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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Am I Overreacting?
MommaB3 12:27 PM 03-17-2014
So I posted on Friday about my DCM who was getting off early and going to go shopping, etc. instead of coming to get her kids. My husband was at his sisters house and he was complaining to her about how he can't believe people who just don't come get their kids when they're not working. His mom was there as well and both of them couldn't believe he was getting upset about it. They see no problem with a mother getting off work at 3:00 and doing some shopping and going home to put the groceries away and then coming to get their kids at 5:15. (I close at 5:30.) They say she's getting paid for it.

So it got us thinking...are we overreacting about this? Is it the norm for parents to be able to leave their kids in DC as long as they want as long as they pick up before closing time?

To me this just drives me crazy! I have no problem working for parents when they are actually working but I do not want to be a babysitter while the mom is grocery shopping or whatever.

Also is it acceptable to put in a contract that I don't want to watch their children outside of their working hours especially without at least running it by me first? Any particular ways of wording this?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:30 PM 03-17-2014
I think it is SAD for the kids that never get to get of of daycare early to spend time with their parents but this is not a battle I choose.

Drop your child off at opening time and pick up by pick-up time, please. That's all I ask for.
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Scribbles 12:31 PM 03-17-2014
As a babysitter, I have NO issues with what a parent is doing while I am being paid to watch their child.

As a professional child care provider, I feel that my job is to provide care while a parent is working. If they want to take care of personal things (shopping, hair appts etc) then they can hire a babysitter for those times.

I know parents don't see the difference in those two things, but I do. I make sure I am clear about that when I interview so parents know NOT to leave their children from open to close with me. I feel it is disrespectful to treat a paid professional as a personal nanny service.
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Meyou 12:36 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I think it is SAD for the kids that never get to get of of daycare early to spend time with their parents but this is not a battle I choose.

Drop your child off at opening time and pick up by pick-up time, please. That's all I ask for.
This.

You might want to consider contracted hours. I know there are a couple of providers that provide care based on work hours plus a reasonable commuting window.
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Unregistered 12:38 PM 03-17-2014
It doesn't really bother me. I get that its easier to run errands without kids. When I was working, I remember having no time to do stuff like that, and I found it extremely difficult to do anything with my kids. If I can make the lives of my parents easier, and it doesn't really affect me, I will.

That said, I had a family last year. DCD was in construction and got laid off for the season. He brought his kid every single day. First drop off, last pick up. Even on her birthday. THAT bothered me. And if it wasn't for the fact that she was going on mat leave and leaving anyway, I would have insisted on a early pick up.
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Play Care 12:45 PM 03-17-2014
It depends.
Is the mom late for scheduled pick up? Does she send the child in with "iffy" health because she doesn't have time? Is the child poorly behaved? Does mom give me a hard time about being off?

If the answer was no, I probably wouldn't mind. If the answer to any of the above was yes, I would have a firm talk with the parent and move to replace.

I set my closing time at 4:45 so I tend to be more relaxed about it - mostly because I'm not losing out on family time due to a later closure.
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Sugar Magnolia 12:50 PM 03-17-2014
I have some non-working moms who bring their children here ONLY for socialization and so they can have some personal time. I'd be out about $400 a week if I subscribed to the "only when at work" theory. I have 2 more parents that work from home, and that's another $350 a week I'd lose. Personally, I am open 730 to 530, and if the child is here those hours, then they're here. I don't worry about where parents are or what they are doing. But that's me. I do understand your frustration though.

So if a parent wanted to enroll and did not work, would you really turn them away? Just curious.....
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Heidi 12:54 PM 03-17-2014
I have contracted hours, so as long as they come and go within that time, I'm fine with it.

Occasionally, I have a parent who asks "can my child stay a little late so I can....". Sure..if it works for me. Do I think my dcm really wants to take an 8 month old baby to the vet along with her 90 pound bulldog? Probably not. How about when she gets her hair colored and cut once every 8 weeks? No...he'd scream his bloody head off half way in, and she's a single mom with no family close by. I don't mind. She has always asked.

