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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>My Horns Come Out At Meal Times
NightOwl 11:05 AM 07-03-2014
I have a 2 yr old who eats NOTHING unless it's processed foods. I just made her eat a carrot (the other kids are killing the carrots so I know they're good) and she literally just puked at the table. Crying hysterically because I made her eat a single carrot.... another 2 yr is the same way. They would rather go hungry and then try to gorge themselves at snack time or drink milk as often as I'll allow it.
It is soooo frustrating. I understand a lot of you do the 2 bite rule or something similar, but what do you do when the very first bite gets you a screaming toddler and a table full of puke?
Oh and it's not the carrots. It's ANYTHING edible, unless it's sweet or snackish.
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NeedaVaca 11:11 AM 07-03-2014
I never make a child eat something or do a 2 bite thing. I set it in front of them and they eat or they don't. It can cause a lot of problems down the road if they are forced to eat something...
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NightOwl 11:26 AM 07-03-2014
Let me clarify that, I said Gwen, eat a carrot. She starts crying. I say, you need to eat SOMETHING Gwen. Eat a carrot. Then she puts it in her mouth and starts gagging immediately. So it's not like I put it in her mouth and forced her to chew. That's not what I meant. Sorry, I didn't make that clear at first.
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Unregistered 11:27 AM 07-03-2014
I have a child here like that and when he's here I make sure we have nothing but fruits and protein,vegetables for meal and snack.Very little carbs or milk.Yesterday he was here and we had homemade muffins,raspberries and milk for breakfast but I only gave him 1/4 muffin,2 oz. of milk and a lot of berries.Turkey,cheese wrap,carrots,apple slices,pretzels and milk.I gave him 1/4 sandwich,1 pretzel and loaded up carrots and apples.Same with snack-pepper slices,string chese. A year ago he would have ate nothing all day,not a thing. I also make hi stay seated for a half hour.It's amazing how much they eat when they realize they are not getting up so they might as well eat!
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NeedaVaca 11:38 AM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Let me clarify that, I said Gwen, eat a carrot. She starts crying. I say, you need to eat SOMETHING Gwen. Eat a carrot. Then she puts it in her mouth and starts gagging immediately. So it's not like I put it in her mouth and forced her to chew. That's not what I meant. Sorry, I didn't make that clear at first.
I understood that, I didn't think you physically put the carrot in her mouth I still think it's wrong to make a child eat something IMO.
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AmyKidsCo 11:39 AM 07-03-2014
I wouldn't make an issue of it. Serve the food, and as much as it may kill you, DON'T say a word about what she is or isn't eating. Don't even let her catch you watching her. The bigger deal you make of it the more control she has and the more she'll do whatever it takes to keep that control.

Keep continuing to serve your normal foods but maybe give her less so you're wasting less. For milk, serve the CACFP required amount then water the rest of the day. If she's loading up on snack foods I'd serve the same sorts of things for snack as I do at lunch for a while.

If you take away the fun of a power struggle and let her be in charge of what she eats she'll be more likely to try something, especially when she sees the other children eating it. And if she doesn't, don't let it bug you. It's your job to offer healthy foods. It's her job to decide what and how much to eat. Her decision isn't a reflection on you at all, it's a reflection on her.
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mountainside13 11:42 AM 07-03-2014
Man! I have a 5 yo back for the summer. He will mainly only eat junk food so he won't eat (to get full) until he gets home. Today we had Fet Alfredo with side of broccoli and a banana. He did eat the Alfredo! I put some melted cheese on the broccoli for him to see if he would at least try a bite and it worked! He had 7 more pieces! This was a huge success for him! Many try a dip for her? IMO even if the dip isn't super healthy it's better than nothing. Once she starts eating it with the dip really well then switch it to something healthier.
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CedarCreek 11:46 AM 07-03-2014
I had the same kid last year. She wouldn't eat a thing that wasn't a nugget or mac n' cheese.

Same thing happened to me. I said, "D, try a bite of your veggies before you decide you dont like them" She put some in her mouth and threw up on my table.

Since then, I just left it alone if they didn't eat something. I didn't want to clean up throw up all of the time.
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NightOwl 12:01 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I wouldn't make an issue of it. Serve the food, and as much as it may kill you, DON'T say a word about what she is or isn't eating. Don't even let her catch you watching her. The bigger deal you make of it the more control she has and the more she'll do whatever it takes to keep that control.

Keep continuing to serve your normal foods but maybe give her less so you're wasting less. For milk, serve the CACFP required amount then water the rest of the day. If she's loading up on snack foods I'd serve the same sorts of things for snack as I do at lunch for a while.

If you take away the fun of a power struggle and let her be in charge of what she eats she'll be more likely to try something, especially when she sees the other children eating it. And if she doesn't, don't let it bug you. It's your job to offer healthy foods. It's her job to decide what and how much to eat. Her decision isn't a reflection on you at all, it's a reflection on her.

