she quit on her own. I was pregnant and maybe there just was not much milk. My second was 2 3/4. I was ready to be done @ 2 1/2.

Neither of my kids ever got formula or a bottle either.

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I am actually NAKing my 21 month old right at this moment, yes, nursing a toddler can be a trial and a chore...but it gets better. In a few months, when he better understands where he ends and you begin, it will get better. I think it was right in the 16-20 month range with my DS when I was wistfully wishing he would wean himself, and I think it was that way with my DD too.

Now is the time to start enforcing some "manners" when it comes to nursing, introducing the idea of nursing sometimes being "asleep" (but I can still cuddle you!), asking "Nurse please?" (with signs if not words), and whatever else works for you. I'm trying to gently guide nursing to just be a sleepytime thing, as I'm tired of him scrambling onto my lap every time I sit down.

Remember too that 16-20 months tends to be a big separation anxiety time, and taking away nursing right now might be akin to trying to take a lovey from a toddler. The tantrums for it are probably partially related to that panic that stems from growing independence that is really really scary for toddlers even though they throw themselves toward it with reckless abandon.

You can also check out "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" if you haven't read it already; it provided me with a lot of valuable insights into the changing mother-child relationship at this age and helped me through the tough months. The library should have a copy, or I have one you could borrow if you needed.

Whatever you decide, try not to make your decision hastily or from a place of anger or resentment or anything. Do some reading and some reflection, and try gently cutting back. Whatever you do, sit down with him at a calm time when neither of you is upset, tired, hungry, etc, and explain how you're feeling and how you're going to change things. Maybe start talking about a nebulous "someday, you won't drink nursing (or whatever you call it) anymore, you'll be soooooo big you'll only drink from cups!"

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She is right. Only you can decide how long is right for you. I love the episode of Family Guy where Lois is weaning Stewie. Very funny! I nursed ds1 along with supplemental formula for 7 months. My job just didn't leave ample time for pumping bottles for him so I dried up. DS2 I nursed for 18 mos, he never had formula, which was a great feeling. With him I had a job where I was in one location and could make the time to pump as i scheduled it around when my driver's trucks would leave so it didn't affect anything. Best of luck when you decide to wean! My ds's were ready too. That is why I stopped with this last one. I was very sad and found myself confused as to what to do at night on the rare occasion he would want comfort!

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And also, the support on this thread is AMAZING! Awesome

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Yes. My ped told me at the 6 mo check up that all the benefits he got from me initially were gone! Of course, it still helped him if I were to get sick since he would get those new antibodies. I was surprised by him telling me this!

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Kids say the darndest things! I actually LOL with this one!

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I would stop at 12 months but whenever you want. I know some women nurse til there kid is 4 but hey whatever makes you happy.

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Parental opinions can really weigh in heavily.

My Mom rants about how GROSS it is to breastfeed past 6 months-12 months of age. 12 months of age is "really pushing it" according to her. She really made me feel poorly. She went on and on like this for so long (while trying to conceive) that I finally told her, "Either you keep your different opinion about my breasts to yourself, or I will sit completely topless in your living room breastfeeding any future children I may have." She knows I am quite serious and I haven't heard any negativity directed at me since then! She has opinions about everything, though, and I find them to be quite irritating and the exact opposite of how I live/do things.

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I stil my nurse my 17 month old . However, it is very unfortunate that my milk has dried up a LOT due to being a childcare provider and not having time to sit down and pump. He has always had a slight issue with being able to transfer and keep my supply going so I have always had t se the pump to maintain it . I stopped pumping regularly last summer when I got the FT infant I have now and didn't just have the 2day a week baby. I no longer have the 2day a week girl (had to term over biting) . My body is capable of over producing so I can make milk but I just need the pump to help.

This is one reason I need to let go of my last child care kid and just keep the one drop in baby instead. Because he won't nurse unless we are alone and I'm in my bedroom , I can't at all since I have to be out her to supervise the 11 month old . And because there is so little milk left, he is not interested in staying on the breast long enough to get any to come out with all the distractions of the play room toys,other kids etc..
By the way, when the drop in baby started with me last fall, I wet nursed her and donated milk when I had time to pump enough extra. I am very passionate about being able to still produce milk for my son. He has not had more than 3 colds and they all lasted no more than 0-3 days. He has not had one fever but the ONE day his rsv peaked before he started getting better, when he had 4 days of rsv from start to finish. I also feel not doing vaccines contributed to his good health, so I just wanted to put that out there and not give the impression that I think his health was from only getting breastmilk . I want to keep up with breastfeeding (or in a cup if he isn't still nursing) past two because I have seen kids get sick around age 2 and I want to have that breast milk on hand fresh, without using donor milk.
2weeks sho every one in out family of 6 (Ihave 4 kids ) but my youngest had the stomach flu and had a turn each day of being very sick in bed for about 12 hours before getting better. I was closed for an entire week. He never caught it.

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I've read that as well. Nursing is WONDERFUL. But I think some of the benefits of it are somewhat overstated. Ducking


I was bummed because my younger DD self weaned around 9/10 months. I think had I been able to go in a room alone and let her nurse she may have gone longer, but with the kids here she wanted nothing to do with it.

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That's what I'll be doing for my youngest child (being a breastfeeding, non-vaxxing mom). I've seen WONDERFUL things when families go this route.

My fully vaccinated (not my choice, he wasn't ours), non-breastfed (not my choice, he wasn't ours) adopted son has to be one of the sickest children I have ever met in my life.

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I breast fed my oldest daughter until she was 12 months old...
She will be 23 on May 31..
I was working in the family western wear business.. I took her to work with me.. portable crib... enrolled her in a family daycare home at 10 months.. and managed to nurse at bedtime for awhile...