My other dcm picks up at noon on Fridays, but on a Friday when they were going out of town, I let dcg stay late (during nap time) so mom could go home and pack. What's the difference to me?

On the other hand, this is the same mom that takes days off here and there just so she can spend a day with her baby, because she misses him.

My worst behaved dck's were here every contracted hour no matter what. Days off, they were here. Why? Because they were just ill-behaved children,their own mom didn't want to spend time with them....hence, they were ill behaved.

I guess it's about balance, providing good customer service, and communicating.
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cara041083 01:28 PM 03-17-2014
I am on the fence about this one. I have a mom that will keep her kids home (and still pay for the spot) but will get off early and get her stuff done before coming to get her kids at 4. So I guess it just depends on the person. I for one have left my kids at daycare long enough to go to the store but I never went home first before getting them and that was when my husband traveled and I had 3 kids to drag along with me. Now if a parent is just bringing them and then going and doing there own thing everyday, then that I have a problem with. I actually termed a family that only worked 1 day a week and brought there daughter to me all the other days. So I can see both sides
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taylorw1210 01:38 PM 03-17-2014
I'm here to offer children a safe and enriching environment - whether the parent is at work or not is not really my business. As long as they follow my policies, have their priorities straight (don't bring a sick kid so they can go shopping or have personal time, etc.), and drop off/pick up as contracted then I don't really care what they do.
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sharlan 01:42 PM 03-17-2014
I'm paid the same, regardless.

I don't care where the parent is as long as they drop off/pick up on time.

I hated the fact that my children were at daycare when I worked so I never even dropped by the grocery store before picking up my kids.
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Oss_cc 01:58 PM 03-17-2014
The reasons I am against it (on a regular basis; once in awhile I'm fine with it as long as they let me know so I can reach them in case of emergency):

1. The kids who have parents that do this on a *regular* basis are nearly always the most misbehaved kids.

2. Taking kids with you to the store and other public places teaches them what is expected of them in public. Again, comes down to how often this happens.

3. The parent who I had that did this often was the only parent who would "lose track of time" and show up at 5:30 on the dot, then take 15 mins getting her kid out the door (until I started handing DCG off before she could even knock).

Just my opinion and (limited) experience. Plus, even though I was "open", I felt (probably unjustifiably) resentful when DCM would talk about needing "me" time. She got "me" time weekly while I watched her DD. The last time I had "me" time as a mom with two kids? Who knows? Lol
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spud912 02:04 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
It depends.
Is the mom late for scheduled pick up? Does she send the child in with "iffy" health because she doesn't have time? Is the child poorly behaved? Does mom give me a hard time about being off?

If the answer was no, I probably wouldn't mind. If the answer to any of the above was yes, I would have a firm talk with the parent and move to replace.

I set my closing time at 4:45 so I tend to be more relaxed about it - mostly because I'm not losing out on family time due to a later closure.
This is me. I've had moms dropping their kids off for 8-10 hours per day for socialization and it never bothered me whatsoever because they treated me with respect and they were overall good parents. Then I've had parents who always tried to argue my policies and generally lacked respect for me or the other families and then would drop their kids off on their days off. It especially becomes problematic when they are too busy to take care of their child when he or she is sick, despite being off of work.
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MissAnn 02:20 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by Oss_cc:
The reasons I am against it (on a regular basis; once in awhile I'm fine with it as long as they let me know so I can reach them in case of emergency):

1. The kids who have parents that do this on a *regular* basis are nearly always the most misbehaved kids.

2. Taking kids with you to the store and other public places teaches them what is expected of them in public. Again, comes down to how often this happens.

3. The parent who I had that did this often was the only parent who would "lose track of time" and show up at 5:30 on the dot, then take 15 mins getting her kid out the door (until I started handing DCG off before she could even knock).