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NightOwl 12:07 PM 07-03-2014
I was just straightening the kitchen. My dd left the box of pop tarts out this morning, but they were stuck behind some other things. So I put everything away. When she saw the pop tart box in my hands, she started jumping up and down and doing the "give me one" motion with her hands. Sigh..... She's hungry! She HAS to be! But I'm NOT giving her a friggin pop tart after she puked over a carrot. Anything I offer that is not a processed food, she refuses.
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Blackcat31 01:13 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I wouldn't make an issue of it. Serve the food, and as much as it may kill you, DON'T say a word about what she is or isn't eating. Don't even let her catch you watching her. The bigger deal you make of it the more control she has and the more she'll do whatever it takes to keep that control.

Keep continuing to serve your normal foods but maybe give her less so you're wasting less. For milk, serve the CACFP required amount then water the rest of the day. If she's loading up on snack foods I'd serve the same sorts of things for snack as I do at lunch for a while.

If you take away the fun of a power struggle and let her be in charge of what she eats she'll be more likely to try something, especially when she sees the other children eating it. And if she doesn't, don't let it bug you. It's your job to offer healthy foods. It's her job to decide what and how much to eat. Her decision isn't a reflection on you at all, it's a reflection on her.
This is exactly how I do meals.


Wednesday, are meals/routines and your general philosophy about food and healthy eating something you discuss during interviews with parents?

I ask because it sure seems like there are alot of posts on the board about junk foods and getting kids to eat healthy.

I understand completely how that can be normal but it seems to me that it would be beneficial for the parents, the child and the provider if this topic was discussed in detail before enrollment.

If I had a family that wanted to enroll but they didn't care about healthy eating and told me their child only ate processed foods, I would pass on them and tell them they I am not a good fit for them.

It's not really something the parents could lie about because the provider would know within a day or two what things the child really was used to eating. kwim?

Once I made healthy eating a topic of discussion and a major point in my program, I stopped having any type of eating issues.

So just curious how you handle the food part of this before it's an issue.
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NightOwl 03:42 PM 07-03-2014
It is discussed during interviews and
most parents say that is one of the selling point for choosing me. They want their child to have healthy meals. But now I'm beginning to think what they actually mean is, we want YOU to give our child healthy meals because lord knows WE don't.
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Meeko 04:10 PM 07-03-2014
Serve her a small portion. Don't even blink an eye if she doesn't touch it. After the meal, clear up without a comment. She waits for the next meal or snack. Rinse/repeat.

If she never eats a morsel at your house, don't sweat it. You have offered it. That's all you need to do. The rest is up to her and her parents.
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Blackcat31 04:22 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
It is discussed during interviews and
most parents say that is one of the selling point for choosing me. They want their child to have healthy meals. But now I'm beginning to think what they actually mean is, we want YOU to give our child healthy meals because lord knows WE don't.



I assume most parents know and expect family child care providers to serve healthy foods and not junk.

I mean discussing with a parent exactly how you handle meal routines and what things you will or won't do.

What Meeko said below is something I would say to a parent.
I want the parent to know I am not doing certain things and most of all I want them to know I am serving what I serve and that is that.

I am not making special meals, making exceptions and most of all NOT stressing if their child doesn't eat. I'll be sure to let them know but I am not going to stress about it. That is their job.

I absolutely encourage kids to try fun new recipes and ideas but only in the same manner I encourage them to learn to catch a ball or make a lowercase "d"..kwim?

I also make sure parents know that if their kid starts making meal time unpleasant for anyone else either through actions (crying or fussing) or by saying "I hate xx" etc, then they won't be enrolled in my care long.

I feel very strongly about my meal routines and how I manage them so that I don't have to stress about food and healthy eating but most of all so that kids don't have to.

Originally Posted by Meeko:
Serve her a small portion. Don't even blink an eye if she doesn't touch it. After the meal, clear up without a comment. She waits for the next meal or snack. Rinse/repeat.

If she never eats a morsel at your house, don't sweat it. You have offered it. That's all you need to do. The rest is up to her and her parents.

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NightOwl 05:39 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:



I assume most parents know and expect family child care providers to serve healthy foods and not junk.

I mean discussing with a parent exactly how you handle meal routines and what things you will or won't do.

What Meeko said below is something I would say to a parent.
I want the parent to know I am not doing certain things and most of all I want them to know I am serving what I serve and that is that.

I am not making special meals, making exceptions and most of all NOT stressing if their child doesn't eat. I'll be sure to let them know but I am not going to stress about it. That is their job.

I absolutely encourage kids to try fun new recipes and ideas but only in the same manner I encourage them to learn to catch a ball or make a lowercase "d"..kwim?

