Today I had my first biting incident. The biter is the child I asked for advice about last week...3yo (almost 4), highly competitive, me first and I'm in charge of all the games and play kind of kid. He's a generally pleasant child. All of the problems we've had have come up when he wanted to be first or best at something.

So far today he has pushed another dcg because he wanted to get to something before her. I have talked with his mom about the pushing and shoving and knocking down and she is backing me up and addressing it with him at home. He is the youngest in a family of just boys, and this is his first time in group care, so I think he's just used to a very rough and tumble kind of life.

Anyway, today he bit one of my own kids. So, I'm not worried about losing another family, and I really don't want to lose this dcb, as I'm newly opened and enrollment is slow.

I can't figure out why on earth he bit. I was right there, playing with the children (dc and my own) outside. We were making dirt cakes and singing happy birthday and blowing out candles. Four children were gathered around the little picnic table. Dcb just reaches out, grabs my son's hand, and shoves my son's fingers into his mouth and bites them.

I was right there and couldn't grab his hand soon enough. I checked on the victim (not a very hard bite), and asked the biter why he bit my son. I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to give a time out if it was in play, like, they'd been pretending hands were cake or something, I don't know. I really knew that wasn't case, since I'd been there playing with them, but wanted to give him a chance. But I can't get any kind of answer from dcb. I suspect my son had a tool (they were using pots and pans and spoons) that dcb wanted so he just fought for it.

Proceeded to time out, dcb is now shadowing me until lunch and naptime.

So my question is, do I talk to mom about this biting incident, or just keep an eye on things? I hate to go to her everyday with, well, this is what he did today. After the first time I talked to her about his aggressive behavior, I've been documenting further incidents, only bringing them up if they were serious or if she asks how things are going.

But this is the first bite. And he's almost four, so he definitely knows this is not acceptable behavior. If it were you, would you tell mom that he's now begun biting, or wait to see if the problem continues?

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