Just my opinion and (limited) experience. Plus, even though I was "open", I felt (probably unjustifiably) resentful when DCM would talk about needing "me" time. She got "me" time weekly while I watched her DD. The last time I had "me" time as a mom with two kids? Who knows? Lol
Yes! Especially # 1! I Have a new kid who is driving me crazy. First to get dropped off and last to leave. Dad picks son up at 3:15 at the elementary school then doesn't pick up his daughter here till 5:00. All kids have been gone for 30 minutes. She is here over 9.5 hours per day. I am mentally drained at the end of tell day because she talks nonstop.
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MommaB3 02:28 PM 03-17-2014
Thanks for all the responses. I just wanted to know what others thought. I just wish parents would ask first before assuming I have kids here all day and nothing better to do. Most of the time I don't care but this particular day she knew her kids were the only ones here past 12:30 and she still kept them here.

I know I need to build a 'backbone' and stick up for myself in this industry as no one else is going to but this is the part I struggle with the most.
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Oss_cc 02:34 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Yes! Especially # 1! I Have a new kid who is driving me crazy. First to get dropped off and last to leave. Dad picks son up at 3:15 at the elementary school then doesn't pick up his daughter here till 5:00. All kids have been gone for 30 minutes. She is here over 9.5 hours per day. I am mentally drained at the end of tell day because she talks nonstop.
Yep! And sad if she knows her brother is home with dad. :/ that was tough for me because I couldn't say "sorry, mommy is at work" like I can when the other DCKs miss their parents. They usually don't, but she did more than any other kid. I honestly think it was because she knew mommy wasn't anywhere she *had* to be. :/
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Oss_cc 02:39 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by MommaB3:
Thanks for all the responses. I just wanted to know what others thought. I just wish parents would ask first before assuming I have kids here all day and nothing better to do. Most of the time I don't care but this particular day she knew her kids were the only ones here past 12:30 and she still kept them here.

I know I need to build a 'backbone' and stick up for myself in this industry as no one else is going to but this is the part I struggle with the most.
That's the tough part! I know a lot of providers won't provide care if only one family needs it, but considering I only have two full time families (siblings), I haven't implemented this myself. It's a good idea, though!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 03:09 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by MommaB3:
Thanks for all the responses. I just wanted to know what others thought. I just wish parents would ask first before assuming I have kids here all day and nothing better to do. Most of the time I don't care but this particular day she knew her kids were the only ones here past 12:30 and she still kept them here.

I know I need to build a 'backbone' and stick up for myself in this industry as no one else is going to but this is the part I struggle with the most.
Then tell her it is a halfday if you want it!
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e.j. 06:45 PM 03-17-2014
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I'm paid the same, regardless.

I don't care where the parent is as long as they drop off/pick up on time.

I hated the fact that my children were at daycare when I worked so I never even dropped by the grocery store before picking up my kids.
Same here. When my son was in day care, I picked him up early when I left work early and I kept him home with me anytime I wasn't working. Different strokes for different folks, though.

I look at it this way: I run a child care business and as long as the parent picks up, drops off and pays tuition on time, I don't consider it my business what they're doing within that time frame as long as I can reach them in an emergency.

