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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Take It?
Alexandra 07:02 AM 07-28-2011
Ok these are the same parents I wrote about in "telling a parent goodbye.' Here goes... The mom tells me Monday she is switching next Monday for Friday and asked if it was a problem. I said well we were suppose to go on a field trip but I guess I can cancel. (He is 1.5 yrs.) Spoke to my husband about it who was suppose to come and says who cares we'll bring him along and each push a stroller. I called mom to ask and said she had to discuss it with dad. Dad showed up this morning and said no they were going to keep him home because they didn't feel comfortable. He said they trust me but not in public. And then he says because if any"thing ever happened to my son I will kill you." He said that right infront of the kids I watch and my father.

Now I know as a parent we think that in our head that if something happened to my kid I'll kill them but would you ever say that to the person who is the provider for your child?

How do I take it? I was planning on telling the parents "goodbye " when she had her baby in October but now I am thinking much sooner.
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SilverSabre25 07:09 AM 07-28-2011
Yikes...I'd be wrapping that boy in cotton and trying to make sure he didn't get so much as a bruise or a bit of a scrape. That would scare the (crud) out of me.

I would be thinking of terming much sooner, too...that's just...scary.
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daysofelijah 07:10 AM 07-28-2011
Buh-BYE! I would never let that man in my house again, my dh would definitely never let a person who threatened my life into the home! I would give immediate termination or if you feel the need give the mom two weeks notice and say her dh is not welcome to pick up or drop off if they choose to use the two weeks.
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Crystal 07:11 AM 07-28-2011
I would not tolerate that. I would have termed him on the spot. NEVER, EVER would I allow someone to threaten me with violence like that, and NEVER, EVER would I care for someone's child if they did not trust me to care for and protect their child 100% of the time. Your father should have said something to him.................
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nannyde 07:13 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I would not tolerate that. I would have termed him on the spot. NEVER, EVER would I allow someone to threaten me with violence like that, and NEVER, EVER would I care for someone's child if they did not trust me to care for and protect their child 100% of the time. Your father should have said something to him.................
See above

That would be a deal breaker to me.
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wdmmom 07:18 AM 07-28-2011
Yep, I would have bid my farewell right then and there. WHO ARE YOU to run your mouth to me in MY house and threaten my life?! ADIOS A-HOLE!
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Blackcat31 07:19 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by daysofelijah:
Buh-BYE! I would never let that man in my house again, my dh would definitely never let a person who threatened my life into the home! I would give immediate termination or if you feel the need give the mom two weeks notice and say her dh is not welcome to pick up or drop off if they choose to use the two weeks.
I agree with daysofelijah 100%!! I personally would probably not even give the two weeks notice and explain to both parents exactly why. Speaking to another person in that manner is inexcusable! Imagine if he were to have made that comment to the Kindergarten teacher. He would have made it two feet out the door before he was arrested for terroristict threats.

Now, I do fully understand a parents instinctual need to protect their child but that was completely inappropriate. You can think what you want but to say it outloud, even in jest is not okay. I would term immediately and report it to my licensor as soon as possible.

Originally Posted by Crystal:
I would not tolerate that. I would have termed him on the spot. NEVER, EVER would I allow someone to threaten me with violence like that, and NEVER, EVER would I care for someone's child if they did not trust me to care for and protect their child 100% of the time. Your father should have said something to him.................

I also agree one of the most important parts of the provider-parent relationship is trust. If it isn't there, then I am not right for you and your family is not right for me.
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Meyou 07:20 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I would not tolerate that. I would have termed him on the spot. NEVER, EVER would I allow someone to threaten me with violence like that, and NEVER, EVER would I care for someone's child if they did not trust me to care for and protect their child 100% of the time. Your father should have said something to him.................
This. I would never want to see him again.
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SandeeAR 07:21 AM 07-28-2011
When he said the words, "I will kill you", I would have said....You will never get the chance, you are terminated immediately for threatening me. I would have then handed him the kid and shut the door.
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Zoe 07:23 AM 07-28-2011
I agree with everyone. That would have scared the crap out of me and I would always be wondering how serious he was. I'd be willing to be that if he had the gall to even say that out loud, then he was actually serious.

