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  #1  
Old 05-17-2016, 12:47 PM
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Unhappy Help! 3 Year Old Cries All Day Long Everyday

We have had the child in our care for the last two years. About two months ago she started crying and when I say crying I mean crying all day long everyday over everything. My food is too hot my food is to cold the baby touched my toy. My mat is not where I want it to be. I miss my momma. We at first thought it was because we had a couple of kids grow out of daycare and she was always treated like a little princess by the older girl. So we figured the usual timeouts would get her to stop. Here we are almost two months later and she is still crying she refuses to eat most days she refuses to play with her friends she refuses to sleep she physically makes her self poop and puke. She would rather just sit by her self with her head down. I have made every effort every single day to get her to engage in craft time outside time. I have tried ignoring her behavior but she is not taking a toll on the other kids who use to be her friends. When she is in the playroom with them they also now refuse to eat refuse to leave the table and also start crying. I have talked to her mother multiple times about the situation I am really not sure what to do. We have tried times out we have tried ignoring we have tried placing her sleeping mat away from everyone else. I don't want to get rid of her but I am at a loss as to what to do to help her.
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:04 PM
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Is she on a tablet/ipad at home?
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:15 PM
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No her mom doesn't even really let her watch t.v now mind you she will be three in a month and she is the average size of a 15 month old. She is very smart has been able to use complete sentences for almost the entire time I've had her. She was almost completely pottied trained then her mom started putting panties over top of her diaper and so she started peeing herself again. I feel like she is reverting back to an infant.
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:21 PM
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No her mom doesn't even really let her watch t.v now mind you she will be three in a month and she is the average size of a 15 month old. She is very smart has been able to use complete sentences for almost the entire time I've had her. She was almost completely pottied trained then her mom started putting panties over top of her diaper and so she started peeing herself again. I feel like she is reverting back to an infant.
If she is verbal...what has she said about why she is suddenly crying and not wanting to play?
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:37 PM
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She tells us it because one of the kids tried to play with her or she misses her mom. Because she doesn't want to play. She wants to sit in the princess chair or she wants to lay down. Because one of the kids looked at her and she doesn't like them. All day long it's some crazy off the wall reason and this starts at 7 in the morning and last till 5 pm she is literally crying 80% of the day.
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Old 05-17-2016, 01:44 PM
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She tells us it because one of the kids tried to play with her or she misses her mom. Because she doesn't want to play. She wants to sit in the princess chair or she wants to lay down. Because one of the kids looked at her and she doesn't like them. All day long it's some crazy off the wall reason and this starts at 7 in the morning and last till 5 pm she is literally crying 80% of the day.
Ugh! I don't know how you deal. I made up my mind years ago (after I had one the same) that I would never ever again put up with that or allow the other kids to have to.

I wonder what changed in her life around 2 months ago that made her begin to act so differently?
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:28 PM
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I just got out of a very similar situation. Dcg was 2.5, very very smart and verbal, but was overly sensitive and emotional. Our days were terrible and I just could not get through to her. After working with her over a year and a half, I learned a lot about her family. She was the baby of the family to much much older siblings. Dcm was a teacher and schooled her every chance she got, but also babied her. Dcm would not let dcg cry ever and coslept so dcg was often over tired too. She was also praised for every little thing. I came to the conclusion that dcg was so used to constant attention and praise that daycare was a nightmare for her. I do careful screening now to avoid taking one like that again.
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Old 05-17-2016, 03:44 PM
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So her mom just came and got her and I told her about how she is now scratching at her eyes when she gets mad. She told me that her dad has a super bad temper and that he does similar things. I have read where if you don't call attention to her behavior and you just ignore it sometimes that helps. We tried separating her out and that did not help at all if anything it made it worse. She didn't use to scratch at her face ugh. I am going to try to just ignore her behavior tomorrow and see if she acts normal maybe perhaps she just doing it to get attention she is an only child. I would normally just put in my two weeks but she been with us for 2 years and I am not ready to give up on her yet. I know that the parents separated almost a year ago and she never really had a problem at that time perhaps it is now just hitting her mom is moving on and so is dad and maybe that makes her sad and this the way she deals with it.
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Old 05-17-2016, 05:04 PM
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When I first started reading this my first thought was, "someone is getting a new sibling" but if she's used to having mom all to herself and now mom 'is moving on' from her ex and has a new boyfriend, your dcg may not be getting the princess treatment at 100% power at home anymore...