I think it is acceptable to include a clause in your contract that states you will not watch children outside of work hours. You can pretty much include any policy you want as long as it's legal. The trick is getting parents to agree to it. You may (or may not) lose clients because of the no work/no care rule but if it's important to you, I would say include it. Just discuss it during interviews to make sure the parent understands and agrees to the policy.
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TwinKristi 08:04 PM 03-17-2014
^^ this is pretty much my opinion exactly. As long as I can get ahold of them and they pickup and pay on time I don't really care what they're doing. But that's not for everyone. As someone else pointed out, a lot of their clients are W/SAHMs.
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craftymissbeth 08:22 PM 03-17-2014
I used to care but now I try not to let it bother me. I base my rates on pick-up times to encourage parents to pick up earlier. So far all of my parents have chosen the earliest time they possibly can so they can save a few dollars a week. All of them come straight here after work. I don't have any dck's past 3:45 which is so nice... even if their parents are home a few days a week I at least get off pretty early, kwim?
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Play Care 03:13 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Yes! Especially # 1! I Have a new kid who is driving me crazy. First to get dropped off and last to leave. Dad picks son up at 3:15 at the elementary school then doesn't pick up his daughter here till 5:00. All kids have been gone for 30 minutes. She is here over 9.5 hours per day. I am mentally drained at the end of tell day because she talks nonstop.
I refuse to be open for ONE child. Yes, this is a business, but it doesn't make business sense. If my grocery store realized that they just had ONE customer after a certain hour, they would adjust their closing time accordingly. If I were you I'd either raise my rates for an after 4:30 pick up or let the one family know that as of x date you will be closing promptly at 4:30 as it's not financially feasible to be open for ONE family
This has nothing to do with your personal feelings, this is business.
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KidGrind 04:27 AM 03-18-2014
You feel what you feel. You are entitled to your opinion.

Your contract dictates whether you are overreacting or not. Your interview process dictates whether or not you’re overreacting.

I interviewed a DCF with two working parents. One of the DCPs quit their job. DCK is here 5 days a week. DCP also complains if I schedule a closing and tries to bring her child on snow days.

Am I her biggest fan? No. I love, love, love the child. I get paid to take care of him. So it’s a win, win for me. If he was difficult maybe I would be in the same canoe as you.
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Meeko 07:07 AM 03-18-2014
While it amazes me that today's parents seem to find it impossible to handle chores and kids at the same time.....and want to spend as little time with their offspring as humanly possible........I am open certain days and hours and they are free to use that time as long as they pay me and follow my policies.
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4bratzmum 07:42 AM 03-18-2014
Soooo, I posted a similar thread last week and got so many great responses that really helped. My situation was a parent that was converting from 5 days to 3 days a week work schedule but still wanted to bring children all five days. Oh and the 3 days she worked, she wanted me to watch them outside my hours! Mom does not see the kids awake in her working days. :-( Why would she even want to bring them on her days off?

My two cents... I don't understand the parents that have these children and not want to have every moment possible with them. Not for me to understand... Yes, I get paid to do a job but that doesn't mean I agree. I guess it depends on your personal preferences and how you choose to run your daycare. I just gave my parents their ultimatum... Bring the children all five days at an increased rate or the 3 working days and pay remains the same or give two weeks notice. I am sorry that she needs her hair colored but if she wants after hours care, she will pay extra for it. :-)

Sorry for the rant. LOL This is a major pet peeve for me.
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Blackcat31 08:03 AM 03-18-2014
This is where the thorough interview process has helped me out a lot.

I am a business. I am in this business to make money.

I try to enroll families that share the same parenting philosophy as I do.
That cuts down on the amount of "babysitting" I do.


Normally, I don't care if a parent contracts with me 5 days a week so they can go home and watch mold grow in their shower. That's on them.

Just so long as:


1.) Payment is on time
2.) Drop off/pick up is according to contract
3.) Follow policies


The only thing I will not do, is accept a parent simply leaving their child until close "because other kids are still here until then".

THAT is NOT acceptable and does not happen here.

Hence, the contracted hours. What parents do within their contracted hours is totally their call. Just abide by those 3 little rules and it's all good.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 08:21 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by MommaB3:
So I posted on Friday about my DCM who was getting off early and going to go shopping, etc. instead of coming to get her kids. My husband was at his sisters house and he was complaining to her about how he can't believe people who just don't come get their kids when they're not working. His mom was there as well and both of them couldn't believe he was getting upset about it. They see no problem with a mother getting off work at 3:00 and doing some shopping and going home to put the groceries away and then coming to get their kids at 5:15. (I close at 5:30.) They say she's getting paid for it.

So it got us thinking...are we overreacting about this? Is it the norm for parents to be able to leave their kids in DC as long as they want as long as they pick up before closing time?

To me this just drives me crazy! I have no problem working for parents when they are actually working but I do not want to be a babysitter while the mom is grocery shopping or whatever.