Get rid of this family NOW! And maybe have your husband present when you do it.
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Alexandra 07:24 AM 07-28-2011
My father didn't hear it because all the kids were talking loud. He said good thing he didn't hear it or he would have been a dead man. The dad didn't yell at me and say it he just said it in a sentence and I stood there with my mouth dropped open and nothing coming out. Ofcourse my husband who is a coreections officer (lol) is at work and can't recieve calls so I can not wait for him to get home.
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jen 07:38 AM 07-28-2011
Whoa! That is way out of line. Buh bye!
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Alexandra 07:38 AM 07-28-2011
Weird but the dad said he didn't feel comfortable now but if he was 3 then it was different.
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flightlessbird11 07:51 AM 07-28-2011


Really?? I'd have told him BUH-BYE and don't let the doorknob hit you in the
a$$ on the way out!

What a jerk! Term! Also, I agree with a previous poster that said that if a parent doesnt trust you 100% of the time, then they need to find somewhere else. Not cool.
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JenNJ 08:15 AM 07-28-2011
Bye psychopath!
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Country Kids 08:38 AM 07-28-2011
I would almost report this to the police and let him know what he did was not funny, term them and then file a restraining order. This is not at all funny and I would definetly report him to liscensing. The next childcare provider definetly needs to know what happened. Have your husband in uniform or another officer present when you term them and let him know you are very serious about all this.

Also, I'm finding more and more providers are doing field trips with children. It used to be a rareity to find one that did do field trips. Anyway, they may have a hard time finding a no fieldtrip childcare. What do these parents do when their child goes to school and they have fieldtrips. Our fieldtrips sometimes actually involve the parents doing the transportation not the bus company. Will he threaten the teacher?
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Meeko 08:42 AM 07-28-2011
That kind of intimidating talk is not excusable in any shape or form, at any time or under any circumstances.
I would term them now.
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sharlan 08:45 AM 07-28-2011
I would term this family immediately.

I don't care if he was "just kidding", but don't threaten me in my home.

I tell all of my parents up front, I DO NOT STAY HOME all the time. I run errands, we go on field trips. I live my life in a normal manner. If you are not comfortable with this, then you need to find alternate care. End of discussion.

My husband and I were just discussing where we were going to take the kids on Monday for an outing. He's upset because he didn't get to go camping with us this week.
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sharlan 08:46 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I would almost report this to the police and let him know what he did was not funny, term them and then file a restraining order. This is not at all funny and I would definetly report him to liscensing. The next childcare provider definetly needs to know what happened. Have your husband in uniform or another officer present when you term them and let him know you are very serious about all this.

Also, I'm finding more and more providers are doing field trips with children. It used to be a rareity to find one that did do field trips. Anyway, they may have a hard time finding a no fieldtrip childcare. What do these parents do when their child goes to school and they have fieldtrips. Our fieldtrips sometimes actually involve the parents doing the transportation not the bus company. Will he threaten the teacher?
I love when the parents join us on our fieldtrips.
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daycare 09:03 AM 07-28-2011
wow.... I know that sometimes people say things, but don't actually mean them. However, this is NOT something you say to the person that cares for your child, joking or not....And not something you say in front of other children,

I would address this situation immediately, don't wait. Don't let it go on for one more second.

If you have already taken the child in, I think that you will need to finish your day and term right when DCP come to pick up. I would contact your LIC or your Military rep. and let them know this morning what happened..

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with a person like this what a bummer....
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laundrymom 09:16 AM 07-28-2011
I had a long thought out respoNse but it went to cyber land, my quick dirty fast answer is, call mom, request SHE pick up. ASAP. when she gets there hand her child, their belongings. And a term notice that states " due to threats made against providers life at drop off by <insert dads full name> on July 28, 2011, care is terminated immediately. "


Tell mom that after his reaction and comment that you feel threatened and won't continue care. That sometimes accidents happen and you feel he would do bodily harm to you if their child was injured.

