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Old 04-09-2015, 11:38 AM
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Default Looking For A Way Out

I have been feeling very torn lately. This is only my 2nd year in, and I am now looking for an exit strategy. I started my daycare with the goals of 1) being able to continue staying home with my kids & homeschooling, and 2) making enough money to begin really paying down our debts.

Between the start-up costs, daily daycare expenses like paper towels, toilet paper, paper plates, food, etc., and paying for constant training to comply with licensing regulations, I have actually pushed my family deeper into debt this past year rather than making a profit. It makes me sick to think of how much I have put into this, and yet I've barely made a dime. There are so many other providers in my area, I have had the same 3 kids the whole year. There's a lot of competition.

Homeschooling has become way more of a chore and much less fun & hands-on than it used to be. This is due mostly to the fact that I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open to help the kids with their lessons during quiet time, much less plan engaging lessons for them.

There is so much pressure coming from the parents and the state, and this is such a thankless job, I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't know how people manage to do this for years and years, but I tip my hat to those of you that do. You all must be made of stronger stuff than me.

My goal now is to somehow get to the point where I can close. I want to focus my time on my own family & kids; I hate that I spend 10+ hours a day giving my very best to other people's kids, and my own family gets the worst of me at the end of each day. I have a VERY big issue with being told what to do in my own home; I have very different views on education & child development than the state education department does (which oversees our daycare licensing), which is one reason why I chose to homeschool my own kids in the first place. I still feel a responsibility to my daycare kids & their parents, and I know I am going to feel incredibly, heart-wrenchingly guilty for closing -- but maybe that's part of my problem. Maybe my personality is just not cut out for this. I do not like to feel like a fish in a bowl, under constant scrutiny and evaluation by other parents.

Someone please tell me I'm not alone. Someone please tell me I'm not being selfish in wanting to do what I feel is best for my family. I certainly know my dc parents always do what's best for their own families, so why do I feel guilty for feeling that closing my daycare is what's best for mine? One of my families told me at the interview that I was such a blessing to them bc they couldn't find anyone else in my school district who could take both of their kids (no one with both an infant & school-age spot). My closing will put them in a bind, and while I know that's not my problem, I still can't help feeling guilty for it. Sigh.
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Old 04-09-2015, 11:44 AM
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I think you should do what is best for your family and not feel guilty. You say there is plenty of competition and that means there are plenty of places for your family to turn if needed. I guess I don't see how that puts them in a bind, if there are plenty of places to turn.
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Old 04-09-2015, 11:47 AM
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It really is sad that the people who are responsible for taking care of the most important people get paid so little. I am only in it to be home with my kids but like you, I am feeling done. It truly is one of the worst jobs and this is what I chose for a career.

Anyway good luck
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:02 PM
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Does your state allow unlicensed care at all? All of the reasons you posted are why I've chosen to stay legally unlicensed. It's less children, less headache, and I don't want to live in the fish bowl you've described of being constantly under scrunity, not just from parents but from the state as well. I could make more by becoming licensed and having more children but *my* personality can't handle more than 3 at a time! I get over whelmed and frustrated, so I don't want any more than my 3.

I'm so sorry YOURE having such a terrible time with daycare. I know I have days where I wanna throw in the towel too but it sounds like you just need to move on completely. Don't worry about your daycare families, worry about YOUR family and let them worry about their own families. It's not your responsibility to make sure their children have daycare. They managed before you, and they'll manage after! ;-)
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by AuntTami View Post
Does your state allow unlicensed care at all? All of the reasons you posted are why I've chosen to stay legally unlicensed. It's less children, less headache, and I don't want to live in the fish bowl you've described of being constantly under scrunity, not just from parents but from the state as well. I could make more by becoming licensed and having more children but *my* personality can't handle more than 3 at a time! I get over whelmed and frustrated, so I don't want any more than my 3.

I'm so sorry YOURE having such a terrible time with daycare. I know I have days where I wanna throw in the towel too but it sounds like you just need to move on completely. Don't worry about your daycare families, worry about YOUR family and let them worry about their own families. It's not your responsibility to make sure their children have daycare. They managed before you, and they'll manage after! ;-)
No, in MD you must be licensed. And the regulations are very specific and expensive to keep up with.
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:38 PM
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I feel the same way. I've only been at this three months, but I left my job so I could spend more time with my daughter and even though I'm with her all the time, I feel like I see her less. The day is spent trying to keep the other kids happy and entertained, my evenings are spent cleaning up the messes from the day and prepping for the next. Licensing is awful with all of their regulations and just when you think you've done something right, they tell you it's not good enough and you need something different but they don't offer any suggestions as to what to use.
I'm so ready to go back to my old job, I feel like a terrible mom. That or I need to go legally unlicensed and maybe rethink my age groups/target clients.
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntTami View Post
Does your state allow unlicensed care at all? All of the reasons you posted are why I've chosen to stay legally unlicensed. It's less children, less headache, and I don't want to live in the fish bowl you've described of being constantly under scrunity, not just from parents but from the state as well. I could make more by becoming licensed and having more children but *my* personality can't handle more than 3 at a time! I get over whelmed and frustrated, so I don't want any more than my 3.

I'm so sorry YOURE having such a terrible time with daycare. I know I have days where I wanna throw in the towel too but it sounds like you just need to move on completely. Don't worry about your daycare families, worry about YOUR family and let them worry about their own families. It's not your responsibility to make sure their children have daycare. They managed before you, and they'll manage after! ;-)
Exactly why I am legally unlicensed. To much stuff from the state that really doesn't help anything.
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:52 PM
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I feel the same way. I've only been at this three months, but I left my job so I could spend more time with my daughter and even though I'm with her all the time, I feel like I see her less. The day is spent trying to keep the other kids happy and entertained, my evenings are spent cleaning up the messes from the day and prepping for the next. Licensing is awful with all of their regulations and just when you think you've done something right, they tell you it's not good enough and you need something different but they don't offer any suggestions as to what to use.
I'm so ready to go back to my old job, I feel like a terrible mom. That or I need to go legally unlicensed and maybe rethink my age groups/target clients.
I would never have put myself through MD's insane licensing process if I had had the option to go legally unlicensed. Never. I spent so much money and stressed so much over it.
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by hsdcmama View Post
No, in MD you must be licensed. And the regulations are very specific and expensive to keep up with.
I was already homeschooling in MD when I decided to start my childcare; saw the rules and was looking for a house, but ultimately I went over the border lol. It was easier to get licensed in WV... just do what you need for the family.

I'm redoing my postpartum doula certification (I dropped my cert 6 years ago) so I can quit childcare in the next 2 years. I love my daycare babies, but now that I've been an empty nester for 4 years, it's time to get back into the real world. I can set my own hrs still AND earn more per hr than what I do now. Best part, I still get to care for babies
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Old 04-09-2015, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hsdcmama View Post
I would never have put myself through MD's insane licensing process if I had had the option to go legally unlicensed. Never. I spent so much money and stressed so much over it.
BE DONE. Seriously. You're unhappy, your family is too. Just give your notice and be done. I'd be finding some other income ASAP. And did it once upon a time...because I was in your shoes. I won't go back to owning a daycare. I do help in the nursery at church as I still like kids and want to help, but no more of the headaches that come with your own business.
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Old 04-09-2015, 03:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hsdcmama View Post
I have been feeling very torn lately. This is only my 2nd year in, and I am now looking for an exit strategy. I started my daycare with the goals of 1) being able to continue staying home with my kids & homeschooling, and 2) making enough money to begin really paying down our debts.

Between the start-up costs, daily daycare expenses like paper towels, toilet paper, paper plates, food, etc., and paying for constant training to comply with licensing regulations, I have actually pushed my family deeper into debt this past year rather than making a profit. It makes me sick to think of how much I have put into this, and yet I've barely made a dime. There are so many other providers in my area, I have had the same 3 kids the whole year. There's a lot of competition.

Homeschooling has become way more of a chore and much less fun & hands-on than it used to be. This is due mostly to the fact that I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open to help the kids with their lessons during quiet time, much less plan engaging lessons for them.
There is so much pressure coming from the parents and the state, and this is such a thankless job, I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't know how people manage to do this for years and years, but I tip my hat to those of you that do. You all must be made of stronger stuff than me.

My goal now is to somehow get to the point where I can close. I want to focus my time on my own family & kids; I hate that I spend 10+ hours a day giving my very best to other people's kids, and my own family gets the worst of me at the end of each day. I have a VERY big issue with being told what to do in my own home; I have very different views on education & child development than the state education department does (which oversees our daycare licensing), which is one reason why I chose to homeschool my own kids in the first place. I still feel a responsibility to my daycare kids & their parents, and I know I am going to feel incredibly, heart-wrenchingly guilty for closing -- but maybe that's part of my problem. Maybe my personality is just not cut out for this. I do not like to feel like a fish in a bowl, under constant scrutiny and evaluation by other parents.

Someone please tell me I'm not alone. Someone please tell me I'm not being selfish in wanting to do what I feel is best for my family. I certainly know my dc parents always do what's best for their own families, so why do I feel guilty for feeling that closing my daycare is what's best for mine? One of my families told me at the interview that I was such a blessing to them bc they couldn't find anyone else in my school district who could take both of their kids (no one with both an infant & school-age spot). My closing will put them in a bind, and while I know that's not my problem, I still can't help feeling guilty for it. Sigh.
The bolded part is exactly how I've been feeling, too. You are not alone. I am closing this fall mostly due to this reason.
When the guilt starts in, think: In 5, 10, 15 years, who is going to be more impacted by my decision to close? My children or the daycare families?
The dc families will move on. They may be inconvenienced for a time, but they will deal. Our children, on the other hand, will have to live with our decisions.
It's not selfish. Who better to put their interests first than you?
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Old 04-09-2015, 04:03 PM
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OP, don't feel bad, those families will move on and in a short time forget all about you...do what makes you and your family happy!

If I ever decide to close, it sure wont be cause of the kids, or their (sometime) obnoxious parents!....it'll be cause I have had it with Licensing and all their rules and regulations! I understand we work with defenseless little children but still, some regulations seem to be on the book just to make number, and add to our stress!
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Old 04-09-2015, 04:36 PM
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Just close the parents will find a way.I had to close due to having a heart attack this past Feb. All the parents found care and moved on.I had some families as long as 8 yrs and 3 children. They wil manage you need to do whats best for your family.Good luck.
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