Also is it acceptable to put in a contract that I don't want to watch their children outside of their working hours especially without at least running it by me first? Any particular ways of wording this?
I do mind, and it does bother me. A lot. I don't understand it, and I certainly don't respect it. But.....................I won't be doing anything about it. Unless you do contracted hours, this is the way it will be. I continually have to remind myself that I can't control the DCFs desire to spend time with their kids, but I can control my reaction to said lack of desire (as in ignore it to the best of my ability).

When a DCM/DCD does tell me they've been shopping/golfing/cleaning/anything to avoid picking up, I say "how sad you had to do such and such and couldn't be with DCB/DCG." Then I give that DCB/DCG a big hug and tell them something that was special about them that day. Maybe DCM/DCD get the hint, maybe not. IDC. At least DCG/DCB feels *someone* wanted to hang out with them, even if they are being paid to do so.
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Tdhmom 08:25 AM 03-18-2014
I'm so glad you've posted this. I need this advice today. I have an overnight child in first grade (same class as my son) and found out last night that dcm wasn't working, seen pics of her at the bar for st patty's day. I'm very upset and feel taken advantage of
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countrymom 08:33 AM 03-18-2014
when I interview parents I tell them that I'm here to watch their children while they are at work. Now I do have some parents who sometimes have to do things after work, but they always let me know and I never have a problem with it.

you see, I had 2 moms who liked to leave their kids here all day. Mom #1 was a nurse, I knew here schedual and her husbands. At first they would pick up after work, then it was dropping off early and picking up late, then they also forgot to pick up their child several times. Then it was dropping him off so she can put a christmas tree, or crochet a project.

then mom#2 was suppose to be at school instead would go tanning or get her nails and hair done, again waiting till the last minute to pick up.

both parents suddenly gave me a hard time when I needed the day off, would complain all the time about their kids and would relay on others all the time to do the work instead of them.

thats when I had enough and the only way I was going to stop this self entitlement was for me to make parents responsible, one parent at a time. I find that I don't get angry anymore and my relationship with them are pretty good.
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MarinaVanessa 08:45 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by MommaB3:
So I posted on Friday about my DCM who was getting off early and going to go shopping, etc. instead of coming to get her kids. My husband was at his sisters house and he was complaining to her about how he can't believe people who just don't come get their kids when they're not working. His mom was there as well and both of them couldn't believe he was getting upset about it. They see no problem with a mother getting off work at 3:00 and doing some shopping and going home to put the groceries away and then coming to get their kids at 5:15. (I close at 5:30.) They say she's getting paid for it.

So it got us thinking...are we overreacting about this? Is it the norm for parents to be able to leave their kids in DC as long as they want as long as they pick up before closing time?

To me this just drives me crazy! I have no problem working for parents when they are actually working but I do not want to be a babysitter while the mom is grocery shopping or whatever.

Also is it acceptable to put in a contract that I don't want to watch their children outside of their working hours especially without at least running it by me first? Any particular ways of wording this?
What I find confusing and a little "have your cake and eat it too" is when providers charge for a child's scheduled hours and then get upset when parents want to "get their moneys worth" and leave their child until pick-up time even when they're not working.

I know providers that don't have that problem but they only charge their clients for the time they actually use. Their clients leave work and pick their kids up early when they have the chance because they can save money whereas my clients for example are charged a flat weekly rate and hardly ever pick up early because they paid for the spot so they feel (I assume) that they'd be wasting their money.

I also choose not to fight this battle. I prefer the consistent regular income than charge only for the hours that clients use and have an inconsistent income. Also, I personally wouldn't feel right charging clients a flat fee and require them to pick up early if they weren't working. I wouldn't feel right charging them and then not allowing them to use that time if they weren't working/at school.
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Cat Herder 08:56 AM 03-18-2014
I have open to close hours and have accepted that I will have kids for almost every minute of it. It is the norm. All are here within 5 minutes of opening, like clockwork. I close at 6pm, first kid leaves at 5:45 (because mom freaks with too many cars in the driveway) last group (3 families) pulls out at 5:59.

