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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Ever Had This Happen To You?
blueclouds29 07:45 AM 04-07-2011
I had a 14 month old boy who was 'a boy', very rough with the babies and my 2 year old dd. His mom was already seperated from his dad. He saw his dad every wednesday and every other weekend. When i got him in Nov mom was with another guy. Three weeks ago mom told me she was moving back with her mom and she has to take him out cause she won't be able to do the drive. Now i can understand why his behavior is changing. It was just getting worse. Pushing the toddlers over, crawling across the infant i have, very rough...
Now she texted me that she wants him to come back. The thing is we need the money cause i haven't been able to fill the spot.. but i just couldn't stand him. Should i lie and say the spot is filled or take him in cause we need the money??
I don't know....
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dEHmom 07:48 AM 04-07-2011
don't take him because you need the money...


do a trial period. If the child is still acting the same as before, then turn away. If things have improved with the child, then allow them to stay. Or just simply say sorry.
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Blackcat31 07:49 AM 04-07-2011
Which was worse? the loss of money or the stress from the kid?

That is soooo tough.....I've been in that situation before and soemtimes no amount of money is worth the cr*p you put up. So really only YOU know the answer to this one.

Can I ask why did you not really care for the child? (besides his aggressive actions)
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blueclouds29 07:56 AM 04-07-2011
I'm afraid that he's either going to get worse with what's going on at home and/or he's really going to hurt one of the babies. He was starting to throw really bad fit where he would try to find something to throw or hit anywhere near him. He would seriously throw himself on a baby. That just made me scared.
Mom knows about his doings and said that i can slap his hand.. whatever needed to be done... but then my dd started hitting cause she thought it was ok. So i'm not doing that anymore.. he doesn't understand time-outs. i was just at my wits end to help him understand its not ok to hurt your friends. (i totally realize he's a BOY and 14 months). I think it was just family issues at home that was causing his outbursts.
He was making my day so stressful, it was an ALL DAY affair of watching the babies and keeping an eye on him.
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marniewon 07:57 AM 04-07-2011
I agree, don't take him for the money. Start with a trial period and see how his behavior is now. Did you ever talk to mom about his behavior before? If she knows it was an issue, maybe start right out by putting provisions in the contract about his rough "play" and make it a condition that mom works on it at home with him. If he improves in whatever time frame you allow, keep him, and if not, term him.
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MsMe 07:59 AM 04-07-2011
Never do this job "for the money" The money can be nice (I know I get paid well) but teh stress taht comes with is it is never worth the money. I have learned to select my families very carefully. It make me happy=the kids happy=hapy parents. It doesnt work any other way.
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blueclouds29 08:03 AM 04-07-2011
You guys are right, its not worth it and the kids are so happier now that he's gone.. I texted her and told her it was filled. I just don't want to deal with it. I will find another kid and it will be way better! Thank you everyone for your input! I love this place
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ninosqueridos 08:13 AM 04-07-2011
May peace continue to be yours I have a toughie on my hands but his parents are divorcing so I'm sticking through it hoping things get better.
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SandeeAR 08:14 AM 04-07-2011
My standard reply if I didn't want to take a child on for ANY reason is, "Sorry the spot isn't available". That doesn't say it is filled, it just says it isn't available, they don't need to know WHY the spot isn't available.
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blueclouds29 08:16 AM 04-07-2011
Originally Posted by ninosqueridos:
May peace continue to be yours I have a toughie on my hands but his parents are divorcing so I'm sticking through it hoping things get better.
Good luck.. i think that was his man problem.. too many moves... too many people..not a stable place... poor kid...
she wanted him to come back here which involves ANOTHER move.. he's just getting settled in with that school and she's going to take him out... i feel so bad for him..
Just praying for these poor innocent kids with divorce parents being moved from person to person..
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cheerfuldom 08:29 AM 04-07-2011
you did the right thing. unless you are down to ramen noodles every day, I would not take and deal with an out of control kid every day.
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texascare 08:51 AM 04-07-2011
Money is not always good money. It isn't worth the stress with this child. You have already tried. I say once they leave they are gone. That's just me though.
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daycare 08:56 AM 04-07-2011
So is the issue the just the kid or are there issues with the parents too?

a few years back I had to term a family becuase the parents were always making late payments and then would lie about the payment arrangements I tried to set up for them.

The DCM calls me about 6 months later The parents split up and the DCM moves in with her mom who lilves in town. She calls to ask if they can come back and says that her mom will make the payments. I thought about it for a few days and then said ok you guys can come back.

The kid was ok before, but now the kid was just a nightmare. Living at grandmas was not good at all. Went to bed when wanted, ate what wanted... you know the stuff that kids do when they visit grandma. Except this kid was now living there with grannies NO rule policy....lol

Long story short, i regreted it and ended up with an even bigger headache and termed again within two months.

This was just my experience...

I say that if you can deal with the parents and get them on your side you might have a chance, but i would start them off fresh just like new kids and make them go through a trial period like other said....
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countrymom 09:07 AM 04-07-2011
you did the right thing. I have a couple parents who want me to watch their 10 yr olds on holidays and the summer and omg the older kids are nightmares, so I just tell them that i don't watch schoolagers anymore. Sometimes money isn't everything
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Tags:bad economy, need - the money, problem child
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