I also make sure parents know that if their kid starts making meal time unpleasant for anyone else either through actions (crying or fussing) or by saying "I hate xx" etc, then they won't be enrolled in my care long.

I feel very strongly about my meal routines and how I manage them so that I don't have to stress about food and healthy eating but most of all so that kids don't have to.
Agreed. But here's a question. What do you do when the child doesn't eat lunch (which is daily) and at snack time, asks for seconds, thirds, etc?

She picks at breakfast (only the carbs), no lunch at all, then scarfs down as much snack as I'll give her (also only carbs). She never touches the fruit served, either. So every.single.day she is only consuming carbs.
So do I allow her to essentially stuff herself at snack time? I'm not sure where to cut her off. I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want her entire intake for one day to be a few nibbles of toast and tons of goldfish, kwim? Or should I stop worrying about it and leave it to the parents?
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NeedaVaca 06:09 PM 07-03-2014
I would probably change most of my snacks to fruits & veggies. She'll eat if she's hungry Lot's of fun dips to go with them. Hummus, Kale chips, roasted chick peas, fruit kabobs, yogurts etc.
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NightOwl 08:07 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I would probably change most of my snacks to fruits & veggies. She'll eat if she's hungry Lot's of fun dips to go with them. Hummus, Kale chips, roasted chick peas, fruit kabobs, yogurts etc.
I thought a grain/carb was a required component for snacks?
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daycare 08:11 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Agreed. But here's a question. What do you do when the child doesn't eat lunch (which is daily) and at snack time, asks for seconds, thirds, etc?

She picks at breakfast (only the carbs), no lunch at all, then scarfs down as much snack as I'll give her (also only carbs). She never touches the fruit served, either. So every.single.day she is only consuming carbs.
So do I allow her to essentially stuff herself at snack time? I'm not sure where to cut her off. I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want her entire intake for one day to be a few nibbles of toast and tons of goldfish, kwim? Or should I stop worrying about it and leave it to the parents?
I have 3 kids that refuse all meals all day and their behavior becomes horrific because of it.
The only thing they ever consume is milk at breakfast and lunch.

Their parents complain and I offer it they choose to eat or not.
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CraftyMom 08:42 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I thought a grain/carb was a required component for snacks?
I also wouldn't offer carbs at snack if that's her game plan. For my food program, snack is a combination of 2 components. The components are milk, meat (protein), juice/fruit or vegetable, and grains. Choose any 2. So essentially I could completely skip grains every snack
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Meyou 03:14 AM 07-04-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Agreed. But here's a question. What do you do when the child doesn't eat lunch (which is daily) and at snack time, asks for seconds, thirds, etc?

She picks at breakfast (only the carbs), no lunch at all, then scarfs down as much snack as I'll give her (also only carbs). She never touches the fruit served, either. So every.single.day she is only consuming carbs.
So do I allow her to essentially stuff herself at snack time? I'm not sure where to cut her off. I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want her entire intake for one day to be a few nibbles of toast and tons of goldfish, kwim? Or should I stop worrying about it and leave it to the parents?
I only offer fresh veggies for snack for children who don't eat a healthy lunch. The kids all know this. It isn't a punishment...it is a natural consequence to not putting good food in their bodies earlier in the day.

If you HAVE to offer a carb I would offer only whole grain options and only one small serving per child. Anyone that's hungry can fill up on fruit or veg.
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Josiegirl 03:29 AM 07-04-2014
Yeh, I don't get it. Kids nowadays...there are so many foods they don't like and won't even try. I have a 5 yo who I asked what kind of veggies does she like. Cucumbers and lettuce. She's diabetic so I'd really like to have her expand her horizons ya know? She's very carb crazy, fortunately she also loves cheese and chicken but still I feel she needs to try other things.

When I was a kid we ate or waited until the next meal. Course we didn't frequent places like McD's or Pizza Hut all the time either. Is that the cause of today's kids' preferences? Or was it just because eating what was served was expected. But then I have 1 family who eats out a lot, yet their 2 kids are really good eaters, they'll eat just about anything.

I had a dcb last year who lived on corn dogs and pizza. If he ate his corn dog for supper they'd give him a cookie cause he ate his supper.

I can understand not liking a few things. But most everything?? It is extremely frustrating.

Yesterday for lunch, we had salmon, sourdough bread, cherry tomatoes, red peppers and cucumbers. Out of 7 dcks 4 loved the salmon, 3 at least tried it but left it for my dogs, which made *them* very happy. I should just serve hot dogs and Kraft mac'n'cheese every day.
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Happily_wed 06:33 AM 07-04-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Agreed. But here's a question. What do you do when the child doesn't eat lunch (which is daily) and at snack time, asks for seconds, thirds, etc?