All start out claiming an earlier pick-up time on their sign up forms (usually 4:30-5:00) , but that ends within the first month. Most claim "work hours changed", some are honest and say they like having child free time to complete tasks each afternoon, others never address it at all, just start coming later and later until last minute is the norm.

It does help my bottom line with an elevated time/space percentage.

One mom recently brought her kids on a day when no other kids were coming AND she was off work because she was excited her kids would have "special one on one time" with ME. Um, ok.... the kids prefer having bonding time with me when she is home for the day? This is new. Mom was giddy at "all the fun things the kids and you can do with no infants in care for the day". She was seriously excited, had the kids wound up, like is was a trip to a theme park. I am still breaking this one down a bit in my head...

I was educated that not every woman has children because they want CHILDREN, so I conclude that is why we see the things we see in child care.
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AmyLeigh 10:11 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
What I find confusing and a little "have your cake and eat it too" is when providers charge for a child's scheduled hours and then get upset when parents want to "get their moneys worth" and leave their child until pick-up time even when they're not working.
I know providers that don't have that problem but they only charge their clients for the time they actually use. Their clients leave work and pick their kids up early when they have the chance because they can save money whereas my clients for example are charged a flat weekly rate and hardly ever pick up early because they paid for the spot so they feel (I assume) that they'd be wasting their money.

I also choose not to fight this battle. I prefer the consistent regular income than charge only for the hours that clients use and have an inconsistent income. Also, I personally wouldn't feel right charging clients a flat fee and require them to pick up early if they weren't working. I wouldn't feel right charging them and then not allowing them to use that time if they weren't working/at school.

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Play Care 10:20 AM 03-18-2014
I think a big part of the issue is that there are many times the provider IS being taken advantage of - parents who claim they need later PU times or special hours (overnights, weekends) because of work, so the provider agrees to it, only to find the parent isn't working and the provider doesn't really need to be working.

This is one of the main reasons I will not, ever, ever, ever work evenings or weekends. It's why my hours are what they are and why I won't ever be open later for a family no matter what they claim the reason to be.

I think it's okay to tell clients "these hours are no longer working for me, so as of x date my hours will be x to x"
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melilley 11:21 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
I do mind, and it does bother me. A lot. I don't understand it, and I certainly don't respect it. But.....................I won't be doing anything about it. Unless you do contracted hours, this is the way it will be. I continually have to remind myself that I can't control the DCFs desire to spend time with their kids, but I can control my reaction to said lack of desire (as in ignore it to the best of my ability).

.
This is me. I'm trying to get into the mindset that I shouldn't care, but it's hard, especially for one dcf. Their child is here every day dcm has off, even when his preschool aged brother is at home. They made Christmas cookies with grandma and guess who didn't get to participate or at least spend some extra time with family.
It's sad and like others have said they do pay for contracted hours here but it still bothers me. I guess I just don't get why they wouldn't want that extra time. It's like they don't like him, and he's an easy kid! I too try to push my feelings aside, but it's hard.
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Jack Sprat 11:40 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by Meeko:
While it amazes me that today's parents seem to find it impossible to handle chores and kids at the same time.....and want to spend as little time with their offspring as humanly possible........I am open certain days and hours and they are free to use that time as long as they pay me and follow my policies.
I work on contracted hours and as long as I am paid I don't mind. I had one dcm tell me she couldn't handle going grocery shopping with her 3yr old, it was just too stressful. and went on to tell me she was exhausted after working six hours at Head Start and was going home to take a nap. So many sarcastic remarks floated through my head during that conversation.
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melilley 11:49 AM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by Meeko:
While it amazes me that today's parents seem to find it impossible to handle chores and kids at the same time.....and want to spend as little time with their offspring as humanly possible........I am open certain days and hours and they are free to use that time as long as they pay me and follow my policies.
I wonder how we get anything done..it's a mystery!
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Blackcat31 12:02 PM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
This is me. I'm trying to get into the mindset that I shouldn't care, but it's hard, especially for one dcf. Their child is here every day dcm has off, even when his preschool aged brother is at home. They made Christmas cookies with grandma and guess who didn't get to participate or at least spend some extra time with family.
It's sad and like others have said they do pay for contracted hours here but it still bothers me. I guess I just don't get why they wouldn't want that extra time. It's like they don't like him, and he's an easy kid! I too try to push my feelings aside, but it's hard.
It's not that you shouldn't care but you will save yourself a ton of grief and stress if you recognize and accept that not everyone holds the same values as you (general you) do.

