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  #1  
Old 08-06-2015, 01:23 PM
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Default No Sunscreen for DCB - Update

Well.. DCM picked up at 1 today unexpectedly. I hadn't had a chance to type up a termination letter.

I also wasn't prepared to talk to her yet, as I didn't know how I would word it.

So anyways, I told her that I had not had a chance to type up a formal letter but that I was terminating care. I told her that I would email her the official notice tonight. I basically justsaid I didn't think my program was right for DCB.

She was obviously upset and told me that I "can't do that." I stayed calm and told her that we are in our trial time and that I can terminate for any reason. I also explained that this is not personal it's strictly a matter of liability. Also, a huge inconvenience to keep DCB constantly shaded.

She didn't say anything else and just left. But then I got a text message about an hour ago saying that I'm discriminating and this is illegal. But here's the kickerů She said that DCB smells like sunscreen and she knows I put some on him. I would never do that! I would never never never put sunscreen on him!

So I responded in all caps telling her that I would never do that. And she hasn't responded. Basically, I'm sure she's calling licensing on me.

Anyways, I sent my licenser a heads up email.

... Just thought I'd give an update.

This all started so calmly too! They seemed SO SO nice. I'm sure I can't get into any trouble here. I legitimately did nothing wrong!
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  #2  
Old 08-06-2015, 01:52 PM
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Adult tantrum....

Opposition to using sunscreen is not a protected class. I don't know why everyone thinks they can pull the "discrimination card" without knowing what discrimination actually is.

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  #3  
Old 08-06-2015, 02:05 PM
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Wow!!

I think she hopped the train to crazy town.
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Old 08-06-2015, 02:12 PM
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Hmmm funny she never mentioned dcb smelling like sunscreen before....just throwing a fit and looking for something to tell on you about
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Old 08-06-2015, 02:14 PM
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I find it funny that no matter WHAT we do we are wrong. We would be wrong if we DIDN'T use sunblock and the kids got burnt, now a provider WANTING to protect from sunburn is wrong and "discriminating". We just can't win
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Old 08-06-2015, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by CraftyMom View Post
I find it funny that no matter WHAT we do we are wrong. We would be wrong if we DIDN'T use sunblock and the kids got burnt, now a provider WANTING to protect from sunburn is wrong and "discriminating". We just can't win
Amen!
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  #7  
Old 08-06-2015, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
Adult tantrum....

Opposition to using sunscreen is not a protected class. I don't know why everyone thinks they can pull the "discrimination card" without knowing what discrimination actually is.

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  #8  
Old 08-06-2015, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jujube835 View Post
Well.. DCM picked up at 1 today unexpectedly. I hadn't had a chance to type up a termination letter.

I also wasn't prepared to talk to her yet, as I didn't know how I would word it.

So anyways, I told her that I had not had a chance to type up a formal letter but that I was terminating care. I told her that I would email her the official notice tonight. I basically justsaid I didn't think my program was right for DCB.

She was obviously upset and told me that I "can't do that." I stayed calm and told her that we are in our trial time and that I can terminate for any reason. I also explained that this is not personal it's strictly a matter of liability. Also, a huge inconvenience to keep DCB constantly shaded.

She didn't say anything else and just left. But then I got a text message about an hour ago saying that I'm discriminating and this is illegal. But here's the kickerů She said that DCB smells like sunscreen and she knows I put some on him. I would never do that! I would never never never put sunscreen on him!

So I responded in all caps telling her that I would never do that. And she hasn't responded. Basically, I'm sure she's calling licensing on me.

Anyways, I sent my licenser a heads up email.

... Just thought I'd give an update.

This all started so calmly too! They seemed SO SO nice. I'm sure I can't get into any trouble here. I legitimately did nothing wrong!
I'm sorry. I hope you aren't taking any of this personal.

It is exactly what others said it is.... an adult tantrum because you went so far as to deny a parent something they want done their way.

Well, the ONLY way to get their way 100% of the time is to not allow anyone else to care for their child. Otherwise, it's a working relationship that requires open honest communication.

If she can't do that, she will always be "discriminated" against.

You handled this well. I hope you can move forward and not look back. What's done is done and you did everything correctly and professionally.
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  #9  
Old 08-06-2015, 02:32 PM
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It cracks me up the things people think they can lump under "discrimination".
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  #10  
Old 08-06-2015, 02:46 PM
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I think SHE was discriminating against YOU for your right to be a sunscreen friendly home!
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  #11  
Old 08-06-2015, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jujube835 View Post

This all started so calmly too! They seemed SO SO nice. I'm sure I can't get into any trouble here. I legitimately did nothing wrong!
People are always nice when they get their way. It's when they don't that the real character, or lack there of, shows through.

You handled the whole situation very well. Hoping you get a great replacement family soon.
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2015, 04:20 PM
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I'm just sad because even if I'm cleared of wrongdoing it still goes in my record that I was investigated

I spent a couple hours going over my licensing book and making sure all my paperwork is in order for if/when I get inspected.

I feel pretty crummy that in my first year I'm already getting investigated
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2015, 04:27 PM
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Is this really worth a investigation? I can picture the licensor getting the call, rolling her eyes, and telling the parent that this isn't something to report.
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  #14  
Old 08-06-2015, 05:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Shell View Post
Is this really worth a investigation? I can picture the licensor getting the call, rolling her eyes, and telling the parent that this isn't something to report.
Well, if OP's state requires a medication form for sunscreen and she doesn't have one for DCB, then she wouldn't even be allowed to put sunscreen on him, so I could see someone coming out to check on it, depending on OP's state. I've been at centers who have had state come out and inspect over even more minor complaints. And, of course, that's assuming DCM tells that same story to the inspector and doesn't make up something else.
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  #15  
Old 08-06-2015, 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Febby View Post
Well, if OP's state requires a medication form for sunscreen and she doesn't have one for DCB, then she wouldn't even be allowed to put sunscreen on him, so I could see someone coming out to check on it, depending on OP's state. I've been at centers who have had state come out and inspect over even more minor complaints. And, of course, that's assuming DCM tells that same story to the inspector and doesn't make up something else.
That is what I would worry about, DCM trumping this up.
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  #16  
Old 08-07-2015, 07:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jujube835 View Post
I'm just sad because even if I'm cleared of wrongdoing it still goes in my record that I was investigated

I spent a couple hours going over my licensing book and making sure all my paperwork is in order for if/when I get inspected.

I feel pretty crummy that in my first year I'm already getting investigated

I always look at the positive. I can't help if people choose to make mountains out of molehills but at the end of the day when you did your best and did nothing wrong it doesn't matter if you have zero reports or 1,000 in your file as long as they all show the same results... "provider did nothing wrong".


...and you did EVERYTHING right in my opinion.
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  #17  
Old 08-07-2015, 08:32 AM
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Is she really that stupid?
If all the friends have it on. And you have it on... Just casual contact during play will transfer scent. She's a ticked off spoiled "special" who is mad she didn't get her way.
I'm sure licensing would see it the same.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jujube835 View Post
Well.. DCM picked up at 1 today unexpectedly. I hadn't had a chance to type up a termination letter.

I also wasn't prepared to talk to her yet, as I didn't know how I would word it.

So anyways, I told her that I had not had a chance to type up a formal letter but that I was terminating care. I told her that I would email her the official notice tonight. I basically justsaid I didn't think my program was right for DCB.

She was obviously upset and told me that I "can't do that." I stayed calm and told her that we are in our trial time and that I can terminate for any reason. I also explained that this is not personal it's strictly a matter of liability. Also, a huge inconvenience to keep DCB constantly shaded.

She didn't say anything else and just left. But then I got a text message about an hour ago saying that I'm discriminating and this is illegal. But here's the kickerů She said that DCB smells like sunscreen and she knows I put some on him. I would never do that! I would never never never put sunscreen on him!

So I responded in all caps telling her that I would never do that. And she hasn't responded. Basically, I'm sure she's calling licensing on me.

Anyways, I sent my licenser a heads up email.

... Just thought I'd give an update.