I breast fed my second daughter until she was 2 years 9 months old...
She turned 18 last August 26...
I had been doing daycare for just over 1 year when I gave birth to her.. so she was with me every day..
She would say.. NURSY SLEEP ME MOMMY.. NURSY SLEEP ME

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My neighbor is an extended breast feeding, LLL leader, and selective vaxer - all her children all have had many ear, sinus and throat infections and all three of them needed tubes. These kids are in elementary school and still miss many days due to illness.
My one DD refused to nurse so I EBM for about 3 months and then switched to formula. She's never had an ear or sinus infection and is rarely ill. My other DD nursed exclusively for 9/10 months and has frequent ear and sinus infections as well as asthma.
Again, I think breast feeding is wonderful, but it's not magic.

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Oh, it's not magic. Some people are just sicker than others. But, the benefits of breastfeeding and not vaccinating far outweigh anything else I could ever give my child. So, that's the choice I'm making.

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how sweet!!

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I'm a non-vaxer too! Not to thread jack, but has this ever come up with your DCP? Do they know? Do they care?

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This may sound completely weird but, sometimes I still want to throw him a boob when he is sick or teething! I have actually thought of doing this when he wakes up and won't settle back down! I mean I only quit right before the new year!

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It's none of their business.

I RECENTLY changed my rule to be that their own children CANNOT come to daycare within 24 hours of being vaccinated.

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the best part was that I didn't have to worry about any bottles or formula or even a soother. I think thats why I did it for so long. Also, it you are low on milk they do have something out there, but a warning, you will smell like maple syrup and you will have lots of milk, I think it starts with the letter M. It so worth it.

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DD1: Weaned one month before her third birthday.
DS: Weaned by his 2nd birthday
DD2: Weaned around her 2nd birthday

My oldest held on longer, in my opinion, because I was working full time out of the home and it was our special time together. But I was pregnant with her brother and did not want to nurse 2 kids, so I kind of pushed her. My son and younger daughter self weaned so gradually that when people would ask if they are still nursing, I had to stop and realized that they hadn't nursed in over a week! Lol.

Since your son is only nursing in the morning and at night, it sounds like he is almost done. Choose one of those times to cut out and find a way to distract him. Maybe have a sippy cup of warm cow's milk or some juice available to drink first and cuddle him while he drinks it. Keeps the warm fuzzies of being close to mommy while moving him away from relying on the breast. No guilt necessary. From what I understand, you have already gone a whole year longer than what is the American average.

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I nursed both my children until 2yrs. My daughter actually a little longer...she did not want to stop and always refused a bottle anyway( she's stubborn even now ).

I think the benefits are there for any length of time you nurse. And yes you have nursed for 18 months ....awesome!

If it is draining you then maybe that's when you need to stop. It should be a pleasurable experience and a positive one. I remember that once I got to around he 15 month mark that I was mostly nursing at night so it wasn't like in the newborn age when I was nursing every couple hours so for me it wasn't that bad.

Do what is right for YOU and your child.

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I think you are thinking of the Fenugreek syrups or drops. They didn't do a WHOLE lot for me, but they do work wonders for some out there.

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I used Fenugreek but in pill form and it did help me alot. And yes you do smell syrupy

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Thanks so much for all the responses! I feel so totally encouraged and this was such a positive, supportive thread! I think I'll keep on going with it because it really is our special time, he absolutely loves it so much after the end of a long and crazy daycare day, it's our time to retreat and relax in the evening.

It's true that pressure from my mom really influences me. She nursed until 9 months and while she totally supports breastfeeding, she thinks breastfeeding this long is weird and any longer is starting to get creepy. But I'll just have to ignore that.

I think I'm totally blessed to have such an EASY breastfeeding experience with my DS, I'm lucky I have the ability to keep going. And I like what someone said, I'll never regret nursing longer, but I might regret stopping short.

Thanks so much everyone!

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I'm glad ypu've come to a decision you're happy with!!

As for your mom, just stop discussing it with her. What she doesn't know, she can't be judgmental about kwim? (I know, easier said than done)

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I guess I'm really weird. I homeschooled, adopted, did not circumcise and nursed till 2.

Home providers are weird automatically. You'd have to be weird to turn your home into a daycare.

I like weird

Carry on with what is right for you and your child!

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Haha, easier said than done. My husband, DS, and I house share with my mom. She's got a split level house so we live mostly upstairs and she lives downstairs. My mom is also my daycare partner so we work together full time, live together full time, and also hang out together in our "free" time. :P

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Ah, yeah, that would make it very hard I wish you luck...

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I don't really have much to add, as there's already been some great advice & support here. Good job on nursing your child for so long! If you are starting to resent nursing, it may be time to stop. That's totally up to you & you are to be commended for nursing for so long. As you know, toddler nursing is demanding & very different than newborn/ not really mobile baby nursing. Toddlers can multitask w/ your nipple in their mouth & doing gymnastics like crazy. Anyway, to answer your question: My 19 yr old I stopped at 12mos b/c I thought you had to, my 17 yr old weaned at 15 mos, & my baby is almost 26 mos & still going strong. I'd like to go to 3, but will have no regrets if I had to stop tomorrow. My initial goal was 2 yrs, & I made that, so I'm happy.

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As long as you and the baby feel comfortable!

I've nursed:
DS1 - 5 weeks. I was young and stupid and failed
DD1- 3.5 years
DS2 - 18 months, completely tandem nursing with DD1 the whole time, and 20 weeks of that pregnant with number 3.
DS3- Still going at nearly 3 years old (will be three in April).
DS4 - Still nursing at 13 months (yes, I'm tandem nursing again)

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