People stress other people out when their behavior doesn't mirror what they would do in the same position. THAT is the root of why this subject bothers you.... You are applying YOUR philosophies and parenting values onto others.

Save yourself the time and stress and give yourself permission to accept the fact that ALL humans do what is best for them.

I know there are others out there who do not like cauliflower. I don't understand why and I definitely feel sorry for them in regards to what they are missing out on but I certainly don't stress about it or allow it to be MY problem.

^^^ Same concept.
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My3cents 12:15 PM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by Scribbles:
As a babysitter, I have NO issues with what a parent is doing while I am being paid to watch their child.

As a professional child care provider, I feel that my job is to provide care while a parent is working. If they want to take care of personal things (shopping, hair appts etc) then they can hire a babysitter for those times.

I know parents don't see the difference in those two things, but I do. I make sure I am clear about that when I interview so parents know NOT to leave their children from open to close with me. I feel it is disrespectful to treat a paid professional as a personal nanny service.

I don't know about disrespectful but I think it stinks for the kids, and is lazy, no parenting. but......you have to make this clear at interviews.
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TwinKristi 12:21 PM 03-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It's not that you shouldn't care but you will save yourself a ton of grief and stress if you recognize and accept that not everyone holds the same values as you (general you) do.

People stress other people out when their behavior doesn't mirror what they would do in the same position. THAT is the root of why this subject bothers you.... You are applying YOUR philosophies and parenting values onto others.

Save yourself the time and stress and give yourself permission to accept the fact that ALL humans do what is best for them.

I know there are others out there who do not like cauliflower. I don't understand why and I definitely feel sorry for them in regards to what they are missing out on but I certainly don't stress about it or allow it to be MY problem.

^^^ Same concept.
This is really what it boils down to. Like the ear piercing thread. Just because you wouldn't do it for your child doesn't mean that's what the other parents think and its not our job to tell them how to parent, it's our job to provide quality care when we're paid and contracted to do so. As long as they pay, come within their contracted times and obey your rules than there's really nothing you can do but term and find a new family.

And it amazes me sometimes when parents just "Can't get anything done with their child home" yet we're expected to run our household, family, etc. with not only our own kids but several others! LOL I have had to go grocery shopping with 2 extra kids in the big Target shopping cart, I've had to take 2 extra kids to the dr with us when my dh couldn't take off work, I've had to clean my house with extra kids here. All the things people pay me to take care of their kids so they can do. It's like once they have a good provider and their child is happy they think it's a free pass to keep them there as long as they're happy and you're being paid.

One way to look at it, which I never did until a grandmother pointed it out, is that some parents may look at your home as a happier environment than their own home. When DCB is here and is happy, he's surrounded by other kids, happy adults and a clean home. Maybe their home life isn't like it is at our home. DCB eats better here, sleeps better here... even his early intervention case manager said it's like he's a different child here. I never looked at it that way until I put it all together. His mom is a single mom, they live with her mom, uncle and grandpa. They have people in their home for therapy so I'm guessing it can't be TOO bad, but I imagine it's on the messier side. I know there's boxes the nana hasn't touched in years that have her son's items who passed away like 15-16yrs ago at the age of 8 or 9. Everyone has a different point of view in this life and we don't know why they feel that way. Some people want to suck every last penny out of their dollar in your care, some truly feel you're a better provider than they are for their child, some are just too busy to be bothered with diapers and runny noses when shopping.
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DaisyMamma 11:02 AM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by Meyou:
This.