But for some reason I still feel that this is a new sibling thing...
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Old 05-17-2016, 05:15 PM
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Her mom is not pregnant and her boyfriend is childless as well. I have seen them out an about quite a few times as this is a small town and she seems completely fine and happy. We did get a new toddler here but we have had new kids start in the past and she has been fine. The new girl is only here part time and she has been with us since December. I am currently pregnant we are due next month.
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Old 05-17-2016, 05:21 PM
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It's pretty likely that something happened 2 months ago to cause the changes. Maybe, at the beginning of the day, before she gets a chance to start having excuses, ask her if something is bothering her, either here or at home. Tell her you want to help if you can, but can't help without knowing what's wrong.
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Old 05-18-2016, 05:14 AM
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She's been with you for 2/3rd of her life? Maybe the sibling issue is your pregnancy?
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Old 05-18-2016, 06:55 AM
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Have you ever heard the term threenager (3 year old teenager)? That's what you've got on your hands, I think. I have one too. She's got the attitude of a 13 year old girl.

If you can't pinpoint any other cause for the sudden change in demeanor, that would be my best guess.

HOWEVER, if she was my child, I would make a trip to the dr. Just to be sure there's nothing physically wrong. My threenager does all the same things, but she never asks to lay down and never sits with her head down to cry. Those two things sound more like depressive traits or maybe symptoms of not feeling well and I would be concerned.
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Old 05-18-2016, 06:57 AM
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How long had BF been in mom's life?
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Old 05-18-2016, 07:08 AM
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I would suggest the mother have her seen by a doctor to rule out any physical issues. I would also make sure I was documenting this behavior and how "sudden" it came on.

I don't know...at this point, I'm starting to wonder about some sort of abuse or something happening at home...

Certainly don't want to start pointing fingers at any adult in her life but sudden unexplained changes in behavior of a child that extreme isn't something I would just brush off as normal for her age or as her being a drama queen.

If she has been with you for so long and has been secure and comfortable with you up until this point, there HAS to have been a catalyst for this sudden change....
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Old 05-18-2016, 07:09 AM
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I found this article that has some ideas.

http://centerforparentingeducation.o...l-sensitivity/

Have you tried making a calming area for her (and others to use).

Some books about feelings, a basket of squishy balls, a mirror, soft pillows, stuffed animals, sensory bottles.

I would not put her to bed; that makes bed a negative. Stick to the routine. If she doesn't want to eat, she can sit at the table and talk to her friends. If she cries, she can go sit in the cuddle corner and wait. Put it on the far end of the room from the table, and make it matter-of-fact.

This website has some really great tools. You can use introduce some of them at circle time to the whole group.

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html

There are "feelings faces", which are a great way to give children words for their feelings.

I know the whole thing is frustrating, but please keep in mind that this little girl has been on this earth less than 3 years. She is not being difficult just to make life harder on others. Something is not right, and she's trying to communicate that.

Poor thing....poor you!
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Old 05-19-2016, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I would suggest the mother have her seen by a doctor to rule out any physical issues. I would also make sure I was documenting this behavior and how "sudden" it came on.

I don't know...at this point, I'm starting to wonder about some sort of abuse or something happening at home...

Certainly don't want to start pointing fingers at any adult in her life but sudden unexplained changes in behavior of a child that extreme isn't something I would just brush off as normal for her age or as her being a drama queen.


If she has been with you for so long and has been secure and comfortable with you up until this point, there HAS to have been a catalyst for this sudden change....
Agree 100%!
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Old 05-19-2016, 05:14 PM
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I agree something sounds terribly wrong. First thing I thought was possible abuse. This is such a big change from her usual disposition, so extreme, and came on so suddenly. This child is in distress and crying out for help!

I really suggest against putting her in time out. She needs connection over isolatation. I know it's stressful for you too!

The Vanderbilt is a great site and has lots of printables and social emotional activities.
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Old 05-19-2016, 06:52 PM
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New boyfriend might have started abusing her. I don't know why but like some others my redflag alarm went off like crazy on this. Could possibly be the new mom too? Something is just not right here and I would try to get to the bottom of it somehow.

I have heard that pedophiles will often target single moms.
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Old 05-19-2016, 07:06 PM
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I'm sure you have tried this already but doesn't hurt to suggest. Have you tried giving a morning nap? Dcm could have her on a new sleep achedule that could be throwing her off?
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  #21  
Old 05-20-2016, 02:00 AM
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So your response to a - two- year old who suddenly cries all day and is upset to the point of soiling herself is to think of how many different ways you can punish or ignore her?? My god, my heart is aching for this poor little girl. I hope you take your heart the words of experienced providers like Heidi and Blackcat here. You are the grownup in the situation and this child is desperately crying out for your help, but you're annoyed and want to punish her. SMH.
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