She picks at breakfast (only the carbs), no lunch at all, then scarfs down as much snack as I'll give her (also only carbs). She never touches the fruit served, either. So every.single.day she is only consuming carbs.
So do I allow her to essentially stuff herself at snack time? I'm not sure where to cut her off. I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want her entire intake for one day to be a few nibbles of toast and tons of goldfish, kwim? Or should I stop worrying about it and leave it to the parents?
I would serve what I wanted for snack and only allow her one serving of the carb. If there are fruits and/or veggies then she has more to eat, she just chooses not to. That is not your fault. I only allow one serving of snack anyway as it's about an hour before pickup and they can eat more when they get home.
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AmyKidsCo 08:00 AM 07-04-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I thought a grain/carb was a required component for snacks?
Not for the food program - 2 different components are required, not necessarily grain. Except you can't do juice & milk.

I allow seconds of everything, and thirds on veggies. No child has ever starved by missing a meal, or even by not eating a whole day.

I recently read in an article about the French way of eating - children don't snack all day like they do in America, they're served the exact same foods as the adults and expected to try everything. The kids don't drink juice all day either. That's why the French don't have a childhood obesity problem like America does, even though they eat richer, higher calorie foods.
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Blackcat31 08:05 AM 07-04-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Agreed. But here's a question. What do you do when the child doesn't eat lunch (which is daily) and at snack time, asks for seconds, thirds, etc?

She picks at breakfast (only the carbs), no lunch at all, then scarfs down as much snack as I'll give her (also only carbs). She never touches the fruit served, either. So every.single.day she is only consuming carbs.
So do I allow her to essentially stuff herself at snack time? I'm not sure where to cut her off. I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want her entire intake for one day to be a few nibbles of toast and tons of goldfish, kwim? Or should I stop worrying about it and leave it to the parents?
I don't serve carbs for snack and I don't offer seconds at snack. Ever.

I DO want my kids to be hungry.

Hunger is an basic need. A need that drives a child to try new things and thus want to eat at meal time.

I also don't care if her entire intake for the day at my house is a few nibbles. She will eat when SHE chooses to eat. You can't force it...kwim?

Yes, I leave this to the parents. The foundation to good eating habits and liking healthy meals is up to the parents. It's about role modeling, providing the proper choices and having a good routine that leaves little room for junk/processed foods.

If the parents do their part AT HOME and set the stage for their child to be successful during meals/snacks in regards to healthy eating habits then there is RARELY an issue outside of home.

I do NOT worry or stress over this issue. Like any general family belief or values, it's up to the family to provide the basics/boundaries.

Anything that happens in daycare is just additional not foundational.
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NightOwl 10:42 AM 07-04-2014
Thank you so much guys! You all always steer me in the right direction! I'm going to reevaluate my entire breakfast/snack menus and do some serious grocery shopping before the kids return on Monday!
I'm eliminating carbs at snack time, at least for a while, to see if she'll "gorge" herself on what I provide. Maybe her hunger is extreme by snack time and she'll actually try something new!
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CraftyMom 10:44 AM 07-04-2014

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Josiegirl 03:53 PM 07-04-2014
Everything here goes better with ranch, honey mustard, or hummus. Might be a way to get kids to eat veggies. I know my ds used to eat apple trees(broccoli with applesauce). Or he'd eat frozen peas but not cooked.
We had frozen smoothie popsicles on Friday. You'd have to serve another component I think, but everybody loved them and there wasn't anything bad in them.
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Luna 07:23 PM 07-04-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
We had frozen smoothie popsicles on Friday. You'd have to serve another component I think, but everybody loved them and there wasn't anything bad in them.
If you add milk or yogurt, you've got your two components.
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NightOwl 10:26 AM 07-05-2014
Menus have been totally revamped to include many more veggies, unsweetened snacks like whole wheat crackers, etc. Now, off to the grocery store!
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Meyou 03:10 AM 07-06-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Menus have been totally revamped to include many more veggies, unsweetened snacks like whole wheat crackers, etc. Now, off to the grocery store!
You go girl! I agree with the dip comment above BTW. My kiddos all eat raw veggies with much more enthusiasm if they have dip. I serve homemade or Costco hummus 99% of the time with the veggies.
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KristineHappyMom 11:38 PM 07-06-2014
I agree that you should never force a child to eat anything. I just serve them the type of food that I find healthy. Since we play a lot of activity games, when the mealtime comes, they are quite hungry and I rarely have problems of that sort.
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MissAnn 04:15 AM 07-07-2014
Originally Posted by Meyou:
You go girl! I agree with the dip comment above BTW. My kiddos all eat raw veggies with much more enthusiasm if they have dip. I serve homemade or Costco hummus 99% of the time with the veggies.
Can you share your hummus recipe?
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