You might want to consider contracted hours. I know there are a couple of providers that provide care based on work hours plus a reasonable commuting window.
I do try to find out what hours the parents work before they ask what my hours are. I then repeat what they tell me, oh so you need care from x time to x time? And that's what I write on their paperwork.
It irritates me that parents will get a day off and still send their kid, or get out early and go shop. But if it's during their contacted hours that I'm getting paid for I can't say anything, kwim?

Listen to this one.
I had a parent leave work early to go home and make a cake for some play her daughter was in that night. Mind you, the daughter was here with me and they live a mile away. How sad is that? Don't you think the dcg would have liked to help bake that cake? And to top it off the dcm picked her up with only enough time to get her straight to the school that evening -- sooooo, what? No dinner? Yep! No dinner.
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melilley 11:10 AM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It's not that you shouldn't care but you will save yourself a ton of grief and stress if you recognize and accept that not everyone holds the same values as you (general you) do.

People stress other people out when their behavior doesn't mirror what they would do in the same position. THAT is the root of why this subject bothers you.... You are applying YOUR philosophies and parenting values onto others.

Save yourself the time and stress and give yourself permission to accept the fact that ALL humans do what is best for them.

I know there are others out there who do not like cauliflower. I don't understand why and I definitely feel sorry for them in regards to what they are missing out on but I certainly don't stress about it or allow it to be MY problem.

^^^ Same concept.
I know, Bc, I know...it's just so darn hard for me to do, but I really am trying!
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Naptime yet? 02:23 PM 03-19-2014
When I first started, I cared. Now, if a child gets picked up early, or doesn't come, I look at it as a bonus. Otherwise I assume everyone will be here for the full 10 hour day regardless of what the rest of the family is/isn't doing. Plus there are so many other things that drive me crazy, this has become inconsequential.
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SilverSabre25 02:53 PM 03-19-2014
only thing that bugs me is if parents are LATE. also, if they are unwilling to keep sick kids home, etc.

otherwise....I don't care. I get paid. whatevs.
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Crazy8 03:14 PM 03-19-2014
Yes, I do believe you are overreacting (since that was your actual question). You are saying the parent will still pick up 15 min. before their end time/your closing time and you are getting paid to care for the children until 5:30 whether she picks them up early or not. There are parents who will squeeze out every second of daycare that they can and it is sad for the children in those cases but imo, it is just not our place to say what a parent can and can not do during the hours they are contracted for care. And in the case of a mom just getting a little grocery shopping done before picking up the kids (and still being on time) I can't say I blame them, I longed for the times I could get to the grocery store by myself when my kids were little.

I gave up sweating that type of thing years ago and it has helped my stress level a great deal. I plan on working my usual 7:30-5:00 every day and if I get the "bonus" of an early day I just take full advantage and enjoy it!!
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hwichlaz 03:36 PM 03-19-2014
I do contracted hours, and what the parents are doing is none of my business as long as I can get in touch with them if necessary.

THOUGH, I did terminated one family because the mom was getting off work early to go sleep with her boyfriend. She was married. I will NOT be used that way.
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Atroya 12:42 PM 03-21-2014
A lot of great comments! It happens to me too, irritating, but they pay a flat weekly rate, so I can't complain.

Another thing to consider, at least in my case, is that I live in a small town, and all of my parents commute to work to the large city about 15 minutes away. If they get off work early, it is completely understandable that they might have errands to run in town before they come home. It is more convenient time and gas wise for them to do it before they head home. As long as they pick up by 5:30, it is ok with me. Even if I lived in the city, if I knew the grocery store was on their way home from work, it would be understandable that they would want to stop by there on their way home, just out of convenience of not having to go back out once they get home. Sometimes it is not about not having the kids with them, it is just about convenience time/travel/gas wise.
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