I personally take threats very seriously. I have been literally 2 minutes from a madman with my two oldest. At fairchild AFB in 1994, a man walked into the hospital with a machine gun and opened fire. We had picked up flouride drops, left hospital, drove 3 blocks heard gunfire sirens, dropped my ex off at work, He told me to GET OFF BASE, they searched my car as I left the.base and were on lockdown shortly after. At that point we didn't know what had happened, if it were terrorists, or what. I grew up on bases and I had never been so scared. I drove home and waited, we lived in off base housing. I listened to the radio, waited on a phone call. It was horrifying. 5 killed including an unborn child, and I believe 22 people injured, some were preschool age.

This forever changed me. And my thoughts on threats will not waiver.
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Alexandra 09:32 AM 07-28-2011
I am licensed excempt. In my city they only allow you 5 kids including your own and afterschoolers to be licensed. I have 3 children of my own so that will only allow me 2. If I am license exempt I may have 3 kids not including my own. I've talked with other license providers and they told me our city is the only one in the entire state that allows you 5, every other city/town allows you 6 plus 3 afterschoolers. Stinks huh! So either wait till my kids get older or move to another town.
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SimpleMom 09:47 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
Ok these are the same parents I wrote about in "telling a parent goodbye.' Here goes... The mom tells me Monday she is switching next Monday for Friday and asked if it was a problem. I said well we were suppose to go on a field trip but I guess I can cancel. (He is 1.5 yrs.) Spoke to my husband about it who was suppose to come and says who cares we'll bring him along and each push a stroller. I called mom to ask and said she had to discuss it with dad. Dad showed up this morning and said no they were going to keep him home because they didn't feel comfortable. He said they trust me but not in public. And then he says because if any"thing ever happened to my son I will kill you." He said that right infront of the kids I watch and my father.

Now I know as a parent we think that in our head that if something happened to my kid I'll kill them but would you ever say that to the person who is the provider for your child?

How do I take it? I was planning on telling the parents "goodbye " when she had her baby in October but now I am thinking much sooner.
I would say if he was in any way serious (as opposed to totally being sarcastic) term right away. That's just not very cool to say in front of kids anyway.
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Michael 09:51 AM 07-28-2011
Obviously he worries too much about his kid and he expressed it in a dumb way. I think he was talking out of his arse and not serious. Still it should be a wake up call for him and your husband should let him know it.
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MarinaVanessa 10:46 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
When he said the words, "I will kill you", I would have said....You will never get the chance, you are terminated immediately for threatening me. I would have then handed him the kid and shut the door.
Ditto. Me too. I wouldn't even give them the pleasure of a 2-week notice.
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Alexandra 11:04 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Obviously he worries too much about his kid and he expressed it in a dumb way. I think he was talking out of his arse and not serious. Still it should be a wake up call for him and your husband should let him know it.
That's what I think as well, that's why I didn't know if I should brush it under the carpet or terminate.
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SandeeAR 11:34 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Obviously he worries too much about his kid and he expressed it in a dumb way. I think he was talking out of his arse and not serious. Still it should be a wake up call for him and your husband should let him know it.
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
That's what I think as well, that's why I didn't know if I should brush it under the carpet or terminate.

But what IF he was serious? Yes he could have been blowing smoke, but maybe not. How many other children are you putting at risk, if he IS serious? Besides, if he would say that sort of thing in front of the other kids, just think what the future holds when he talks in front of his own child.

I just couldn't/wouldn't take the chance that he isn't serious.
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familyschoolcare 11:37 AM 07-28-2011
OP, I think you should take the dad's body language into account when deciding how serious his "threat" was or was not.
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SilverSabre25 11:42 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by joynerportia@yahoo:
OP, I think you should take the dad's body language into account when deciding how serious his "threat" was or was not.
Regardless, they say there's always an element of truth even in a joke.
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nannyde 12:01 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Obviously he worries too much about his kid and he expressed it in a dumb way. I think he was talking out of his arse and not serious. Still it should be a wake up call for him and your husband should let him know it.
your husband should let him know it

Yes

If he was doing alpha male dog he needs to meet your alpha male dog whether you keep them or not.