This all started so calmly too! They seemed SO SO nice. I'm sure I can't get into any trouble here. I legitimately did nothing wrong!
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  #18  
Old 08-07-2015, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jujube835 View Post
I'm just sad because even if I'm cleared of wrongdoing it still goes in my record that I was investigated

I spent a couple hours going over my licensing book and making sure all my paperwork is in order for if/when I get inspected.

I feel pretty crummy that in my first year I'm already getting investigated
Don't worry about the investigation (if there even is one). Unless your state has specific regulations about whether or not you have to put sunscreen on the kids or not etc then licensing won't and can't do anything except to note that they came out (if they even take it that far). That actually might be something you might want to call back and ask about but in my area they'd tell DCM that it's a matter between her and I and that licensing doesn't have anything to do with it.

Also about her accusing you of applying sunscreen against her wishes ... which you did not do ... here are a few thoughts...

- Let's say you did put sunscreen on him ... is there a licensing regulation against it? Or it is just "recommended" that you get a permission form signed? In CA licensing recommends forms and waivers signed for liability purposes but they aren't required so if your state is the same then even if you did apply it without her consent all she could do is get mad and terminate anyway.

- You put sunscreen on all of the other kids and I'm assuming on yourself as well in order to protect yourself and them from sunburn. I'm sure that you could have had some on your own hands and it could have transferred onto the DCB by you or any of the other kids which could have left a sunscreen scent. It's likely that's what happened so her smelling it on him and accusing you of actually applying it on him isn't too crazy sounding KWIM? I'd just explain that the next time that you speak to her.

- If licensing does come out to your home to inspect don't worry ... she's complaining about you trying to protect him against the harmful sun's rays for crying out loud. Do you really think that licensing is going to think you terminating her for liability purposes is a bad thing? I really doubt it.

- You've already contacted licensing so if you guys have Unusual Incident reports I'd fill one out and send it in to your analyst just so that you have something to show in writing that says your version of what happened. If the DCM's complaint shows in your file then so will your report which explains that a parent complained after being told she was terminated because you couldn't keep her child unless you could apply sunscreen. Any parent will understand your side I'm sure.

All in all you've handled yourself well. I'd type up a termination letter that's effective immediately and sent it to them, email a copy too if you have an email address. Seems like a lot of drama over such a small thing like sunblock of you ask me, consider yourself saved and dodging a bullet.
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  #19  
Old 08-07-2015, 01:32 PM
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Thanks for all the kind words, ladies

As expected, my licensor showed up at the door about 15 minutes after naptime began. I was scrambling to clean up the lunch mess as she walked up my driveway. Lol

DCM made 3 complaints: I have too many kids, I gave her child "medicine" without consent, and my dogs are dangerous.

One, I've never had too many kids. I'm actually struggling to fill spots

Two, I obviously did not put sunscreen on DCB.

Three, my dogs haven't ever been around the kids. They're in crates or in a different part of the house/outside. But my licensor loves dogs anyways

I won't know until the report is written but I should be good to go!
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Old 08-07-2015, 01:40 PM
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Wow, that was fast! What a ridiculous woman- best of luck to her next provider - poor thing
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  #21  
Old 08-07-2015, 03:45 PM
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Oh jeez, funny that DCM didn't complain about any of this until you terminated her . I'm sure licensing knows it's all a bum complaint.
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Old 08-07-2015, 07:06 PM
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Wow, that was fast! What a ridiculous woman- best of luck to her next provider - poor thing
What a lady and what a quick change!! Hope everything goes ok with the licensing report. Usually when I give a heads up to licensing nothing happens and they agree with me for crazy reasons to report.

In the meantime, above quote - is there a way that providers can warn other providers? Anyone know? or should I start this in a new thread moderators?
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  #23  
Old 08-08-2015, 05:48 AM
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Egads, what a nutjob. Too bad these people don't show their true selves before we enroll them. But thank goodness for the trial period!!
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Old 08-08-2015, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
Adult tantrum....

I don't know why everyone thinks they can pull the "discrimination card" without knowing what discrimination actually is.

I often wonder about that myself, there are different reasons I wouldn't accept a family, I consider most of them liabilities, but what if I'm wrong? I wish I knew the difference between what is, and what isn't discrimination
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