Daycare.com Forum Daycare Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-20-2011, 07:31 PM
Christina72684's Avatar
Christina72684 Christina72684 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 406
Angry Pissed At My Assistant...Never Work With Family!

So my assistant is basically my sister-in-law (she's my husband's brother's girlfriend and they have a 2yr old together and been dating for 5 years). My mother (we co-own the DC) and I hired her 2 months ago and she works about 30 hours a week. She's a really good worker most of the time. She does text quite a bit, but we don't say anything bc she does just about all of the diaper changes and takes care of the 3 month old boy that can be a pain sometimes.

Well my mom needs to work less bc she has another PT job, and I am sick of working 6a-6p every day, so we decided to hire another person just a couple days a week, 5 hours a day. She said her cousin needed about that many hours, so we hired her. She's worked 4 days now, and 2 of those days my mom hasn't been here, so it's been the 3 of us. Both times (today was one of them) the two of them have slacked off, sat around talking, texted a lot, while I do the majority of the work. Today I was washing dishes and boiling bottles while one of them fed a 3 month old and the cousin held my 7 month old daughter, which never needs held bc she's very independent. The whole time they're laughing and goofing off while two of our 1yr olds kept coming in the kitchen bothering me. They both went outside to get the kids off the bus, even though I told them we don't even need to go out there, all we have to do is open the door and watch for them. They both smoke and instead of taking turns and one staying inside to help me, they both go out to the garage together.

I was slightly annoyed today and told my mom about it. She knows what I'm talking about from what she's seen, but they act a little better when my mom's around. What really set me over the edge tonight was when my husband told me that his sister texted him today wondering why I'm talking bad about her. He asked how she knew that and she said my assistant told her. Apparently today while I was feeding all the kids and she was rocking a kid, which was unneeded, they were texting each other and she was ratting me out. I've made a few little comments here and there about my sister-in-law, but never thought that my assistant would go and tell her. My husband says I can't do anything about it b/c he wasn't supposed to say anything, but really if I do anything at all I can always go back on the way they were slacking off today instead of just what she did.

Sorry if this is completely confusing and basically pointless, but I have NO ONE else to vent to and am really upset/hurt/pissed off. I should have known better because this is the SECOND time she's done it to me. Tomorrow I'm not gonna work hardly at all, and told them that we don't need the cousin to work, it'll be just my mom and my sort-of sister-in-law. I don't know if I want the cousin to work anymore at all really.

It's stressful enough owning and running a business with my mom, I guess I should have known better than to hire other "relatives".
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-20-2011, 07:45 PM
sharlan's Avatar
sharlan sharlan is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino, California
Posts: 6,040
Default

First of all, DON'T talk crap about anybody. It will always come back to bite you.

Have a talk with both girls and set down some basic rules. They are being paid to do a job, not sit around chit chatting and going into the garage to smoke.

I would not allow them to smoke during daycare hours. Most parents prefer that their little ones not smell like a cigarette.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-20-2011, 07:53 PM
dave4him's Avatar
dave4him dave4him is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,336
Default

Wish i could find a sticker that says this is a non smoking enviroment...
__________________
"God said, I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.'"
Acts 13:22
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:16 PM
Christina72684's Avatar
Christina72684 Christina72684 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 406
Default

I have them wear a jacket or different shirt and take it off when they're done. Then they have to spray body wash before coming inside. I personally HATE the smell of any type of cigarette and it sucks that the 3 other people who work here all smoke.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:35 PM
sharlan's Avatar
sharlan sharlan is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino, California
Posts: 6,040
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dave4him View Post
Wish i could find a sticker that says this is a non smoking enviroment...
Go to a restaurant supply store. They have a ton of signs.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:41 PM
MsMe's Avatar
MsMe MsMe is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 712
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christina72684 View Post
So my assistant is basically my sister-in-law (she's my husband's brother's girlfriend and they have a 2yr old together and been dating for 5 years). My mother (we co-own the DC) and I hired her 2 months ago and she works about 30 hours a week. She's a really good worker most of the time. She does text quite a bit, but we don't say anything bc she does just about all of the diaper changes and takes care of the 3 month old boy that can be a pain sometimes.