Parents that think this way don't realize that we are ALREADY under a lot of pressure not to have ANYTHING happen to the kids. We don't need to be told of the consequences because we know they would be bad.
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Auntie 12:29 PM 07-28-2011
I think the parents trust YOU it is the public that they don't trust. Once again a poor choice of words by the father.

This man sounds like he is a bit of a control freak? Is he? That could be where he is coming from.

It is bad enough we feel horrible if anything were to happen to someone else's child while in our care. But to have those words said to you just adds more stress.
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Cat Herder 12:38 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
your husband should let him know it

Yes

If he was doing alpha male dog he needs to meet your alpha male dog whether you keep them or not.

.
Unless you are like me and ARE the alpha dog...... Well, me and my Springfield 1911.
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jojosmommy 12:47 PM 07-28-2011
I would term for two reasons. First the threat is unexcusable. Everyone wants their kids to be safe with another person but the manner in which he expressed that is too much for me. I wouldn't tolerate that. Second it sounds like he already questions trusting you which for me is an immediate done deal. ONE parent said they werent sure they could trust me with their child (after they wrote me a bad check) and I took that to mean that that child could no longer be in my care- EVER. Once they question your actions with their child you are opening a can of worms and just waiting for them to scrutinize your every action. If I was a parent I would never leave my child with someone I wasnt 100% comfortable trusting so if anyone lets me know they aren't 100% trusting of me I end it right then. And I tell them the truth about it- if they can't trust me with their kid then their kid can't be here.
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cheerfuldom 12:51 PM 07-28-2011
I wouldn't term. I would let dad know that the comment was completely unacceptable and will not happen again. Unless you, OP, really feel in danger or scared of him. I really think he just made a very dumb comment. I would not call the police or do anything drastic over one comment. I would also take to DCM and let her know the full situation and the consequences should a similar comment be made.
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kidkair 01:06 PM 07-28-2011
I had a father come in yelling at me for turning his wife and daughter away at the door for nonpayment. I felt very afraid and was so thankful my husband was home. I asked him to stop yelling, get his kid's stuff, leave and never come back. I actually shut the door in his face and locked it. He had to tug pretty hard cause one of his shoelaces was caught in the door. To my recollection my husband just watched waiting and listening in case the jerk did anything physical.

I also had issues (and wouldn't leave until I dialed 911 and his kids weren't even here at the time) with an ex-husband of one of my clients and refused to allow him to pick up again. The next time he called and said he was picking up early I called the mom and she beat him here and the cops were called to settle their dispute on my front walk.

I would term at pick up making sure to have another adult in the house with me at the time for a witness.
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Blackcat31 01:19 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I wouldn't term. I would let dad know that the comment was completely unacceptable and will not happen again. Unless you, OP, really feel in danger or scared of him. I really think he just made a very dumb comment. I would not call the police or do anything drastic over one comment. I would also take to DCM and let her know the full situation and the consequences should a similar comment be made.
His comment was unacceptable, dumb and irresponsible but it doesn't excuse it at all. I would term for the simple reason that I would NEVER tolerate a threat like that, in jest or in seriousness.

I may not be afraid of him but if I were another parent of a child in OP's care and my provider let a threat like that slide, I can guarantee you that I would be pulling my kid ASAP!!! This provider is caring for other families and their safety is as much of a concern as is her own.
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Alexandra 03:15 PM 07-28-2011
Yes they are both freaks. She texts me all day to see what he is doing at every moment.

Update: Spoke to my husband and he said terminate now. Mom showed up and I tried to explain to her and she didn't want to hear it and said " I don't think he meant it like that" I said "Well he said and you're a nurse, so what if one of your patient's relative said to you if anything happens while in your care I will kill you," " then you would probably go to your supervisor and call security and be replaced with a different patient. She says... "Does this mean you can't watch him tomorrow?"

Anyways this is my first year doing it at home I've done it for years in a centre. So I haven't claimed yet nor know how to. I told she could claim it when I first started watching him but I don't know what to give her I am assuming my social, well she texted me she will not give me my last check until I give her information to claim it.
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SandeeAR 03:21 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
Anyways this is my first year doing it at home I've done it for years in a centre. So I haven't claimed yet nor know how to. I told she could claim it when I first started watching him but I don't know what to give her I am assuming my social, well she texted me she will not give me my last check until I give her information to claim it.
I don't use my Social. I don't want just anyone having that info. I went online and got a EIN number to use. I would get that and tell her to bring cash or a money order for the final payment and you will give her the receipt for her taxes then. If she brings a check, she could stop payment on it for $25.
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Alexandra 03:32 PM 07-28-2011
It's not fair (I know lifes not fair) but would her employer with hold her check if they wanted something in return?
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Alexandra 03:35 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I wouldn't term. I would let dad know that the comment was completely unacceptable and will not happen again. Unless you, OP, really feel in danger or scared of him. I really think he just made a very dumb comment. I would not call the police or do anything drastic over one comment. I would also take to DCM and let her know the full situation and the consequences should a similar comment be made.
I thought that at first but why should I feel uncomfortable everytime he is around or fear if something happens to their child.
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nannyde 03:42 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
She says... "Does this mean you can't watch him tomorrow?"

See that's what matters to HER.

You gave her a PERFECT and I mean PERFECT analogy and she couldn't get around it no matter what.

So once she realizes there's no way out then she comes up with the "does that mean you can't watch him tomorrow" instead of "I'm SO sorry he acted that way. You have been wonderful to us and I'm embarrassed by his behavior and sad that my son won't have you in his life. I can't say or do anything that will undo what he has said. I'm really really sorry".

You gave her the gift of NO.

Have her bring you CASH and give her a receipt for the total without any social security number. Apply for an EIN and supply that to her after you get it.

I hope you are having her pay in advance... not behind. If you allowed her to pay behind you may have lost out on this weeks pay.
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Meeko 03:58 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
Yes they are both freaks. She texts me all day to see what he is doing at every moment.

Update: Spoke to my husband and he said terminate now. Mom showed up and I tried to explain to her and she didn't want to hear it and said " I don't think he meant it like that" I said "Well he said and you're a nurse, so what if one of your patient's relative said to you if anything happens while in your care I will kill you," " then you would probably go to your supervisor and call security and be replaced with a different patient. She says... "Does this mean you can't watch him tomorrow?"

Anyways this is my first year doing it at home I've done it for years in a centre. So I haven't claimed yet nor know how to. I told she could claim it when I first started watching him but I don't know what to give her I am assuming my social, well she texted me she will not give me my last check until I give her information to claim it.
Really? They want to further threaten you?!!!


She is not in a position to tell YOU what's what!

Let her know that you will be getting an EIN number and she can have that when you get it. Tell her that if payment is not received by a certain date and time, you will add fees and it will go to collections or small claims.
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laundrymom 08:52 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Meeko60:
Really? They want to further threaten you?!!!


She is not in a position to tell YOU what's what!

Let her know that you will be getting an EIN number and she can have that when you get it. Tell her that if payment is not received by a certain date and time, you will add fees and it will go to collections or small claims.

Ein number is instant online. You apply and print it right out
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sharlan 09:02 PM 07-28-2011
I am happy to see that you termed this family. I've had a couple of families that tried to micromanage my day. We generally parted ways quickly as it became uncomfortable for both of us.

Remind the mother that you will get your last check through small claims if necessary.
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PitterPatter 09:06 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
Ok these are the same parents I wrote about in "telling a parent goodbye.' Here goes... The mom tells me Monday she is switching next Monday for Friday and asked if it was a problem. I said well we were suppose to go on a field trip but I guess I can cancel. (He is 1.5 yrs.) Spoke to my husband about it who was suppose to come and says who cares we'll bring him along and each push a stroller. I called mom to ask and said she had to discuss it with dad. Dad showed up this morning and said no they were going to keep him home because they didn't feel comfortable. He said they trust me but not in public. And then he says because if any"thing ever happened to my son I will kill you." He said that right infront of the kids I watch and my father.

Now I know as a parent we think that in our head that if something happened to my kid I'll kill them but would you ever say that to the person who is the provider for your child?

How do I take it? I was planning on telling the parents "goodbye " when she had her baby in October but now I am thinking much sooner.
Oh honey absolutley say goodbye!! No client will ever threaten me, in a joking manner or not! AND to say such a thing in front of children. HELLLL no! It's time to say goodbye to this family. I agree I could THINK that I may snap if something happened to my chid but I would never say it! And to a professional that I have already trusted to care for my child. What did your Father say? My Dad was a biker/construction worker type that spoke his mind. I would hate to see what MY Dad would have said. I'm sorry they were so rude to u. I would be in shock but then write a term letter.
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sharlan 09:11 PM 07-28-2011
Tell them to provide you with a W-10 and you will provide them with an EIN.
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PitterPatter 09:18 PM 07-28-2011
Oh geez sorry I guess I should have read ahead. I didn't know u already termed. That's what I get for falling behind.

Good luck with this family I hope she pays u. I myself am about to go get an EIN because I have been giving out my SS number for 5 yrs and this last client going psycho really has me worried. That's a great piece of advise I got here as well!
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Unregistered 11:14 PM 07-28-2011
I would have termed immediately even if it was meant as a joke. There's an element of truth in jokes sometimes and it seemed like there was that element of truth in the dad's comment. I would have termed on the spot. I don't have to put myself through a nightmare final two weeks when I am going to feel on edge the whole time. I would term not just with a written letter but also verbally. I would tell him that he is NOT ALLOWED to talk to me like that under any circumstances and then I would call my husband at work and let my husband handle it from there. I would sic my dad on him, but my dad isn't afraid of being arrested for giving a guy who treated me that way a good old fashioned beat down!
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Kaddidle Care 05:02 AM 07-29-2011
Ditto on "you did the right thing".

The fact that you shared his comment with everyone tells me that you were afraid and threatened.

We all say things we don't truly mean at times and we all make mistakes.
Daddy Bear just learned an important lesson. Threaten your Child Care Giver and you no longer have one.

Keep a journal, and write this all down for future reference. Do NOT give these people your SS number. I'm glad there is an alternative thing for Child Care Givers to use.
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LittleD 05:04 AM 07-29-2011
I don't know if having your husband talk to him after the fact would be helpful at all IMO. It would be one thing if he said something will the dad was there, but after the fact just seems to be stirring the pot, if you know what I mean.
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countrymom 05:15 AM 07-29-2011
this is just awful. Hmm sounds like they played this game before and now they have met their match. I don't know much about ss in the states but I was going to suggest you call ss and tell them what is going on and that you feel unsafe giving out your ss number.
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Alexandra 06:06 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Tell them to provide you with a W-10 and you will provide them with an EIN.
What is a w-10?
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Meeko 06:06 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Ein number is instant online. You apply and print it right out
Even better! (I had to wait for mine many eons ago!!)
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Alexandra 06:20 AM 07-29-2011
So I looked it up and on the irs.gov website and I don't qualify for an EIN number according to their standards. What now?
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Cat Herder 06:23 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
So I looked it up and on the irs.gov website and I don't qualify for an EIN number according to their standards. What now?
Why don't you qualify? You employ YOU.

I don't have any employees but have had my EIN for years.
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familyschoolcare 06:42 AM 07-29-2011
OP-- you could always string the number to together like 123456789 instead of 123-45-6789 and maybe they will not even think that it is your ss # that is what I plan on doing. Because, yes you do not qualify for an ein unless you employ other people, used to be able to but can not get one now unless you employ other people is the was it was explained to me.
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sharlan 07:24 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
What is a w-10?


http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/fw10.pdf
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sharlan 07:26 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by joynerportia@yahoo:
OP-- you could always string the number to together like 123456789 instead of 123-45-6789 and maybe they will not even think that it is your ss # that is what I plan on doing. Because, yes you do not qualify for an ein unless you employ other people, used to be able to but can not get one now unless you employ other people is the was it was explained to me.
You might really want to rethink providing false info to the parents. If they provide the false info to the IRS and it comes back on them, they are going to come back on you.
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Crystal 07:41 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
You might really want to rethink providing false info to the parents. If they provide the false info to the IRS and it comes back on them, they are going to come back on you.
How is that false info? She didn't say give a fake number, she said string the numbers together.
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Meeko 07:51 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by Alexandra:
So I looked it up and on the irs.gov website and I don't qualify for an EIN number according to their standards. What now?
See if you can speak to a live someone. I spoke to a real nice lady when I got mine. I told her I had used my SSN years ago, but nowadays that's too risky. She whole heartedly agreed and issued me my EIN. It came in the mail a few days later.

The parents are entitled to something so they can claim, but you are entitled to keep your SSN private.
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familyschoolcare 08:20 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
You might really want to rethink providing false info to the parents. If they provide the false info to the IRS and it comes back on them, they are going to come back on you.
it is not false info. it is only in a format that does not allow them (the parent) to easily recognize it as your ss most people (esp. those that do not run their own business) do not know that it should/would be your ss#. Tell then this is the number the IRS needs to claim day care expenses on your taxes and leave it at that it is NOT lying.
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familyschoolcare 08:21 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
How is that false info? She didn't say give a fake number, she said string the numbers together.
yah like I said not false info.
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Zoe 09:06 AM 07-29-2011
I got my EIN last year and I don't employ anyone. Got it instantly and it worked on my taxes. So I'm confused as to what website you tried to get it from.
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Alexandra 09:10 AM 07-29-2011
I went under irs.gov and and answered no to all the questions but you have to answer yes to at least one. I thought when it read do you employ anyone that it meant not including myself.
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Zoe 09:22 AM 07-29-2011
Ok, I went to http://www.simplefilings.gov-tax.net/. Maybe a different site will treat you as a sole proprietor, since that's what you are.
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daycare 09:37 AM 07-29-2011
how much did it cost you??
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Crystal 09:39 AM 07-29-2011
It's free Daycare.
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daycare 09:43 AM 07-29-2011
The site that zoe posted it says its $187.00 but it seems to be a 3rd party website....
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Alexandra 09:46 AM 07-29-2011
Sorry I am a little confused... Can I get an EIN or not?
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Zoe 09:53 AM 07-29-2011
Oooh, my bad. I must not have gotten it there then. Sorry! I'll keep looking for the correct website. It was free for me. I find it hard to believe that a childcare provider would be denied an EIN.

Give me a minute!
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Zoe 10:06 AM 07-29-2011
Ok, I don't know what I was thinking linking that website. I apologize. I have my EIN approval letter right in front of me and I got it from the IRS website. I see what you mean about the "saying yes" survey on there. Honestly, I would call the IRS and talk to them about it. I'm sure you can get one, it's just that the website is being difficult for self-employed people.

Business and Specialty Tax Line for the IRS: 1-800-829-4933

Good luck! Sorry for the confusion!
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Crazy8 10:11 AM 07-29-2011
I got my EIN just a year or two ago, got it online instantly. I was using my SS# before that too.

But I just went to the irs.gov website and looks like they changed things a little. You should still be able to get one though - just can't do it online. You are a sole proprietor.

Here is what the website said that I think applies to us:

Important Information for Home-care Service Recipients.
If you are a home-care service recipient who has a previously assigned EIN either as a sole proprietor or as a household employer, do not apply for a new EIN. Use the EIN previously provided. If you can not locate your EIN for any reason, follow the instructions on the Misplaced Your EIN? Web page.

If you are a home-care service recipient who does not have an EIN, do not use the online application to apply for one. You must apply for your EIN using one of the other methods (phone, fax or mail). For additional information, visit the How to Apply for an EIN Web page.

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littlemissmuffet 10:23 AM 07-29-2011
Wow. Had my dad or husband heard that...
neither take kindly to men treating me badly, or threatening to do so.
Neither do I, for that matter, and I would have termed right then and there and had a good chuckle after locking the door behind him.
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sharlan 12:13 PM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by joynerportia@yahoo:
it is not false info. it is only in a format that does not allow them (the parent) to easily recognize it as your ss most people (esp. those that do not run their own business) do not know that it should/would be your ss#. Tell then this is the number the IRS needs to claim day care expenses on your taxes and leave it at that it is NOT lying.
Sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying.
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Tags:ein, irs, license - exempt
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