Well my mom needs to work less bc she has another PT job, and I am sick of working 6a-6p every day, so we decided to hire another person just a couple days a week, 5 hours a day. She said her cousin needed about that many hours, so we hired her. She's worked 4 days now, and 2 of those days my mom hasn't been here, so it's been the 3 of us. Both times (today was one of them) the two of them have slacked off, sat around talking, texted a lot, while I do the majority of the work. Today I was washing dishes and boiling bottles while one of them fed a 3 month old and the cousin held my 7 month old daughter, which never needs held bc she's very independent. The whole time they're laughing and goofing off while two of our 1yr olds kept coming in the kitchen bothering me. They both went outside to get the kids off the bus, even though I told them we don't even need to go out there, all we have to do is open the door and watch for them. They both smoke and instead of taking turns and one staying inside to help me, they both go out to the garage together.

I was slightly annoyed today and told my mom about it. She knows what I'm talking about from what she's seen, but they act a little better when my mom's around. What really set me over the edge tonight was when my husband told me that his sister texted him today wondering why I'm talking bad about her. He asked how she knew that and she said my assistant told her. Apparently today while I was feeding all the kids and she was rocking a kid, which was unneeded, they were texting each other and she was ratting me out. I've made a few little comments here and there about my sister-in-law, but never thought that my assistant would go and tell her. My husband says I can't do anything about it b/c he wasn't supposed to say anything, but really if I do anything at all I can always go back on the way they were slacking off today instead of just what she did.

Sorry if this is completely confusing and basically pointless, but I have NO ONE else to vent to and am really upset/hurt/pissed off. I should have known better because this is the SECOND time she's done it to me. Tomorrow I'm not gonna work hardly at all, and told them that we don't need the cousin to work, it'll be just my mom and my sort-of sister-in-law. I don't know if I want the cousin to work anymore at all really.

It's stressful enough owning and running a business with my mom, I guess I should have known better than to hire other "relatives".
I can't even manage my own situation so I can't offer any advice, but please try to talk with everyone and try to get it under control soon so it doesn't snowball like mine situation has.

Other than that I offer you hugs and I hope it all works out for you!!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:42 PM
Crystal's Avatar
Crystal Crystal is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,955
Default

You need to LEAD them. You need to set clear expectations for behavior, job description and duties, you need to model appropriate behavior and speak up when they "slack-off". You employ them. Do something about it.

It really is setting up a hostile environment and that can't be good for ANYONE....especially the CHILDREN.

Do it tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 10-21-2011, 06:43 AM
Cat Herder's Avatar
Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 13,753
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dave4him View Post
Wish i could find a sticker that says this is a non smoking enviroment...
All the office supplies stores sell them as well.

I am REQUIRED to have one posted on my front door. It is a misdemeanor to allow smoking on Childcare premises.


I posted "No Soliciting"....just for me.

My Mom gave me one that said "All unattended children will be given an espresso and free puppy" to minimize dawdling on the lawn at pickup (don't know why they let them throw gravel?).



OP, Toxic environments effect everyone. I think you KNOW you need to get this under control YESTERDAY.
__________________
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 10-21-2011, 06:53 AM
melskids's Avatar
melskids melskids is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,767
Default

my mom and my sister worked for me one summer, and i only have two words to say about that...

NEVER AGAIN!

Mom sat under the tree chatting with the neighbors all summer, ignoring the kids, and my sister was just as immature as the 3 year olds. I spent the summer yelling at her half the time.

I finally had to tell them, nicely, what I expected from them, and they could take it or leave it.

Mom understood, but my sister never worked for me again...which was fine by me.

I suggest writing up some sort of job expectation sheet, and having a meeting with everyone to go over it in detail.

I also had a daily checklist everyone (including me) had to check off when each item was accomplished. It was the only way to stay on top of them to get everything done.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 10-21-2011, 06:55 AM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,311
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal View Post
You need to LEAD them. You need to set clear expectations for behavior, job description and duties, you need to model appropriate behavior and speak up when they "slack-off". You employ them. Do something about it.

It really is setting up a hostile environment and that can't be good for ANYONE....especially the CHILDREN.

Do it tomorrow.
My work here is done.

Cept I will say take their cell phones AWAY FROM THEM and S-E-P-E-R-A-T-E them as much as possible.

I've tried two assistants at the same time with the same group and I haven't been able to manage it. They spend too much energy on what they don't have to do then on what they do have to do. For me it's easier to have ONE who has to do everything.

Once they undertand they have to do everything then the next chore is getting them to do it in a good fast amount of time.

The "holding" the baby that didn't need to be held is a VERY common stall and least possible amount of work the person can find at the moment. In many years of having a helper I've ran into it over a hundred times. In nearly a year of watching center workers on camera I've seen it hundreds of times. The assistant thinks they are the first to think of it
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 10-21-2011, 07:08 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

have a sit down an put it all out there.......


write out expectations and duties and leave room to add to this.

Do a six month review- again explaining what you need.

Explain to them.......they are not needed, they are wanted.

Encourage team work- we all work together for the good of a whole.

All you need is one bad apple to set out a reputation for your place.

Do little things that show you care as a boss and appreciate your employees.

Explain work is different then a social setting or family setting. When we are working, we are working, when we are not working- it's different and we do not mix the two.

If everything is clear to everyone, and everyone knows what their place is, it helps to make a smooth working atmosphere

no smoking so many feet from your facility (most state laws), and no two breaks at one time, unless you clear that.

You need to let them know who is in charge, who the boss is, and if they can't comply they will be replaced, family or not. Absolutely no dissing one another, because it takes a good team to make this place run smooth-

Address issues now, don't let them fester
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 10-21-2011, 07:15 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

boiling bottles


just curious but why are you doing this? I wash mine thouroughly with hot soapy water and rinse them well with hot water.

When my sippy cups get gunked, I soak them in bleach and then wash and rinse well.

Old School?
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 10-21-2011, 07:27 PM
Preschool/daycare teacher's Avatar
Preschool/daycare teacher Preschool/daycare teacher is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: N/A
Posts: 635
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
My work here is done.

Cept I will say take their cell phones AWAY FROM THEM and S-E-P-E-R-A-T-E them as much as possible.

I've tried two assistants at the same time with the same group and I haven't been able to manage it. They spend too much energy on what they don't have to do then on what they do have to do. For me it's easier to have ONE who has to do everything.

Once they undertand they have to do everything then the next chore is getting them to do it in a good fast amount of time.

The "holding" the baby that didn't need to be held is a VERY common stall and least possible amount of work the person can find at the moment. In many years of having a helper I've ran into it over a hundred times. In nearly a year of watching center workers on camera I've seen it hundreds of times. The assistant thinks they are the first to think of it
Sitting in a chair reading to one child on their lap, while 10 other children are left for the other person to care for, is another great stall. Even better when it's their own child they are reading to (any parent coming in thinks "oh how sweet. She's reading to the children" ) Seen that too many times with any subs that have come in to "help" when the owner can't be here. Or re-organizing an already organized kitchen
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
assistant, venting

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Maybe Next Week Nickel Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 18 08-17-2012 05:21 PM
Never Family, Never Friends, Never Friends Of Family! DaisyMamma Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 3 07-08-2012 05:02 PM
My Holidays Don’t Work For A DC Family mrsp'slilpeeps Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 24 05-02-2012 10:24 AM
Family Childcare Training Crystal Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 0 10-22-2010 02:48 PM
Family Daycare, Daycare Center, or what? SDMom Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 1 08-05-2008 11:13 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:20 AM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming